No Regrets

by B. B. Donnelly

  “I’ve waited a long time to hear that, Jackson. First, we need to end this mess with my uncle and save the nation before I can think about us.”

  “I understand. I will do everything in my power to help you.”

  “Okay, well, let’s get to planning.” I say as calmly as I can. My emotions are in turmoil. I want so bad to be in his arms and let him hold me. But I’m not ready yet. It would be so easy to fall back into loving and trusting him, but I’ve been through this before. I need more proof before I can fully trust him again.

  We start to head into the house when he stops me. He pulls me in close and I lose my breath.

  “I’m so sorry Carter. I never wanted to lay a hand on you. I can’t stand the thought that I hit you. I hit your precious face…” He cups my face with his hands, staring into my eyes. He leans in and hesitantly kisses my forehead. He slowly lets me go.

  “I just wanted you to know that.” He says softly, with eyes downcast.

  “Hey, I get it. But be ready, you’re probably going to have to do worse to me.” His eyes looked shocked and a little panicked.

  “What?”

  “Jackson, we have to make it believable. I need you to do this. I know you don’t want too, but it’s part of the plan.” He starts to shake his head, “hear me out… You are the only one that can do it. Everyone else is compromised. I need you more than ever. You have to do this. I swear I will not hold this against you.”

  “Carter, I don’t know….” I grab his hands.

  “We got this. We are in this together. I need this done. I want this over with. I need to move on with my life.”

  “With me?”

  “I hope so.” That’s all I can give him right now. I need him to help me now more than ever. He gives me a nod and I see the determination on his handsome face. I pat his cheek, letting it slowly fall. Our eyes connect and the intensity between us is breathtaking. My lips part and he draws me in closer.

  “Please….” He breaths out. I raise my lips to his and softly caress his. It’s gentle. He presses forward. I know he wants more, but I push him away gently, breaking our connection. He leans forward so that our foreheads are touching. We are both breathing heavily. I turn from him and his touch and walk into the house without looking back. Julia meets me.

  “So, I talked to my father. I told him what happened with mom. Apparently, my parents haven’t been really together in a long time. He was completely appalled by what happened and wants to help us. Carter, I trust him. You know my dad, he isn’t like my mother in any way. I never truly knew why they were even together.” Jackson comes up behind me.

  “From what I know of him, he is pretty legit.” Jackson inputs. I nod my head.

  “Okay, what’s he think we should do?”

  “He is sending someone to help us out. I am going to meet them away from here and then bring them to us, blindfolded, just in case.”

  “Do we have a name? I think Charlie should check this person out before we just let them in.” I say with caution.

  “Meredith Smalls.” I look over and Boots catches my eye.

  “Meredith Smalls… hmmm…. Boots, who is she?”

  “Meredith isn’t her real name. She is a deeply undercover agent. I’m sorry to say I don’t know her name. She lived across the hall when I was undercover as you know. She kept to herself, but I knew she was working for your father. I’m not sure if she is affiliated with your uncle. She is very much a professional and extremely good at what she does.”

  “What exactly is that?”

  “A little bit of everything. From the bits and pieces, she let slip, which is hardly anything, is that she is an extremely skilled assassin.” Boots says. I’m intrigued. She sounds kickass.

  Julia’s phone rings. Julia answers and I know it’s her father.

  “Okay…. I’ll be there…. Thanks, Dad…. I’ll keep in touch.” She hangs up and looks at us.

  “It’s go time. We have to pick her up.” Julia says.

  “Logan go with her. I swear if this is a trap, you take out whoever you need to. Stay safe and be careful.” I say and watch as they gear up. Charlie comes out of the office, just as they leave.

  “How are you doing?” I ask, Charlie glances at me and then Jackson.

  “I’m getting there. I hate to say it, but we need you on the inside. I need more.” He says looking at Jackson.

  “We are working on it right now.” Jackson says, just then his phone rings. He tells us to hush. He puts it on speaker.

  “Cowboy! Where the hell are you?” My uncle bellows through the phone. Charlie holds up his phone, recording the conversation.

  “Sir, I have a lead. I think I know where your niece is. What are your orders?”

  “Bring her in, right away! I need that briefcase!”

  “Yes, sir. I’ll get it done.” Jackson replies, but my uncle doesn’t respond. He just hangs up.

  “Besides the evidence in the briefcase, what else is in there?” Jackson asks.

  “The location to all of my money. My parents left their money to me, but all the accounts are located in different places. He wants that list of the banks, cities, countries, account numbers, so on. It’s all in the briefcase.”

  “All this for money…” Boots mutters.

  “Greed and Power. The downfall of mankind.” Charlie says with sarcasm.

  “Okay, we need to get this going. Can we wait until morning before I get captured again? I want to be rested before I get tortured again.” I say dryly. Jackson cringes.

  “What?” Charlie asks, pissed. Boots gives me a questioning look.

  “Guys, we went over this. What do you think is going to happen when my uncle gets a hold of me? He isn’t going to go easy on me. I asked Jackson to be the one.” They both turn to look at Jackson.

  “You agreed to this!” Charlie yells. Jackson puts his hands up in surrender.

  “I swear this is all her idea. But she is right, I can control it. If it is anyone else, they may kill her. We can’t take that risk.”

  “Dude….” Boots starts, shaking his head, “this is some messed up shit.” Charlie storms out of the room back into the office, slamming the door.

  “Let me talk to him.” I say. I leave Jackson and Boots. I open the door to the office. Charlie is sitting in front of the computer screens with his hands on his head. I glance around and notice that it is set up like the one in the old house.

  “Nice set up here.” I say, trying to break the silence.

  “Don’t Carter, don’t do it. We can find another way.” I come up behind him and wrap my arms around him.

  “Charlie, you have to let me. I know it isn’t ideal, but it’s all we got. I can do this.”

  “Do you trust him?” He asks. I release him and come to sit down in a chair next to him. I take a deep breath.

  “Yes.”

  “You love him, still.”

  “Yes.” He nods slowly and smiles a little.

  “You are a crazy girl, you know that?” I laugh.

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, I’ve got your back.” He reaches up and opens a cabinet. It’s full of little devices. He pulls out two small diamond studs out of a box. He messes with them a little before handing them to me.

  “Put these on.”

  “Awe jewelry for me, you shouldn’t have!”

  “Shut up, smartass.” I laugh and put them into my ears. Suddenly, the computer screen shows Charlie and the computer screens reflecting back. I turn and see the whole room on the screen as I turn a circle.

  “Cameras.” He is echoing through the screen, “and obviously sound.”

  “These are genius!” I take them off and hand them back to Charlie.

  “This way we get his confession. I will have to tell Jackson not to hit you around your ears.” He says with emotion.

  “Hey, it will be fine.”

  “I just don’t know how he will be able to do it. There is no way, I could.”

  “Yes, you
could. Charlie, it’s a life or death situation here. He will keep me alive.”

  I lean over and give him a hug. He wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly.

  “Thank you, Charlie, for everything. You truly are the best person I know. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. Please, know that I will forever hold you in my heart.” He pulls back, looking at me.

  “This sounds like goodbye.” I shrug and try to hold back tears.

  “Nope, just…. You never know… and I wanted to let you know that.” I say a little choked up. He pulls me in again.

  “Carter, this has never been just your fight. You know that, right? We all want justice. We want to make this right. Stop with your goodbyes. I will not let that happen. Logan, Julia, Boots, and Jackson will not let that happen.” I nod into his chest. He pulls away first.

  “Now, get out of here, get some rest, I’ve got shit to do.” He says trying to lighten the mood. I laugh and head for the door after ruffling his hair. He swipes at my hand. I’m reaching for the door….

  “Hey Carter,” I turn to look back, “you’re welcome.” I smile and leave the room with a heavy heart.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Boots and Jackson are no longer in the kitchen, so I head up to my room. When I open the door, I find Jackson laying on my bed. He gives me a sexy smile. I crawl onto the bed and lay my head on his chest. We cuddle for a while in silence. His shirt has ridden up and I can see his stomach muscles. I can’t help but run my hand across them. He trembles a little. He grabs my hand, placing kisses on each finger, looking deeply into my eyes. His blue eyes are piercing through mine.

  “Do you miss how easy it used to be?” I ask.

  “I don’t think it has ever been easy.” He replies. I look up at him with questions.

  “Carter, you and I have never been easy. Our lives maybe, in the sense, we knew what we were supposed to do. But, when it came to you, I thought we would never be here. Everyone, especially your father, have tried to keep us apart. I thought I was doing the right thing, by listening to the Organization and your father. They all said I didn’t deserve you. Your father warned me to stay away from you from the time we were kids. He knew how I felt about you. I’ve tried, god did I try.” I stare into his handsome face, shocked at this revelation. He must see something on my face.

  “You never knew how I felt all those years, did you?”

  “No, you treated me like an annoying little sister until recently.”

  “Like I said, your father… Carter, your father was wonderful to me. I owed him so much, so I tried to treat you with the respect you deserved. I’m sorry it took so long for us to get here. I hate the fact that I didn’t realize how much the Organization controlled our lives.”

  “It’s okay. I just want to enjoy tonight. Let’s not talk about what ifs or anything. Life is too short.” I say, getting comfortable. We lay in each other’s arms for over an hour just enjoying the calm before the storm.

  We get up when we hear a car pulling up to the house. We are on our way downstairs when the front door opens. Julia walks in with a girl behind her. Logan follows. The girl is gorgeous. She is tiny with dark brown hair pulled up in a ponytail and a beautiful

  face. She looks up at us as we meet them in the front foyer. I hear a door open and glance at Charlie. His face is completely white. The girl looks over.

  “Charlie?” She gasps. Charlie is standing there in complete shock.

  “Maddie?” We all look over at Meredith/Maddie. She in shock as well. Boots comes down the stairs.

  “Well, look who we have here! Meredith! Long time no see!” He scoops Meredith/Maddie up into a hug. She limply hugs him back. I walk over to Charlie as Boots chatters on with Meredith/Maddie. We really need to figure out what we are going to call her.

  “Hey, are you okay?” I ask, touching Charlie’s shoulder.

  “I don’t understand.” He says, quietly.

  “What’s wrong.” He shrugs me off and walks over to Meredith/Maddie.

  “Maddie, we need to talk.” He drags the poor girl into the office. We look at each other in confusion.

  “Who’s Maddie?” Boots ask.

  “I’m guessing it’s Meredith’s real name.” Jackson says. I’m starting to figure out that Maddie is Charlie’s lost love. But why is she an agent? We hear yelling from the office. I’m not sure if one of us should intervene. We need Maddie to help us. The door flies open and Charlie storms out. He yanks the front door open and is gone. Maddie slowly comes into the kitchen with tears running down her face. She doesn’t look like a killer assassin at the moment.

  “What the hell is going on?” I ask. I’m feeling protective of Charlie and I don’t want this girl messing with his feelings.

  “I’m sorry…. this is really crazy.” She mumbles. Then she pulls herself together and looks at us.

  “Look, it’s really between Charlie and I, but I’ll explain, so maybe, you can get through to Charlie.” We all look at her expectantly.

  “Charlie and I were in love. I was much like you guys. I grew up in the Organization. I was an active agent at a very young age. My mission was to get close to the kid hacker and make sure he was doing what he was supposed to. But I fell in love with Charlie. I knew he was working for the Organization, but he never knew about me. I wanted to quit and live a normal life with him. I knew it was risky, but I thought they would understand. I didn’t know at the time that Charlie was thinking the same thing. Your uncle ordered those men to beat and rape me. I thought it was because I wanted to leave, but they were afraid to lose Charlie. He knew all the governments secrets. I was the warning. Anyway, long story short, your father, Brenton, got a hold of me some time later, asking me to come work for him. I never knew what happened to Charlie. They warned me if I ever told him or got in touch with him, they would kill him. I never knew he was working for Brenton too. I think we got played.” She explains, pain evident in her face.

  “You should have told me.” Charlie says, surprising us all from the front door. My gut drops at the thought that my father kept them apart. He used them. But that was my father for you. He never believed in love. He thought it was just a distraction.

  “I know. I was afraid that they would kill you.”

  “How did you never cross paths?” Boots asks.

  “I would say that Brenton made sure of that.” Jackson states. I have to agree.

  “Damn him! He was my friend! How could he?” Charlie bellows. I flinch. I can’t help but feel awful for my father’s betrayal.

  “Charlie, I’m sorry, I know…” I start to say…but Charlie holds a hand up.

  “Carter, stop right there. You are not your father. I don’t want your apology.”

  “Charlie, can we please talk?” Maddie asks. Charlie takes a deep breath and nods. He guides her back into the office. This time I think it will be a little more pleasant. I ignore the sting of jealousy. Charlie has been my rock, but I know how much she meant to him. I have no right to claim him when it’s always been Jackson for me. I need to let him find his happiness too. I hope it’s with Maddie. At least then I would feel better after what my father did. I loved my father, but I can never understand his views on love. Love makes you stronger. I look over at Jackson and find him staring at me. Julia breaks our connection.

  “I’m feeling a little lazy, let’s go outside and train. Logan? Boots? Jackson? Carter, if you want to rest, I completely understand.”

  “I’m in, I’m ready to kick some ass, you ready for round two Jackson?” Boots boasts.

  “Whatever dude, I let you win.” Jackson says, smirking. The confident kick ass guy I grew up with is coming out. He saunters over to me, all sexy.

  “What about you Sparkler, you think you can take me?” Damn……

  “Anytime, Cowboy.” I say. I pull my hair up into a ponytail using a hair tie from my wrist. His eyes roam over my body and I get chills in all the right places.

  “Alright, let’s go, enough with
the sexual tension. Man, I need to get laid! Everyone here is pairing up.” Boots exclaims. Logan picks Julia up over his shoulder. We follow her and her laughter outside.

  The air seems so clean, I take a deep breath, just enjoying the smells of nature and the beautiful scenery. We all start stretching and joking around with each other. I look around and realize how blessed I am to have all of them. This is my family now.

  “Come here, Sparkler,” Jackson taunts, crooking his finger at me. I launch myself at him and we start sparring just like we used to so long ago. Logan and Julia have paired up. I’m attacking Jackson with all I have, but he just keeps blocking me and ducking out of the way. I feel movement behind me, and I immediately squat down, swiping at Boots legs. I quickly move out of the way of the two men. I’m squaring off against both. Jackson and Boots exchange cocky looks and then start towards me. I’m fighting them as hard as I can, but they are so good. I take a few glancing blows from both. I elbow Boots when he comes in to grab me and sidekick Jackson. Logan and Julia come after Boots and he is trying to fend them off. It’s just Jackson and me. He infuriates me when he gives me a sexy wink.

  “Come on baby, come at me.” He says, smirking and obviously checking me out.

  “You like what you see?” I ask, with a smile, recalling my words from so long ago.

  “Definitely.” He says, his blue eyes shining. He comes towards me and we grapple. Just when I think I’m getting him, he flips me over and lands sprawled on top of me, pinning me down.

  “Damn,” I breathe out. He starts caressing my hair.

  “It was a good try, Sparkler.” He says. Then he brings his face to mine, gently kissing my lips. It quickly erupts into much more.

  “Hey, hey, enough of that! I’m starving!” Boots yells out. Jackson starts to chuckle and releases me. He gives me a hand up and we join the others. We are all sweaty, but happy.

  “Yeah, I should probably rest up. I have a big day tomorrow.” I say, trying to be cheerful. A dark look crosses Jackson’s face. I rest a hand on him, pleading with him that it is okay.