No Regrets

by B. B. Donnelly

  “Come on! We have to go now!” Boots drags me out the door and we are racing down the corridor. Boots suddenly stops and jerks me in front of him. He grabs my arms,

  holding them tight behind my back. An agent comes around the corner. Boots pushes me forward. The agent glances at us and then slows down, staring at me.

  “Where are you taking her? I thought Mr. Drazen wanted to question her.” The agent looks suspicious.

  “He already did. I’m supposed to get her cleaned up. He needs her for some damage control. She is going to be a good little girl and help us or else!” He says, jerking on me. I slump my head down. The agent nods and moves out of our way. We continue walking until the agent disappears into a room. Boots releases me and we take off running again. He starts to go a certain way, but I jerk on his arm, gesturing to another direction. He gives me a questioning look.

  “I know this building like the back of my hand. I grew up here, remember, come on,” I whisper. He nods and we take off.

  I open a door that leads to a staircase. Very few know about this route. The Organization was built underground. There are so many escape routes that were designed in case the United States was under attack. The highest officials, including the President would be safe from even a nuclear strike down here. Lucky for me, this was my playground. I would tag along with my father and when I was bored, I explored. Let’s just say, I got lost quite a bit, to the annoyance of my father.

  We continue climbing the staircase and come to a landing with the letter X on the door. I push the door open and enter a large room. There is a long table with chairs on either side. On the far wall is a large television screen. The seal of the President is on the chair opposite of the television.

  “Holy shit, this is….” Boots starts to say, but I just keep going to the door beside the television.

  “Yep, super cool and important, but let’s go!” I say, not impressed by the secret room that very few people have seen. We exit the room and find ourselves rushing through more concrete tunnels. I try to remember which direction to take when they branch off. Finally, we come to a door that I remember. I jerk it open and immediately start for the staircase. We run up two flights of stairs before we reach the door at the top. I open it slowly, then glance around inside. We are in an office building a few blocks away from the White House. The office must be closed. No one is around and the office is dark. We make our way through the building and quietly exit through a side door. When we find ourselves in an alley, we take a moment to breathe. Boots starts texting on his phone.

  “What are you doing?” I ask. I know the guy saved me and all, but I have lost my trust in people. Jackson of all people betrayed me. Don’t go there Carter….

  “Getting us out of here. Come on, this way.” I follow him out of the alley, the streets are busy with night life. We keep walking for about ten minutes. I must look awful from the looks I’m receiving from people and the glares that Boots is getting.

  As we come to a stoplight a car suddenly comes to a screeching halt in front of us. I start to turn, but Boots grabs my arm and shoves me towards the car. The car door opens, and Boots pushes me into the car, shoving me into someone as he climbs in behind me.

  “Hi honey, miss me?”

  I could cry at the sound of his voice. Thank you, God! I grab Charlie and hang on for dear life. He holds me tight. We don’t say anything for a few seconds.

  “Hey what about me?” Jules! Tears rush into my eyes.

  “Oh my god…I… I… was…” I cannot even begin to express my feelings right now. I look up and meet the eyes of Julia. I see that Logan is driving the car. I’m just so thankful they are okay.

  “Hey, Carter, it’s okay…we are okay.” Logan says with emotion, glancing back and forth between driving and me. Boots pats my knee. I look at Charlie and he puts his forehead to mine. Boots gives out cough. Charlie pulls away but grabs my hand. I turn to look at Boots.

  “Thank you. Thank you so much,” I tell him sincerely.

  “Your welcome, but I’m not the only one you need to thank.” I look at him in confusion. He just gives me a knowing smile.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Time will tell.” Cryptic much? I’ll get back to him soon, right now I’m exhausted. I lean into Charlie and close my eyes. I don’t even care where we go, I’m just so relieved to see them. I put my trust in them to get us to safety.

  Charlie rubs my arm and I start to drift off. I’m so exhausted that I don’t even want to question anything. Boots coughs again and Charlie stops rubbing my arm. I glance over and Boots is staring Charlie down. I sit up straight out of Charlie’s hold.

  “What the hell is going on?” I ask Boots.

  “Nothing. Just relax.” Boots replies.

  “You’re so weird.” I mutter. It’s the best comeback I can come up with at the moment. I snuggle up against Charlie again. I fall asleep to the sounds of Julia helping Logan with the GPS. I don’t even care where we go, I’m so tired….

  “We’re here!” Julia says loudly. I groan as Charlie nudges me. I pull myself up and wipe the drool from my mouth.

  I mutter a “sorry” to Charlie. He just starts chuckling.

  “You’re not the first girl to drool over me.” He says, raising his eyebrows. I roll my eyes at him. He just laughs. I look outside as the others are getting out of the car. We are in the Blue Ridge Mountains. There is a large beautiful cabin set against breathtaking scenery.

  “Another safe house?” I ask. Charlie nods and starts to help me out of the car. I watch as Boots heads into the cabin to check through it.

  “Yeah, I found this location in the briefcase and as far as I know, the Organization has never heard of it.”

  I take a deep breath of crisp air. The mountains are truly beautiful. I could live here forever. It’s so quiet and peaceful. Something I definitely need. I take a moment to reflect on all the craziness. My life used to be so simple compared to what I’m dealing with now. I don’t know if I can do this any longer. But there isn’t a choice. This is my life, and these are my people. I have to protect them and see this through until the end.

  “Hey, you okay?” I glance over at Charlie. I notice that Logan and Julia are grabbing bags from the trunk. I nod and give him a reassuring smile. I think he can tell it isn’t genuine, but he lets it go. I join Logan and Julia. Julia hands me my bag. I look at her questioningly. I thought everything was still at the other house.

  “We have a lot to talk about.” She says with a sad smile. I agree, but damn, I’m tired. We head into the cabin and I’m falling completely in love with this place already. It’s beautiful. It is basically an expensive looking hunting lodge. It has an open concept with beautiful vaulted ceilings, a massive stone fireplace with extremely comfortable looking sofas placed around it, and a kitchen that should grace a magazine. The dead animals on the wall kind of freak me out a little, but other than that, this place is perfection!

  “Wow.” I hear Logan whisper. Boots joins us from a back room.

  “Dibs on the best room!” Julia exclaims racing up the spiral staircase. We watch as she disappears around the second-floor landing. Logan slowly follows behind, turning to give us a wink. I roll my eyes knowing where his mind is. I guess we won’t be seeing them for a while.

  “You rooming with me?” Boots asks me with a wink. I shove him, but he just laughs. Charlie let’s out a cough and gives Boots a pointed look. What the hell is going on with them? Boots rolls his eyes.

  “Okay, I know there is a lot I need to know. But right now, I feel absolutely disgusting so I’m going to eat some food, take a shower, and take a nap. So please leave me alone, unless it’s a life or death situation. I need to regroup before I deal with anymore shit thrown my way.” I think I made my point because neither of them argues with me.

  I make my way to the kitchen and investigate the cabinets. I’m disappointed by what I see. There is only a few cans of soup and canned vegetables in there. I reach back and f
ind a box of crackers that are probably stale, but I really don’t care at this point. I grab the box and grab my bag on my way up the stairs. The guys are speaking in hushed tones, but I make out Jackson’s name. Shit, I was just getting numb to the situation and then bam, those asshats had to mention his name. Forget, Carter, you need to forget for just a little while. I can’t feel the pain of losing him just yet. I’m not ready to go there.

  I make my way down a hallway, searching through the rooms until I find the perfect one. I’m assuming by the closed door at the end, that Julia and Logan took the master suite. Fine by me. This place is amazing. Every room has its own bathroom. I finally find one that has a great view. I throw my bag down on the sleigh bed. I turn the hot water on in the bath tub. Thank god the plumbing and electricity seemed to be working. I must say, my father made sure his safe houses were in pristine condition. I wipe the dried blood from my busted lip. I can tell I’m going to have some nice bruises on my temple and cheekbone. Finally, I sink down into the hot water and let my muscles relax. I soak for what seems like hours, munching on stale crackers. My eyes keep drifting shut. I hear voices in the hallway, and I realize I should probably get out before I drown. I get myself into some sweats and a t-shirt. I crash onto the bed and the last thing I think of is don’t let me dream of him….

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Surprisingly, I slept well, except for a weird dream where Jackson was in the bedroom, holding my hand, apologizing. I woke in the morning, feeling a little drained, but nothing that coffee and some pain relievers couldn’t cure. I take my time getting dressed and finally decide it’s time to join the living. As I make my way down the staircase, the smell of bacon and coffee greets me. I hear the others chattering and the sounds of pots and pans clashing.

  “Is there some for me?” I ask, already smiling. Julia and Logan are in the kitchen, working around each other.

  “Well, well, sleeping beauty finally awakes.” Charlie says. Boots is fiddling with the remote that goes to the big screen on top of the fireplace.

  “Yes, well, sorry, I really meant to just take a nap.” I say, grabbing a mug. Julia places a hand on my shoulder.

  “We know, but we also knew you needed sleep.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” She squeezes my shoulder and Logan hands me a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast.

  “Dang, where did all the food come from?” Everyone pauses, but then awkwardly starts talking again, ignoring my question.

  “Okay, what the hell is going on?” Boots comes to stand beside me.

  “Patience, grasshopper, in due time.” He says. I roll my eyes in exasperation.

  “Jules?” I ask, searching her face. Guilt. That’s what I see.

  “Carter, I…”

  “She can’t tell you and don’t be mad. We need to talk, but right now, eat and then we can powwow.” Boots says. I do as he says, but inside I’m fuming. What the hell are they keeping from me? I drink two cups of coffee and eat two helpings of breakfast. Finally, when everyone is finished, I jump right in.

  “Okay, first off, where is the briefcase?” I ask Charlie.

  “Right where I put it. In the safe. It is secure, I swear.”

  “Alright. I need copies made of everything in the briefcase. I need the documents that my father gathered that show that Kilson ordered the extra missions and all the evidence of his treasonous activities. I need to get them to the higher ups. I’m not sure who I can trust, but I’m done waiting and playing this game. I want this over. Kilson is going to pay. I’m done playing with him. It’s now or never.”

  “Hold up.” Boots says with his hands up in the air.

  “It’s not that simple, Sparks. It’s a who said it first kind of deal. Your uncle got there first with that story.” I huff a little, “now, calm down and listen. I totally get you are ready to go in with guns blazing, but we need to be smart about this.” I don’t like how Boots is patronizing me. I’m used to being the one that calls the shots. I look over at the others and see that they are watching me.

  “What the hell guys? When did we let him take over?” I know it sounds like jealousy…. Oh well, what the hell, it is jealousy. How could they let him call the shots? I know he is older and has more experience with the Organization, but we have Charlie for that. I look at Charlie, hoping for some support.

  “Listen, princess, he has a point. You need to hear him out. Let him finish.” That comment from Charlie deflates my anger. I see Julia and Logan nodding. I know this must be hard for Logan too. Logan was supposed to be our team leader when we were part of the Organization. I took over when we went rogue. After me, Charlie was next in line. Now, Boots? I guess Logan never got a chance. That chance was blown when he joined my cause.

  “Okay, I’m listening.” I reply.

  “So, we are going to do what you said about making the copies and all, but the thing is we need a lot more to nail your uncle. We need a confession and solid proof that he is a traitor.” Boots states. I get it, I really do. But how?

  “We are in the process of putting a bug on his phones, in his rooms, his office, anywhere that he feels comfortable talking freely.” Charlie explains.

  “So how are we going to do that without being caught?” Charlie and Boots exchange glances.

  “Well, I can do a few things from here, but we also have someone working with us.” Charlie hesitates.

  “Besides, I placed a few before I rescued you.” Boots jumps in.

  “Who is working with us?” They shake their heads.

  “Is it Jackson?” I try to keep the hope from my voice.

  “We can’t say, it could jeopardize everything.”

  “I think I have a right to know.”

  “She’s right.” I hear a voice that tears through me. I slowly turn towards the new arrival. Jackson is standing there. Pain slices through me. He is so gorgeous. He looks like a sexy rumpled mess. His eyes, oh my god, his beautiful eyes are staring hard at me. I see the remorse. I can’t…. Damn, my emotions…. I don’t know whether to punch him in the face or kiss him. Do I love him or hate him? Love definitely love even though I should hate him. I can’t look at him.

  “Dude, this wasn’t the plan….” Boots says, shaking his head.

  “I couldn’t stay away…. Carter, look at me.” I don’t. “Carter, please, I had to do it…. I was on camera the whole time. It was all planned to help you. I had Boots rescue you so I could stay and be the inside guy.” I glance at Charlie. He nods his head, showing me, it was true.

  “So, capturing me was part of the plan?” I ask. He nods.

  “I had to do something. Your uncle was getting suspicious. I knew I could get you out. I warned everyone to stay away from the house. It was all planned.”

  “Was sleeping with me, part of the plan?” I blurt out. Charlie flinches.

  “No, that was not part of the plan, that was purely us. Everything I have ever said when it was just us, is true. I love you. Please Carter, I’m not lying. Please trust me.”

  “Okay, I totally understand you have personal shit to deal with, but we really need to get this plan going.” Boots interjects. I nail Jackson with a death glare. He just stares back. I can’t decipher his emotions. Is he telling the truth or is this another trick?

  “Take me in.” I say to Jackson.

  “What, no….”

  “It’s the only way. My uncle knows I know the truth. He will brag about it to me. What I need is his confession to working with the Russians especially Alexander and all the other stuff. Charlie, we should be able to get that from phone calls and meetings. Jackson, if you are with us, you need to plant the bugs that Boots couldn’t get too. Logan, I need you to be ready to get us out of any situation. Think of every scenario possible. Boots, I need you to back us up. You are compromised for helping me escape, but we need man power too. Julia, I know this will be hard, but I need you to get in touch with your father. I know your mom is working for Kilson, but what about your dad? If he seems legitimate, being the
Head of the Secret Service, he is the closest contact to get in touch with the higher ups, including the President. I have to get all this information to the President.”

  Everyone is staring at me. Julia starts to smile.

  “There she is. Our leader.” Julia says, pulling me into a hug.

  “Okay, team let’s get moving.” Charlie says. He already heads to a room off the kitchen. I assume that’s where all the computers are set up now. Logan and Julia sit down on the sofa. Logan hands her a burner phone. He holds her hand as she dials her father’s phone number. Boots puts the plates from breakfast in the sink and gives Jackson and I a look.

  “Figure your shit out. But, Carter, for what it’s worth, he is telling the truth.” With that he heads into the office with Charlie.

  “Carter…” God, his voice still sends shivers down my back. I turn from him and walk out the front door. I walk around the house to stare out at the breathtaking wilderness view. I just need to catch my breath. I hear his footsteps coming up behind me.

  “Do you know that I have loved you since I was a little girl. I thought you were amazing. My knight in shining armor, my prince that would save me from the evil dragons. I always believed in a fairytale ending. Even with Brooklyn in the picture, I naively thought that it would all work out and you would end up with me. I was a stupid girl. I truly thought deep down that my life would go as I had planned it. Then all this happened, and my faith was collapsing with everything else around me. I understand why you did everything, I really do. I just… it’s been too much. This rollercoaster, who to trust…. I don’t know, Jackson, I just don’t.”

  “Carter, I know at first, I was not there for you like I should have been. I made a mistake. I have tried to prove to you and help you as much as I could. I hated myself for hurting you, not only physically, but emotionally. I know that Charlie is probably the better man for you. But I love you so much it hurts. I won’t let you go without a fight. I have always loved you. You are my everything. I want to be your knight, your prince, please let me help you.” I can hear the sincerity in his voice. I turn to look at him. Our eyes meet and I know that this is the Jackson I have always wanted and needed.