Julia Jones - The Teenage Years: Book 1- Falling Apart - A book for teenage girls

by Katrina Kahler

interrupted by the gentle touch of a hand on my shoulder. Whipping around ready to fend off the unwanted attention, I came face to face with Blake, his piercing blue eyes staring into my own.

  “Is it ok if I sit here?' he asked quietly.

  Without acknowledging him, I turned back and concentrated on the scene in front of me. I had to find something to focus on; anything but the person beside me at that moment in time.

  Glancing around at my surroundings, I took in the beautiful garden at the foot of the stairs, neatly landscaped with a multitude of leafy plants and large flowering shrubs. If ever I had my own place, I would love to have a garden just like that. The thought flashed through my mind as I tried my hardest to pretend that I was alone.

  He touched my arm then; ever so lightly. Just a simple gesture, innocent really. But the hidden meaning was so very clear.

  Ignoring him, I looked in the opposite direction.

  “Can we talk, Julia? I really need to talk to you.”

  I refused to answer. I could not respond. I simply did not trust myself to speak.

  “Please, Julia?”

  The pleading in his tone, forced me to turn my head, but instantly I wished I hadn’t.

  Those eyes, so blue and so familiar, staring intensely into mine; I was powerless to look away.

  “I still love you, Julia!”

  My gasp was involuntary, but full of shock and anguish at hearing the words I had so longed to hear. How could this be happening? Deep inside, I knew it was wrong. I stood, eager to escape his presence. I just couldn't be around him. I had to leave.

  Racing through the garden towards the street, I frantically searched the darkness. I needed a place to go, somewhere to hide. But his hand, a sudden firm grip on my arm, stopped me from going further. And when I turned to look at him, the expression in his eyes, those penetrating blue eyes that I had once so desperately adored, forced me again to remain still; it was almost trance like, hypnotic, as if moving from that very spot was beyond my control.

  Then, as if in a dream, his lips were on mine. And when he gripped me close, I shivered in response. The current passing through me was electric. And I knew that if I were to be struck by lightning right then, it would feel exactly the same way.

  I lingered for a moment, just an irresistible moment to savor the wonderful sensation that was coursing through me, right through to my inner core.

  Until realization hit. It was abrupt and intense but it jolted me instantly to my senses. This was wrong. This shouldn’t be happening! I had to get away.

  Breaking free, I raced to the darkened street, just as my mother’s car pulled into the kerb.

  Daring to risk a look behind me, I spotted Sara, standing at the top of the stairs. Her gaze followed mine as I glanced once more towards Blake and then hastily opened the car door so I could escape into its safe interior, away from her menacing stare.

  Had she seen our embrace? Had she seen Blake kiss me? Shivering with apprehension, I forced myself to focus on the road ahead. “Do not look back, Julia. Whatever you do, do not look back!”

  Switching off from my mother’s incessant chatter and curious questions about the party, from which we could hear music still blasting loudly as we drove away, I turned my head and looked out the car window into the blackness beyond.

  As I stared at my reflection, the despair clear on my face, I thought of the scene I had just left behind.

  And I was consumed with a sensation of dread.

  Unexpected…

  He kissed me again. It was ever so tender and then he pulled me close. I was powerless to resist. This time, I was not going to break away. The feel of his muscular body within my grasp sent shivers of delight right through to the innermost part of me. The part that forces ones’ stomach to drop with the absolute thrill of it all. And as I felt his strong hands gently stroking the curve of my back, I was in heaven, and wished I could contain that very moment. A treasure to replay and enjoy until the end of eternity.

  Then I opened my eyes. And within a flash, the dream was whisked away.

  Desperately wanting to return to that blissful state, I closed my eyes once more. It had been such an incredible dream, so intense, so real. I wanted to recapture it, to go back to that magical moment. But it was no use. The dream was gone and I was forced to confront the scene around me. It did not include Blake and it certainly did not include his embrace.

  It was a miserable day, gray and cold. Rain and wind lashed against my window as the unpruned tree branches noisily scraped the corrugated rooftop. Sighing with disgust, I lay there, staring into the dimness of the day outside. But eventually, I took comfort in the fact that at least it was Sunday and I did not have to go to school.

  Reaching a hand to my lips, I recalled his kiss. Not the one from my dream, but the real kiss, the one he had given me just the previous night. My heart had melted at his touch and for a split second I had remained, my eyes closed, to enjoy the wonder of that moment. But then reality had crashed through my senses like a freight train, unstoppable and dangerous. And I’d had to escape.

  He belonged to Sara now. And I was determined never to be a cheater by luring away the boyfriend or partner of another. I knew it happened regularly and the offenders, the ones at fault, usually didn’t care. They had no regard for the feelings they would crush and the devastation their choice would cause.

  I had once vowed that I would never be like them. And I knew that I could not live with myself if I broke that promise.

  There was another factor though. And I acknowledged that I’d be lying if I didn’t admit my pride had managed to get in the way. He’d chosen to be with her; the arch-enemy of my past. The one person who had made me so miserable for so long! Recollections of the tormented days and I nights I had suffered from Sara’s abuse were still fresh in my mind and I could not let that go.

  Anyone but her!!!

  How could he ever have stooped so low?

  Thoughts of Sara’s evil stare the night before as I’d fled the scene, came quickly to mind. Had she seen us? Did she know?

  I prayed for the answer to be no. But the sinking feeling in my stomach belied my suspicion that it could be otherwise.

  Avoidance! That would have to be my tactic in future. Whenever I saw him, I would just have to walk the other way. Surely he will then understand that it’s the way it has to be. And the only person he has to blame is himself!

  As long as I don’t show any interest, Sara should be fine. I tried to convince myself that it would all be okay.

  But why was I still so miserable? Why did I still feel such a sense of loss?

  Millie always used to say that the best way to get over someone was to replace them with someone else. Maybe that was the key?

  I knew that it worked for my brother. I thought about his last girlfriend, who had dumped him unexpectedly. Matt had been devastated. I’d never seen him that heartbroken and I had felt so sorry for him. I never thought he’d get over it.

  And then, less than a week later, he’d come home beaming.

  “Why are you so happy?” I remember asking him.

  “Oh, there’s this really hot girl at school!” he explained. “I can’t understand why I’ve never really noticed her before! I think I’ll ask her out!”

  I actually stared at him, in total disbelief.

  “What???” he asked. “What’s the problem?”

  I simply rolled my eyes and shook my head. Words could not describe right then, my inability to fathom how boys’ minds worked. And I still didn’t think that I could mimic his behaviour. It just wasn’t possible.

  Just then, the smell of breakfast cooking wafted under my door and interrupted my thoughts. Abruptly, visions of my brother and his fickle attitude disappeared from my mind as I realized how hungry I was, especially after missing dinner the evening before. Food! Maybe that would help take my mind off my situation. And I hopped out of bed and padded down the carpeted stairs to the kitchen.

  Sunda
ys were traditionally Pancake Day for our family. Dad was the master chef in our household and his pancakes were to die for! I hadn’t ever tasted any that were better than his. Thinking of him, I reminded myself to give him a call as soon as we’d finished eating. I missed him so much. He was the easy-going parent of the two and along with being a great cook, he also had a fantastic sense of humor. Even my friends laughed at his lame jokes. I think it was the manner in which he told them. People couldn’t help but laugh. He could be such a funny man!

  Striding into the kitchen, my stomach grumbling loudly, I was rapidly stopped short by the sight of the unwanted but familiar figure parked on a stool at our kitchen bench. His back was towards me, but the relaxed and comfortable manner in which he sat completely at ease in my mom’s company while she cooked our breakfast, just made me angry.

  Moments before, I’d been thinking of my dad and wondering what he was actually doing right at that very point in time. Then, totally unexpectedly, there he was, Mom’s new friend sitting on Dad’s favorite stool as she flipped pancakes on the stove.

  I was still glaring, speechless, when Mom looked up, realizing that I was standing there. And that was when he turned around.

  “Hi, Julia! How are you today?” I think the unfriendly stare that Barry was faced with forced him to explain. “I left some of my tools here the other day and because I was in the neighborhood this morning, I thought I’d drop in and grab them. But your Mom insisted that I stay for