Stained Hearts

by Parker Williams

  The conversation was getting too deep. While I had no problems being friends with Aiden, listening to him talk, hearing his voice crack, and seeing the pain in his eyes made me want to stand between him and the world.

  “I should really go.” I got up and started for the door, but then something took hold of me, and I glanced over my shoulder. “You’ve got my number if you ever need to, you know, talk or something.”

  “Really?” He sounded so grateful. “I might take you up on that, then. Have a good night, Tom.”

  Warmth blossomed in my chest as I left the building, and damned if it didn’t last all the way home.

  “TODAY I cut the last few pieces of glass. I know it’s taken longer than I said, but I should have it done in a couple of weeks.”

  Why did that make me sad? Aiden and I had talked pretty much every day since I told him it was okay to call me, and we’d fallen into a routine. For the last six weeks, after Olivia left for work or if she’d gone out, he was on the phone with me, talking about the project. Then he’d segue into talking about Noel and Lincoln, then back to Olivia and how he loved her but she was driving him nuts. He never seemed to run out of things to say, and I hung on to every word.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m not in a hurry. Take as much time as you need.”

  Aiden sighed. “Do I talk too much?”

  Wait. What? “Where’d that come from?”

  “My phone shows I’ve been talking to you for two hours. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do. Aren’t you at work now?”

  Ah, we hadn’t discussed my “job.”

  “I’m retired.”

  “Huh? Aren’t you a little young to be retired?”

  At least he hadn’t said what so many others did. You don’t look that old!

  “I worked as a sales rep for Northwestern Mutual from the time I was eighteen. After twenty years, I’d amassed enough capital to retire. I get a good pension and live a comfortable life.”

  “Oh.” I could see him nibbling his lip. “I’m sorry.”

  Okay, I wasn’t expecting that. “Sorry for what?”

  “Being nosy. Olivia’s always telling me I need a filter from brain to mouth. I tend to blurt out what I’m thinking, consequences be damned.”

  And I liked that about him. He was… I didn’t even know how to say it. Vibrant. And when we talked, everything seemed a little bit brighter. I was going to miss it once the project was done.

  “Seriously, I don’t want you to filter yourself. It’s been a while since I’ve enjoyed a conversation with a friend.”

  “Oh.” Disappointment dripped from his words. “Yeah, I like talking to you too.”

  But it didn’t sound like that. “Have I upset you?”

  “Me? No, absolutely not. You know me. Just a flighty kid.” He drew in a shuddering breath. “I should go. I need to get these last pieces fitted so I can solder them in. I’ll give you a call at the end of the week, and we can figure out how to get it to your house so it can be installed. Have a good night.”

  And before I could say anything, he hung up.

  I sat there staring at the phone, wondering what the hell I’d done. I set the phone on the arm of the chair and replayed the conversation in my head, dissecting it every way I could think of, but nothing explained why Aiden had turned ice-cold after we were having a good talk. Maybe I needed a fresh perspective. I dialed the shelter, wanting to talk with Robert.

  “Tenth Street Shelter. This is Galen. How can I help you?”

  “Hey, Galen. It’s Tom. Is Robert around?”

  “No, I’m sorry. He’s out with Brady, getting him signed up for some classes. Brady took the job of office manager, and we’re paying for him to take some classes, then working here so he can learn the system.”

  “Oh, that’s great. Okay, I guess I’ll talk to him later, then.”

  “Tom? Is there something I can help you with?”

  He sounded eager, and I did need to talk with someone. “Maybe? I’m not sure.” So I relayed the conversation I’d had with Aiden and how abruptly it ended. “So, why do you think he sounded upset?”

  A few clicks on the line, and then Galen came back. “Honestly? It sounds like he thinks there might be something more than friendship there. You did say he talks to you for hours, right?”

  “Well… yeah, but….” I hadn’t led him on. “Why would he think that?”

  Galen chuckled. “Let’s see. Who sits on the phone and listens for two hours while someone else talks? Who praises people for what they’re doing? It sounds to me like Aiden might have some serious hero worship going on. He was probably hurt when you said he was your friend.”

  “Oh, come on. That’s ridiculous.” Wasn’t it?

  Galen hummed. “Maybe. Maybe not. It’s how it sounds to me, but I could be way off base. When Olivia worked for me, she said that Aiden was shy and had problems talking to people. You let him open up to you, so naturally he’s going to latch on.”

  Holy hell, I was leading him on. I groaned and scrubbed a hand over my face. “Shit. I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

  “Oh, I’m sure you didn’t.” Galen was quiet for a second. “Let me ask you something, and you can think about it as much as you need. When you guys talked on the phone, what did you get out of it?”

  “I don’t know that I understand the question.”

  “He’s twentysomething, right?”

  “Yeah.” I wasn’t sure I liked where this was leading. “What of it?”

  “Nothing. Just seems to me the two of you wouldn’t have much in common. So why do you sit on the phone for hours at a time?”

  I think the more important question was why I always had an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach when we had to hang up. Talking with Aiden had become the highlight of my day. There was nothing like sitting outside, a glass of lemonade beside me, listening as he told me about his day, how the project was progressing, how Noel had befriended him at school.

  And for everything he told me, I wanted to know more.

  “He makes me smile.” God, that sounded pathetic. “He’s so full of life, and I enjoy being able to talk to him.”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  I pulled the phone away from my ear and squinted at it, even though Galen couldn’t see me. “Mm-hmm what?”

  “Oh, nothing. I’m just… thinking.”

  My bullshit detector was going crazy. “Don’t tell me that. What are you humming about?”

  Galen pitched his voice low, probably because there were usually people around. “He makes you happy.”

  “Well, yeah, he…. Wait.” His implications were altogether too clear now. “No, it’s not like that. He’s a friend.”

  “Okay, if you say so.” There wasn’t a note of contrition in his voice. Then he said the weirdest thing. “Being happy isn’t bad, you know.”

  “I am happy. I’m adjusting to life again as a single man, and I’m finding my center.” Wow, that sounded like New Age crap. “I’m not ready to be involved with anyone.”

  “Oh no. Of course not. He’s just a friend, like you said.”

  There was mirth in his voice, and I hated it. “I’m… I’m telling Robert on you.”

  Yup, real mature. It was worse when Galen cracked up.

  “Do you want me to have him call you when he gets back?”

  Oh hell no. Galen would have Robert’s head so full of lies, I’d end up having to kill them both.

  “Nah, that’s okay. Don’t bother telling him I called.”

  Even as I said it, I knew there was a snowball’s chance in hell that Galen would listen.

  I was so screwed.

  Chapter Six

  “SO, TELL me about Aiden.”

  Galen was lucky he hadn’t arrived to dinner at our parents’ house, because I would have taken him out back and tied him to the tree. It started when Robert called, claiming he wanted to check in on me. When he started hinting about Aiden, I hung up on him. Twice.

  Th
en Mom called and said we were having Sunday dinner and I had to be there. Like an idiot, I agreed because she offered homemade blueberry pie and vanilla ice cream for dessert. I loved her pies, and she damned well knew it.

  “There’s nothing to tell.”

  And there wasn’t. He hadn’t called me since that day, and when I tried to call him, he didn’t answer. The worst thing about it was that I was letting myself get twisted up in knots over it. I’d left probably a dozen voicemail messages asking him to call me, and by the end, I was just asking him to let me know he was all right.

  Finally, in desperation, I tracked down Olivia, who told me Aiden was fine. I breathed a sigh of relief because I was so happy to hear that.

  Then she threw in the zinger.

  “Look, I don’t know what happened—Aiden won’t tell me—and I won’t deny I’m worried. He’s… fragile.”

  I snorted because there was nothing fragile about that kid. He had a set of brass balls three times bigger than most guys’.

  “I don’t mean his body. I mean his heart.” She sighed. “He’ll be pissed if he knows we talked, but he likes you. And I don’t mean as a customer. You’re the first person in a long time to make him feel like he’s not broken. You cared enough to listen to him, and he needed that. He talked about you constantly, and I was worried he’d get his heart broken at some point.”

  “But I—”

  “Not saying you’d do it intentionally. It’s just…. How can I put this? Aiden’s never had a boyfriend. He’s never even had sex, as far as I know. He’s wanted someone who would see him and care for him, and he thought maybe that person might be you. It’s totally okay if you don’t feel the same way, but maybe give him some space. His emotions are a jumble right now, and he’s not sure which end is up. He’s been working night and day to get your project done. And I mean that in the literal way. When I get up in the morning, I find him in the same spot he was in when I went to bed. He’s had it nearly done a few times, then had to redo sections because they weren’t right, according to him. He’s taking longer than normal because he wants to make your glass something special. He’s not happy with it because it’s not perfect and it has to be because once he gives it to you, he knows he won’t see you again.”

  And holy shit, that thought hurt.

  “Tom? Where are you?”

  Mom’s strident voice jerked me back to the present. “Sorry, I was thinking.”

  She put her hand on my arm. “Are you okay?”

  Was I? To be honest, I wasn’t sure anymore. Aiden occupied my thoughts pretty regularly now. There was a dull ache in my chest every day because he hadn’t called. I hadn’t wanted to examine my feelings too closely, but now how could I not?

  I pasted on a smile. “I’m fine. How about you?”

  She frowned. “You’re not fine. Do you want to talk about it?”

  “No, I—”

  “Good, so do I.” She took my hand and led me to the backyard, where we sat under the big sawtooth oak Dad had planted on their wedding day. It was maybe twenty feet tall and had provided Robert and me places to climb when we were kids. Now it gave shade and shelter to me and Mom.

  “Okay, what’s on your mind?”

  I bit back a sigh. There was no way I was getting out of this conversation. “I’m sure Galen’s filled you in already.”

  “It might surprise you, but Galen didn’t say anything.”

  Okay, that did surprise me. “Really?”

  She laughed and waved a hand at me. “Hell no. He was on the phone thirty seconds after you talked.” Then she sobered. “But, and you need to keep this in mind, he was calling because you sounded unhappy and he didn’t like it.” She took my hand. “You might not believe it, but Galen cares for you too.”

  I knew he did. After all the shit with his father, not to mention his own attempts to reconnect with Lincoln and Noel, Galen was a completely different person than the backstabbing ass I’d heard about. He was gentler, more caring. Robert was constantly telling us about Galen and the stories he’d tell to the kids at the shelter. They adored him, Robert said. And, Robert said, one girl in particular, Cassie, told him every day how much she loved him, and how Galen always melted when she did.

  “I know he does.”

  “He’s right too. You do seem unhappy.”

  I shrugged a shoulder. “I’m okay, I guess.”

  “Yeah, that right there tells me you’re not. Now, we can sit here and I won’t be able to finish making the pie or the ice cream, or you can tell me what’s wrong. If we cut through the crap now, you’ll get your dessert.”

  Damn it, the woman played dirty.

  “It’s Aiden. When we met him at the diner, he showed me the stained-glass windows he sells. I found one design that I liked and ordered it from him. Somehow we became friends. Or at least I thought we did. Now I’m thinking Aiden believed there was something more between us and I hurt his feelings when I told him there wasn’t.”

  “Hm.”

  I tried to pull away, but the woman had a grip of iron. “Oh my God. Galen did the same thing. What is it this time?”

  She squeezed my arm. “Nothing. It’s just…. Why are you so upset about it?”

  That was a question I’d been asking myself the past two weeks.

  “He’s…. He’s a good guy, Mom. I don’t like the idea that I’ve hurt him. It gnaws at me and makes me think how I used to be a better person.”

  “Okay, that’s the last time I want to hear you say something so stupid.” She shifted over until she was right next to me. “You’ve always been a good guy, Tom. You and Robert? The phrase ‘pride and joy’ was invented because of you two. Don’t think I don’t know about the anonymous donations you make to the shelter, and that’s on top of the money you give Robert outright.”

  “I don’t know what—”

  “Don’t lie. It’s beneath you.” She huffed out a breath. “Robert’s finally getting a handle on the finances of the shelter. He and Galen have been busting their asses to get it fixed up and operational. I know you were sending sizable donations in to help keep them afloat.”

  It was scary how well she knew me. “Well, don’t tell him that. Brian and I had a fund set up so we could send money that Robert wouldn’t know about. I love Robert, and seeing how he panicked over money bothered me.”

  “And that, my dear, is why you’re a good guy, and why you’re upset that Aiden isn’t talking to you. If you weren’t decent, you wouldn’t care. Unless….”

  I snapped my gaze in her direction. “Unless what?”

  “Do you think maybe there’s another reason it bothers you so much?”

  One thing about my mom was she was one of those annoyingly intuitive, eyes-in-the-back-of-her-head type of mothers. Robert and I learned early on that it did no good to lie to her, because she always—and I mean always—knew the truth, usually even before we did.

  I scrubbed a hand over my face and leaned back against the tree, looking into the high branches. Life had been so much simpler when I was a kid. Robert and I could climb the tree for hours and never have to worry about what was going on down on the ground. We were squirrels, darting among the branches, looking down on the poor earthbound humans. Then we had to go and grow up, where things like responsibility, compassion, love were all ideals we had to learn.

  And I did love. With my whole heart, until it was ripped away from me.

  “He’s so young. He’s got a whole life ahead of him. I know I’m trying to get on with my life, and I’m happier, but am I in a good enough place to have feelings for someone else?”

  “Let me ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me. Do you think your feelings give a damn what you want?”

  No, of course they didn’t. I knew that the first time I set my sights on Brian Chen. I’d fallen for him in the space of a week, and when I tried to tell myself to back off, I knew I couldn’t.

  “No.” There were so many other things to say. “He’s almost ha
lf my age, Mom.”

  She pushed up off the ground and stood over me. “He’s an adult who should be allowed to make up his own mind. If you’re not interested in him, well, that’s one thing, but if you are, then why not trust him to know what he wants?” She leaned over and ruffled my hair. “I’m going to go finish the pie. Come on in when you’re ready.”

  Now, if I thought that would be the end of the conversation, I would be wrong. Not two minutes after the door closed behind her, it opened again and Dad came out. He strode over to where I was sitting and stared down at me.

  “So this is the tag off? She’s said her piece, and now she’s turning you loose on me?”

  He chuckled. “Something like that.” He stood there another moment, then frowned. “Listen, can we go sit somewhere else? Not sure I can get back up if I sit on the ground. My knee’s been giving me problems lately.”

  I got up and followed him to the swing on the porch. He lowered himself onto it with a care I didn’t remember seeing before. I realized then how old my parents were getting.

  “Your mom gave me the abridged version. There’s a guy. You’re conflicted. Blah blah blah. But I want to hear your version.”

  I heaved a sigh. I wasn’t going to get out of it, so I might as well just barrel ahead. “There’s a guy. I’m conflicted. Blah blah blah.”

  He laughed, and the whole swing swayed. He reached out and put an arm around me. “Okay, then. Talk to me.”