Stained Hearts

by Parker Williams

  “His name is Aiden, and he’s doing a stained-glass window for me. He’s young, Dad. Really young.”

  “Sounds to me like you’re trying to find excuses not to face up to what you’re feeling.”

  I turned so I could look at him. “But what if I don’t know how I’m feeling? See, that’s the whole conflicted part.”

  “Then you spend some time together. As friends, of course. See where your feelings lead you.”

  “But Brian….”

  “Wanted this for you, and honestly, you need to stop using him as an excuse. You know how angry he’d be if you kept being alone and blaming him for it.”

  I wanted to be pissed. To jump up and scream at him that he didn’t know what the hell he was talking about. The truth, though? He was right. Not about me blaming Brian, because that wasn’t ever going to happen. I blamed myself for the whole thing. I was the one who encouraged Aiden to call and sat on the phone with him for hours. Maybe it was time to be honest.

  “I like him, Dad.”

  “You think I can’t tell? You’ve got this gleam in your eye when you talk about him, and no way would you be this tied up in knots if you didn’t. I know you said that you were ready to move on, but now that there’s a chance it could happen, you’re scared.”

  There were no words, so I just nodded. Then my Dad, the big old scary side of beef, put his arms around me and held me while I cried.

  ANOTHER WEEK went by, and I still hadn’t heard from Aiden. I spoke with Olivia once more, and she said he wasn’t talking to her either. In fact, she said when she tried to press him to tell her what was going on in his head, he practically bit hers off. She was at a loss and told me to try again. So, for the next several days I called and left messages, asking him to let me know if he was okay. He didn’t return them. Finally, in desperation, I decided to play a different card.

  “Aiden, it’s Tom. Again. Listen, if you’ve decided you don’t want to finish the window, I’ll understand. Please let me know, though, and I’ll stop calling.”

  Three hours later, still nothing. I had no clue which way to go, so I figured I’d go to the diner for something sweet to eat. I took a corner booth and waited while Tyler made a couple of hot fudge sundaes. Noel was off duty, so he sat with me while Lincoln took care of a group celebrating a birthday. At one point we all got up and sang for the ninety-year-old woman, and she waved at us when we were done.

  “Have you heard from Aiden at all?”

  Noel shook his head. “He hasn’t been in, and when I try to call, he won’t answer. Can I ask what happened?”

  So I laid it all out for him, and like a true friend, he sat there and listened intently. When I was done, he reached out and put a hand atop mine.

  “Don’t give up on him. Or yourself. Aiden’s been hurt a lot already, and now he’s probably afraid it’s going to happen again. He’s got to be confused and scared, and he has no clue what’s happening.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Noel sighed. “You know he’s never had a boyfriend, right?”

  “Yeah, Aiden told me that, and Olivia mentioned it as well.”

  “I don’t think she knows that once while we were in college, a guy asked him out. Aiden was thrilled, because he liked this guy. He told people they were going out on a real date.”

  “I don’t like the way this sounds.”

  “He didn’t tell Olivia he was going. He got on the bus, walker and all, to go to the theater. When he got there, he waited. And waited. And waited.”

  Bile burned in my throat. “The guy never showed?”

  “Oh, he did show, but he was with someone else. And there, in front of everyone, he told Aiden that there was no way in hell he would go out with someone crippled when he could have someone hot.”

  “What the fuck!”

  A spatula slammed in the kitchen, and my gaze snapped to Lincoln, who was giving me a very disapproving look. The birthday girl? She thought it was hilarious and chided her pearl-clutching friends to lighten up and stop being a bunch of old fogies. Then she turned to me and waggled her eyebrows. I liked her.

  Tyler brought over our sundaes and put them down on the table. “Can I get you anything else?”

  I was about to say no, but then I decided I did. “That birthday table? Give me their bill.”

  A frown marred Tyler’s cute face. “Why?”

  “Because I like the woman. She’s sassy.”

  He took the slip from his pocket and handed it to me. I gave Tyler my card and also wrote in a fifty-dollar tip for him. His eyes bugged when he saw it.

  “Thank you!” He dashed away to take care of it. A moment later he was back. I signed the receipts, then watched as he made a beeline for the other table. When he told the ladies their bill was covered, the birthday girl turned and gave me the sauciest wink I’ve ever seen. I chuckled. When Noel cleared his throat, I snapped my gaze back to him.

  “Sorry. So what happened?”

  Noel’s lips stretched out into a tight, thin line. “Aiden was mortified and humiliated. What made it worse was when the people around either laughed or looked at him with pity.”

  “So he thinks….” Fuck.

  “I can’t swear to it, but I’m guessing he’s thinking he made a fool of himself again. After that night at the movie, he called me and cried his eyes out. He kept asking if he was stupid, and no matter how many times I said no, it didn’t sink in. He retreated into himself for months after that. Whenever the guy he was supposed to go out with walked past him, he always winked at Aiden, which sent him into another tailspin.”

  I wanted to find that guy and tear his heart out through his asshole. No one should be treated that way, especially Aiden.

  “So he thinks I led him on.” Understandable, really.

  “Like I said, I don’t know for sure. He hasn’t talked to me either.” Noel took a bite of his sundae, then looked back at me. “He never told Olivia because he was embarrassed and knew she’d make a big deal about him taking the bus.”

  “She’s okay with him going out?”

  Noel gave a sharp nod. “She wants him to go out but doesn’t want him taking the bus. She wants to drive him everywhere. He keeps telling her he’s not that bad off, but she’s the overprotective sister.”

  Why, for just a heartbeat of time, was I jealous of Olivia? Why should she be the one to take care of Aiden? And then I pulled the reins on those thoughts. He didn’t know me, and I didn’t know him. Maybe that needed to change.

  And a plan began to form.

  Chapter Seven

  I GOT to the house a little before six. The place was dark, just as Olivia said it would be. When I’d talked with her earlier in the day, she explained that she was working late again and that Aiden would be home alone. After I laid out my plan, she gave a relieved sigh and wished me luck. She told me she was worried about him, especially when he wouldn’t talk to her.

  Well, with luck, he’d be talking to me tonight.

  I pushed the button on the call panel and waited. Tonight my patience was rewarded.

  “Who is it?”

  I pitched my voice as low as possible, not wanting him to recognize it and ignore me. “Delivery for Aiden Dawson.”

  The intercom clicked, but Aiden didn’t reply. I hoped to hell he’d open the door.

  “I’m not expecting anything.”

  Well, shit. “It’s a delivery from…. The label is smudged, and I can’t quite make out the name. It’s something glassworks.”

  “And you’re sure it says Aiden Dawson?”

  I chuckled. “I do know how to read.”

  “Oh, of course. I’m sorry. Uh…. Could you possibly bring it to the apartment? My sister’s not home, and I….”

  God, I hated the uncertainty in his voice.

  “Sure, no problem. I’ll be right there.” Then I had a thought. “Do you want me to leave it outside the door? It’s kind of heavy.”

  “What? Oh. Um, no. I’ll unlock it. If you
could just slide it inside, I would really appreciate it.”

  “Copy that.” God, could I sound like a bigger dork? “I’ll be there in a minute.”

  The door buzzed and I pulled it open. The box in my hand would, hopefully, buy me a few minutes to get him to listen to me.

  I rapped on the door, then pushed it open. “Delivery.”

  Then I stepped inside and closed it. A few moments went by, and I didn’t hear any movement in the apartment. Then the thump of Aiden’s walker sounded from down the hall. He came around the corner, and I cursed myself. His gait was more unsteady than normal, and his expression was pained.

  “Aiden.”

  His gaze snapped up, and he frowned. “Why are you here?”

  I held out one of the boxes. “I brought a peace offering. Thirty-seven different kinds of chocolate.” I pulled open the lid. “We have truffles, bars, toffee, and cocoa mix.”

  “I’m still working on your glass. I’ll have it delivered as soon as I can.” His voice was cold, distant, and I fucking hated it. He turned slowly, and I knew this was my last try before he slammed the proverbial door.

  “Would you have dinner with me?”

  He stopped but didn’t face me. “Why?”

  At least it wasn’t a get out. I moved closer. “Because I hurt your feelings, and I didn’t mean to. I…. There’s things about me you don’t know, and if you did, you might understand better.”

  That caught his attention. He gripped the handles of his walker and made a few steps before his legs seized and he toppled forward. I rushed over to him and scooped him up in my arms. Tears stained his cheeks.

  “Are you hurt? Do you need me to call Olivia?”

  “Why are you here?” He rubbed his hands over his legs, his expression one of agony. “Come to laugh at the crippled boy?”

  I carried him to the couch and sat him on it, then went into the kitchen for a glass of water. “Do you have any pain pills?”

  He refused to look in my direction.

  I grabbed his bicep. “Aiden! Damn it, don’t be stubborn. Do you have anything for the pain?”

  He nodded. “The nightstand in my bedroom.”

  I put the glass down in front of him, then rushed to the bedroom and found several bottles of pills. I wasn’t sure which it was, so I grabbed them all and carried them back. He held out his hands, and I put the pills there, then sat down beside him.

  “Do you need help?”

  He scowled. “I’m fine. You can go now.”

  If he thought I couldn’t see the pain he was in, he was sadly mistaken. I took out my phone and dialed Olivia’s number.

  “What? Hang up!”

  I ignored him, despite him reaching for the phone. When she answered, he cringed.

  “Don’t tell her. Please?”

  It was my turn not to listen. “Aiden’s hurting. I came over and found he’s in pain. He almost fell over with his walker.”

  “What the hell do you mean? Put him on the phone!”

  I held it out, and he gave me such a look of anger, I was surprised I didn’t burst into flames. He put the phone to his ear. “Hey, Livvy.”

  Whatever she was saying, it must have scared the shit out of him.

  “No! Don’t come home. I’m okay. I just overdid it today. Yes, I promise, I’m all right. I have my meds, and I’ll take those.” His gaze narrowed. “Just a minute.” He held out the phone. “She wants to talk to you.”

  Taking it from his hand, I put her on speaker. I didn’t want this to be a secret conversation.

  “I’m sorry to bother you, and I know I don’t have any right asking, but could you stay with Aiden until I can get home?”

  “What? No! I don’t need a babysitter.”

  “You listen to me, Aiden Charles Dawson. If you had told me you were hurting, I wouldn’t have gone to work. You know damn good and well you can’t keep things like this hidden. What would have happened if you’d fallen when I was out?”

  “I would have gotten back up!” There was such ferocity in his voice, and his eyes narrowed dangerously. “Despite what you all seem to think, I’m not fucking helpless.”

  “You watch your tone, young man.”

  “You’re my sister, not my mother!” His eyes popped open, and he leaned closer to the phone. “Oh, Livvy. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

  She snuffled. “I’m sorry. I get you’re an adult. I just… I worry about you.”

  “I know you do, and I love you for it. But I’m old enough to make bad decisions on my own.”

  “I’m always going to watch out for you. That’s what love means, you know.”

  “Yeah, I know.” He took a deep shuddering breath. “Don’t come home, okay? I’ll be fine. Tom will stay.” He looked up, his eyes pleading. “Won’t you?”

  “Yeah, I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Okay, thank you, Tom. I’ll try to get home as soon as I can.”

  She disconnected, and Aiden put the phone aside. He turned to me, no longer angry, but looking somewhat disappointed.

  “Why did you do that?”

  I reached for his hand. “Because I was worried, and you wouldn’t talk to me. I needed to know how to help you. I’m sorry if you think I overstepped, but I’ll be honest, I would do it again. I would rather you be angry with me, than in pain.”

  “Oh.” He bit his lip. “I thought you were just being a dick.”

  “I can’t say there wasn’t a little of that in there too.”

  His lip curled up as reached for a bottle of white pills. His hands shook when he tried to take the top off, so I reached out and took it from him.

  “How many?”

  “Just one, please.” He frowned. “Usually that takes care of it, but not today. I took two earlier, and it still hurts.”

  I shook the tiny tablet into my hand and held it out. He snatched it and popped it in his mouth, then swallowed. He reached for the water, drained the glass. I took it from him an put it back on the table.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  His eyes glistened. “So many things. Not calling you back. Thinking bad things about you. Treating you like dirt.”

  “Is that all?” I reached out and rubbed his arm. “Trust me. I’ve been treated bad by far better people.” I gave him a wink to let him know I was teasing.

  He smirked. “I really am sorry. It’s just… I don’t even know how to justify myself. I thought…. You know what? It doesn’t matter.”

  “It does to me. What did you think?”

  His eyes fluttered, and he yawned. “Sorry. The pills make me tired.”

  “Okay, we should get you to bed, then.”

  “No!” His cheeks pinked. “Can I stay out here with you?”

  His pleading tore at my heart. He was in a lot of pain, that was evident. I reached out and pulled him close to me, wrapping my arms around him. He stiffened for a moment before he relaxed into my embrace. We sat there quietly for a bit, Aiden’s head bobbing as he drifted off.

  “You smell good.”

  I chuckled. “Thanks.”

  “No, I mean it. I like your cologne.”

  He snuggled in closer, and I held him tighter.

  “Sleep, Aiden.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t want to. Can’t we talk?”

  I put my chin on top of his silky hair. “Sure. What do you want to talk about?”

  “I don’t know.” He yawned again, and his words came out slow and slurred. “Just tell me something.”

  “How about a story?”

  He nodded, his head lolling forward.

  “Once upon a time, there was a very strong young man named Aiden….”

  “Hey, that’s my name.” His voice was filled with sleep, and he slumped down, boneless.

  “It is. Anyway, Aiden thought he had to be strong for the world, but one day he met someone who wanted to take his pain away and make him happy.”

  He snored, a loud sound in such a sm
all room. I pulled him a little closer, smiling when he gave a tiny whimper. Having him close to me seemed so natural.

  “What have you done to me, Aiden?”

  He murmured something, but I couldn’t hear it. Whatever it was didn’t matter. Right now he needed me, and it seemed right.

  That was my last thought as I fell asleep, Aiden nestled in my arms.

  THE SNICK of a door opening pulled me awake. I turned toward the door and found Olivia standing there, smiling at us. Aiden was still snuggled in my arms, and he felt good.

  “Thanks for staying.”

  “It’s not a problem.”

  “You can go ahead home if you want. His pills put him out all night.”

  “He said he’d taken two before I got here.”

  She winced. “That means this one was bad.” She came around and sat on the arm of the couch. “I’ve told him he was working too hard, but he wouldn’t listen. He’s such a stubborn little shit.”

  “Strong-willed. It probably runs in the family.” I winked at her. “I’m sorry if the project was too stressful for him.”

  She shook her head. “Don’t be. He’s a perfectionist, and this one was hard for him because he was so afraid he’d disappoint you.”

  There was no way in hell that would happen. “I’ve seen his work. I don’t think it’s possible he could let anyone down.”

  “Oh no. He lets himself down quite often.” She reached out and brushed a few hairs off his forehead. “He wants so desperately to prove he doesn’t need anyone, but the truth is, he’s never going to get better. Oh, he’ll put on a good game face and say he’s fine, but when he thinks I’m not listening, I can hear him whimpering in his room. He hates his legs, he hates his pills, and he’s afraid he’s going to be alone forever because no one wants a burden.”

  I slid a hand up and stroked his head. He snuggled deeper into my embrace.

  “Look, I know I don’t have the right to tell you what to do, but please don’t hurt him. He’s had more than enough pain in his life to have another person sweep in and make him feel special, only to turn around and dump on him.”