Stained Hearts

by Parker Williams

  The girl smiled. “Our mommies will be happy to hear that!”

  And with those words, they scampered off to the next house.

  “Let’s get you set up before the next people get here.”

  He snickered. “I can’t wait.”

  In her blue uniform, Olivia looked every bit the hardened prison guard. I was the stern, but totally lovable, warden. Aiden’s costume looked better than I ever thought it could. The cloth fit over the wheelchair and looked a lot like an old wooden electric chair. As he sat there, I grabbed the molded plastic helmet that had been spray-painted silver to appear like a cap. My buddy Chris had drilled holes in it, and his brother, Gabe, ran a length of wire through it. The pièce de résistance was in a box on the floor, hidden out of sight. Aiden was going to flip when he found out what I’d done.

  “I’m still not sure about this.” Olivia chewed her nail. “I mean, we don’t want to scare anyone, right?”

  Aiden shook his head. “No, we don’t want to scare anyone.” His gaze slid to me. “We want to scare everyone! Loosen up, Livvy. It’s Halloween. People expect to be scared.”

  She didn’t seem to be with the plan, but that was okay. It was Aiden’s day, and he wanted to have fun with it, so fun we would be having.

  When raised voices caught our attention, he wheeled to the front of the porch. A group of kids, seven in all, strode down the sidewalk. When they stopped and stared at the house, a flush of pride went through me. Under Aiden’s direction, the house had been transformed into a true haunted manor. The plants out front were covered in spiderwebs, the windows had fake holes in them, and “blood” ran down the siding. We had black lights out front, which cast the whole thing in an eerie facade.

  “This house is cool!”

  The kids came up the walkway, and I readied the switch.

  “Trick or treat!”

  They all stood there, bags open, waiting to receive their gifts, when I hit it. Gabe had done his job to perfection, as a shower of sparks shot up out of the helmet into the sky. Aiden screamed, Olivia cried out, and the kids stood, their mouths open wide, then turned and ran off crying. Meanwhile, I was laughing so hard, I thought I’d pee my pants.

  “What the fuck was that?” Olivia’s nostrils flared. “That shit wasn’t even funny.”

  “The hell it wasn’t!” Aiden reached out for me. “That was epic. Did you see their faces? How did you do this?”

  “My friends Gabe and Chris hooked us up.” I went over and knelt down beside Aiden. “You said you wanted this to be something you’d remember, and I wanted you to have that. I—” I reached out and stroked a hand over his cheek. Goddamn, what was preventing me from saying the words? Aiden needed to know how I felt. I wanted him to know this was it for me. He was my plus-one in all ways. But when I opened my mouth, the words wouldn’t come.

  “I’m sorry if I scared you, Olivia.”

  “My heart ran off with those kids. I might never get it back. That freaked me the fuck out!”

  Aiden leaned in. “You can tell because she’s swearing. Livvy almost never swears.” He took her hand. “Come on. That was like the best Halloween prank ever.”

  “Yeah, until they get home and start crying to their parents they watched a man get electrocuted. What then?”

  “Then we tell them it was a trick, that no harm was meant, and we give the kids a ton of Aiden’s candy, even if it means we have to dip into the reserves.”

  “Wait. What? You’re going to give away my stuff?”

  I leaned over and kissed him. “The nicest thing about Halloween is all the candy is on sale tomorrow.”

  Understanding dawned in his eyes. “Oh. Yeah, okay. That’s fine. Give it away.”

  The rest of the night was fun, but it couldn’t top that first reaction. The kids we scared eventually came back, just like I figured. Curiosity was a strong draw. They ended up laughing, albeit a little nervously, and went home with a story and enough candy to rot their teeth before they hit puberty.

  The only thing I cared about was the look on Aiden’s face. The sheer joy I saw there had me on top of the world, because I helped to put it there. He had the time of his life, scaring kids, then making them laugh. He promised them that next year it would be even better. My mind was already working on ways to make that happen.

  I was planning a future with Aiden. I wanted him with me every night.

  But in order to do that, I had to say those words. I had to let him know how I felt and hope he was feeling the same way. And it had to be soon.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “AIDEN, PASS the mashed potatoes.”

  He grabbed the big red bowl with the white trim that had been in the family for two generations and handed it to Dad, who dug deep with the spoon and put an entire crop on his plate. He then drowned it in homemade gravy.

  I looked around the table. Galen and Robert sat next to each other, holding hands under the table, while Galen’s best friend Andy, and his lover, Marco sat beside them doing something under the table. Considering how those two behaved, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. Olivia was beside Mom, Dad was at the head of the table, and Aiden was next to me. Mom was right. It had been too long since we had a family dinner like this. Last Thanksgiving, I hadn’t come because I was too mired in my grief. This year, with Aiden and Olivia with me, nothing could have kept me away.

  “Tom, if you’re done daydreaming, I need some more dressing.”

  I looked up and caught the twinkle in Mom’s eyes. That was never good. She was up to something, and I had a feeling it involved me.

  “Sorry.” I passed the bowl down the line.

  “Thank you, dear.” She put some on her plate, then handed the bowl to Olivia. “You know, I was thinking about Christmas this year.”

  Dad groaned. “We’re not even done with Thanksgiving. Can’t we finish this before we start worrying about the next holiday?”

  “You hush! I like to plan ahead.”

  That was crap. Mom did her best work on the spur of the moment. This meal probably required six trips to the store for things she’d forgotten while putting it together.

  “I want a real tree this year, and I’d like us to get together as a family and decorate it.”

  Dad tilted his head. “You know, I think that’s a great idea. I love the smell of pine, and it would be great to have everyone here to slap on the ornaments.”

  I leaned in closer to Aiden. “That’s because it means he won’t have to do it all this year.”

  He covered his mouth and tittered. When he saw Mom giving him “the look,” he sat straight. “Sorry.”

  She shrugged. “I’m not saying Tom’s wrong. Dwight would be happy to decorate a fake tree, and after the holiday, he’d wrap it up in a garbage bag until next year, then put it up on Christmas Eve and take it down the day after.”

  “Why not? It’s not like the tree changes from year to year.” Dad took a big spoonful of mashed potatoes. “Besides, we’re getting old. It’s time to start thinking about our waning years.”

  Mom’s eyes went wide. “Old? I’m sixty-two—you’re sixty-four. We’re a long way from the home, mister.” His gaze softened, and she let out a sigh. “Okay, maybe it’s time we told them.”

  Dad nodded. “I agree.” He turned to us. “Your mother and I are thinking about selling the house and moving into something smaller. This is too much for the two of us, and we think we’ll be happier in a condo.”

  The news hit me like a sledgehammer between the eyes. This was my childhood home. It was where Brian became family. Where Galen came to understand he wasn’t his father but the son of Rachel and Dwight Kotke. It was where Marco, Andy, Aiden, and Olivia were welcomed with open arms. So many of my memories were wrapped up in this house.

  “It’s not a guaranteed thing. We’re still discussing it. And before we make any decisions, we’d talk with you all first. It’s just…. Okay, here it is in a nutshell. After more than forty years in this house, we want something
different. Your father and I would like to get out and travel. We want to buy a camper and go where the wind takes us. We raised you kids, and now we want to reap the joys that come from being together. Does that make sense?”

  As much as I hated to think it, yeah, it did. Mom and Dad were like a lot of parents. They put their kids first and foremost, sacrificing so others could grow up and move on with their lives. A wave of shame washed over me as I realized I was thinking about me and not about what they needed.

  “Sounds like a good plan. If you need help getting it ready, let me know.”

  Dad smiled at me. “I will. And Tom? Thanks.”

  “Robert and I will help too,” Galen added.

  “And Marco has a van, so he and I can help you move.” Andy turned to Marco. “I’m sorry. That’s okay, right?”

  “The van is pretty small, but we can rent a truck. I want to be a part of this.”

  Galen puffed up his chest. “It’s settled, then. You tell me what you need, and I’ll make sure it’s ready.”

  As annoying as he was when Robert first brought him around, Galen had pulled himself up and made this family his own. I couldn’t imagine anyone more well-suited to Robert than the somewhat fussy Galen. And since he was there working in the trenches every day with Robert, donations had gone up. They were working with a few corporations to bring in money, and the building renovations were nearly complete. Somewhere along the line, Galen had gone from being the son of a serial abuser to being our family, and I was glad for it. The same could be said for Marco and Andy. Somehow Mom made them fit perfectly with the rest of us, and having them here seemed right.

  The rest of dinner was conversations about places Mom and Dad would like to go. He wanted to see the Grand Canyon. Mom wanted to walk around the vineyards in California. Me? I wanted them happy. Still, I would miss the house. There was something about it. A perfect place for a family to grow.

  And that got me thinking about having a family of our own. Aiden had so much love to give, it would be a shame if he didn’t have a chance to share it. And secretly, I thought being a father would be amazing. If I was a tenth as good as my dad, then the kid would know he was loved.

  “Tom, where’s your head at today?”

  I jerked my head up and found everyone staring at me. “I’m sorry, what?”

  “Marco asked if you’d pass the cranberry sauce like five minutes ago.”

  I checked out the table but didn’t see it.

  “Don’t worry, Aiden did it.” She cocked her head. “Did you need to talk?”

  Talk? Oh hell no. “No, Mom. I’m—”

  “We’ll be back.” She got up and beckoned me to follow her into the kitchen. Her sanctum. I was in trouble.

  I leaned closer to Aiden. “I guess I’m going to talk with my mom.” I kissed him. “Be back.”

  To a chorus of ooh, I got up and trailed behind Mom. When I got into the kitchen, she handed me the dish towel and started the wash water.

  “So, talk.”

  I wasn’t sure what she wanted me to say. Well, that wasn’t true. I did know, but I wasn’t ready yet. For some reason, dragging my heels had become my new standard. Weird for a guy who always went for what he wanted.

  “Nothing to say? Okay, how about I start?”

  “Please don’t. Really.” I sighed, knowing that wouldn’t stop her. “Everything is fine, really. I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

  She stuck her hands in the soapy water and washed out a pot, which she then handed to me. Seemed as though my protests were going to be ignored.

  “Is it something to do with Aiden?”

  Well, damn. Was I that obvious? “Christmas is coming, and I want to do something special for him.”

  Yes, it was a lie, but if she believed it, then things would be okay.

  “When you were a boy, maybe six years old, you had an invisible friend named Oscar. He was like Hobbes to your Calvin. No matter what you did wrong, it was always Oscar’s fault. You broke a neighbor’s window when you threw a baseball and it bounced off the tree in the back, and when we questioned you, you swore up and down it was Oscar who did it.”

  Apparently I was failing to see the point here. “What does this have to do with—?”

  “I wasn’t stupid enough to believe it then, and I’m not any stupider now.”

  Of course not. “I never thought that.”

  She scowled. “Then stop acting like I am. What’s going on with you?”

  A deep sigh rolled out of me. “I never imagined a life without Brian. You know he was my everything.”

  “Yeah, I know. And you were his. What’s up?”

  I dropped my head against the wood door of the cabinet with a thud. “I’m to the point now where I can’t think of a life that doesn’t have Aiden in it.”

  Mom chuckled. “Can I tell you something? Those people out at the table? I can’t imagine not having them in my life either. If your father and I do decide to go traveling, I hope to hell that we’re back here every year, sitting with them.” She moved closer. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting Aiden in your life, you know that, right?”

  “Oh! No, Mom. I’m perfectly fine wanting to have Aiden in my life. In fact, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  I turned to her. “I’ll be frank. I’m not sure. And before you ask, I don’t want to talk about it until I have it clear in my head, okay?”

  She nodded. “That’s fine. Just know that I’m here for you, okay?” When she put a hand on my arm, I almost blurted out everything, but that wasn’t for today. And I needed Aiden to hear it before I told anyone else.

  AIDEN’S ATTITUDE after we got home was astounding. He was practically floating on air. There were songs being sung while he was in the room we’d converted to his workshop, there were happy noises as we snuggled on the couch at midnight to watch his favorite movie—The Rocky Horror Picture Show—and when we crawled into bed that night, there was a lot of touching and snuggling.

  “What’s up with you?”

  He put his head on my chest. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I know Mom didn’t give you too much sugar, but you’re acting like you’re buzzed. What’s going on?”

  He sighed and slid a hand over my stomach. “While we were sitting down to dinner, I realized something. This will be my first holiday with a boyfriend.” He paused. “Or do you prefer lover? What’s the proper word?”

  “Boyfriend is fine.” I stroked my fingers through his hair. “And this makes you happy?”

  “Uh, yeah. I honestly never thought it would happen. I kept thinking that no one would ever want me, you know, like I am. I was resigned to staying with Olivia for the rest of my life because….” He paused and dipped a finger into my belly button. “You know my legs are probably going to get worse, right? The way it is now, I’m spending more time in the chair than I am at my walker.”

  “If your legs get worse, we’ll deal with it.” I gave his hair a tug to ensure I had his attention. “What do you think is going to happen as I get older? Have you seen me squint when I’m reading a menu? I have more hair in my ears than on my head, and—”

  A loud thwack filled the room as he smacked my stomach. “You do not.”

  Warmth blossomed in my chest at his defense of me. “See there? You look and only notice the good things, but not the other stuff. I’m getting older—parts will wear out. Who knows? One day I might end up in a wheelchair too. We can race down the street or something. But it’s inevitable that I’m going to need glasses one day, maybe a hearing aid, and definitely a Weedwacker to get through the underbrush growing in my ears. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m going to be there for you, come what may.”

  “And I’ll be there for you.” Aiden chuckled. “I’ll even give you a head start on the wheelchair races.”

  “I’m glad to hear that.” I reached for him and pulled him closer. “What do you want to do tomorrow?�
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  He sighed. “I’ve been putting off your window, so I’m going to head to the school and work on the finishing touches so I can have it ready for Christmas.”

  We’d taken the window to where Aiden had done his training. For a modest fee, they let him work on the equipment there. I wanted to build him a studio so he could do all the work from home, but our place didn’t have that kind of room.

  “You know I don’t mind waiting.” I ran a hand over his leg. “I’ve got something even better here in bed with me.”

  “I know, but I want this for you. You’ve done so much for me, and I want to do this for you. Okay?”

  “Sure. After breakfast, I’ll take you there.”

  He bit his lip. “Can I say something and you promise not to get mad?”

  “I can’t make that promise until I know what it is.” I kissed his chest. “Is something wrong?”

  He blew out a breath. “There’s a bus that goes right by the shop. I want to take it.”

  “Why?” We had a perfectly good van. “I promise not to drive too crazy this time.”

  Aiden chuckled and reached over to pinch my nipple. “I depend on you too much.”

  I rolled over on my side. “What’s wrong with that?”

  “When I was living with Livvy, she did a lot for me. You do a lot for me. I want… I guess I want to show I can get things done on my own. I want a little independence to prove to everyone, especially me, that I’m capable of rising up to the challenge.”

  Now that I could understand. “Are you sure? I don’t ever mind helping you.”

  He turned over and smiled, then reached out and ran a hand over my cheek. “I know. That’s one of your best qualities. Yes, I’m sure. If it makes you feel better, you can come pick me up, because I expect to be there most of the day.”

  “That works. We can swing by Beans and Barley for dinner, if you want.”

  “Sounds good.” He yawned. “I’m tired.”

  I looked over at the alarm clock. “That might be because it’s almost three. I have the alarm set for seven, so let’s get some sleep. Tomorrow I’ll fix breakfast while you shower so you can get an early start. How’s that sound?”