The Decameron, Volume II

by Giovanni Boccaccio

winher favour? No, though 'twere as much as my life is worth, far be it fromme to fail of keeping my word. So on he fared, and arrived at the tomb,which he had no difficulty in opening, and being entered, laid hold ofAlessandro, who, though in mortal fear, had given no sign of life, by thefeet, and dragged him forth, and having hoisted him on to his shoulders,bent his steps towards the lady's house. And as he went, being none toocareful of Alessandro, he swung him from time to time against one orother of the angles of certain benches that were by the wayside; andindeed the night was so dark and murky that he could not see where he wasgoing. And when he was all but on the threshold of the lady's house (shestanding within at a window with her maid, to mark if Rinuccio wouldbring Alessandro, and being already provided with an excuse for sendingthem both away), it so befell that the patrol of the Signory, who wereposted in the street in dead silence, being on the look-out for a certainbandit, hearing the tramp of Rinuccio's feet, suddenly shewed a light,the better to know what was toward, and whither to go, and advancingtarges and lances, cried out:--"Who goes there?" Whereupon Rinuccio,having little leisure for deliberation, let Alessandro fall, and took toflight as fast as his legs might carry him. Alessandro, albeit encumberedby the graveclothes, which were very long, also jumped up and made off.By the light shewn by the patrol the lady had very plainly perceivedRinuccio, with Alessandro on his back, as also that Alessandro had thegrave-clothes upon him; and much did she marvel at the daring of both,but, for all that, she laughed heartily to see Rinuccio drop Alessandro,and Alessandro run away. Overjoyed at the turn the affair had taken, andpraising God that He had rid her of their harass, she withdrew from thewindow, and betook her to her chamber, averring to her maid that forcertain they must both be mightily in love with her, seeing that 'twasplain they had both done her bidding.

  Crestfallen and cursing his evil fortune, Rinuccio nevertheless went nothome, but, as soon as the street was clear of the patrol, came back tothe spot where he had dropped Alessandro, and stooped down and beganfeeling about, if haply he might find him, and so do his devoir to thelady; but, as he found him not, he supposed the patrol must have bornehim thence, and so at last home he went; as did also Alessandro, knowingnot what else to do, and deploring his mishap. On the morrow, Scannadio'stomb being found open and empty, for Alessandro had thrown the corpseinto the vault below, all Pistoia debated of the matter with no smalldiversity of opinion, the fools believing that Scannadio had been carriedoff by devils. Neither of the lovers, however, forbore to make suit tothe lady for her favour and love, telling her what he had done, and whathad happened, and praying her to have him excused that he had notperfectly carried out her instructions. But she, feigning to believeneither of them, disposed of each with the same curt answer, to wit,that, as he had not done her bidding, she would never do aught for him.

  NOVEL II.

  --An abbess rises in haste and in the dark, with intent to surprise anaccused nun abed with her lover: thinking to put on her veil, she puts oninstead the breeches of a priest that she has with her: the nun, espyingher headgear, and doing her to wit thereof, is acquitted, and thenceforthfinds it easier to forgather with her lover.--

  So ended Filomena; and when all had commended the address shewn by thelady in ridding herself of the two lovers that she affected not, andcontrariwise had censured the hardihood of the two lovers as not love butmadness, the queen turned to Elisa, and with a charming air:--"Now,Elisa, follow," quoth she: whereupon Elisa began on this wise:--Dearestladies, 'twas cleverly done of Madonna Francesca, to disembarrass herselfin the way we have heard: but I have to tell of a young nun, who by ahappy retort, and the favour of Fortune, delivered herself from imminentperil. And as you know that there are not a few most foolish folk, who,notwithstanding their folly, take upon themselves the governance andcorrection of others; so you may learn from my story that Fortune attimes justly puts them to shame; which befell the abbess, who was thesuperior of the nun of whom I am about to speak.

  You are to know, then, that in a convent in Lombardy of very great reputefor strict and holy living there was, among other ladies that there worethe veil, a young woman of noble family, and extraordinary beauty. NowIsabetta--for such was her name--having speech one day of one of herkinsmen at the grate, became enamoured of a fine young gallant that waswith him; who, seeing her to be very fair, and reading her passion in hereyes, was kindled with a like flame for her: which mutual and unsolacedlove they bore a great while not without great suffering to both. But atlength, both being intent thereon, the gallant discovered a way by whichhe might with all secrecy visit his nun; and she approving, he paid hernot one visit only, but many, to their no small mutual solace. But, whilethus they continued their intercourse, it so befell that one night one ofthe sisters observed him take his leave of Isabetta and depart, albeitneither he nor she was ware that they had thus been discovered. Thesister imparted what she had seen to several others. At first they wereminded to denounce her to the abbess, one Madonna Usimbalda, who wasreputed by the nuns, and indeed by all that knew her, to be a good andholy woman; but on second thoughts they deemed it expedient, that theremight be no room for denial, to cause the abbess to take her and thegallant in the act. So they held their peace, and arranged between themto keep her in watch and close espial, that they might catch herunawares. Of which practice Isabetta recking, witting nought, it sobefell that one night, when she had her lover to see her, the sistersthat were on the watch were soon ware of it, and at what they deemed thenick of time parted into two companies of which one mounted guard at thethreshold of Isabetta's cell, while the other hasted to the abbess'schamber, and knocking at the door, roused her, and as soon as they heardher voice, said:--"Up, Madam, without delay: we have discovered thatIsabetta has a young man with her in her cell."

  Now that night the abbess had with her a priest whom she used not seldomto have conveyed to her in a chest; and the report of the sisters makingher apprehensive lest for excess of zeal and hurry they should force thedoor open, she rose in a trice; and huddling on her clothes as best shemight in the dark, instead of the veil that they wear, which they callthe psalter, she caught up the priest's breeches, and having clapped themon her head, hied her forth, and locked the door behind her,saying:--"Where is this woman accursed of God?" And so, guided by thesisters, all so agog to catch Isabetta a sinning that they perceived notwhat manner of headgear the abbess wore, she made her way to the cell,and with their aid broke open the door; and entering they found the twolovers abed in one another's arms; who, as it were, thunderstruck to bethus surprised, lay there, witting not what to do. The sisters took theyoung nun forthwith, and by command of the abbess brought her to thechapter-house. The gallant, left behind in the cell, put on his clothesand waited to see how the affair would end, being minded to make as manynuns as he might come at pay dearly for any despite that might be donehis mistress, and to bring her off with him. The abbess, seated in thechapter-house with all her nuns about her, and all eyes bent upon theculprit, began giving her the severest reprimand that ever woman got, forthat by her disgraceful and abominable conduct, should it get wind, shehad sullied the fair fame of the convent; whereto she added menaces mostdire. Shamefast and timorous, the culprit essayed no defence, and hersilence begat pity of her in the rest; but, while the abbess waxed moreand more voluble, it chanced that the girl raised her head and espied theabbess's headgear, and the points that hung down on this side and that.The significance whereof being by no means lost upon her, she quiteplucked up heart, and:--"Madam," quoth she, "so help you God, tie up yourcoif, and then you may say what you will to me." Whereto the abbess, notunderstanding her, replied:--"What coif, lewd woman? So thou hast theeffrontery to jest! Think'st thou that what thou hast done is a mattermeet for jests?" Whereupon:--"Madam," quoth the girl again, "I pray you,tie up your coif, and then you may say to me whatever you please." Whichoccasioned not a few of the nuns to look up at the abbess's head, and theabbess herself to raise her hands thereto, and so she and they at one andthe same time apprehended
Isabetta's meaning. Wherefore the abbess,finding herself detected by all in the same sin, and that no disguise waspossible, changed her tone, and held quite another sort of language thanbefore, the upshot of which was that 'twas impossible to withstand theassaults of the flesh, and that, accordingly, observing due secrecy astheretofore, all might give themselves a good time, as they hadopportunity. So, having dismissed Isabetta to rejoin her lover in hercell, she herself returned to lie with her priest. And many a timethereafter, in spite of the envious, Isabetta had her gallant to see her,the others, that lacked lovers, doing in secret the best they might topush their fortunes.

  NOVEL III.

  --Master Simone, at the instance of Bruno and Buffalmacco and Nello, makesCalandrino believe that he is with child. Calandrino, accordingly,