The Morning After the Wedding Before

by Laura Ziepe

  Emma nodded. ‘If you ever need to talk about it, we’re here for you.’

  ‘Thanks.’ Kim flashed her a grateful smile.

  ‘No matter what happens, we all have each other.’

  It was the truth, and it gave Kim a surge of comfort and hope. She was incredibly lucky to have some great friends in her life and she wished she’d told them about her plight sooner. Nothing ever seemed so bad when you had people who would always be there for you.

  ‘Oh shit,’ Emma hissed, ducking down. ‘Max and Callum are over there. Have they seen us?’

  Kim’s eyes flew over to where they were walking. Callum nodded at her in acknowledgement, and she knew there was no going back then. It was too late to hide. They were on their way over. Kim glanced at Holly who sat up, holding her head high.

  ‘I feel so uncomfortable,’ Emma whispered, squinting in the sunshine.

  ‘Alright girls,’ Max flashed them a radiant smile, full of bravado despite his recent actions.

  ‘Hi,’ Emma said gently, sitting herself up and looking a little nervous.

  ‘How are you feeling, Em?’ Callum asked softly.

  ‘Terrible,’ Emma replied gloomily. ‘Guilty. Like the worst person in the world. Sad. I don’t know …’

  ‘You did what you needed to do,’ Max told her reassuringly. ‘If it wasn’t right, it wasn’t right. Charlie will find someone else one day.’

  ‘Don’t beat yourself up about it,’ Callum told her kindly.

  ‘It’s not as though you made loads of people travel halfway round the world or anything,’ Max put in. ‘That was a joke by the way.’

  No-one laughed.

  ‘When are you girls leaving?’ Callum asked.

  ‘A bit later this afternoon,’ Holly replied.

  ‘Our flight is this evening,’ Callum said.

  ‘Anyway girls, we’re going to love and leave you. I’ll text you Holly, yeah? We’ll meet up when we’re back,’ Max dared to say confidently, ‘go to that restaurant I was talking about or something.’

  Holly laughed sardonically. ‘No thanks.’

  Max flinched as she said the words, clearly not the answer he was expecting. ‘No?’

  ‘The answer is no.’ Her voice was cutting. Brutal. ‘I think we’ll leave our little romance in Vegas,’ she told him in a patronizing voice. ‘Probably for the best. I don’t plan on being one of your many women, as tempting as it is. But thanks all the same.’

  Max’s face fell, his gaze sweeping to Kim as she looked at her nails uncomfortably. It was obvious she’d told Holly what he’d done. So what? She wanted to shout at him. So what, Max? As if she was going to let her best friend get involved with the likes of him. He had no respect for women. He was a complete dick.

  ‘Fine,’ he shrugged, trying to appear completely unfazed or bothered. He wasn’t fooling any of them though. ‘If that’s the way you want to be,’ he shrugged and forced a laugh. ‘Your loss, not mine.’

  The atmosphere was suddenly awkward and no-one knew what to say or where to look.

  ‘Come on then, Callum, I don’t think we’re wanted here,’ he tried to seem as though he thought the whole situation was amusing. ‘See you later, girls.’

  ‘Safe journey back,’ Emma mumbled.

  Callum cringed as he followed Max. ‘Bye girls. Lovely meeting you all.’

  They watched Max saunter over to a group of girls, Callum following behind, not paying much attention and speaking to someone on his phone before walking off alone so he could hear better.

  ‘He’s just so full of it,’ Kim pointed out in distaste.

  ‘Honestly, I’m watching him now and wondering how I was so blinded,’ Holly said in disbelief, shaking her head.

  ‘I guess he does look sleazy,’ Emma turned up her nose. ‘I didn’t realize he was this bad, I swear to you.’

  They were staring as he put his arm around a curvy blonde who seemed to edge away, only for him to get closer. She clearly wasn’t interested but Max didn’t seem to notice.

  ‘It’s actually embarrassing to watch,’ Kim clenched her teeth. ‘It’s like he’s doing it to show off to you, Holly. Men and their bruised egos.’

  ‘I was thinking that,’ Emma agreed. ‘He wants you to see it.’

  ‘Oh dear,’ Holly giggled, when two beefy-looking men bowled over to the girls, their expressions livid. ‘Looks like their boyfriends aren’t too pleased with his womanizing ways.’

  ‘Oh shit,’ Kim gaffawed, ‘that one just pushed him.’

  The girls sat there open-mouthed as Max pushed the huge muscly man back, before being punched in the eye and falling backwards into the pool.

  After seeing Max float to the top, holding his eye, which looked like it was already turning a shade of purple, and looking embarrassed, the girls burst out laughing, lying down on the sunbed and holding their stomachs.

  Kim chuckled as she watched Max pulling himself from the pool looking sorry for himself. It didn’t seem as though his luck was about to improve when the security man escorted him out of the party.

  ‘I think I may have wet myself a little bit,’ Holly snorted.

  Emma wiped her eyes. ‘That really served him right.’

  It looked like Max’s ego wasn’t the only thing bruised that day and Kim continued to laugh a real belly laugh along with Holly and Emma. There was nothing quite like laughing with your best friends and she couldn’t wait for the future; she would always make it a priority to make more time for them. They were true friends who would share joys and sorrows. There would be the inevitable twists and turns of life but their journey would be made sweeter by sharing it together.

  ‘That’s cheered me right up,’ Emma giggled, holding up her glass. ‘Cheers girls. To Vegas.’

  ‘To Vegas.’

  They clinked glasses for the last time that trip.

  Chapter 35

  Emma

  Emma sat waiting in the bar anxiously, her legs crossed on the tall bar. She automatically went to click onto her Instagram account, before remembering that she’d deleted it. It was astounding how many times a day she still went to check it. She was struggling without it and she admitted that she actually relied on it to keep her company when she had spare time. Just a quick post or browse to see what others were posting. All part of her daily routine. Or was it all part of a daily obsession? Perhaps she needed it just a little too much? It had only been suspended for the past day, and already, Emma felt as though she was missing something.

  ‘Thanks for meeting me,’ she said, her heart crawling into her throat. Why did she feel so scared? ‘I got you a lemonade; I assumed you wouldn’t be drinking because of the flight home and remembered that was the soft drink you normally had.’

  ‘We’ve actually changed our flight,’ Frankie said, clearing his throat. He ran his fingers through his dark hair, sitting down next to her. ‘It was Charlie’s idea. He wanted to have a few days with the lads. Drown his sorrows I guess. He couldn’t face going back just yet.’ He was cool and straight-faced.

  Emma nodded slowly. If there were ever a place to get over someone, it was Vegas. Charlie would be partying until the early hours every night, she could just imagine. Frankie, who wasn’t as much as a party-goer, would just tag along and follow him; anything Charlie wanted. He was such a loyal, caring cousin, but she did at times feel as though their relationship was a bit one-sided. She recalled once how Charlie wouldn’t pick Frankie up when his car broke down because it was late and he was too tired. Instead he’d sent him the phone numbers of companies that could help. Emma had been asleep at the time or she would have gone herself, and Charlie hadn’t told her about it until the next morning when she woke up. Then there was the time when Frankie was moving house and needed a set of extra hands to help move all the furniture.

  ‘Why doesn’t he just get a removal company?’ Charlie had huffed. ‘I’ve been invited to the football today.’

  Charlie had gone to help, but only for a few hours after t
he game, and that was because Emma had told him he should do it. Frankie would have done it in a heartbeat if it had been the other way round.

  Then there was Charlie’s mother, Jean. Charlie was always commenting that Frankie was her ‘golden boy’ and the ‘son she wished she had’. Emma could see that Charlie was jealous of their close relationship. He wasn’t overly close to either of his parents, whereas Frankie had a lovely relationship with them. Emma had always told him to make more of an effort if he felt that way, but nothing had ever changed. She’d often felt bad for Frankie; after all, it wasn’t his fault that he got on so well with Charlie’s mother.

  She couldn’t blame Charlie for staying in Vegas, but what Charlie did was none of her business any more. Not knowing what he was up to gave her a weird, uneasy feeling, but more than anything Emma just felt relieved she didn’t have to worry about him any more. ‘How is he?’ she asked.

  ‘Honestly?’ Frankie raised his eyebrows. ‘He’s not doing well. I’m worried about him. He loved you, Em. It will take some time to get over the fact that you left him on the day of your wedding,’ he looked up, his bright hazel eyes taking in her traumatized expression, ‘but hey, I’m sure he will be fine. He’s a strong man; one of the strongest I know, in fact. It’s better you didn’t marry him if your heart wasn’t in it. How have you been holding up?’ He looked as though he genuinely cared. ‘I noticed you deleted your Instagram account.’

  So he’d checked on her, Emma realized, the thought lifting her spirits a little. He’d noticed she was gone. ‘I’m taking a break from it for a while. I’m not sure for how long yet. It’s my only source of income, so I know I’ll have to go back on it soon. The break feels good though. It’s refreshing. I’m not feeling my best at the moment,’ she revealed quietly. ‘I just wish I’d ended things sooner rather than try to convince myself that everything was going to be okay. I loved Charlie, but our relationship was far more complicated than anybody realized.’ She shook her head, picturing Charlie’s crestfallen face when she’d broken it off. ‘Listen, Frankie, I wanted to thank you for helping me on my wedding morning. Thank you for rescuing me the night before too, just like you’ve done so many other nights. You’ve always been there when I needed someone.’

  ‘It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.’ Frankie shot her a natural smile.

  ‘I guess I won’t be seeing much of you now Charlie and I have split up, will I? Who will look after me now?’ Her eyes were bright and watery. It had only just dawned on her that she wouldn’t just be losing Charlie, but Frankie too. The thought saddened her more than she liked to admit. In fact, she couldn’t bear it. Couldn’t they still remain friends at the very least?

  ‘You seem to have some good friends,’ Frankie said, but he sounded gloomy about the situation too.

  Emma hesitated before speaking. She had nothing to lose so she was going to just come out and say it. ‘Frankie, that thing I said to you about feeling happy when I thought it was you I had married, it’s the truth. I can’t stop thinking about how I feel. It was like I was supposed to have been with you all along.’

  Frankie looked into the distance, his mouth twitching awkwardly.

  There was silence as he digested her words.

  Emma continued. ‘There’s something between us, Frankie. I just know there is. You feel it too, don’t you?’ Her voice was strained and her palms were sweaty. .

  Frankie groaned. ‘You can’t do this, Emma. You can’t say these things to me. Charlie is my cousin. He’s been there for me ever since my father died when I was twelve. Checking up on me, lending me money when I was younger and inviting me out with him. We had nothing when my father died and my mother was always working. It wasn’t her fault but she was never there for me when I needed it, so Charlie’s mother was like a mother figure to me. I owe them. I owe him.’

  Emma nodded. She knew the score already. She knew how much Charlie’s family meant to him. ‘You feel it too though, don’t you? If you don’t, if I’m imagining it, then just tell me. Please. I need to know.’

  ‘Yes, okay,’ he answered, staring at her, ‘I do like you. As more than a friend. I always have done. But it doesn’t matter, none of it does, because I can never do anything about it. I could never act upon my feelings. Don’t you see that?’ he said sadly, squeezing her hand. ‘It doesn’t matter that you and Charlie are no longer together; there’s an unwritten rule between us, and I can’t, I won’t break it. Not when Charlie has been so good to me.’

  Usually when someone told you they liked you back, you felt happy, euphoric even. But not this time. Emma felt even more desolate than she had before. Their feelings for each other didn’t matter. They had to be shut out. Ignored. At that present moment, it felt impossible. The thing was, Emma didn’t even believe that Charlie had been that good to Frankie. She knew all the snide remarks he made about him behind his back. Not that she would ever say it and hurt his feelings.

  ‘Can we still be friends at least?’ Emma asked hopefully.

  ‘It’s going to be difficult, Em. You know I don’t want to lose you just as much as you don’t want to lose me, but …’

  ‘Charlie,’ Emma interjected sourly, ‘I get it.’ She looked around the room, envious of everyone around her who seemed so relaxed and carefree. She glanced at her watch, suddenly wanting to get away. Wanting to run and cry in her own private space. ‘I best get going. I need to leave soon because of my flight,’ she told him. It wasn’t a lie; she actually didn’t have much time to spare.

  Frankie nodded and stood up. He was tall and strong and she felt safe as he wrapped her in his arms. ‘You take care now.’ His voice was controlled, low and deep.

  Emma clasped his back tightly, before pulling back. She kissed him softly on the lips and he didn’t hesitate. It just felt right. ‘Goodbye, Frankie.’

  ‘Bye, Emma.’

  As she walked away from him, she felt heartbroken. After how she’d treated Charlie, she deserved this pain, she told herself. As she glanced back at Frankie, her own torment was mirrored in his expression, and she understood at that moment that she loved Frankie.

  But sometimes love just wasn’t enough.

  Chapter 36

  Holly

  ‘How has she been?’ Holly asked her mother as she held Lottie tightly in her arms. She felt her eyes well up. She knew it was impossible, but Lottie looked more grown up somehow. Her hair was longer. Her feet looked like they’d grown. Had she really been that tall when Holly had left? She never wanted to let her go. Her hair smelt freshly washed like apples. Probably one of the overpriced shampoos she’d purchased with brightly coloured packaging, aimed at kids. Her children were always clean and smelt lovely when her mother took care of them.

  ‘She’s been fine, haven’t you, darling?’

  Lottie nodded, looking proud of herself. ‘The nurse at the hospital told me I have to be very careful, Mummy.’

  ‘You do have to be careful, sweetheart,’ Holly smiled at her, holding her tightly once more. ‘No more jumping on the bed.’

  ‘That’s like the monkey song, Mummy,’ Lottie beamed at her.

  ‘That’s right,’ Holly laughed warmly.

  Jacob was still having his nap, but Holly had already been in to him to give him a huge kiss. Nap-time was normally her happy hour. Her hour of freedom to tidy up, catch up on her favourite Netflix series or do some laundry, but today, Holly couldn’t wait for it to be over. She was longing to hold her son and kiss him all over. To have both her children by her side.

  ‘Thank you so much for having them, Mum. I can’t believe this all happened when I was away. I’m never going away without them again,’ she said emotionally.

  ‘A little break away from time to time won’t hurt you, dear,’ Edna said, pursing her lips thoughtfully. ‘It was just terrible timing that Lottie decided to have an accident. I was terrified, honestly. Rob was so good though; he came and collected Jacob straight away. He’s been on the phone constantly. His girlfriend, Nikki,
seems nice too. I’d say he’s picked a decent girl there; seems to have her head screwed on.’

  ‘I still feel so bad that I thought it was his fault,’ Holly said quietly so Lottie didn’t overhear. ‘He must think I’m such a bitch the way I spoke to him. I’ll have to call him again to apologize. He’s acting fine about it, but I feel terrible.’

  ‘You were just worried, that’s all. Shock can make you say things you don’t mean. Anyway, I’m just glad you had a good time away, that’s all. I can’t believe the wedding never actually happened though. That’s unheard of.’

  ‘It was a good thing, trust me,’ Holly told her, her face darkening as she thought of the man Emma almost got herself tied to. She pulled Lottie in again and kissed her cheek. ‘I’m just happy to be home with my babies where I belong.’

  ‘Meet anyone nice while you were away?’ Edna raised an eyebrow.

  She just couldn’t help herself, Holly thought fondly. Ever the optimist that Holly would fall in love. Callum flashed through her mind, but she knew her mother would ask question after question if she so much as mentioned him, and Holly wasn’t exactly sure how she would even answer. It was complicated. ‘No,’ Holly told her, focusing on Lottie’s cast and running her fingers along the white plaster, ‘no-one of importance, Mum.’

  If anything, meeting Max had just reaffirmed that Holly didn’t need a man in her life. It certainly wasn’t something she would search for for the time being. If she met someone at some point who was right for her, then great, she wasn’t opposed to the idea any longer, but if she didn’t, Holly was content with her lot. She was incredibly lucky to have her family.

  Edna stayed for lunch and Holly had a lovely afternoon with her children. Jacob had woken up happy, delighted that Holly had returned. He kept running back into the kitchen to check she was still there, running into her arms and chuckling with laughter. She felt as though her heart would burst with love for her children. Of course she realized she was in a happy bubble, which would eventually burst, life returning to normality. She knew that the whining would start at some point. Holly was aware that Lottie would be moaning that Jacob had picked up a piece of her puzzle or the dummy of her doll, but for now the children seemed to be just as thrilled with her return as Holly felt.