The Morning After the Wedding Before

by Laura Ziepe

  ‘Okay,’ he said, putting his coat on and standing up. ‘I’m sorry, Emma,’ he said. ‘The last thing I want is to confuse you.’

  Emma swallowed the lump in her throat and walked him to the door.

  He turned, gazing at her intently.

  ‘What, Frankie?’ Emma frowned, ‘what is it you want to say? Just say it,’ she pleaded with him.

  When he remained silent, Emma turned around to close the door, her eyes burning, threatening tears, when she felt him take her by the arm. He pulled her close and Emma melted into him as he kissed her hard on the mouth. They held each other, kissing hungrily. She couldn’t count the amount of times she’d imagined this moment and Emma never wanted it to end.

  She gasped for breath. ‘What’s changed?’ she managed, needing to know he wasn’t going to change his mind. ‘How come you’re doing this after all this time?’

  ‘Everything,’ Frankie told her seriously. ‘I just can’t live without you, Emma. There’s no-one else for me. I can’t stop thinking about you; you’re on my mind every single day. I can’t even concentrate at work because I want to see you so badly. I heard through the grapevine about the way Charlie had been treating you. You know, all those awful comments he used to make about your job and how he tried to control you.’

  ‘Who did you hear that from?’ Emma wondered aloud. To be fair, she had told people the truth when they asked her why she didn’t get married.

  ‘I saw Fran and Danni a few weeks back and they told me things from your side. I only ever heard Charlie’s version.’

  Emma nodded. Fran and Danni knew the full story; she’d explained it all on a night out when they’d got home from Vegas and they’d been horrified. She gazed at him, wanting to hear what else he had to say.

  ‘I felt so guilty that I hadn’t noticed how unhappy he’d been making you, even when you married that random guy the night before the wedding; it had just been a call for help. I was just too blind to see it, telling myself it was just cold feet. A last-minute change of heart. I asked Charlie about his behaviour towards you after I heard about it, and he’d shrugged as though the things he did weren’t a big deal. How you were just overreacting and didn’t want him to share your limelight. He said some awful things and I stuck up for you, unable to believe I’d never noticed any of this before. He accused me of having feelings for you and when I didn’t deny it, he turned on me. That’s when he announced he was moving to Australia, telling me to do what the hell I liked because he no longer cared. He had a big falling out with Jean when he left too, and when I stuck up for her as well, he was just rude to me, calling me every name under the sun and telling me never to speak to him again. I’ve never seen him act so abruptly before; he looked as though he hated me. Perhaps he always has? Jean didn’t deserve any of it. He’s always had such a problem with our relationship, but he doesn’t help himself at all. We tried speaking to him before he left, but he wasn’t interested,’ he explained, looking a little disconsolate about the situation. ‘He’s just so stubborn.’

  ‘You don’t have to tell me that,’ Emma said, holding his hands. ‘I’m sorry things didn’t end well between you, but don’t blame yourself. You’ve been nothing but a great friend to Charlie and he’s never appreciated you.’

  Frankie kissed her again and Emma was unable to wipe the grin off her face. ‘Coming in again?’ she asked him, unable to contain her happiness that Frankie was back. She belonged with him, she was certain of it. Nothing had ever felt so right in her entire life.

  ‘You bet I am,’ Frankie replied, kissing her neck.

  Emma giggled merrily, closing her front door.

  Did you love The Morning After the Wedding Before? Don’t miss ’Tis the Season to Be Single, another unputdownable novel from Laura Ziepe. Available now!

  Click here if you’re in the US

  Click here if you’re in the UK

  Acknowledgements

  Firstly I would like to thank my fabulous editor, Charlotte Mursell, and the rest of the amazing team at HQ Digital. Thank you so much for all the enthusiasm and setting me on the right path. I’m so thankful for all of the hard work that goes on behind the scenes, and I’m so grateful you’ve made me feel so welcome from the start.

  My agent at Hardman and Swainson, Hannah Ferguson, and also to the lovely Jo Swainson who was covering at the time of my two-book deal. Thank you for everything you have done.

  A big cheer to my family; my husband Terry who is always helpful when I have a deadline, my twins Harry and Darcey (the reason I’m always needing time to meet the deadline), my parents whose support and excitement means everything (as well as the babysitting when I need to write) and also to my friends Danielle, Carolyn and Claire, for listening to me ramble on about my latest storyline.

  Last but certainly not least, all my readers. Every message I receive from you puts a smile on my face. Thank you from the bottom of my heart – I hope you’ve enjoyed this book too.

  If you loved The Morning After the Wedding Before then turn the page for an exclusive extract from ’Tis the Season to Be Single …

  Chapter 1

  ‘Perhaps he’s going to propose?’ Grace said cheerfully, her eyes sparkling with excitement as she bent down to arrange a drawer of lipsticks.

  Rachel frowned anxiously, biting her lower lip as she stared at the twinkly fairy lights and sparkly giant baubles above. The Christmas decorations had just gone up and they usually put her in a good mood instantly, but not today. Her boyfriend of three years, Mark, had called on her lunch break to check she was coming straight home as he needed to talk to her.

  ‘No, I really don’t think that’s it,’ she replied fretfully. ‘He sounded really serious on the phone and Mark is never normally like that. It was as though someone had died. Which they haven’t, thank goodness, because it was the first thing I asked when I heard his sombre voice.’

  ‘Well, getting married is a huge deal,’ Grace pointed out, tucking her shoulder-length dark hair behind her ear. ‘He’s probably just nervous.’ She smiled widely. ‘You should have seen Simon when he proposed to me. He was shaking so much I thought he was going to drop the ring.’

  Rachel gave a light laugh. ‘I’m not so sure …’ She tailed off, unable to imagine Mark proposing on such an ordinary day. Firstly, it was a Wednesday and they didn’t have plans that evening to do anything special, and secondly, Christmas was just around the corner. Surely if Mark was going to propose he’d choose to do so on Christmas Day? She could just imagine it at the Christmas table, surrounded by Mark’s lovely family as they gushed over the beautiful diamond ring. He wouldn’t do it on a random Wednesday at the beginning of November, would he? Rachel felt like she’d been waiting forever for him to propose, but try as she might, she just couldn’t imagine that being the reason he needed to talk to her.

  ‘Don’t look so worried,’ Grace told her, in a comforting, caring voice. ‘I’m sure if it was that urgent, he would have just told you over the phone.’

  Rachel forced a smile and nodded her head. ‘Yes, I’m sure you’re right. It’s probably nothing. I bet it’s to do with his work or something along those lines. He’s been so stressed over work lately; perhaps he’s quit his job? It wouldn’t be the worst thing.’

  ‘Has Bianca mentioned anything?’ Grace questioned curiously. ‘Perhaps she knows what all this is about?’

  Bianca was Rachel’s best friend from primary school. When Bianca had been made redundant the year before, Rachel had managed to persuade Mark to get her a job at the bank he worked for in London. Bianca had been over the moon and so grateful. Rachel’s forehead wrinkled.

  ‘No, she hasn’t, and I spoke to her last night. They only work in the same building though. They’re in completely different departments so I can’t imagine she’d know anything anyway. It’s not like they’re friends or anything.’ Rachel heaved a loud sigh. ‘There’s no point in me guessing all day. I’ll just have to wait and see.’

  ‘Exactly,�
�� Grace said, pulling out a lipstick and taking the cap off. ‘Put on a bit of red lippie to get into the festive spirit and everything will be fine,’ she smiled, passing the lipstick over.

  It was quiet today in Tidemans, the department store they worked in. With Christmas fast approaching, Rachel knew it was the calm before the storm and she should appreciate the peace and quiet. Right now though, she also knew that she’d welcome the distraction of some customers, as all she could think about was what Mark wanted to say to her. As much as she’d pressed him on the phone, he’d been adamant he wanted to discuss it face to face. It couldn’t be anything that bad, could it? A feeling of unease crept up on her. Everything had been fine in their relationship; a little same-old and predictable maybe, but Rachel loved the feeling of being completely comfortable and they were happy, weren’t they? Who cared if she no longer had the butterflies like at the beginning? That feeling didn’t last forever in any relationship, and Mark was the man Rachel wanted to marry. He was the one. For the past year she’d been hoping he was going to propose and she couldn’t deny she’d felt a little disappointed after every night out in a restaurant or trip away together when she’d still come back empty handed. What if Grace was right? What if he really was going to propose today? Rachel applied the red lipstick with a brush and puckered her lips together. At least she could make sure she looked nice if he was going to pop the question.

  Rachel loved working with Grace on the make-up counter for Pop Cosmetics and they’d become great friends over the years. They knew practically everything about each other, and Rachel was so glad she’d decided to take the job five years ago, despite having reservations about working in retail. There were usually three of them, but their colleague, Amber, was away in Thailand, due to arrive back in a few days’ time.

  ‘Good luck,’ Grace said, leaning in for a kiss a few hours later when they were leaving. ‘Let me know straightaway if you get engaged,’ she said, her lips curving at the edges. ‘What a lovely early Christmas present that would be.’

  Rachel waved goodbye, feeling sick with nerves.

  Their flat was empty when she got home, so Rachel put the kettle on, making a cup of tea for something to do. She was looking forward to decorating their flat for Christmas; they usually drank mulled wine and listened to Christmas songs to get them in the mood. She remembered amusedly how the year before they’d ended up pretty drunk and covered in glitter.

  She was pouring the milk into the tea when she heard the front door open and Mark walk in.

  ‘Hi!’ Rachel attempted a smile and a breezy tone, swivelling round to face Mark as he walked into the kitchen. Her heart plummeted, as she instantly knew that whatever it was he was going to tell her, it wasn’t good news. There was definitely going to be no proposal tonight, of that she was certain.

  ‘Hi. Rach, do you mind sitting down?’ Mark asked gravely, walking over to the kitchen table with a slight stoop to his shoulders. His face was white as a sheet.

  Rachel swallowed hard, knowing she should have trusted her gut instinct that something was wrong when he had called her that afternoon. Maybe he’d been sacked from his job and they were going to struggle to pay the bills? She could handle that though and would offer to work extra hours at Tidemans and start doing freelance make-up like she’d promised herself she would years ago. Or perhaps someone was sick? Rachel was annoyed that she’d allowed Grace to get her hopes up that maybe, just maybe, he was going to propose and everything was going to be amazing in her life. She needed to stop telling herself that if she just had an engagement ring, everything would perfect.

  ‘I’ve made you a cup of tea,’ she said, placing the mug in front of him and sitting opposite. ‘Can you tell me what’s up now, please? You’re starting to scare me,’ she confessed, feeling awkward in front of him for the first time since they’d met.

  Mark’s breathing was shallow and audible as he fidgeted in his seat and stared at his hands uncomfortably. Two red blotches suddenly appeared on his pale neck. He closed his eyes momentarily.

  ‘Look, there’s no easy way for me to say this, Rachel, but I’m moving out. I can’t be with you anymore,’ he stated, matter-of-factly.

  Rachel felt as though she’d been winded, her mouth popping open in shock. She was completely speechless, the room spinning round as she stared at him in disbelief.

  ‘I’m so sorry to do this to you, I really am, but I can’t live a lie any longer and pretend that everything is okay, when it isn’t. You’re such an amazing person, Rach, you really are. Someone is going to be so lucky to have you one day,’ he said in pitying tones, ‘but I don’t love you the way I should anymore. You deserve better than me.’

  A sense of deep foreboding washed over Rachel like a powerful waterfall. He couldn’t be serious? But as she gazed at Mark, praying he was just trying to wind her up, her eyes swept over his guilty, tormented expression, hunched shoulders and unsteady hands, and she knew that her life was about to change forever. This was definitely no joke, and Rachel felt physically sick, her mouth too dry to speak. She blinked several times and squinted her eyes at him. ‘But why? What’s changed?’ she managed to ask, her voice cracking with emotion. ‘I thought things were fine. I thought we were happy, Mark. I even, stupidly, thought we would get engaged soon,’ Rachel whispered breathlessly. ‘I imagined we’d be getting married next year and that maybe we could have a nice Christmas wedding like we’d discussed or …’

  ‘Rach, please don’t,’ he interjected, looking as though it was painful for him to talk, his eyes trailing to the window like he couldn’t bear to look at her. ‘It’s nothing you’ve done. You’ve been great, you are great in fact. It’s me.’ He winced. ‘Oh God, I don’t want to be the guy that gives you the cliché “it’s not you it’s me”.’

  ‘Then don’t be,’ Rachel retorted, her voice now razor sharp and unrecognisable. Her heart was beating so fast it felt like it might explode at any second.

  ‘I don’t want to hurt you,’ he whimpered. ‘I don’t deserve you, like I said. You deserve so much better than me.’

  Even breaking up with her, Mark was being nice about it. He was so well spoken and polite that for some reason it made it more of a slap in the face because she couldn’t hate him. How on earth was this happening? How had it come to this? Rachel hadn’t gone after a bad boy, trying to tame him unsuccessfully. Rachel had chosen Mark. Mark with the kind, gentle features and smiley face who was friendly to everybody. The type of man to help an old lady crossing the road or to buy the homeless man on the street a cup of coffee. She’d settled for the good guy; the one who wasn’t supposed to break your heart after three years together. The one who was supposed to be proposing!

  ‘What’s changed?’ Rachel asked in a demanding voice. She needed an explanation. Rachel wasn’t giving up without a fight. They had so many plans for the future. Rachel had been looking forward to hosting Christmas for Mark’s entire family, like she’d done every year since they’d met. She’d been looking forward to playing board games with his sister, Lottie, who was just as competitive as Rachel, handing her presents out, which she’d put a lot of thought into, and pulling Christmas crackers at the table, with Mark’s father making them read the terrible jokes inside one by one. She had even been looking forward to Mark’s mother getting drunk, mumbling all her words and not making any sense by 9 p.m. Was she really going to be losing everyone in one fell swoop? It was devastating. Brutal.

  Mark looked at her then, as though she was a poor little dog he was about to put down. ‘I have. Things have just changed. I love you, Rach, you know I do. But I think it’s more like a friend.’

  It would have hurt less if he’d stabbed her and suddenly Rachel felt angry.

  ‘Right, well that’s just great then,’ she said, pushing her chair back to stand up, which made a loud scraping sound. ‘I’ll just get my things and go. There’s nothing I can do if you’re telling me that you only love me as a friend,’ she said, hating the fact that her fa
ce was scrunching up and her eyes were filling with tears.

  ‘Please, don’t, Rach. I already feel terrible enough,’ Mark replied, putting his head in his hands.

  ‘What do you want me to say, Mark? I love you, and not just as a friend. I thought we were going to be together forever, and now suddenly out of the blue you come home and tell me you no longer love me!’ Tears cascaded down her cheeks. ‘I feel like such an idiot.’

  ‘You’re not an idiot. I’m the idiot. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore,’ he sighed, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands.

  ‘You’re breaking up with me,’ Rachel stated, brushing her tears away roughly. ‘I’ll leave and make things easier for you,’ she told him, making her way into their bedroom to pack a bag.

  ‘No, I’ll leave,’ Mark said, jumping up to follow her, ‘I should be the one to go.’

  ‘No, you won’t,’ Rachel snapped at him. ‘You won’t be the one who gets to break up with me and then walk away. I don’t want to be here alone, in our flat. There are too many memories. It’s all yours.’

  ‘You don’t have to go right now,’ he mumbled guiltily, his eyes downcast. The dark shadows under his eyes and his blotchy skin gave the impression that the situation was making him ill. Well, good. Rachel hoped he was suffering just as much as she was.

  ‘What shall I do then, Mark? Sleep next to you in bed knowing that you don’t love me? Sleep on the sofa knowing that you’re next door where I usually sleep? I can’t believe you’re doing this, Mark. Just before Christmas too.’

  ‘There was never a right time. After Christmas it’s your birthday, then Valentine’s Day, then our anniversary. When would the right time be, Rach? I could sleep on the sofa,’ she heard him say, before she slammed the door to cry alone.

  Rachel sobbed, trying to hold it together until she left. She was utterly heartbroken, but she didn’t want Mark to see how distraught she truly was. She felt humiliated and foolish. Mark seemed a complete stranger and not the man she’d laid beside for the past three years. Where had all this come from and how had Rachel not seen it coming? If he no longer loved her, there was really no going back now, was there? There was simply nothing she could do about it.