Temptation

by Smeltzer, Micalea

  I think Siva’s biggest problem is it’s so hard for him to let his guard down. So he lashes out instead, which only hurts the ones who actually care about him.

  “I can only try so hard, Siva. You know, a relationship isn’t a one-way street,” I snap, feeling my temper rise.

  He looks shocked at my tone. I’m normally so even tempered.

  “Okay,” he says, and his small smile returns, quirking at the corners. “I will no longer snap at the wait staff, deal?”

  “That sounds reasonable of you,” I say.

  The scar cutting above his lip reflects in the light. “So, maybe I’m being presumptuous, but what should we do for our second date?”

  The waiter returns with the bottle of wine and two glasses. He pops the cork and pours the first glass. When he moves to mine I wave my hand and say, “No, I don’t drink.”

  “Try it, Sloane,” he pleads. “It is lovely with seafood.”

  I roll my eyes and swear I hear a chuckle rumble in Siva’s chest.

  “Go ahead,” I say, to the waiter and he pours me a glass. He doesn’t fill my glass quite as much as he did Siva’s, bless him. I could hug this staff.

  The waiter leaves and Siva quirks his head. “So, second date?”

  “First off, it is very forward of you, Mr. Kapur. I’m not sure I should accept,” I say with a sigh and feel my eyes sparkle with mirth. “Besides, this date isn’t exactly going well in case you couldn’t tell.”

  “My apologies, Ms. Campbell,” he says, playing along.

  “But,” I sigh. “I think I must say yes. I’m thinking a movie date. A perfectly normal, non-formal movie date. It’s time you loosen your tie, Mr. Kapur.”

  “I am perfectly capable of loosening my tie,” he jokes.

  “Oh, I’m sure you are,” I say, and a smile lights my lips.

  The waiter returns some time later with two steaming plates full of food. “Enjoy your meal,” he says, before disappearing.

  “Who is supposed to eat all this?” I ask in shock. My jaw literally drops at the sight of all the food. He ordered enough to feed ten people.

  “Us,” he answers like it’s obvious, which I guess it is.

  “But, but, but,” I say, my mouth opening and closing like a fish.

  He smiles patiently. I finally snap my mouth closed.

  The plate holds a succulent lobster, oysters, shrimp, scallops, and other little critters I can’t identify. His plate holds the same. He dips a piece of lobster into butter and slurps it down. He motions for me to eat and to stop gawking, so finally I do.

  ***

  “I am so full I’ll never eat again,” I declare, pressing a hand to my stomach. The food was delicious, but I over indulged, and now I’m regretting every bite I put into my mouth.

  Siva laughs.

  “I have to agree,” he says, patting his flat stomach.

  He pays the bill, I don’t even want to begin to think about how much it cost, and stands, offering me his hand. I take it and he hauls me up.

  “Oomph,” he jokes. “Did you gain ten pounds?”

  “Stop it.” I frown and try to smack his arm. He dances away playfully and I smile, liking this version of him much more than the brooding and serious one. Don’t get me wrong, I accept Siva as he is, but his bullish attitude has never seemed to me like this natural state—not like he tries to pretend it is.

  He laces his fingers through mine. His hand is warm and solid, his grasp steady. He managed to get me to drink a little wine and my head is already feeling fuzzy. It wouldn’t take much to get to me, though. We tromp down the steps and out onto the dock.

  The sun has long since descended and the moon has risen. It’s a full moon and makes the ocean water glitter white. The stars sparkle like little winking diamonds.

  “It’s so beautiful here,” I breathe in awe, staring at the sky.

  Siva smiles. “It is.” His hand cups my cheek and his eyes bore into mine. “But you are a much more beautiful view,” he murmurs, and his breath tickles my face. He pushes my back against the railing. The ocean roars below us, drowning out the sound of my beating heart. His nose skims the side of my face, inhaling. “Oh, Sloane, what have you done to me? You have bewitched me.”

  “Is that bad?” I breathe.

  His white teeth shine brightly in the darkness. “I don’t think so,” he admits, softly. “I think it’s a very, very, good thing.”

  I sigh in relief. “Good. That’s good.”

  “Yes, it is,” he whispers more to himself than me. “Come on, let’s go.”

  He runs down the dock, holding my hand, and I try to keep up with his long legs. We come to the end of the lot and instead of heading to the car he pulls me toward the beach and down on to the sand.

  “Siva.” I laugh. “You’re going to get us covered in sand.”

  “I don’t care,” he says and his hands fist my hair. “It’s time I start living.”

  He lies on the sand, and I lie on top of him.

  I press my lips to his smooth collarbone. His skin is soft and warm. I close my eyes as emotion overcomes me. I was falling hard for Siva Kapur, and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to get back up.

  It’s a scary thing, falling in love—you never know if you’re doing it alone or if you’re in it together.

  “Catch me,” I say, suddenly jumping up. I kick my flip-flops off and run as hard and as fast as I can.

  I can hear his laughter behind me. Siva has such a lovely laugh and he does far too little of it. He’s always so serious, so angry, with only those brief moments where his soft side shows. I can hear his arms and legs pumping. Sand arches behind me as a giggle escapes my lips. It’s nice being young and carefree for a change, especially with Siva. After Dev died and Mac tried to … well, I haven’t felt like myself. I felt broken. But now I know I wasn’t broken, I was hurt. You can repair something hurt, like a scraped knee, much easier than you can repair a broken vase. But even it can be fixed with time and patience.

  “I will get you,” he calls from behind me but much too close for comfort. I spur myself forward. A smile is playing on my lips. I feel free. Like if I run fast enough I might take flight with the birds.

  I zig and I zag and then an iron bar wraps around me. Siva laughs, such a deep pleasant sound, and hauls me over his shoulder. He drops down onto the sand and I hold onto his shoulders. For being so lean his shoulders are surprisingly muscular. He lowers me so we are at eye level. We’re both breathing hard from exertion. His violet eyes are piercing, like they’ve got x-ray vision straight through me. I feel like I can’t get enough oxygen to my brain. He does that to me.

  I don’t know how long we sit staring into each other’s eyes. My whole body tingles when he looks at me. I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want this sexy, complicated creature in front of me. He’s killing me.

  “Let’s get back to the house,” he says, a promise winking in his eyes.

  A smile spreads across my face. “Yes,” I say breathlessly.

  He hauls me up and we head to the car.

  We just don’t expect what greets us when we arrive back at the beach house.

  ***

  “What the fuck!” Siva screams and the car slams to a stop rocketing me forward. “Fuck! Who did this! Shit!” He fumes and fusses, hitting the steering wheel in the process. He puts the car in park and hops out. I take a deep breath before I follow him. I know all hell is about to break loose. I close the car door behind me.

  “No, no, no!” yells Siva pulling on his hair. “Fuck!”

  I look at his townhouse and am shocked at the damage that has been done. The door has been forced open and then had something gouged into it so little wood chips litter the ground. All the windows are broken, from the inside, so who knows what all went on in there.

  Siva crumples to the ground, something white clasped in his hand.

  “Fuck that bastard,” he bites out in a scary soft voice. Violence rages behind his eyes on a tightly reigned
leash.

  “Siva,” I say hesitantly trying to get his attention.

  “Don’t touch me!” he yells and I flinch jumping back.

  “Do … do you know who did this?” I ask.

  He unclenches his hand and lets the white piece of paper flutter to the ground. I bend and retrieve it.

  You ruined me. Now I’ll ruin you.

  Who could have done this? His father maybe? But this doesn’t seem like something Rajas would do. Yeah, the man is an evil dick but this doesn’t seem like his style to me.

  Siva finally turns to me. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m going inside to survey the damage. Get back in the car. And Sloane?”

  “Yeah,” I hesitate.

  “Lock the doors.”

  I swallow thickly at his words and fear creeps up my spine.

  He disappears inside the house and his words echo in my ears. Lock the doors.

  I open the car door, settle into the seat, and press the lock button. I begin peering around looking for anything unusual. Nothing seems abnormal. It’s a quiet street. People probably sleeping. Who did this?

  Siva comes out of the house visibly disgruntled. The police show up a moment later. They speak with Siva, taking notes, and then go into the house. All the while I sit and the panic threatens to overwhelm me. I need my medicine.

  I unlock the car and run into the house, not thinking.

  “Sloane,” says Siva gruffly when he sees me. “I told you to wait in the car.” He’s standing in the kitchen with the two officers.

  “I need my medicine. Please,” I beg, hyperventilating in the entryway. I can’t get enough oxygen, and I feel like I’m going to pass out.

  His face softens when he realizes I’m not coming in here for the hell of it.

  “Stay here,” he pleads. “I’ll go get it.”

  He starts toward me and then up the steps. “It’s in the small outside,” gasp for air, “pocket of my,” another gasp, “suitcase.” I sound like I’m having an asthma attack not a panic attack.

  He comes down the steps a moment later with my prescription bottle and a glass of water from the bathroom.

  I empty out two pills into the palm of my hand and pop them in my mouth before swallowing the entire glass of water.

  My breathing immediately begins to slow.

  “Better?” he asks stroking my cheek.

  I nod my head.

  “Good,” he says. “Now go back to the car and wait. I’m going to finish up here and then we’ll leave. Lock the doors,” he adds as if I could forget. I can see he’s worried, a wrinkle forming between his brows. So, I listen. I squish my lips closed and scurry back out to the car, the pills slow my racing heart, and I can feel his eyes boring into my back making sure I make it into the car in one piece. Who does he think is lurking in the shadows?

  I push the lock button on the door and wrap my arms around myself as I wait. It’s getting late … well maybe early is the better term. Time passes and passes and passes.

  I grow bored. I have nothing to do but stare at Siva’s decimated house. It looks so different now than it did this morning … or yesterday. It seemed so inviting but now it looks sinister. The jagged glass shards leer at me. The ruined door mocks me. I finally have to look away.

  I wonder if any of the neighbors saw anything. But it doesn’t seem likely. Wouldn’t they have called the police if they had?

  Someone pulls on the car door, startling me. I jump and my head nearly hits the ceiling but it’s only Siva. I unlock the doors and he slides in, starting the car. He smells faintly of cigarette smoke. I don’t feel like calling him on it and after what happened to his house I feel like I need one too and I’ve never even smoked.

  “Where’s our stuff?” I ask, looking back at the house as he pulls away.

  Siva turns to me and sighs. “Nothing was salvageable. Except your pills,” he says, pulling the bottle from his pocket and handing it to me.

  “Are you okay?” I ask after a while. The car hums around us.

  He sighs, long and shaky. “Yeah, I guess so,” he says.

  “You don’t sound sure,” I hedge. “Do you know who did this?” I ask him again.

  He shrugs. “No, but I have an idea.”

  “Care to share?”

  “No,” he says sharply.

  I look out the window at the racing scenes going by. I don’t know what to say to that. He doesn’t want to talk to me. He doesn’t want to confide in me. But he says he’s trying. But is trying good enough?

  ***

  “Sloane,” someone shakes me. “Sloane.”

  “Huh?” I mumble, coming awake and rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I smudge my mascara in the process. Great, now I look like a raccoon.

  “We’re home,” Siva says.

  Home, this was my home now.

  I stretch my stiff limbs and yawn loudly. I follow Siva to the elevator.

  “I’m sorry our evening was ruined,” Siva says softly while the elevator surges upward toward the flat.

  “No one could have predicted that,” I say, leaning tiredly against the elevator wall. I yawn again. I feel a crick in my neck from sleeping in the car.

  The doors slide open and we head down the hall. I wait a moment for him to unlock the door, then we step into the foyer with me slugging forward. I don’t know how I’ll make it up the steps. I guess I’ll crawl if I have to.

  Siva trudges up the steps behind me and lays a steady hand on my waist.

  I head toward my room but Siva stops me, grabbing my hand. His other hand cups my cheek. “Sloane, I want you to know …” He swallows. “That I … care.” He flinches like the words didn’t come out right.

  I nod my head. He cares. It isn’t a declaration of love but I’m pretty sure it’s all I’m going to get. It’s good enough … for now.

  I sleep in late. It’s the first time I’ve slept in in a long time. It’s nice but not something I want to do every day. The sheets are bunched around my bare legs and I’m still wearing the sweater from last night. I must have been too tired to change into pajamas. The previous evening comes rushing back to me. Siva and I had been having a great time until we got back to the townhouse.

  Had it been fate, maybe, telling me we aren’t meant for each other? My head feels clouded and my mouth dry. I desperately want some ibuprofen and to brush my teeth.

  I tuck my hair behind my ear. I sit up and put my head in my hands. My head hurts and my mouth is fuzzy. This is why I never drink.

  “Sloane,” says Siva and I feel his hand on my back.

  “Jesus Christ!” I cry, jumping up from the bed like I’ve been shocked.

  I turn around and find Siva lying in my bed completely naked except for a strategically placed piece of sheet.

  “Oh, shit,” I say, blushing; maybe his use of language is rubbing off on me. “Did we … did we, um …?” I can’t make my brain or my mouth formulate the words. I can’t think of any other reason why he’d be in his … uh ... state of undress.

  He smiles and his teeth are blinding white. He lies back down on the bed and puts his arms behind his head. “No, we didn’t. You passed out after you undressed me. I now understand why you don’t drink,” he says. “And so you know, in case you were wondering, I have no interest in doing it with someone who is unresponsive, that’s not my cup of tea.” He grins at me, clearly enjoying himself and my blatant embarrassment.

  “You mean … I did …?” I say, motioning to his figure.

  He smiles. “I did say that.”

  “How … um … did my jeans get off?” I ask, and he grins, obviously loving I can’t remember anything. I want to smack him. Alcohol plus my pills is apparently a bad thing. I’d honestly forgotten the little bit of wine I’d had otherwise I would’ve never taken the pills and suffered through.

  I think I remember taking my pants off and going to sleep but clearly it’s not what happened. The naked proof of it is staring me in the face.

  “I do believe I re
moved that particular article of clothing. You passed out before I could get any further,” he says.

  “Shit,” I blurt. “Did I … uh … persuade you in any way?” I flinch at my words but he only smiles.

  “Sloane, I do believe it was a mutual decision.”

  “Oh, God,” I cry and bury my face in my hands. “I’m never ever drinking ever again,” I mumble into my hands. His chuckle fills the room. “I need a shower,” I announce, letting my hands drop, “and you need some clothes.”

  He stands and wraps the sheet around his waist. “Sloane, I do believe it was you who removed my clothes.” He grins cockily, so entirely pleased at this whole situation.

  “Never drinking ever, ever, again,” I mumble before heading into the bathroom. He follows. “Siva,” I say warningly.

  I turn to find him grinning. “You need a shower, I need a shower, let’s save water by taking one together.”

  “When did you turn into such a conservationist?” I snap. If I could slam the door in his face I would.

  “Two point two seconds ago,” he says with a wide smile.

  “Knock yourself out,” I say pointing to the shower. “It’s all yours but I certainly will not be joining you.”

  “Sloane, don’t be like this,” he pouts playfully. Normally, I would love this playful back and forth with him, but I am so not in the mood for it today.

  “I think I have a right to be.” I put my hands on my hips.

  He grins at me and says, “I’m the one that’s naked. I think I should be mad but I’m not.” His hand cups my cheek. “Oh, Sloane, what are you doing to me,” he murmurs, and presses a quick kiss to my lips. He starts to leave and then stops and looks over his shoulder at me. “Shower and then we’ll go out for breakfast, or maybe it’s lunch now. We’ll go for brunch.” He smiles, pleased, like he’s the one who invented the word.

  “Sounds good, Siva,” I mutter. Once he’s out the door I close and lock it behind him before sinking down onto the floor. My heart is all over the place and my brain is following it. My heart yearns for Siva and my brain agrees with it but a nagging voice in the back of my head won’t shut up. What is it saying?