Accidental Makeovers

by Carol Maloney Scott

  “Their gift sales would triple. Actually, that’s a great idea. A lingerie fashion show.”

  While Diamond’s wheels are turning, Katie blurts out, “So are you going to tell them?”

  Shit. Here’s a note to self—when you accidentally sleep with an authority figure before you start a new job, and you just broke up with your boyfriend the week before, do not text your blabber-mouthed, oldest friend and tell her. Unless of course she isn’t intimately enmeshed in the same circle of friends as your ex, his brother, and his back stabbing girlfriend.

  “No, I haven’t said anything…it’s still so new…”

  Cassie takes the baby, who has started to fuss. I’m sure my negative vibes were seeping into her peaceful little body.

  Cassie places the baby at her breast and stares at me, all wide-eyed and excited. “Is there a new man?”

  “I bet it’s the hot suit guy.” Zoe leans forward in anticipation.

  “No, she wouldn’t…oh my God, you did. You little minx.” Cassie bites her lower lip, probably jealous that she has six weeks to heal before she can indulge in her favorite past time. With her husband, of course.

  Without saying the words, everyone has come to the conclusion that I slept with Eric, and since Katie knows, there is no way out of this now.

  I go on to tell them minimum information, and field their rapid fire questions. Yes, he was amazing. Yes, he’s a nice guy. No, I’m not sure if it’s going to turn into anything. Yes, I’m going to see him again. No, Max doesn’t know.

  Diamond has been eerily quiet. Max is going to know. Probably in the next hour.

  Eric

  “She’s edgy. I love that about her. Did you see her tattoos? And her hair? I’m sorry, Jen, but I’m smitten this time.”

  I stab my steak and shove it in my mouth. Just thinking about Bianca makes me ravenous.

  Jennifer moves her salad around and says, “Yes, I saw all of that, and so will our customers. I’m not sure what Raven was thinking. She does seem savvy with her trade, and she wasn’t a complete dunce when we were talking about marketing. But she has a lot to learn.”

  “She does, but we can help teach her. She’s a diamond in the rough.”

  Jennifer laughs and takes a sip of her water. “Yes, you can teach her. Oh wait, we’re talking about business. You know, this My Fair Lady thing has backfired on you in the past.”

  “This is different and you’re just jealous.”

  Jennifer and I had a thing going for a while, but only when I was in town, which wasn’t often. It’s not like we ever actually dated, or Jennifer has any actual feelings. Okay, I suppose she does, but not for me.

  “Please, Eric. Don’t flatter yourself. I was a bit disappointed this morning, but I’ve recovered. You didn’t need to take me to dinner to explain all of this. If I were you, I would be more worried about Raven’s reaction.”

  Raven and I did date. Actually we almost got married. I sort of blame myself for her poor rebound marriage choice. Hopefully she will be jet setting long enough this time to get me, Corey and all of the drama out of her system. Once she sees how much I’ve helped her protégé, I’m sure to get her blessing. She dumped me, after all, and her parents still love me.

  “I’m not worried about her.”

  I wipe my face with the white cloth napkin, and take a generous gulp of wine. I am doing everything with such gusto tonight.

  I can’t believe I have to wait to see Bianca. I can’t even remember if she told me what night she doesn’t have her son. I know she doesn’t tonight, but I can’t exactly turn up at her house and crawl into her bedroom window so her mother doesn’t hear me. She needs her own place, and a set schedule with the kid. But one thing at a time.

  “My main concern is the salon. I don’t want to have to hide my relationship with Bianca from the staff. I’m a little worried about Amy. Gloria is a sweetheart and Stephanie is a bored teen, but Amy is a bit on the jealous side.”

  “Do you really think every woman wants you, Eric?”

  “Not every woman. But you know how she is. Did she give Bianca a warm reception?” I raise my eyebrow and wait for her response.

  She folds her hands on her lap and sighs. “Of course she did. Amy is my protégé.”

  Bianca

  “A party on Thursday, huh? That sounds nice.”

  I was a little worried that Eric wouldn’t call. At home in the bathtub, I brought the phone in just in case.

  “You’re sure you’re free on Thursday? And I would love to see you before then, too. Do you have the baby tomorrow night?”

  There is nothing that douses the passion of new romance like discussing child care schedules. And unfortunately, I’m not free tomorrow night. I have Mick, and then Thursday I also have him because of an extra band rehearsal that was just added. And then there’s band rehearsal on Friday.

  I begin to explain my schedule, and already I’m apologizing.

  “It’s just so new. I didn’t want to involve lawyers, since it’s not a divorce. Max and I will sit down like adults and work something out.”

  “I understand completely. I’m just anxious to be alone with you. How about lunch tomorrow?”

  “I don’t know if I have time during the work day—”

  “No, silly girl. I mean to actually eat lunch together. Did you think I am just looking to get you into bed? I mean, I absolutely am, but I can wait. Why don’t you tell me what you’re wearing?”

  Since I’m in the tub, it’s a stimulating conversation. I smile after we hang up and reach for my towel.

  Lunch tomorrow. I didn’t ask him if he’s mentioned to anyone at the salon that we are seeing each other. I’m afraid of the answer—either way.

  Gloria is nice enough, and Stephanie barely looked up from her texting to say hello.

  But Jennifer is a bit frosty. I sense something more than frustration over being handed an inexperienced employee.

  And Amy. She was a treat. Not one speck of makeup on her waif-like face. She looked me up and down like I was a carnival attraction.

  “So Bianca, have you ever worked in a high-end salon?”

  “Oh, you’re a mother. You know, this isn’t a 9 to 5 job.”

  “How do you know Raven again?”

  “I bet Eric is already flirting with you.”

  Basically she covered every offensive topic she could think of in a span of thirty minutes. I praised the Lord when her first client came in, and I’m not even religious.

  Amy is never going to be my biggest fan, especially when she finds out the girl with the dirty tattoos and ring in her nose has snagged the hot, rich guy.

  As I put on my soft, cotton lounging pajamas, I wonder. Have I snagged him? Or is my newfound place in the world about to take a nosedive?

  Max

  “Oh hey, Diamond. What’s up? Missed your cookin’ tonight, but I decided to give you and Rob some alone time.”

  I grab a handful of nachos and scoop up a bunch of dip, cradling my cell phone on my shoulder. One of the perks of having a city apartment is food delivery from the cuisine of many lands. Tonight is Mexican.

  “Well, you are welcome anytime, Sweetie. I just wanted to catch you before Bianca tries to weasel her way out of the truth.”

  I choke a little on my mouthful of beef, cheese and other assorted deliciousness. After washing it down with a beer, I say, “Weasel out of what?”

  “Well, let’s say she’s moved on quickly this time.”

  “Every time she breaks up with me, she ends up with another guy. It never means anything.”

  “This time it might be different. It’s the suit guy. Eric is his name, and she has already slept with him. Isn’t that unreal? She started the new job today. I guess they had a pre-work meeting.”

  “Well, it’s her grave. Not my problem. But I appreciate you keeping me in the loop.” She doesn’t need to know this isn’t news, and I already know. “Listen, I do miss her, and I wish I could get her back. But maybe this
time it’s for real. The break up. And I have a number in my wallet of another pretty redhead, and I have a date. But thanks, Diamond. You’re a gem. Get it?”

  “Yes, Max. I get your brilliant pun. I’m just tired of the Buczkowski brothers being ridiculed and unappreciated. She’ll fall on her face. That guy is out of her league. He’s slummin’ it.”

  Even though I’m pretty pissed, I don’t want to see Bianca get hurt. Or talked about that way.

  “Anyway, you should definitely call the chick from the bounce house. Rob told me she was hot. Not as hot as me of course, but I think bouncing with her is what you need to cleanse your…palate. So to speak.”

  I thank my brother’s girlfriend for her way with words and hang up. I wolf down the rest of my dinner and swig my beer.

  Amber is attractive, and she seemed nice. I am not planning on taking Diamond’s advice and luring her into anything, though. But maybe a date with a good woman will be a nice change of pace. She won’t nag me and since she has a kid, she’ll be okay with my schedule. What do I have to lose?

  Bianca

  That was pure luck. I called Max this morning to ask him to switch the schedule. I knew he wouldn’t be able to take Mick on Thursday, so my mother would have to watch him, and Max would have to give up a night if I took his Wednesday. He cheerfully agreed to let me have Mick on Wednesday, so I wouldn’t have to go more than one night without seeing him.

  My head hurts from all of this planning, but at least I am free for the party on Thursday.

  I park my car in the lot behind the salon and grab my purse. I take another look in the mirror. I have my first client today, I am meeting Eric for lunch, and the cosmetics rep is coming. My face needs to be flawless.

  As I approach the salon, I see Amy through the window. She’s gently touching the hair of a woman in her chair, presumably discussing what she would like done.

  Amy is pretty in a soft, ethereal way, like a fairy. I don’t understand why she doesn’t wear makeup. She would be stunning with the right color and contour.

  “Hi, everyone.” I open the door and the bell tinkles my arrival.

  “Good morning, Bianca. Glad to see you came back for day two.” Gloria smiles but rolls her eyes towards Amy.

  It’s nice that I already have a co-conspirator, but I will not talk badly about Amy with Gloria. I know she saw the nastiness yesterday, but they’ve all been working together for a long time. I am not going to make the mistake of gossiping. I have already made the mistake of sleeping with the financial/legal/HR advisor.

  I am learning that Eric wears many hats in the Alexanders’ businesses.

  I shake off my doubts and walk to the back to grab a coffee. Amy is chatting with her client, so I can avoid speaking to her without seeming rude.

  “Oh, there you are. Mrs. Grimes will be here in twenty. You need to get set up. I’m sure you had to drop off your child, but it would be a good idea if you got here a little earlier, especially since you’re new at this.”

  Jennifer delivers her whole speech with a smile that contradicts the scolding, but I can’t argue with her. It’s just that it’s hard getting out of the house early in the morning with Mick. And Claire’s house is way on the other side of town, but I just can’t deal with a new daycare situation right now. Mick just started with Mrs. McDonald and I don’t want to uproot him. I’ll need to set my alarm earlier. Even Max has already been at work for hours. Hmm…and I always comment on his laziness.

  I snap out of my day dream and respond to my boss, who has now crossed her arms across her chest. And is tapping her foot.

  “Yes, of course. I didn’t anticipate so much traffic coming back towards Washington Hill. I will definitely be here earlier tomorrow.”

  I put my coffee mug back in the sink, and gesture toward my work station. “I’m so excited to have my first client. I’ll get right on it.”

  She watches me walk away and when I look back, she’s gone.

  Thank God I’m meeting Eric at lunch. I was sort of annoyed that he didn’t want to come here to pick me up, but this crew is not ready for full disclosure.

  And who knows? Maybe after another week or so of this budding romance, there won’t be anything to disclose.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Max

  “Boy, did I trick her.” I toss my phone into the cup holder and glance at Rob, who is wolfing down something Diamond made for him.

  “What are you talking about?” His words are all garbled as he chomps on his homemade egg sandwich. I was informed that’s Canadian bacon sticking out there, not normal, American bacon. I guess north of the border they have better pigs. La de da.

  “Birdie. She just called on her way to work to ask if I can switch days with her. She has a ‘work thing’ on Thursday, and she wants my Wednesday. Can you believe it?” I shake my head and smirk.

  “You have practice on Thursday.”

  “Yes, I know. Sharon is going to watch Mick on Thursday night. I didn’t even take her Tuesday.”

  Rob licks his fingers like a slob, and starts gulping his coffee. “It’s like watching a ping pong ball trying to follow this shit. I mean poop.”

  “Poop?”

  “Yeah, I’m trying to watch my language, like we talked about the other day, with the kids. At the park? When you almost punched out an old lady?”

  “Yes, I remember. And I was not that much of an asshole.”

  “Hmm, I don’t know. You were a bit of a son of a biscuit.”

  “You realize there are no kids in the van right now?”

  “Yeah, but let’s say little Ruby’s language has become more colorful since I’ve been around. Apparently she has said a few things in front of her father, and Diamond’s ex is a pretty uptight guy. But he’s right. If I ever had a kid, I wouldn’t want it to talk like that.”

  “If you had a kid? You realize that right now you do have a kid, but…never mind. So as I was saying, I am free and clear for my date on Wednesday. I’m sure Bianca has a date, too, but fuck it. I’m going to take care of myself.”

  “Well, technically if you have a date maybe you won’t have to take care of yourself.” Rob grins like an asshole.

  “Very funny. I will have you know that I do not intend to take advantage of this nice and beautiful woman.”

  “And you think I’m the one who’s a little off lately?”

  “What? I’m not that kind of guy. Sure, if I was to hook up with a chick like Diamond…”

  Rob sits up straighter. “Hey, shut the fu…fudgesicle…you’re right this is ridiculous. I’m just not gonna talk to the kid anymore. That’ll solve it.”

  I park the car in the lot of our new commercial job and say, “Yeah, that’s a good plan.”

  My brother has zero sense when it comes to women, and no family inclinations. Yet he hasn’t been dumped.

  Diamond may be a wild woman, but she’s right about one thing—I have a tremendous opportunity to show Bianca what a good guy I am. Make her believe in me. I’ve got a couple of calls out to realtors to start looking at houses. Rob’s studio isn’t cuttin’ it anymore and I can’t keep hanging out at Diamond’s. I feel like a schmuck.

  I know Bianca will expect me to continue to act like a jealous nut over this douchebag guy, but I am going to keep a lid on that behavior. I can raise my standards, too. Now of course if Amber is really into me, I’m not going to use her to make Birdie jealous. And who knows, maybe she will also think I’m a jerk. Or I’ll end up marrying her.

  No, I’m not becoming bipolar or schizo. I’m just open to anything.

  Bianca

  “Okay, Mrs. Grimes. Are you looking for makeup for a special occasion, or just looking to change your look?”

  “Oh, please call me Linda. And no, nothing special. I am just tired of the same ole, same ole, you know? I want a look with pizazz!”

  She shoots imaginary sparkles out of her fingertips as she widens her eyes.

  “Sure, we can do that. Let’s start with asses
sing your best colors.”

  “Ooh, and I really want to learn how to make the wings with the eyeliner, like the girls do. My granddaughter is an expert at it, and I also saw something about a smoky eye on You Tube. Do you know the one?”

  Sure, Linda. There’s only one video on You Tube about the ‘smoky eye.’

  Linda is in her sixties for sure, but I can make her look good. She’s got decent skin and not too many wrinkles. Clear blue eyes. I need to use the same diplomacy I did at the tattoo shop when someone wanted Axl to paint a duck on their ass, or at weddings when Mom or Violet asked me to cut off a guest’s alcohol before they took a header into the wedding cake.

  “How about you let me design a custom face just for you, and you can let me know if it’s what you were thinking?”

  Linda smiles and continues to chat about her favorite makeup, and how she wore fake eyelashes when she was a girl, and how her Harold wouldn’t notice if she came home looking like one of the guys in that band where they make themselves look like animals.

  “You mean Kiss?”

  “Yes, that’s the one. I actually used to like them in the seventies, when I used to party.”

  She blushes and covers her mouth. We go on to discuss music, and I tell her about the band. Then I remember I really no longer have any affiliation with the band, which brings us to my breakup.

  Oh well, everyone is getting an earful of my life story now.

  I glance over at Amy, who is working on highlighting her client’s hair. The woman looks like she’s almost asleep. I’m not sure if that’s because she’s been sitting there so long, or because Amy hasn’t said a word to her.

  I know client interaction is encouraged because I can already see that Gloria is everyone’s best friend. No, Amy is boring, and extremely nosy. If she tries to make small talk with her client, she’ll miss out on hearing my every word.

  I can’t imagine what Amy already has against me. She clearly isn’t interested in makeup, and I, in no way, threaten her position. If I tried to cut someone’s hair they’d look like a blind, drunk rat got a hold of the scissors.