Winter Heat

by Kennedy Fox

  I take a minute before making my presence known to admire how the cotton hugs his broad shoulders. The crisp, white material is a stark contrast against his olive skin.

  “You plan on staring all night, or are you going to come eat before your food gets cold?”

  My mind had started to drift to thoughts of what he’d look like stripping out of them, but his words jolt me back to the present.

  I cough, shaking my head to rid the visual I’ve painted in my mind.

  “I wasn’t staring,” I lie, walking into the kitchen. My plate of food is left waiting on the counter next to Merric.

  “You were staring,” he argues. A small grin curves the edge of his mouth, knowing he’s caught me in a lie.

  Just when I’m about to disagree further, Merric points over at the window, seeing our reflection shining back at us.

  “I saw you… staring.”

  Rolling my eyes, I stalk around the island and stick my sandwich in the microwave. I use it as an opportunity to avoid answering his question.

  Once the microwave beeps, I pull my plate out and turn, leaning my hip against the edge of the counter. I stare past Merric, taking a bite of my sandwich, noticing the cobblestone fireplace in the living room, which spans from floor to ceiling, is now on.

  The silence between us ticks by, making it more awkward between us each second.

  “Has anyone ever told you how great your people skills are, Merric? I bet you hear all the time how people flock to your infectious personality,” I ask, deadpanned.

  He stares down, brushing the crumbs off his fingers onto his empty plate. He shakes his head, chuckling when he finally looks back up at me.

  “One would say the same about you and your sarcasm, Oaklyn. I hope you plan to put it to good use after college.”

  “I’m sure it’ll come in handy in some way.”

  He raises his brow in question, waiting for me to elaborate. “Well, my degree was originally in hospitality and tourism. I loved the thought of being an event planner. I’ve always been told I’m the life of the party.” I smirk. “Organization and punctuality have never been my strong suit, and well…” I shrug.

  Merric’s grin stretches across his face. I’ve never seen him smile so wide, and it does crazy things to my stomach. My heart beats wildly at the sound of his irresistible laugh.

  “At least you know and can admit your faults.”

  I nod. “I figured it was best to lead with my strengths, so I switched gears and focused more on the creative side of marketing.”

  “I’m sorry about earlier,” Merric says, his tone shifting. He moves his plate to the side, resting his elbows on the table. “Things at the office have been, well, tense. I’m sure you must notice I’ve been feeling the same. I’m sorry I took it out on you.”

  I want to ask him if it has anything to do with the last time we saw each other, but I choose to let it go. I’ve chalked it up to him being in a tough place over the loss of his father. Not to mention, he’s opening up and apologizing, which I don’t think happens too often for him.

  “You want to talk about it?”

  He chuckles for a moment before saying, “Honestly, no. I appreciate your offer. I just don’t want to think about it at all right now. I’d rather enjoy my time away while I can.”

  My heart clenches, my face softening at his words.

  “I understand. Lord knows I could use a break after finals this week stressing me out.”

  I stare past him again, a thought coming to mind.

  “I was thinking about curling up and finding a movie to watch. You wanna join me?”

  My eyes finally find Merric’s, and he appears to consider it for a moment before shaking his head.

  “I think I’m going to call it a night. I had to head into the office earlier this morning, and it’s going to be another early morning tomorrow.”

  The disappointment stings, but I try to convince myself I’m not bothered by his response. He’s right, and honestly, I expected it.

  I glance back down at my plate, not feeling as hungry as I thought I was an hour ago. I take another bite of my sandwich, peering up to find Merric looking at me before his eyes break away.

  I know I should probably head to bed myself, but something tells me trying to crawl into bed knowing Merric is asleep in the room next door won’t make it any easier.

  He pushes himself to stand. I watch him cross the room toward the sink, rinsing off his plate. I wonder what life for him is like, picturing him living alone in his high-rise apartment, overlooking downtown Myrtle Beach.

  I chuckle to myself as if I have him all figured out, even though this is the most we’ve ever spoken to each other.

  I once again snap myself from my thoughts as Merric finishes, turning to find me laughing at nothing. He probably thinks I’m crazy.

  “I’m gonna head to bed,” he says.

  “All right.” I nod. “I guess if you need me, I’ll be out here.”

  My cheeks heat, realizing how it sounds. What could he possibly need me for when he’s going to sleep?

  Oh, God.

  He laughs. It’s deep and throaty. I’m unable to control myself; I stare up and find him watching me with a small smile curving his mouth.

  “Good to know,” he says, running his hand along his chin. My eyes dart to his arm once again, watching it flex with the movement.

  “Good night, Oaklyn.”

  The way he says my name sends a flutter to my stomach. It’s not until he disappears behind his door before I’m able to pull myself out of my haze of desire.

  Yeah… good night, all right.

  Chapter Three

  As if my body can sense I’m no longer alone, I’m jolted awake.

  It takes a second for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, only the subtle glow of the fireplace casting a soft light over the room. The fire crackles, sputtering just like my heart. My eyes dart around the space before falling on Merric.

  He’s seated on the chair across from me, gripping a small glass of liquor in his hand. His eyes look lost, distant, as he lifts the glass to his lips, tossing back what’s left. He grits his teeth, leaning forward to set the empty glass on the coffee table, and as he does, his eyes lock on mine.

  His nostrils flare, his chest puffing out with a deep inhale while we stare at each other. Something about his look forces a shift between us. The stillness of the dark night seems to strip away our walls.

  I lose track of time and eventually, my eyes break apart from his, traveling down to the white t-shirt he’s still wearing. I pause, lingering on how his legs sit open, the relaxed way his body reclines in the seat. Maybe it’s the liquor, but he looks so much like he did the night we kissed. Calmer, more at ease, and it’s a comforting sight.

  “You talk in your sleep.”

  My brows furrow. I prop up on my elbow, running my hand over my hair, checking to make sure my wild locks haven’t managed to break free.

  “I do?”

  He nods, finally breaking my stare to look back at the fire.

  My mind tries to sift through any recollection of what I may have been dreaming about, but I come up empty. I don’t normally remember my dreams, at least not in detail, and the ones I do are often memories. What if it had to do with the night we kissed?

  A flush creeps across my cheeks, dipping my chin down toward my chest, wondering what I may have said aloud with my guard down.

  I rake my teeth over my lower lip, anxious for him to tell me what I may have said. He turns back toward me, his eyes finding mine once again.

  “Most of it was incoherent really… until you said my name.”

  My body heats, gripping the blanket in my hand. Mixtures of yellow and orange flickering from the fire highlight his face. Whatever he’s thinking as he tells me, I’m unable to read, and I hope I’m as hard to feel out as he is.

  Despite his relaxed posture, his emotions are locked up tight. His words come out cold and distant.

  �
�Oh…”

  I don’t know what more to say. I shrug off the blanket, feeling hot from the mixture of embarrassment and the warmth of the fire. I move to sit at the end of the couch, further away from Merric, needing the distance to sort through my thoughts.

  His eyes drift down my body, stopping on my chest. I forgot I had slipped off my bra when Merric went to bed.

  His mouth opens slightly, his tongue dragging out over his lower lip.

  “You said my name,” he exhales harshly. “Then, you asked me to touch you.”

  Sucking in a sharp breath, my heart is damn near ready to beat out of my chest, heaving with every struggled inhale.

  Merric’s eyes fall once again on my breasts. He eats up every inch of my body, pausing to stare intently on my lips before locking eyes with me once again.

  I picture Merric’s hands on my body again. Only I don’t stop my mind from drifting off to think about all the ways he could pleasure me, tease me. Now, as he’s put the thought back in my mind, it’s all I can see.

  My mouth goes dry, dragging my tongue over my lips, wetting my skin.

  “Oaklyn…” Merric murmurs, his voice raspy.

  I’m unsure if he meant to say it aloud, so I wait for him to continue.

  “Is that what you want?” he asks.

  I don’t know where the confidence comes from or what’s come over me as I move to stand. My shirt rides up, leaving a sliver of skin showing.

  Merric’s eyes travel leisurely down my body, his throat bobs at the sight of my skin, and his fingers dig into the chair like he’s resisting the urge to touch me.

  As if realizing I haven’t answered him, his eyes find mine. He tilts his head back to look at me while I close the distance between us, taking a step between his legs. Other than me moving closer to him, tempting us both, neither one of us has made a move to cross a line.

  I lean forward, pressing the palms of my hands against his thighs. The move gives him a straight shot down my shirt, my breasts falling forward, and I know I have him right where I want him when he lets out a low guttural moan.

  I grin, his nostrils flare, and his jaw clenches.

  “I want you to do more than touch me, Merric, but we can start there.”

  His hand shoots out, grabbing my forearm, pulling me into his lap. I go all too eagerly, climbing on his lap, straddling his thighs. The thin cotton of our pants leaves little to disguise the growing need between us.

  He tilts his head forward, his mouth sucking and nipping at my chest over my collarbone and up my neck. He pauses for a moment, his breath fanning across my heated skin. I hear him inhale, his hands sliding down my sides to grip my hips as he groans out, “You smell so fucking good.”

  Something about hearing Merric talk dirty makes it ten times sexier.

  I press my palms against his chest, my fingers digging into his sculpted chest, loving the glazed look on his eyes. They burn into me as I lift my shirt over my head, tossing it behind him.

  He runs his hands up the sides of my body, sending a wave of chills through my body, despite the fireplace heating the room.

  Gripping his chin in my hand, I lean forward until our lips are only a few centimeters away from touching. His eyes drop to my mouth while I rake my teeth over my lower lip.

  I press my mouth against his ear and whisper, “I want the feel of your hands burned into my memory.”

  It’s as if my words grant him the permission he’s been waiting for, unleashing something inside him, and he no longer holds back.

  He reaches his hand around me, holding my body against him. His mouth finds its way to my breasts. I grip his face in my hands, not wanting him to stop. The combination of his tongue licking and sucking my nipple sends a shot of desire straight to my core.

  He cups my breast, using his thumb to brush over my puckered skin. My hips buck, grinding against him, creating a delicious friction with each thrust of my hips.

  His hand glides up my body, grabbing my throat, pulling back enough for me to see the desire simmering in his eyes.

  I brush my fingers over the front of our pants, feeling how wet I am through the material before running my fingers lower to cup him.

  “Jesus.” He sucks a deep breath. “What are you doing to me?”

  There’s something so arousing about how his body reacts to me. I love how he lets me find our pleasure while never letting go of my throat, reminding me who’s in control.

  I rub my hand over him, dipping my fingers beneath the waistband of his pants and into his boxer briefs. His cock jolts when my finger brushes over the smooth tip, tracing the small bead of cum leaking.

  I slide back on his legs, giving myself more room to explore his body, and he releases his hold on me.

  “I want to taste you,” I moan, moving to stand in front of him. I step away to grab my pillow off the couch, tossing it on the floor at his feet. I grin devilishly, his jaw ticking at the sight of me kneeling before him.

  He reaches his hand out, dragging his thumb over my lower lip before I suck it into my mouth.

  “Do you know how hard it was for me to try to sleep earlier, knowing you were here, and we had the house to ourselves?”

  “Why did you?”

  “I never thought this would happen. Not again.”

  His words, the admission, are mixed with guilt and hesitation.

  “Did you want it to, though?” My voice cracks at the end, revealing my uncertainty. It’s not at all from my own reservations, but the fear of him pushing me away again.

  He falls back against the chair, his eyes focusing on something behind me before I move to climb back on his lap. I push on his chest, trying to force the response out of him, but it doesn’t come.

  Like a pendulum swinging, he was hot, and now we’re back to cold Merric.

  “Answer me!”

  “Of course I did, Oaklyn. I do. It just… it doesn’t change the fact how in the back of my mind, I know when we wake up tomorrow and we’re faced with reality, how messy this will end up being.”

  I nod, hating the sting of rejection from him.

  He reaches for me when I pull back, moving off his lap. I push his hand away from me, no longer interested in continuing this conversation.

  “Oaklyn, wait. I wasn’t saying…”

  “Good night, Merric!” I interrupt, picking up my shirt off the floor, tugging it over my head. I don’t bother to grab my pillow, knowing there’s another one in my bedroom.

  “Please don’t go. That didn’t come out the right way.”

  “Don’t worry about it, Merric. Nothing you say ever does. We’ll pretend nothing happened tomorrow. Okay? We don’t need anything getting messy for you.”

  He drops his hand, letting out an exasperated sigh.

  There’s nothing to be worried about because, as far as I’m concerned, this whole thing never happened. It was all a dream. If only I could wake up and forget it like all the others.

  Chapter Four

  Just like I had expected, when we wake the next morning, it’s as though nothing ever happened. Standing in the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I get lost staring outside at the snow over the rolling hills.

  The view from the sliding glass doors overlooking the patio is breathtaking. I think about what Merric had said last night. It has me thinking about what life would be like if I woke up next to Merric every morning. If this was where we lived together, and we never had to face the reality of our situation.

  The sound of his throat clearing behind me breaks me from my thoughts, turning to find him watching me. A pensive expression is on his face and I wish for once I could read him better, but as always, his thoughts are his and his alone.

  “Did you sleep well?”

  I smile in disbelief. Is he serious?

  “Not at all.”

  He nods as if saying I’m not the only one. I want to push him more about what he said last night. Ask him why things had to be messy. It was the reason I had hardly gotten a wink o
f sleep.

  I get the feeling this is who Merric is. He doesn’t let anyone get too close to him, and anyone who does, he only pushes them away.

  “I’ll get my stuff together and will be ready in about fifteen minutes,” I murmur.

  He nods but doesn’t move from where he’s standing at the end of the island facing me. When I move to pass by him, his arm reaches out, stopping me. The feel of his hands on me causes my body to flinch. I wince, hating how he can keep his emotions locked up, and my body is betraying me, giving everything away.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispers, and for a second, I wonder if I even heard him correctly. “This isn’t about you. Okay? We’re in different places in our lives. I know our parents aren’t together anymore, but we know what people would think.”

  “Who the fuck cares what people think?” I blurt out.

  His eyes widen, clearly not expecting me to feel the way I do.

  “I hadn’t realized you were someone who cared so much about other people’s opinions, Merric. Especially ones that are none of their damn business.”

  He pulls his arm back, his jaw locked as he stares down at me. He doesn’t say a word.

  So what if our parents were married? His dad passed three years ago, and despite their relationship, Merric was hardly ever in my life. Who cares about our age difference?

  It’s never changed the way I felt when he touched me, how badly I’ve wanted to break down this shell around him, pushing me and everyone else away.

  “I’m not going to try to convince you to change your mind. I deserve way better than that.” I laugh, shaking my head. I want to throw my hands up and just forget this entire conversation.

  “I’m letting it go. You’re right, it would make things messy, and I’m not quite sure I even want to go down that road myself.” Drawing in a breath, I release it before saying, “I’ll meet you outside in fifteen minutes.”

  This time, I don’t bother to wait for him to respond, and he doesn’t stop me either. I focus all the energy I have on changing my clothes and getting everything packed up so we can hit the road. The quicker we make it there, the easier it will be for me to put some distance between myself and Merric.