Winter Heat

by Kennedy Fox

  When I pull my suitcase toward the front door, Merric is standing there waiting, dressed in a white dress shirt and a pair of dark denim jeans. They fit his legs perfectly. For a moment, I wish I could ask him to get rid of the coat he’s wearing, wanting to get a better view of his firm ass when he turns.

  “Get in the car. I’ll take care of it,” he mumbles, reaching for my suitcase.

  The snow has stopped, and most of the main roads are clear, making the rest of our drive easier than it had been the night before. Without the weather distracting us, I can feel how the night is still weighing on our minds. In the quietness of his car, there’s no escaping Merric, making it impossible to think about anything else.

  Chase Rice comes on the radio, singing about kissing a woman all over her body, making her scream. I notice how Merric’s hand grips the shifter, clearing his throat as if trying to control himself. Turning to look out the window, I squeeze my eyes shut, attempting to ignore the lyrics.

  I’m relieved when we finally make it to Richmond, pulling up outside the home my mom and Maxwell had once shared. It’s a beautiful ranch with five bedrooms and more space than one person could ever need, but she insists it’s her home. As long as she’s still breathing, she won’t leave the place they had created together.

  The last three years have been hard on her since he passed. It all happened so quickly after his heart attack. I know she misses him and wishes she would've had more time.

  Although most of my stuff has been boxed up and put in storage or donated when I went off to college, I still stay in my old bedroom whenever I visit. Merric has always slept in the guest bedroom on the other side of the house.

  My mom is waiting for us on the front step the moment we pull into the driveway. She has the house all decorated and ready for Christmas. A massive twelve-foot tree stands tall in the entryway with another in the living room. White lights and garland are detailing throughout. My eyes stop, falling on the burning fireplace mixed in with the soft sound of Christmas music playing.

  Merric has shed his coat, hanging it on the rack near the door. He stands across from me, leaning against the pillar separating the two rooms.

  When I finally glance over to look at him, I see he noticed how my eyes had paused on the fireplace. He flashes me a small smile, and for the first time since last night, my body sags in relief. My face softens toward him, and he notices, too, winking at me before turning back to my mom.

  Merric’s phone beeps with what I assume is an incoming text message. I hate the twist of jealousy in my stomach, my thoughts drifting off to who it might be from. I wonder who he spends his time with back home in Myrtle Beach.

  “I have a few business-related calls I need to return and check my emails. I’m going to sneak away to my room for a few minutes, and I’ll meet up with you both shortly.”

  Whatever it’s about, I’m glad to see it doesn’t resurface any of the stress he felt yesterday.

  “No worries, hon.” My mom reaches her hand out, patting Merric on the arm. “I promised Oaklyn chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. It’s been a while since she’s updated me on her college life.”

  “It’s been wild, so be ready,” I joke.

  My body burns from the heat of Merric’s penetrating gaze, turning dark with his head tilted to the side in question.

  “I can only imagine,” Merric replies, his voice strained.

  He shakes his head, bending to grab his bag. I inhale a sharp breath at the sight of his ass in those jeans, sending me into a coughing fit.

  “I need a drink,” I mutter between coughs. I dash past him, toward the kitchen, and can make out the sound of his laugh as I do. My mom follows along behind me, enticing Merric to hurry so he can enjoy some pancakes, too.

  I swipe a bottle of water from the fridge and quickly take a large gulp. Merric stands in the corner of the kitchen, his eyes on me. He doesn’t seem to care that my mom is a few feet away, pulling ingredients out of the cupboards.

  I want to ask him to stay, to eat with us, but I know we each need space. I’m still trying to wrap my head around what happened last night, and reality is dead center in our face the longer we’re together with my mom.

  “We don’t have to be at the church until three,” my mom mentions. Merric nods, silently saying he’ll leave us to our chat, as he backs out and disappears down the hall.

  My heart aches in disappointment when I watch him go. I join my mom near the stove, ready to help her with the cooking.

  “I was at the church this morning helping to get everything set up. It’s so beautiful. I can’t wait for you to see it.”

  I haven’t seen my cousin Penelope in almost three years, when I got to meet her husband-to-be Nathan. We’ve kept in touch through social media. Nathan seems like a nice guy. Even then, I could tell how completely in love with her he was.

  My mom pours batter on the skillet as the song changes to “Santa Baby.” She tosses her head back, twirling, with her arms out wide.

  “How was your drive this morning? Is everything okay between you and Merric? I noticed he seemed tense. Did he seem that way to you? I mean, I guess ‘tenser’ for Merric.” She flaps her arms around while she talks. “You know what I mean, right? He’s always so firm.”

  She puckers her lips, emphasizing her impression of Merric. My face heats at the mention of things being okay between the two of us. I attempt to wrangle myself in, knowing if she catches a whiff of anything being off, she won’t give up until I spill it. It’s just how she is, always eagerly digging into everyone else’s business.

  “I mean, he seemed fine. We didn’t talk much, honestly. You know me, it made for a long drive, but we’re here now, right?” I hold my hands up, plastering a fake smile on my face.

  “I wonder if he’s seeing anyone. He probably needs to get laid,” she whispers, covering her mouth before playfully wiggling her brows. She glances around like she wants to make sure he didn’t hear her.

  “Oh, God!” I laugh, my face heating at the mention.

  “Penelope will have quite a few of her friends there. They’re a little bit younger, but maybe we could try to hook him up with someone at the wedding. You know, help him relax a little.” She giggles, flipping the pancakes.

  My stomach flips at the mention of Merric with anyone else. Maybe it’s ridiculous, he’s free to do what he wants. It’s just the thought of watching him hook up with someone in front of me fills me with dread.

  “I don’t think Merric needs our help finding someone. Whoever ends up with him is a lucky woman.”

  Chapter Five

  The wedding is stunning, and Penelope makes the most beautiful bride. Even the reception that followed is an intimate and romantic setting with white lights draped from the ceiling above. Eucalyptus garland adorns the center of the tables, woven amongst gold candles, setting a soft and elegant mood.

  The bridal party’s table is showcased by a backdrop of sheer, open curtains along the large bay windows. Falling snow provides a cozy, winter-wonderland atmosphere.

  “Would you like to dance?” a deep voice asks, a warm hand brushing my bare shoulder. I turn in my chair, my eyes falling on Nathan’s friend and best man Sam.

  He’s handsome in an easy, carefree sort of way. He reminds me of the frat guys I go to school with who are big into sports and hit up Whiskey Barrel on the weekend. Once he speaks, his voice is enough to send shivers down my spine.

  His eyes wander over my body, then back up to meet mine. For a moment, Merric’s face flashes through my mind. I consider what he might think if he were to see me dancing with Sam. It’s enough to make me hesitate, but when I remember how things ended last night, I reason with myself. It’s stupid for me to worry over whether it’ll bother him or not.

  Plus, it’s just a dance. What’s it going to hurt? As far as I’m concerned, I’m free to do whatever I want.

  I nod, smiling up at Sam, sliding my hand into his. I lift the hem of my dress to avoid stepping on it,
and, like the gentleman he is, he pushes in my chair for me.

  “You look beautiful,” Sam whispers, his eyes looking down to where the front of my dress dips down into a V. He doesn’t even try to hide his appreciation of my body, and I let myself soak in the feel of it. The sting of rejection still burns from the night before.

  “Thank you.” I smile. Sam spins me to face him, sliding one hand around my waist, lacing his other hand with mine. “You look handsome yourself. I’d say this suit and green tie look damn good on you.”

  Sam grins. “Be careful how much you talk me up. I was going to try to woo you first, but I may have to say forget it and try to convince you to let me take you out on a date now.”

  I laugh. Sam spins me around, pulling me back toward him and ending with a dip.

  We make small talk for a bit. It’s more of the usual get-to-know-you questions: where did you grow up, where do you go to school, what are you studying, and so on. I learn Sam graduated last year with Penelope and is now working as a marketing analyst for a company near Fredericksburg, about an hour away from Richmond.

  The conversation trails off from there. It could be I’m tired, or maybe I’m just not feeling it. It’s hard to say, but I wish I had driven myself so I could slip out of here and head home. My eyes find Merric’s across the room as the second song begins, and I find it hard to keep my mind on anything else.

  Merric’s in a heavy conversation with Penelope’s mom, Tina, judging by the way he’s listening intently while she talks animatedly. I take a few seconds to study him and the way he stands. His hands are tucked into the pockets of his pants, a light dusting of hair over his jaw. He reaches his hand up, rubbing the stubble along his chin, nodding along as he listens.

  I wonder if he feels my eyes on him, or maybe something called to him to look up. Our eyes lock on each other when he does. Even with this much space separating us, I notice the brief flash of hurt pass over Merric’s face when he sees me dancing with Sam.

  Despite what I told myself when Sam first asked me to dance, I hate knowing I put that look on his face.

  I think back on my conversation with my mom earlier, how she brought up wanting to set up Merric with one of Penelope’s friends. The thought of him going home with one of them or even seeing him dancing with someone else makes my heart clench in my chest. I don’t want to see it, even if it is an innocent dance.

  Look at where we are together and who he is to me. Being honest with myself, though, does any of it concern me?

  No, it doesn’t. I’ve had a crush on Merric since I was seventeen years old. Even over the years, as we’ve both gotten older, my attraction toward him has never lessened. If anything, it’s only grown like a slow burn I’ve never been able to tamp down.

  I eye him as Aunt Tina wraps her arms around him in a hug, and he returns the gesture. I bite down on the edge of my lip, watching as his arms encircle her. Merric has never been an affectionate person, and I can understand why. Maxwell wasn’t either, although my mom tended to bring out that side in him just like she did with everyone.

  He nods toward her, stepping back as he motions toward me out on the dance floor. He must’ve mentioned my name as she turns, her eyes roaming over the dance floor before she finds me. She waves, turning back to pat Merric on the shoulder, saying goodbye. He offers an easy smile before stalking toward me, and his expression changes as he does.

  My mind filters through any signs of what he might be thinking. They all go out the window when he slips into the crowd, his eyes never breaking contact until he approaches me.

  He clears his throat, interrupting us. Sam turns, Merric looking to him and back to me and says, “Oaklyn, would you mind if I cut in?”

  Sam’s brows furrow, glancing between us, waiting for my response.

  “Of course.” I flash Sam a warm smile. “Thank you for the dance. It was great chatting with you.”

  He exhales harshly, stalking away.

  “Look what you did. You broke the poor fool’s heart.” Merric chuckles, slipping his arm around my waist, pulling me toward him. The distance separating the two of us is noticeably different compared to my dance with Sam.

  “What I did? How is any of this my fault?”

  “What did you expect would happen when I saw you dancing with him? Did you honestly believe I wouldn’t want my turn?”

  I wince, pulling back to stare at him.

  “Uhm… well, actually I did. After what happened last night and how ‘messy’ things could get between us, I didn’t think it would even be a thought in your mind.”

  Merric’s face falls, his eyes looking past me. He pulls me closer to him again, his mouth pressed to my ear. His voice turns low, assuring no one can hear him.

  “We also talked about how no matter how hard I had tried, I was incapable of staying away or keeping my hands off you. Or did you forget about that part?”

  My body relaxes, his words like a balm to my tattered wounds. He must sense the tension in my body lessen, his fingers rubbing along my back as we sway from side to side.

  “I never meant for the night to take a turn as it did. That wasn’t how I wanted it to go.” “How did you want it to go then?”

  Silence falls over us, and he seems to consider his answer before he finally replies.

  “I just know whatever happens between us, it can’t go beyond this week.”

  His tone changes as he finishes the sentence. Whatever reassurance I thought he had given me falls away once again. I hate how he’s asking for permission for us to give in, wanting to know if we cross this line, if we can both accept it’ll never turn into anything more.

  The question is, “Can I accept it?”

  I’ve never been the girl who’s hooked up. I’ve seen them all too often working at Whiskey Barrel. Especially all the groupies who come in and out, chasing after the different band members, hoping they’ll be the lucky one to capture their attention.

  It’s not something I’ve been able to do. I’ve only had two other relationships in my life; both were more serious. While we may not have had our futures all laid out, we were committed to each other, and I trusted they weren’t with anyone else.

  Now, standing here in Merric’s arms, he’s asking if I’ll give him one night with the promise of not letting it ruin things or turn messy, knowing how close our families still are to each other.

  I hadn’t told Merric how I felt about him for all these years. He has no idea how big of a question this is to me. Yet when I stop and ask myself, “Could I truly accept only this week with Merric?”

  The answer is simple. If it’s all I can have, I’ll take it. I’ve kept my feelings for him buried for all this time, never thinking it would get to this point. What do I have to lose?

  It’s worth it to me. It’s worth it all.

  Chapter Six

  I’m not sure what I expected after my conversation with Merric on the dance floor. When I look at him and nod, assuring him I understand, it feels as though someone has reached into my chest and gripped my heart.

  The edge of his mouth curves up in a smile. The urge to kiss him again eats away at any resistance I’ve been holding onto. I know by the way he blinks lazily, he feels it, too.

  “Later,” he whispers, quiet enough for only me to hear.

  I’m half-tempted to beg him to tell me when, to map it all out for me because I can’t wait another second.

  By the time we finally make it back to my mom’s house, it’s after midnight. I unhook the strap of my sandal, toeing off my shoes, and sigh at the feel of the plush carpet beneath my aching feet.

  After the last twenty-four hours, my body is shutting down as exhaustion looms. I’m ready to crawl into bed and let sleep pull me under. I slip into my pajamas and pad into the en suite bathroom, spending a few minutes going through my nighttime routine of washing my face and brushing my teeth. I pull my hair up in a bun on top of my head, tug my soft white comforter back, and slip into bed. I’m ready to crash the
moment my head hits the pillow.

  I wake up later from the sound of the subtle click of my door shutting, snapping me out of my sleep. It takes a moment to adjust to the darkness before landing on Merric’s tall frame standing in the corner of my room.

  “I’m sorry I keep waking you.”

  I’m not quite sure if I believe it, especially considering he’s standing in front of me without his shirt on and his pants hanging low on his hips.

  My only response is to slide over on my bed, lifting the blankets in a silent invitation for him to join me. He pauses, staring down at my tank top and the sliver of skin showing above the shorts I wore to bed. My mom always has the heat up in the house, and I prefer to use several blankets than overdress.

  Merric clears his throat, climbing onto the bed next to me. He slides his arm underneath my pillow, pulling me closer until our bodies meld together. A tremble shudders through my body as he glides his hand over my stomach, holding me against him.

  “Your skin is so soft,” he whispers. “You feel so damn good against me.”

  I sigh, my hand finding his beneath my pillow, lacing our fingers together while his hand lays over my stomach. The tips of his fingers brush along the band of my shorts, tracing back and forth. Each pass has me aching to feel his hands on other areas of my body, but I don’t dare push him. I soak up how he takes his time exploring my body.

  When his finger finally dips beneath my shorts, I take the opportunity to drape my leg over his thigh, opening myself up for him. Merric’s breath grows heavy against my neck. Each exhale warms my skin further.

  Every pass his hand makes causes my breath to lock up tight in my throat. My body is practically waiting on pins and needles for his fingers to move agonizingly slow until they finally brush over my clit. Once they do, the slight touch sends all the oxygen confined in my lungs out with a heavy puff of air, causing Merric to moan quietly in my ear.