Body Switches

by Barbara G. Tarn

  "Why? Can't you enjoy what you have?" Samantha glared at her, her smile vanishing in a threatening expression.

  "Not really, no," she shrugged.

  "Why don't you go out more, hang out with your friends?" Samantha suggested.

  "I've lost my friends and loved ones," Marian replied gloomily.

  "You gained new ones."

  "I don't fit in. I can't. And I hate the uncontrolled hard-ons that plague this body."

  Samantha sighed. "Well, Marian is happy..."

  Marian stared at the pondering gypsy. "She didn't ask you to read her future. She didn't come to you at all," she said bluntly.

  Samantha shrugged. "I heard her wish, though. Her secret dream."

  "Eavesdropping isn't exactly a way of finding out things. You had no idea of the context."

  Samantha grinned. "I know more than what you think. Take it easy, Johnny. Enjoy life. You'll be fine."

  Marian shook her head with a scoff. "I doubt it."

  "You'll settle, eventually," Samantha replied. "See you!"

  She stormed away. She was upset?

  Marian followed Samantha with her eyes, pursing her lips. She was more and more convinced that Samantha was involved in the body switch. What if she was a real witch? Cathy and Valery had seen their wishes come true, after all.

  "Johnny!" Doris's distressed voice startled her.

  "Hi, Doris, what's up?"

  "Total disaster!" Doris ran towards her on high-heels, panting as if she had been doing it for miles. "Burglars in the house and I have a show tonight! Can I borrow some of your jewelry?"

  "Sure." Marian quickly finished her shopping, then went back to Sebastian's with Doris lamenting her losses all the way.

  They went to the bedroom and Marian looked around. "Let me see... where do I keep my jewelry?"

  Doris promptly pointed at a chest of drawers. "Second drawer!"

  "Oh, yes, thank you." She hadn't really looked in there since the first day when Johnny had explained her where everything was. That drawer was Johnny's female stuff (makeup, jewelry, wigs), and she had happily ignored it.

  She rummaged a little and found a shoebox.

  "That's it!" Doris exclaimed.

  Marian picked it up and emptied it on the bed. "Help yourself."

  She saw bangles, heavy chains, kitsch necklaces and big colorful earrings that she would have never worn as a woman, let alone on a man's body.

  Doris picked a few items, stuffed them into her purse, lightly kissed her cheek in thank you and rushed out.

  Marian sighed and started putting the rest of the jewelry back inside the box. She found a series of pendants with Icelandic runes and stared curiously at the meanings.

  She looked closer at the blue one and decided to wear it, hiding it under her T-shirt as she finished to putting things back into the box.

  10.

  Johnny had lunch with Valery, who had called him at work, asking for a meeting. She relayed her meeting with Marian-in-his-body and Johnny chuckled.

  Valery was thoughtful, though. "That guy is definitely strange... but very good-looking! He makes Steve look old and ugly!"

  "Well, Steve isn't as handsome as my Chris, and you still look very good, so you should actually find someone younger to be with."

  Johnny genuinely liked Valery. She was much more what he wanted to be than Marian ever had been.

  "Do you really think so?" Valery asked, doubtful.

  "Absolutely," he said. "Someone that takes you out to dance and fucks you every night... know what I mean?" He grinned.

  Valery smiled back and nodded thoughtfully. "Definitely an interesting change," she admitted. "Almost like yours."

  "Mine what?"

  "Change. You're a much better woman now."

  "Thank you!" Johnny beamed. "I'm going out with a friend tonight, if you can keep a secret, we can pick you up on the way to the club."

  "You're sneaking out on Chris?" Valery asked, pleasantly surprised.

  "Well, he's tired and I'm not, so..." he shrugged. "As soon as he falls asleep, I sneak out. Should be around ten thirty, but the best starts at midnight."

  "Excellent, thank you!"

  Johnny was very happy to have Valery with him and Luke. He definitely liked her a lot, especially when she followed him on stage to karaoke with Doris.

  ***

  Marian saw Chris coming out of the office building with Steve. Damn, she really hoped he was alone. But then he saw her, excused himself with Steve, and walked straight to her – and he didn't look happy. Couldn't be only because he found a gay young man waiting for him.

  "What are you doing here?" He sounded hostile as well. He must be really pissed off.

  "I'm waiting for you," she answered. "How are you?"

  "I thought you were a friend of Marian."

  "I am, and I care for you as well."

  Chris scoffed. "I don't think you should come here anymore."

  "Tell me everything is fine with Marian, and I'll leave," she replied.

  "My marriage is none of our business!" he snapped.

  "Then just say 'I'm happy, thank you' and I'll fuck off," she insisted. She knew he wasn't happy, she could see it on his face. She needed to know what else Johnny had messed up.

  Chris hesitated. "How long have you been friends with Marian?"

  She shrugged. "A couple of weeks." And she didn't consider Johnny a friend. More of an acquaintance that had been forced on her and whom she didn't particularly like.

  "So you can't tell if she's changed," Chris said.

  "She dyed her hair blond." My hair. Bastard.

  "Her new look is a minor problem." Chris waved his dismissal. "Her behavior changed as well."

  "So did mine, if you ask Sebastian." She half-smiled, thinking about Johnny's boyfriend.

  "Yes, he told me about it," Chris grumbled. "But you got better, she got worse."

  "You talked to Sebastian?" she asked, stunned. Since when did Chris get personal with his clients? Was it because of the party at Seb's or because he was really desperate?

  "Why not, we both have problems with our relationships," Chris answered sourly, averting his eyes.

  "When did you talk to him?"

  "Yesterday. He came to my office for business. We ended up discussing personal issues."

  Marian pursed her lips, frowning. Damn Johnny, he was hurting so many people with his selfishness!

  "I think Marian will learn to behave," she said through clenched teeth.

  "I doubt it," he replied. "Now she's lying and going out at night when she thinks I'm asleep."

  "I'm sorry. My idea of fun is spending my free time with the one I love."

  They looked each other in the eyes for a long, intense moment. Chris gasped for breath and Marian clenched her fists in her jeans pockets to avoid throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him.

  "This used to be Marian," he whispered, lowering his eyes.

  "Guess we got mixed up," she replied, sullen.

  "Excuse me?" He stared at her, stunned.

  She shrugged. "I'm sorry, I have no logical explanation."

  Chris took in a deep breath. "I'm going to divorce her," he announced.

  She gaped at him. It was that bad already?

  "Don't!" she begged. "Please!"

  "Why do you care so much?"

  She lowered her eyes, defeated. "I wanna come home..." A whisper? A moan?

  He heard her. He stepped forward. She looked up, surprised.

  His face was coming closer. She closed her eyes, ready to be kissed, praying he'd kiss her now even if she was in Johnny's body. She had missed him so much... and she couldn't stand to see him unhappy.

  She could already feel his breath, but he pulled back abruptly. He must have come back to his senses.

  She opened her eyes and watched him get in his car, a troubled expression on his face. She sighed.

  "You almost got him!" Alan's voice startled her. "Way to go!" The young man patted her s
houlder with a big grin.

  "You said your name is Alan, right?" she asked, staring at him.

  "Glad you remember."

  "Do you always go after married men?"

  "Most of them are closeted gay."

  "Oh yeah?" She became sarcastic. "Like Sebastian, the blond interior designer?"

  "That was a hell of a good fuck indeed. Do you know him?"

  "He's my boyfriend, you sucker, and you better stay away from him and Chris from now on!"

  ***

  Sebastian brought a pillow and a blanket to the couch where Johnny was preparing for the night.

  "Are you sure you don't want to sleep with me?" he asked, disappointed by Johnny's decision to move out of the bedroom.

  "Yes, I'm sorry." Johnny looked away.

  Sebastian's eyes fell on the pendant hanging from Johnny's neck. Gabe's Icelandic souvenir. He frowned, taking the pendant with two fingers to check – yes, definitely a rune, probably from that series. He let it go.

  "Maybe you should move to Gabe's," he suggested, as jealousy tainted his voice.

  "Why?" Johnny looked puzzled. "I don't like him."

  "Then why do you wear his gift?" Sebastian pointed at the pendant with his chin, hands on his hips.

  "Oh." Johnny seemed confused. "Didn't remember he gave it to me. Found it in a box when Doris asked me for jewelry, liked the color and the little silver rune."

  "You don't even know what it means, I guess." Sebastian felt relieved. It was so Johnny to forget where things came from! It was stupid of him to think Johnny could have grown fond of Gabe.

  "Didn't really look." Johnny shrugged. "It was cute and one of the few manly things in that box, so I took it."

  "I still wish you'd sleep with me," Sebastian said.

  "I can't."

  Sebastian sighed. "Good night, then..."

  ***

  Marian was surprised by Johnny's call. He sounded distressed and he wasn't calling Luke. She agreed to meet him at a cafe midway between their houses.

  She got there first and wondered what had kept him. He looked glamorous but very pale, with no makeup. He slumped in the chair, huffing with relief.

  "Oh, God, I'm so sick I was afraid I'd faint in the streets!" he announced.

  Melodrama queen, she thought. But he did look sick.

  "You don't look good, do you have any fever?" she asked.

  "No, but I threw up twice already this morning." He fanned himself with his hand.

  "Did you get your periods?" she asked bluntly. Morning nausea. Could it be?

  "What?" Self-absorbed as usual, he answered absentmindedly.

  "Do you know how a woman's body actually works?" she insisted.

  "Oh, yes, of course! No, I didn't see anything unusual, but..."

  "Oh God." Little selfish, irresponsible bastard. "Let's go to a pharmacy."

  "What? Why?" He looked stunned.

  "To buy a pregnancy test."

  "A p... why? I'm sure the damn thing is just late!"

  It wasn't. Marian's body was pregnant. Marian sighed.

  "Well?" Johnny asked, anxious.

  "It's positive," she answered.

  He yelped. "Oh my God! What do I do?"

  "You have the baby."

  "But I can't! I never had one!"

  "Me neither."

  "I don't want a baby now!" He burst in hysterical tears.

  Marian patted him on the shoulder, thoughtful. I do want that baby...

  Chris had had the promotion. If she could get back to her body, he wouldn't divorce her and accept their child – hoping it was his, that Johnny hadn't fucked around with her body. It was sort of timely that it had happened now, although she would have waited until they had a new place to get pregnant. That would have meant waiting a couple of months, so no big deal.

  She needed to talk to Samantha. Johnny was obviously not taking it well and he was too shocked to be told he needed to plead the gypsy, so Marian went alone.

  Samantha was playing with a tarot deck when she entered the little shop. Marian tried to ignore the smell of incense and went straight to the little table.

  "Hi Johnny!" Samantha greeted, a little wary. "Long time no see in here!"

  Marian smiled innocently. "Aren't you my trusted astrologer?"

  "Sure." Samantha put down the cards and extended her hand, observing her very carefully. "Palm reading?"

  Marian offered both hands and stared at the gypsy now concentrating on her palm.

  "Mmm, nice hands," Samantha said. "You've experienced Sebastian."

  "Yes, and I also told him I don't love him."

  "Oh, that's nasty!" Samantha chided.

  Marian scoffed. "Listen, I'm under a spell, and you seem to know more about it than anyone else."

  "What makes you think so?"

  "You're reading my hands." She retrieved them and crossed her arms. "Or my mind, I don't know yet. But I believe witches exist."

  "You do?" Samantha looked pleasantly surprised.

  "I believe in female natural powers, even if I don't have any," she said. "Someone put a spell on Johnny and me, switching our bodies. What can I do to break the spell?"

  "Why would you want to break the spell?" Samantha asked. "You said you wanted to be a gay man, and he always wished to be a woman."

  "Not in this life. I was still struggling to be a woman!"

  "Well, now you don't have to struggle anymore."

  "It's actually worse. Both for me and for Johnny. We don't know how to handle these bodies."

  "You can learn. You're usually a fast-learner, I don't know why you're being so dense about it now!"

  "Johnny isn't ready to be a mother. I am. I want to go back to my body before he chooses abortion."

  Samantha looked nonplussed. Was she really expecting accolades for what she had done? It was plainly obvious now that she had done it. Johnny was her client and Marian had shunned her. The body switch had rewarded her client and punished the supposed non-believer.

  Marian knew that if she couldn't convince her, she'd have to talk to Johnny, tell him everything and hope he'd convince Samantha to reverse the spell.

  "Sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for," Samantha said coldly.

  "Mine was wishful thinking," she replied patiently. "I never expected it to happen. And neither did Johnny, I think."

  "You don't really appreciate the gifts you've been given, do you?" Samantha asked, sullen.

  "I already told you what I don't like of this body. And now Johnny has found something he doesn't like in mine as well. I guess it's time we switch back."

  Samantha shook her head. "I don't think so. And I told you not to wear that thing, it's bad luck."

  "What thing?"

  "The one you hide under your clothes."

  Marian fished in her T-shirt and extracted the Icelandic pendant. "You mean this? I kind of like it."

  Samantha cringed and covered her eyes. "Throw it away!" she screamed angrily.

  Marian put it back under her clothes, slowly smiling in triumph.

  "I don't think so. Thank you, Samantha."

  She had a weapon. No need to talk some sense into Johnny. Maybe she could lift the spell on her own.

  11.

  Marian slipped in the bedroom while Sebastian was in the bathroom. She still slept on the couch, but she needed something from the jewelry box.

  She rummaged in it and found a pendant still in its package, with all the symbols explained. She stared at the runes and compared them to the one she had worn around her neck – the magic symbol to protect against sorcery.

  She suddenly smiled. No wonder Samantha had reacted so badly to it! Maybe she could recite the rune and break the spell!

  She barely noticed Sebastian coming out of the bathroom, ready for bed. She grabbed the explanation sheet, closed the drawer and went back to the couch.

  She sat in the lotus position and carefully read all the runes. Protection against sorcery. Protection against enemie
s. Against fear of witchcraft. For success in business. For dreams and good sleep.

  "The Helm of Awe. The Magic Symbol. The Magic Stave." She whispered them all. Maybe she should say it in Icelandic. "The Helm of Awe" she couldn't figure out how to pronounce, but the other two had the same strange word.

  She stared at the three symbols again. She read the word aloud, trying to memorize it. "Galdrastafur. Galdastrafur. No! Gal-dra-sta-fur!"

  She put down the sheet and repeated without looking. "Galdrastafur."

  One final check of the word. She nodded, satisfied. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath. She visualized the Helm of Awe. She grabbed her pendant, visualizing its magic symbol, silver on blue, and took a deep breath.

  "Galdrastafur," she said loud and clear.

  She lost consciousness.

  ***

  Marian slowly emerged from sleep. She couldn't remember her dreams and felt exhausted. The sounds were familiar early morning noises, and even the bed felt familiar.

  She opened her eyes, hopeful. Yes! She was back! She grinned and turned to Chris, still asleep by her side. God, she had so missed him!

  She held him closer, tenderly waking him up with light caresses and butterfly kisses.

  He pulled back, still sleepy. "Is the crying over?" he asked warily.

  "Yes," she answered, her heart so full of joy she giggled against her will. "The whole madness is over. And I have news."

  "Yeah, me too." He averted his eyes, unsmiling. "I'm packing my bags, going back to my mother's."

  She was stunned, and then realized she had behaved like Sophie or Johnny. Big mistake.

  As he turned to get up, she blocked him with her own fierce will. "No you don't! You listen to me first! This is important for me! For once, listen to what I need."

  Chris stared at her, puzzled first, then wary. "OK, I'm listening," he conceded, lying down and observing her carefully.

  She took a deep breath to calm down. "Chris, I'm back and I have news." She leaned to whisper in his ear. "I don't know how this fits into our savings program, but you didn't wear protection, so you're also to blame."

  "I don't care, I'm leaving, just like Valery did with Steve after your suggestion," he replied, hostile.

  "Valery did what? Oh, God, I'm going to kill that little bastard for messing up everybody's life!" she exploded, exasperated.

  "Who are you going to kill?" Chris asked, sarcastic.

  "Johnny. You know, the guy you almost kissed." She looked him in the eyes.