Body Switches

by Barbara G. Tarn

  "Would that be you?" Colin asked with contempt.

  "Maybe," he answered with a mysterious smile.

  Charlene looked puzzled, but didn't say anything. She took the children to their neighbor's and came back slowly, still observing him. "How come you kept the car?" she asked.

  "Harith can't drive," he answered. "I took him to the bank, but then he had a breakdown, so we took the days off. We need to switch back soon."

  "That's the wildest story I ever heard," she declared, crossing her arms on her bosom. Unbelievably, he wanted to kiss her and hold her. "Let's go find my husband."

  "I think my body has gone home," Ciaran answered with a grin as they both climbed into the car.

  ***

  Keith was furious. Mostly with himself, because he'd lost it and created a scene and started the first serious fight of his marriage. But Harith was really getting on his nerves with his new shyness and quiet. Icy Harith was so distant, he made Vain Harith look like an angel in comparison.

  He paced the apartment, muttering to himself, wanting to bang his head on the walls, unable to calm down. He didn't like screaming. Least of all screaming at Harith. Not even Icy Harith.

  The doorbell rang and he answered it, frowning at the sight of the young man outside, who brightened and threw his arms around his neck.

  "Keith! Thank God! I missed you!"

  Startled, Keith couldn't avoid the luscious lips as the other pushed him back inside and kicked the door closed behind them. His passion almost threw Keith to the ground. He found his balance and managed to push back the other.

  "What the fuck are you doing, who are you?" he demanded.

  "I'm Harith." The other batted his eyelids just like Harith, with that little smile. Keith called it "puppy eyes" – even if they were blue and not green and he looked different. "I'm sorry, baba, I don't know why this happened, I guess the gods punished me for cheating on you, but can you please forgive me and let me back here?"

  "No!" he protested. The guy did sound like Harith, behaved like Harith, but his looks... although even the pout looked very Harith-like. "Listen, I don't know what's going on, but I don't think I know you," he said, trying to keep his voice in control. His heart was beating faster as the guy was still trying to press his body against him. He struggled to keep him away, though he was strangely attracted by the Harith-ish behavior.

  "You do know me, pappu," the other purred. "And you hate it when I call you pappu, so why are you not telling me to shut up?"

  "Because... because I..." Keith pushed him away and started pacing the room again. The young man slumped on the couch, looking dejected – like Harith would when they discussed or fought. Keith couldn't find the words to express his confusion and his anger, and before he could add another sound, the doorbell rang again.

  This time it was Harith – or at least Harith's body, although he was behaving strangely – and a blonde woman, who gaped at the sight of him.

  "Doctor Randall?" she asked, incredulous.

  "Yes," he answered, remembering she was the mother of two of his little patients. The one who had asked him if he was married and had kids.

  "I thought you said you were married!"

  "I am. To him..." He pointed at Harith's body. "Or maybe to him, who knows," he muttered, glancing at the other guy.

  "That's my husband!" she said, shocked.

  "I told you we've switched bodies," Harith told her patiently as the other guy sighed heavily and stood up to join them.

  Keith let them all in, if only to avoid displaying the scene to the neighbors.

  The guy that behaved like Harith grabbed his hand and arm as if it was an anchor, staring defiantly at the other two. "So you told her, huh? Good, because I also told Keith. I'm not sure he believes me, though."

  The blonde scoffed. "It's a little hard to believe. But it seems it's true. Let's check a couple more things with both present, and let's see who answers."

  Keith nodded and so did the other guy, very eagerly. Harith's face gave just a half smile.

  "Okay," Keith said, staring at Harith. "After we spent the first night together I told you that you had bedroom eyes."

  "And I told you that you have a bedroom voice." The answer came from the other guy, not Harith's mouth.

  "Shit," Keith muttered, his eyes ping-ponging between the two. "Your mother arrives today," he told the one who was so obviously Harith even if he didn't look like Harith.

  "Kya?" He even reverted to Hindi when he was shocked. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked his body accusingly.

  "I didn't know, I thought you had everything under control," the other replied defensively.

  "She called back when you were out, saying she was coming," Keith said. "She wasn't convinced. She thought something was wrong with you. And she was absolutely right. We'll have to tell her."

  "We're telling too many people," Harith grumbled. "Ciaran, did you call the witch?"

  "No." The other averted his eyes with a frown.

  "Excuse us," Harith let go of Keith's hand, grabbed Ciaran's forearm and dragged him into the bedroom. Keith followed them with his eyes and heard the blonde sigh.

  "Take a seat," he said, remembering his good manners.

  "Thanks." She smiled shyly. "I'm Charlene."

  "Keith."

  They shook hands and both slumped on the couch, becoming lost in thought. Keith couldn't believe what had happened, but something had indeed happened.

  "What do you think?" she asked absentmindedly. "Is it possible?"

  "It obviously is. Although I have no idea how we can solve this."

  "They could remain switched," she said. "I mean, your husband is gorgeous, but..."

  "But you have kids," he reminded her. "I wouldn't put them through the trauma of a new face on their dad."

  "Right, right." She nodded, thoughtfully. Then she snapped back to reality and stared at him. "And how is your marriage, Doctor Randall?"

  "I thought we were on first-name basis," he grumbled.

  "Keith," she corrected herself. "How are you doing with Harith?"

  "Not so good before the switch. He admitted to cheating on me."

  She scoffed. "So did Ciaran. But he's a Catholic, so he won't divorce. And he says it was a platonic relationship."

  "Harith had a quickie," he said gloomily. "His Inner Child still comes out to play. Or maybe it's just him, he can't commit. Well, he can, I mean, he loves me in his own way, but..." He shook his head. "I don't know, sometimes he's really childish. I know he didn't even think before the quickie. But then he felt guilty and because he's so honest, he felt the need to tell me." He sighed. "I guess it's complicated."

  "Glad I'm not the only one with a complicated spouse," she grumbled, staring in the distance. "Okay, maybe it's my fault, I waited too long before moving here, but I was worried for the kids."

  "At their age, they're just fine," he replied. "Don't uproot them in their teens, though, or they might hate you forever."

  "I won't," she assured, shaking her head.

  "Damn you, Ciaran!" the scream of frustration startled both. "Why can't you just do what you're told for once?"

  They didn't hear Ciaran's response, but Harith stormed out of the room with a frown, followed by an equally frowning Ciaran.

  "I might have Peter Pan syndrome, but this... guy, here, has forgotten how to be happy!" Harith said, slumping next to Keith and putting his head on Keith's shoulder, while Ciaran stopped a few paces from the couch, glaring at him. "You know, even grown-ups have fun sometime! What kind of life are you living?" Harith continued, staring at Ciaran.

  "Ciaran was always very serious," Charlene said with a hint of amusement. "It's what made me marry him. He sounded reliable – and he is. He's a great father, he's had a good career... but you're right, he forgot how to be happy." She stared at Ciaran who averted his eyes.

  "So, what do you want me to do, give up my manager position to spend more time with you and the kids?" he asked, morosely.
/>   "That's not what I'm saying," she snapped. "We should settle and live happily ever after."

  "Life is not a fairy tale, Charlene."

  "See?" Harith pulled up to look at her accusingly. "He doesn't believe in fairy tales, doesn't believe in witches, so we're stuck like this because he can't bother to call the witch and convince her to switch us back!"

  "Why would she listen only to him?" Charlene asked, puzzled.

  "Because I already tried it, and she didn't reply," Harith answered. "I even had the kids call her, and they say she wants to hear it from him. She said from Ciaran, so I assume she wants to hear it from him! I have his body, but I'm not Ciaran, damn him!" And he went back to his position against Keith with a pout. "I think he likes being in my body."

  "No I don't!"

  "Yes you do! I bet you're starting to prefer Keith to your wife! But he's mine, not yours!"

  "Keep him, I don't want him!"

  "Whoa, whoa, whoa, everybody calm down!" Keith raised his voice only because Harith and Ciaran were screaming over each other. The two young men glared at each other but shut up while Charlene's eyes went from one to the other in utter disbelief.

  Keith was really conflicted. He couldn't match the face with the behavior, although seeing them together it was obvious they were switched. He checked his watch.

  "Okay, it's almost time to go to the airport," he said. "I guess you both have to come. I'm sorry, Charlene, should we drop you home?"

  "Yeah, I don't think Mrs. Miller can handle the kids' meals," she sighed.

  "I'm coming with you," Harith decided. "Maybe Ciaran will do what he's asked to do after he has dealt with my mother."

  Keith smiled against his will. "You're naughty, Harith."

  "I'm not scared." Ciaran stared venomously at Harith.

  "You don't know my mother. She's definitely a witch," Harith replied triumphantly.

  "Bullshit." Ciaran averted his eyes.

  "You'll see!"

  Keith smiled and shook his head. Charlene gave him a puzzled look, but he shrugged. Of course Harith's mom wasn't a witch. Although she looked like a High Priestess of some forgotten Goddess even in Keith's eyes.

  "Right, I'll drive back," Charlene said, jumping to her feet. Harith promptly followed her.

  "See if you can convince him," he told Keith from the doorstep.

  "We don't have a guest room," Keith reminded him, amused. "He can't sleep on the couch tonight..."

  Ciaran's eyes widened in panic and he gasped. Harith chuckled and waved good-bye.

  Keith was left alone with Harith's body and Ciaran's confused mind.

  8.

  Ciaran sat in the passenger's seat of Keith's car, brooding. Harith's harsh words, supported by Charlene, hurt. He'd basically been told he was a failure who was so self-absorbed he couldn't even enjoy life. And he thought Harith was the loser with his lifestyle.

  Bullshit. They both had problems, obviously. But he didn't want to keep Harith's body. He didn't want to spend his life with a man. But it had been a strange week, and even if he hadn't broken down like Harith – he couldn't see himself having hysterics like that – he was shaken to the core. And exhausted from the struggle of living in somebody else's body – someone who was gay and could talk about sex as if it were a recipe for happiness.

  He glanced at Keith, who seemed to be very quiet now that he knew the truth. He cleared his throat.

  "So... what do you think of this?" he asked.

  "I don't know," Keith answered. "I don't know you, except as the new bank manager. I have no idea of what you do with your private life. I don't know what you did to upset your wife except what she told me. I haven't seen the witch, so I don't know what you want me to think."

  "If you saw her, you'd believe witches are real?"

  "Why not," Keith replied. "My mother is Lakota. There are still powerful shamans in her tribe, in spite of us all living in the 21st century. I'm sure there are reincarnations of druids in Ireland as well. You just forgot your roots when you moved here. I mean, even Harith gave up some of his traditions when he came here, but every time he goes back to India, he relapses. How often do you go back to Ireland?"

  "Usually during the summer for my holidays," Ciaran grumbled. "Although apparently it's been suggested we spend Christmas there this year."

  "Sounds like a good idea. I wanted to spend Diwali – the Hindu equivalent of Christmas – in India, and told Rekha that I was going to bring her son back, but she couldn't wait. She was so upset she had to see with her own eyes he was fine."

  "And how am I supposed to show her I'm fine if I can't speak Hindi?" Ciaran complained.

  "They tend to speak English in front of me, because I still can't speak much Hindi after seven years," Keith smiled. "And I won't leave you alone with her, if it's what bothers you. Not during the weekend, at least. But on Monday I need to go to work..."

  "So do I... I mean, my body! He took only Thursday and Friday off." Ciaran frowned in worry.

  "Then you better do something about it," Keith replied. "Do you want to tell Rekha that you're not her son, or what?"

  "Let's see if we can keep it from her." Ciaran sighed. "Too many people know already."

  "Like who?"

  "I had to tell one of my colleagues. And now our spouses. What a mess."

  "Okay, basic Hindi for you. She'll call you Beta, which means son, and not use your name. So if you hear Beta, it's you she's talking to."

  Ciaran nodded, thoughtful. Then the airport came into view and there wasn't much time left. Rekha was beautiful and had an air of nobility around her. She wore a sari and greeted them with a smile. Ciaran felt a little awkward in giving the Hindu greeting and trying to touch her feet like Keith did. She stopped both before they actually touched her and hugged him instead.

  "As you can see, he's fine, Aunty," Keith said as he drove back. "He's just not very talkative lately. I believe he's pondering a life-changing decision."

  "Are you, Beta?" Rekha looked at him puzzled, and he blushed. He felt intimidated by Harith's mother. She must love her son in spite of his marriage to a man, and he didn't know what to say. His first impression of Harith hadn't been too good, and he still felt that Harith needed to grow up and start behaving like a man – but then that same guy had just told him he'd forgotten what it meant to be happy, which sounded awfully true.

  "I miss my innocence," he blurted out, staring into space. "But I like my life, I don't want to change it!" He was about to add that he loved his boys and didn't want to lose them, but remembered who was in the car with him and shut up, frowning in concentration. He should sound like Harith. No way.

  Rekha took his hand and patted it. "I'm here, Beta, don't worry. Everything will be all right."

  "I wish people stopped having a go at me," Ciaran complained. "Seems like everything that happens is my fault!"

  "You do tend to attract things to you," Keith said, glancing at him through the rearview mirror. Ciaran wondered if he was telling this to him or Harith.

  "Jo hona hai so hoga. Fikar karne se kyaa faayda?" Rekha said.

  "Huh?" Ciaran was ready to panic.

  "Whatever is meant to happen will happen. What's the use of worrying?" she translated.

  "So I might be stuck like this and nobody will do anything to help me. Great," he muttered.

  "Apparently you're the only one who can solve this," Keith reminded him.

  Rekha's eyes went back and forth between them. She squeezed Ciaran's hand. "Kya hua, Beta? What's happening?"

  Ciaran sighed. "You don't want to know."

  "I do."

  "Aren't you a little jet-lagged?"

  "I am, but I care for you."

  "Can we talk about it tomorrow?"

  "Theek hai. Tomorrow."

  The first word sounded like when Harith had said "Okay", so Ciaran relaxed a little. They arrived home and let Rekha rest while they went to the supermarket.

  "She'd want to cook tonight," Keith said.
<
br />   "I have no idea what she'd want to do," Ciaran replied grumpily.

  "Don't worry, I do."

  Going back, they passed in front of Ciaran's house and saw Harith playing baseball with Colin and Hugh. Keith slowed down and Ciaran sighed, remembering the hostility of his son at his new face.

  "He's good with kids," he admitted reluctantly.

  Keith smiled. "Because he's a kid himself," he said. "I think you gave him a new purpose, though. He'd love coaching your son's team."

  "And still spend his Fridays and Saturdays at the damn club?" Ciaran asked defiantly.

  "Probably," Keith nodded. "If he enjoys it so much, why forbid him?"

  "Aren't you afraid he'd cheat on you again?"

  "It wasn't at the club. That's not the place I worry about. I'm usually with him when he goes there anyway."

  "So it was the gym." Ciaran said, thoughtful. "He might have less time for that if he starts coaching Little League."

  "That would be absolutely wonderful." Keith grinned at him and he smiled back despite himself.

  ***

  After the baseball game, Harith sat on the floor of the living room with the children.

  "Now, we're going to call the witch. She hears you, so I'm going to be here when she comes, what do you think?" he said.

  "Sure, Dad," Colin said.

  "Er... Ciaran, are you sure?" Charlene asked, worried.

  "If we fail, it's all on him, and you can also yell it to his face like I did," Harith replied, determined. "Actually we should all shout at him to do it and let us get on with our lives."

  "Do what? And who should we scream at?" Colin asked, puzzled.

  "That man who came this morning," Charlene smiled, averting her eyes. "He's a little too stubborn for his own good. And ours."

  "What does he have to do with us?" Colin insisted.

  "I think you should ask the witch to tell you that story," Harith said, winking.

  Colin and Hugh exchanged a surprised glance, then nodded – the elder a little skeptical, the younger worried. They both closed their eyes and joined their hands as if in prayer. Harith glanced at Charlene who looked impressed.