Vanilla Moon: Acrimony

by Airiel Hawkins

  "I don't want to lie to you, Mira," I said.

  She shrugged. "So, don't." I loved how easy it was to be up front and honest when you're young. I loved the simplicity of her logic… and I hated that it wasn't that easy.

  "I also don't want you to worry," I countered. "Things are bad right now, but they will get better. Do you believe me when I tell you that?"

  My little sister nodded, and I smiled because of her trust. "I know the Witches are doing bad things again," she said. "Momma told me they were. She said they want us to leave our homes so they can take over. We don't have to leave, do we?" she asked, big blue eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "I like it here."

  "I like it here too," I agreed. "We don't have to leave if I have anything to say about it. This is our territory. Our home."

  "So where is Momma?"

  I sighed. "Mom's at the clinic," I informed her. Her pale blue eyes widened. "She's okay," I promised her.

  "Then why is she at the clinic?" Mira asked. "Only hurt and sick people go there."

  The worry in her eyes broke my heart. I hugged her tight. "The Witches hurt a lot of people tonight," I explained. The sudden fear and worry in her eyes were like a dagger in my heart. "They attacked the pack while everyone rested after the Hunt. Dad was one of the people they hurt tonight."

  She pulled away from me as tears fell from her eyes. "But, Wolfie… they can't hurt Daddy. Daddy is the Enkidu…."

  I gave her what I hoped was a reassuring smile. "Even Enkidus can get hurt sometimes," I explained. "He did what he could to protect everyone, but a lot of people died. Since Mom and Dad are mates, she's at the clinic with him so that he can get better."

  "When will he get better?" she whined.

  I shook my head. "I don't know," I confessed. "The closer Mom is to him, the faster he'll come home."

  She was silent for a moment, looking thoughtful. "Wolfie?" she asked.

  "Hmm?"

  Mira met my eyes with large ones filled with more emotions than I thought a six-year-old child could understand. "Are you going to kill the Witches that hurt the pack?" she asked. "Will you make it so they can't hurt anyone else ever again?"

  I nodded. "Yes," I vowed to her. "Because of that, though, you may need to spend a little extra time with Ceres. Do you think you can handle that?"

  She nodded. "I can do anything!" she declared.

  I grinned at her. "Good," I said. I hugged her tight for a moment, thankful that she was still too young to shift and hadn't been hurt. "I'm counting on you, Mira. Don't let me down, okay?"

  She nodded and hugged me back. "I won't!"

  I kissed the side of her head before I put her back on the floor. "Will you go find Ceres and ask her for breakfast and have her send me Luke and Hunter?" I asked. "It's a very important mission."

  She nodded and gave me a salute. "Aye-aye, Sir!" she shouted before she bounded off out of the library. Her black hair bounced as she hopped causing me to chuckle because it needed a good brushing. I waited for the door to close before I let myself relax a bit. I leaned my head against the back of the couch and closed my eyes. All I wanted to do was fall asleep, but there was too much going on. Even if I could sleep for a few hours, I wouldn't be able to shut down my thoughts.

  The horrors I saw at the Resting Grounds flashed through my mind and I opened my eyes again to erase the gore. I stood and walked over to one of the tall windows in the library and looked out over the wide strip of grass that separated our yard from the forest. I remembered one morning from my childhood when I came down here to spend time with my grandfather. He was busy doing some bookkeeping, so I stared out through this window and saw a deer on the other side. I remembered that I felt so surprised that a creature we hunted would come so close to the place we lived. I was sure that the buck should have smelled what we were, but it didn't seem to care. It wanted the thick grass my grandfather planted. Somehow, I reasoned, it knew that day was a safe day to eat the grass.

  The library doors opened while I let myself daydream. I looked back and saw Mira march toward me, dragging Ceres behind her with Luke and Hunter following, amusement written in their smiles.

  Mira stopped in front of me and glowered. "What's wrong?" I asked.

  My sister pointed to my mate. "She doesn't know how to make breakfast!' she informed me. The scowl on her face made me want to laugh, but I knew that would only make her madder. Mira was profoundly serious when it came to her breakfast. I'd forgotten something particularly important when I told her to as Ceres for the meal.

  "What did you ask her for?" I asked.

  "Pancakes!" she cried. She threw her hands up in the air. "All I want are pancakes!"

  I bit the inside of my cheek to keep the laughter from escaping. "Okay," I said. I knelt to meet her level. "Why don't we teach Ceres how to make pancakes then?" I asked. "That way, she can do it for you next time."

  Mira pursed her lips together and put her hands on her hips. She looked at Ceres for a moment before turning back to me. "Alright," she said. "But you better teach her how to make teddy bear pancakes."

  I held up my right hand. "I swear it," I vowed. I looked at my mate and smiled before looking at my sister. "When we're done teaching her, she'll be better at making them than I am."

  She stared at me as if I'd grown an extra limb all the sudden. I chuckled before I looked at my best friend and his father. "I have a job for the two of you," I said.

  "Whatever you need," Hunter replied.

  "My father told you to track down every Witch that had come to town over the last few weeks, right?" I asked.

  Hunter nodded. "We have eyes on everyone who has come into town since the last attack," he informed me. "The list is in the desk."

  "And what about the established Witches?"

  "We've had eyes on them for years," he replied. "That list is also in the desk, Volsunga."

  I nodded and looked at my father's desk. I didn't want to disturb it. I needed to believe that he would be back soon and that he would get upset if I rummaged through things. "Compile another list for me," I requested. "Please," I added. "We're fighting a war and I want to take it to their doors tonight."

  They bowed their heads. "Right away, Volsunga," Hunter replied. They turned and left the room before I reached for Mira's hand. She held on tight as I wrapped my arm around Ceres's waist and guided my two favorite ladies to the kitchen.

  I set Mira up on the counter and started to gather the ingredients together, telling each one to Ceres as I moved around the room. Flour, baking powder, salt, milk, eggs…. Then I saw a bag of chocolate chips in the cupboard. I grinned at my sister. "Do you want chocolate chip pancakes?" I asked.

  She sucked in an excited gasp and her eyes lit up like fireworks. "Yes!" She bounced on the counter a little and I had to hope that she wouldn't fall before I finished making breakfast.

  I put a bowl on the counter, ready to start. I pulled Ceres toward me and had her stand between me and the counter. I put a measuring cup in her hand and guided it to the flour to scoop some of it into the bowl. She began laughing as I continued to manipulate her hands. I kissed her cheek. "How are you supposed to learn breakfast if you don't stop laughing and pay attention?" I asked with my mouth next to her ear. I heard her sharp intake of breath and didn't have to wonder why her skin prickled.

  "You can't just tell me what to do?" she asked.

  "I'll write you a recipe later," I promised. "Now pour in the milk and whisk it all together until there are no lumps."

  Mira laughed as we whisked the batter. I felt a surge of gratitude that we could still laugh despite the current events. I was more grateful that Mira could laugh even though she didn't understand and knew that we were afraid. Taking this moment to relax and eat seemed to be just what the doctor would have ordered if she wasn't at the clinic treating life-threatening wounds.

  "Good," I said when the batter looked smooth. "Now, the hard part is getting the teddy bear." I moved Ceres aside while I turned the stove o
n and put butter on the griddle. I poured the batter from the bowl into a measuring cup with a pour spout. I poured some onto the griddle to see if it was ready. Determining that it was, I poured a large circle for the body. Attached to the edges went a medium head, four small limbs, and two tiny ears.

  I glanced at Mira. "Eggs?" I asked while it cooked.

  She looked thoughtful for a moment before she shook her head. "Bacon!" she requested.

  I gave her one of those looks that all parents perfect within the first few years of a child's life that tells them that they know better. "Without eggs, the teddy bear pancakes won't look right. You can have bacon too, but…."

  "Fine," she huffed. "Eggs too…."

  I smiled and ruffled her messy hair before I opened the fridge for bacon and more eggs. I looked at Ceres. "Do you know how to make eggs?" I asked.

  "What kind?" was her response.

  "Over easy."

  She shook her head. "I can do scrambled, but that's as far as my egg expertise goes."

  "See?" Mira cried. "She doesn't know how to make breakfast!"

  I smiled at my sister. "That's because Ceres grew up in a place where she didn't have to."

  Mira stared at Ceres. "Where were you that you didn't have to make breakfast?" she asked.

  My mate walked around to Mira and leaned against the counter. "I was in New York," she said. "Back there, my parents had a housekeeper who made all our meals for us and if I didn't want what they were eating, I could go down to the coffee shop on the street and buy a bagel."

  "Bagel?" Mira asked. "What's that?"

  Ceres chuckled. "It's like a donut, but it isn't sweet and doesn't have frosting. It's cooked differently too, so it's not as soft and fluffy."

  "So, a bagel is a boring donut?" she asked. She scrunched up her face and the bridge of her nose wrinkled a little. "Why would you eat a boring donut?"

  "Because they're yummy," Ceres replied with a smile. "One of these days, I'll get you a yummy bagel."

  Mira shook her head. "I don't want your boring donuts," she said. "I want teddycakes."

  "Teddycakes?" I asked.

  "I'm calling them that from now on," my little sister announced.

  "Sounds good to me," I said before I flipped the 'teddycake' on the girdle. Years of practice made the flip a smooth one and the other side began to cook while I checked on the eggs and bacon.

  When the food finished cooking, I set the plate on the little table in the kitchen. Mira sat down with it and began to devour her breakfast. I tried to have another cup of coffee and leaned against the counter while I sipped it. Ceres joined me in the effort and rest her head on my shoulder.

  "I'm going to need you to keep track of Mira while I'm dealing with everything else, okay?" I asked. I felt her tense at the words and knew what she was thinking. "This isn't me trying to keep you away from the fight or anything like that," I assured her. "It's just that I don't trust anyone else to protect her the way I know you will."

  "Leave it to me," she said with a smile as the sound of footsteps brought someone else into the kitchen.

  "What smells so good?" Riley asked.

  "Teddycakes," I replied as Ceres left the room. She brushed passed Riley without a glance in his direction. I wanted to go after her because I knew how upset she was. This whole situation wasn't easy for either of us. I knew she just wanted to forget about it.

  Riley looked at her as she rushed away. When he turned back to me, I saw the sadness in his gaze. "I'm going to go out on a limb and say she's upset with me," he reasoned.

  I sighed as I shook my head. "She's upset with the situation," I replied. "She has every right to be. It's been a hell of a rollercoaster for her."

  "I get that but—"

  "No, you don't get it," I argued. "Riley, the only reason she was pregnant in the first place was that we were desperate to survive. At first, she didn't want that baby. Then, she fell in love with it. We started talking about names and planning the baby's room. She was finally excited about it. Then it was gone. Now, she's not only dealing with the grief of our loss, but she's also working through the guilt of not wanting it in the first place. On top of that, she knows that we have to do it again. We have to get pregnant again and pray that it leads us to a baby, but she's not ready for that. She doesn't know if she ever will be, but she doesn't have the luxury of putting it off. She will be the Skaapie and that means there must be an heir."

  "I'm sorry that she's going through all that, but it's not our fault!" Riley protested.

  "You're right, it's not," I snapped. "You know what though?" I shook my head. "She knows that, but she can't help but blame you. She can't help but feel bitter and angry about it and then guilty all over again because she knows that she should be happy for you. She knows that you're going to have your baby. There isn't a Witch out there who's going to pour poison down Lena's throat and cause her body to abort your baby!"

  "That doesn't mean it won't happen!"

  I glared at my cousin. "We're talking about Ceres," I said. "She knows. Or have you forgotten about that?"

  "I don't have a lot of faith in it," Riley shrugged. "I mean, she doesn't know everything, or you wouldn't have lost your baby."

  I hit him before I knew I'd done anything. My fist flew and caught him in the jaw. Riley spun around and hit the floor, causing Mira to scream. I heard running down the hallway before people poured into the kitchen.

  "Oh my god! Riley!" Selena cried, rushing to him. She knelt next to him and checked on him before she glared at me. "What the fuck did you do?" she demanded.

  I growled because she was weaker than me and she had no right to speak to me that way. She instantly shrank in on herself as Riley held up his hand to me. "My fault," he groaned. He massaged his jaw as they rose to their feet. He swore under his breath before he glared at me. "Really?" he asked. "This is what it's come to?"

  I met his eyes and held his gaze. "And what would you do if I said that I didn't believe a word coming out of Selena's mouth?" I asked.

  Riley shrugged. "I'd hit you too," he replied.

  "What are you talking about?" Ceres asked.

  Riley glanced at her before he looked at me. He didn't say a word. In his position, I wouldn't have either.

  "Riley doesn't think you know things like you do."

  We all turned to look at Mira. She had ducked down below the edge of the table and was looking at us over the top. She looked terrified. She'd never seen violence like that before. My parents were always careful to keep her far away from it. I sighed and swore at myself.

  Ceres turned from my sister to my cousin. Riley sighed. "Fuck me," he muttered, shaking his head.

  Selena took a step back away from him. "You really believe that?"

  Riley shook his head. "That’s not what I meant," he said in his defense.

  "He said that if you really knew everything, you wouldn't have lost your baby."

  Selena took in a horrified gasp and Ceres's eyes turned amber in an instant. She met Riley's gaze and shook her head. "Fuck you," she whispered. She turned and walked away from the kitchen. I hesitated only for a second, looking at my sister, before I rushed after her. She was the priority. The sound of a fist hitting flesh told me that Selena hit Riley too. A moment later, I heard her footsteps rushing down the hall after me.

  I entered the bedroom and saw Ceres curled up on the bed, clutching one of the pillows. Her shoulders shook and she gasped for breath. I rushed to her and gathered her up in my arms. She clung to me, heaving for breath. I combed my fingers through her hair and rubbed her back, arms, and shoulders. I rocked her as she cried and looked up when Selena entered the room.

  She sat down on the bed with us and smoothed Ceres's platinum hair back. "Riley can be a dick sometimes, Babe," she said. "He didn't mean what he said, otherwise he'd have said it to your face."

  Ceres shook her head and clutched my arms, her fingers digging in. I shook my head at Selena. She nodded before she left the room. My cousin,
who may as well have been my brother, just sent us careening back ten steps.

  Chapter 6 ~Wolfgang~

  I held on to Ceres for a few minutes after she fell asleep because I wasn't ready to let her go. I wanted to hit Riley again. I wanted to hit him until he didn't get back up, but I knew that wouldn't solve anything. The tension between us was already high enough because of what he said. I also knew that I couldn't hide in our bedroom forever, so I picked myself up and got dressed again. Once I was ready to face the day, I opened the bedroom door and looked back at Ceres one more time before I stepped through. There was a lot I needed to do today, and I couldn't stop just because I didn't feel like dealing with it.

  I made my way to the library. Once the door shut behind me, I stared at the room and wondered when it would look normal to me again. My father should be at the desk. His voice should greet my presence in the room. The reality of the situation began to crash down on me. The reality that, one day, maybe soon, I would be in control of our pack. My place would be in this room. I would head our people.

  I felt numb. I took a slow, cautious step forward, followed by a second. I crossed the expanse of the library from the door to the desk and stared down at it. All I could see was my father in the hospital bed. I could see the way his bones were an odd shade that was neither white, not yellow, nor bloody because they washed it clean. I could see the ripped flesh and charred skin. I could feel how weak he was…. I shuddered at the thought of my father being so close to death and my fear that I would never be ready to lead this pack. What would I do if he died? Where would I start?

  His one request played itself in my mind on a loop. Kill them all. It felt like an odd request; something that I could not fulfill in my lifetime because there was no way for me to kill them all. I may find the ones in Adamsville, but then what about Vernal? What about Jensen? What about the entire Salt Lake Valley? What would happen if I couldn't carry out this task?

  I sat at the desk and stared at the blank monitor in front of me. My arms and hands were limp and heavy on my legs. I allowed my head to slump to the side. Under the false glass top of the desk, I saw the map of Adamsville. We lived on the north-eastern edge of town. Technically, we weren't even in the town. We lived just outside of the city limits. The main roads leading in and out of town connected to Main Street. The diner was on the corner of those main roads. Being a small town out of the way of the highway, we didn't see a lot of unintentional traffic.