Vanilla Moon: Acrimony

by Airiel Hawkins

  One of the library doors opened, causing me to look up. I sat up straight when I saw my sister, still in her pajamas, her bunny in her hand. Mr. Thumper, she called it. Although she's had it for years, these days, she only carries it around when she's upset.

  She didn't say anything as she walked up to me. She pushed my arm out of the way and climbed up into my lap and curled into a ball. "I'm sorry I hurt Ceres's feelings," she said in a soft, sad voice.

  "You didn't," I reassured her. I hugged her tight. "Riley is the one who upset her. You didn't do or say anything bad, so don't think that you're in trouble or anything."

  "But she started to cry I when I told her what happened…."

  I met my sister's eyes and saw them darken with sadness. Although they were amber when she was born, as it is with all Lycans, her eyes wouldn't change again until she hit puberty and the wolf awakened. Otherwise, they'd be amber right now. She cared so much and so deeply that convincing her that she wasn't the reason for Ceres's tears would take more than I could say I was prepared for.

  "Ceres didn't cry because of what you said," I reiterated. "She started to cry because Riley wasn't honest with her and what he said hurt her feelings. You told the truth when Riley would have lied about it. He didn't want Ceres to know what he said because he knew he was wrong to say it."

  "Then why did he?"

  I brushed my fingers through her jet-black hair and struggled to find an answer that would make sense to her. "You know how Mom always tells you to tell the truth, no matter how bad it is, because it's the right thing to do?" I asked. She nodded. "Riley knows that, but he didn't want to tell Ceres what he said to me because he knew it would be really bad and he didn't mean it. He loves Ceres the way he loves you. We're all his family. He said what he did because he's afraid of what her gift could mean. He's afraid of the day when she'll tell him something he doesn't want to hear, so he's trying to convince himself that she's not always right, even though she is. When Ceres is ready to talk to him again, he'll tell her that he's sorry and they'll work on being friends again."

  Mira leaned back and met my eyes. "What if he isn't sorry?" she asked.

  I sighed. "Then Riley and Selena will have to find somewhere else to live," I explained. "If Riley doesn't say he's sorry, Ceres won't be able to forgive him. Since I'm going to take over the pack when Dad isn't the Enkidu anymore, that means Ceres will be the Skaapie, like Mom is right now. That means that we're going to be in charge, so we can't have people here who can't trust us."

  "I don't want Riley to go away," she huffed. She scowled at me with her arms folded across her chest, Mr. Thumper caught in the middle. It amazed me that such a young person could make me feel so small. Somehow, this child scolding me made me feel two inches tall.

  "Then you should tell him to apologize."

  "I will," she declared. She stopped for a moment and her eyebrows knit together in concentration. "What did Riley mean when he said that?" she asked. "What does Ceres know?"

  I sighed again because I didn't know how to explain it to her. "A couple of months ago, when Ceres came here, she and I did something that put a baby in her belly," I said.

  "You mean you mated," Mira said with such matter-of-factness that I knew Mom already talked to her about it.

  I stuttered over my words for a moment. "Err… Yes," I said. "Exactly. At the time, Witches were trying to hurt her. They wanted her to go away and never come back because they thought she was supposed to be one of them. When it turned out that she's one of us, they were angry."

  "Okay…."

  "And you know how Lycans all have special abilities, right?" I asked. She nodded. "Ceres's is that she sometimes knows things. Once a thought gets in her head, she'll know right away if it's true or not. When Riley said what he did, he meant that he believed Ceres should have known that we were going to get into that car accident and that she was going to lose the baby. He meant that Ceres should have stopped us from being in the car that day."

  "But she didn't know that," Mira frowned. "If she knew, you wouldn't have been there."

  "Exactly," I agreed. "Riley meant that he didn't believe that she could know anything because she didn't know that."

  Mira shook her head and looked at her bunny. She started picking fuzz off it before she hugged it tightly. "Riley's mean," she said. "And stupid."

  I suppressed a chuckle. "He didn't mean it," I said.

  "Then he shouldn't have said it!" she cried, going back around the circle again. "I don't say things that I don't mean."

  "And that's a good thing," I assured her.

  Mira nodded to herself and looked deep in thought again before she turned to me. "Why does Mom have to be at the clinic with Dad?" she asked.

  "She's there because Dad was hurt very bad and their bond as mates helps him get better."

  "What does that mean?"

  "Do you want to see the book?" I asked.

  "What book?"

  "The Lycan book," I explained. "There's one in every pack and it gets passed down from the first Enkidu to the next. It helps each generation learn about their heritage."

  Her eyes brightened. My little sister loved learning More than anything else. "I can see it?" she asked with more excitement than I could muster.

  I smiled before I slid the chair back and looked for the oldest book on the shelves. The book for our pack was read and rebound more than once over the years. Dad even typed everything up soon after becoming the Enkidu, so we were no longer in danger of losing information in the handwritten pages. He also organized everything so that the reader didn't have to jump from one end of the book to the other just to get more information.

  I found the passage I wanted and held it so Mira could see. "Right here," I said, pointing to the words.

  "I can't read that!" she protested.

  "Yes, you can," I argued. "I know you can."

  She gave me an exasperated sigh before she took the book and looked at it. She squinted a little. "Wh-when a L-eye-can has been s-ser-ser…." She looked at me for help.

  "Seriously," I supplied.

  "Seriously.…" She looked up for more help.

  "Try it first."

  "In… in-ju-red?" she asked, looking up at me. I nodded, which made her grin because she got it right. "Only three things can help him: heel-ing, sh-ih-ft-ing, and being with his mate. If, for any… ree-san?" she asked.

  "Reason," I replied with a nod.

  "Reason, the Lycan can-not be healed and shifting is not a poss-i-bill-it-ee?" I gave her another nod of encouragement. "…the Lycan will only sur-vi-ve if his mate is nearby." She looked up at me. "What does that mean?" she asked.

  "It's what I told you earlier," I explained. "This means that if any Lycan is hurt very bad and the usual tricks to heal them don't work, they have to have their mate near them so that the energy of their bond can help the injured person heal. Does that make sense?"

  "What's so special about that?"

  "Everything," I said with a smile. "That is something Mom is going to have to tell you about when you're older though."

  She gave me a dramatic sigh. "I always have to wait until I'm older!" she cried. "Why can't I be older now?"

  I chuckled. "You'll get there," I promised. "It just takes time."

  "Well, when then?"

  I shrugged. "Mom will know. She's the one who told me."

  She sighed. "Okay," she muttered.

  I patted her back and moved her from my lap. "Why don't you get dressed and then find Ceres?" I suggested. "Maybe she can call Mom for you so that you can talk to her?"

  "Okay!" she exclaimed with a bright and happy grin.

  I stared at the book for a moment after she left the library. Once I put it back, I sent a text to Riley and the Guardians to have them come to meet me in the library. Hunter and Luke should be done and ready with the second copy of the list of Witches in the area. Ultimately, I needed to tell everyone what I knew, and I needed to tell them that I had a plan. Or at least
, I hoped I had a plan.

  They entered the library within a couple of minutes. Richard and Cynthia took the chairs in front of the desk because they were the strongest of the Guardians. Hunter and Margret stood behind them with Luke and Riley on either side. I saw the expectations in their gazes, and I wondered if I would be able to answer them.

  I cleared my throat. "As it turns out, our new enemy knows how to control us," I said. I saw their eyes flash amber as they filled with horror. The sudden sharp scent of their fear wrinkled my nose. "She can manipulate us and make us attack each other." Their fear wafted off them in waves that threatened to overwhelm me. It wasn't often a Guardian was scared, but it wasn't often that we found out the Witches were stronger than we ever imagined. I understood why they were so afraid. This was something we had never faced before. This was a foreign prospect for us. "That's why the Resting Grounds were so bloody," I whispered. "That's why we found so few survivors. We need to hit the Witches hard and fast, so they can't use their magic against us again. For something to affect that many Lycans at one time, the only thing that makes sense is that it requires a full coven to work. If we hit everyone at the same time, we have a chance to kill them before they can get us again."

  "Catch them off guard the way they did us?" Richard asked. I nodded. "Good plan. You're thinking like your father."

  I smiled because the compliment meant more to me than he could have known. I've looked up to Richard from the moment he became my father's Guardian, so the young teenager somewhere inside of me swelled with pride at his approval. My goal in life had become to be better than my father. Knowing what Richard thought proved that I was on the right track.

  "Hunter, Luke," I said. They nodded. "Do you have the list?"

  "What list?" Cynthia asked as Luke stepped forward to hand it to me.

  "My father asked them to compile a list of every Witch who had come to Adamsville in the last two weeks," I said. "I expanded that to get a complete list of every Witch in Adamsville currently alive. With their locations, we can discuss how best to kill them. I do still need to fine-tune my plan before we can put it into action, but I'm open to suggestions if anyone has any."

  They shook their heads. It wasn't their place to give me that kind of direction and they all knew it. This had to come from me. This had to be mine.

  I nodded. "Very well," I said, letting them know that I understood. "Richard, go to the clinic and keep an eye on my parents as well as the other survivors and their families?" I requested. I couldn't ask because it would show weakness. I had to give an order. This may not be my official first day as the Enkidu, but it was my practice run and I couldn't afford to fail. "Thank you," I said. I turned to the rest of them. "The rest of you can help me hold down the fort here. Everyone still needs breakfast, so I need a volunteer for that." I sighed and rubbed my face with my palms. "Please don't tell the pack how bad it is just yet," I instructed. "I'll tell them. When it's time."

  They nodded before they started to file out. Riley hesitated at the door before he turned back around and stepped up to me. For a moment, we stared at each other as if we were sizing each other up. Riley had been more of a brother than a cousin to me in the last ten years. So much so that I wondered if his relationship with his own brother had taken a hit as a replacement.

  "So… I'm sorry," he said. "I'll tell Ceres too…."

  I nodded. "Thanks," I said.

  "How's Dad?" he asked.

  My dad has been the only father in Riley's life since he moved here ten years ago. His father cut off most of their contact to make the separation easier. While humans could pack up and visit each other whenever they wanted, it wasn't so easy for us. I could understand why he was as worried about Dad's recovery as I was.

  "Bad," I replied. I cleared my throat. "Some of his bones were visible," I explained. His eyes widened. "His grip… it's so weak that it was like a baby held my finger. They have him on oxygen…."

  "Mother of God," Riley whispered.

  "Yeah," I said with a rough voice. I cleared my throat. "This whole thing feels so… I don't know… out of control," I confessed. "I mean, it all started with Ceres coming to town, but it should have ended when Alan and Addie died. Now, Abby is dead too, but there's this woman who must have some sort of connection to them that I don't understand because she just showed up out of the blue and we're not okay anymore. Four hundred people were turned into puppets and made to mutilate each other…" I whispered. "What kind of justice is there in that?"

  Riley shook his head. "None," he agreed. "The only thing we can do from here is to recover and make sure they can't hurt us like this again."

  "How the fuck are we supposed to stop this from happening again?" I demanded.

  "By making sure that we hunt them all down and kill every single one of those Witch bastards," Riley said as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

  "Right," I scoffed. "And afterward, I'll just hop on my fucking unicorn and go for a ride."

  "I'm not saying that it's going to be easy. I'm not saying that there isn’t going to be some part of us that's disgusted by the killing. I am saying that the only way this is going to stop is if we go in there and kill everyone. Even the kids."

  I shook my head. "No," I protested. Riley stared at me. "No!" I cried with more conviction. "Look, I have no issues killing their parents. They attacked me and mine. I am not going to be the one who kills innocent children, no matter who they might grow up to become."

  "So, instead, you'll leave them orphaned and homeless with a burning hatred for Lycans that will come back at us in ten years when they decide to exact revenge for the apparently senseless killing of their parents?"

  "Look," I said, meeting his eyes with an unflinching gaze, "in case you've forgotten, the Witches killed my child before it had a chance to take its first breath." Riley winced. "I. Am. Not. Killing. Kids. No matter what they might grow up to do."

  "Then we're going to be right back here in ten years, in this room, and I'm going to tell you that if you had just listened to me now, we wouldn't be worrying about it."

  I shrugged. "In ten years, I'll tell you that you were right, and I should have listened to you today, but today I'm telling you that my loss is still too severe for me to consider the possibility." I fell silent for a moment. "God, I can't wait for this to be over," I muttered.

  Riley nodded. "Agreed."

  Chapter 7 ~Ceres~

  "Ceres?"

  The sound of the little voice woke me. I rolled over toward the door and saw Mira standing at the threshold, looking nervous as she clutched a bunny to her chest.

  I sat up. "Hi, Sweetie," I said. "What's up?"

  "Wolfie told me to come and ask you if I can call my mommy and talk to her."

  "Sure," I said. I yawned as I reached for my phone. After unlocking the screen, I pulled up Ravyn's number and gestured for Mira to join me on the bed. She crawled up next to me, still clutching her bunny. I pulled her in close, then called the number.

  Ravyn answered the phone on the second ring. "Hello?" she asked.

  "There's a little one here who really misses her mom," I replied.

  Ravyn chuckled. "Put her on."

  I handed Mira the phone and she put it to her ear like a pro. I watched her talk while I thought about the children Wolfgang and I would have some day. I also thought about the one the Witches stole from us and felt my heart break all over again. I wanted to kill the people responsible for my loss and the fact that they were already dead didn't make me feel any better.

  My feelings were also still very mixed. While it killed me to know what I lost, there was a part of me relieved because there was no way we could have faced this situation with me pregnant. Wolfgang would have worried too much for him to be able to focus on what he needs to do to protect the pack. Knowing him, he would be so worried that it would cost him his life, my life, and again… ultimately… our baby.

  Still, I felt empty without that life growing inside of me. I felt a voi
d where that baby should be. I couldn't fathom why they decided to take my baby from me instead of killing us both at the same time. Maybe the only reason my baby was gone was that Wolfgang and I had already escaped their clutches twice before. They overpowered Wolfgang the first time when he was fifteen. They took me just before my first shift. They took us both together the night I shifted for the first time. All three times, we escaped. We were both lucky to be alive today and we needed to do everything in our power to stay that way.

  I forced myself to think along different lines as I looked at Mira and saw the tears in her blue eyes. She and Wolfgang shared their father's pale blue eyes that reminded me of the winter sky. Her hair still needed to be brushed and was just a black mess on top of her head. Her bunny made me think of a teddy bear I've had since I was a little girl. It was the only thing I had from Alan that I still cherished.

  Mira rubbed her eyes. "But I want you to come home!" she cried.

  "I know you do, Sweetheart," I heard Ravyn respond. "I'm sorry, but I have to stay here with Daddy so he can get better."

  "I know that," Mira mumbled. "Wolfie told me. But I need you, too! Can Ceres bring me to you? Please?"

  "Maybe tomorrow, Honey," Ravyn said. "Right now, there isn't anything fun for you to do here and you'll just be bored. You'd have to be really quiet because Daddy's sleeping and we can't wake him."

  Mira whined before she threw my phone as hard as her little arms could, which was harder than you'd think thanks to those Lycan genes. I was fast enough that I caught the phone just before it shattered against the wall.

  "Still there?" I asked, bringing the phone up to my ear.

  "Did she throw the phone?"

  "Yeah," I sighed. "She's pretty upset." I reached out and put my hand on Mira's back, but my mate's sister let out an angry grunt and shoved me away. She threw herself face down on the bed and started to kick her feet.