This wasn’t enough for him, either. He took his arms around her, bracing her so he could thrust up into her, deep and strong, the pleasure overwhelming. Her breasts pressed against his bare chest, her nipples hardening into tight peaks that only increased his need. Fuck. He could never get enough of her.
As he pumped into her, going as deep as he could, his control snapped.
Loud growls left his mouth as he shoved into her, frantic. Her nails scratched across the back of his shoulders as she cried out, driving his beast wild. Her inner muscles tightened around his cock, and as she pushed against him, her movements matched his own frantic rhythm. The intensity was unbearable, and tension coiled inside him as he moved inside her with hard strokes. Her breathing was as heavy as his own as she clutched at him.
His beast became frantic with the need for release as the ache intensified into desperation. He now stared into her eyes as he pumped between her legs. Their eyes locked, the deep green pools of hers pulling him in. His fangs were still elongated, but it made no different to her desire for him. She still wanted him, even after seeing his beast, and that knowledge brought fresh surges of heat. As her body quivered against him, nothing mattered but the fact they were together.
Her breath shuddered with each thrust of his cock, and he felt the small spasms rock her body as they pulsed against each other, driving each other toward release. As they both came together, a shout escaped his mouth. Shudders rocked his body as his beast roared with relief. He rested his forehead against the wall, waiting until his claws drew back as his breathing returned to normal. Ivy still had her arms around him and her mouth was on his neck, kissing softly. Once his fangs had retracted, he placed his palm against her cheek. “Ivy. I can’t be without you.”
And what just happened between them proved that despite his nature, they could be together.
She turned her cheek so she could kiss the hand that rested against her face. A tear dropped onto his fingers. “I want to be with you, Junaid, but I can’t. Please understand.”
She couldn’t mean it. After all that had passed between them…what they’d shared…she couldn’t leave him and marry another. But as he stared into her green eyes, full of pain, he realized that this was it. It was over.
And with that realization, he wished he’d never set eyes on her.
Something gripped him inside…something so cold that it sent ice rushing through his veins. He stepped back from her warmth. “In that case, leave. I don’t want to see you again, Ivy.”
“Junaid—”
“No! You do not call me again, and you do not ask me to meet you. I’m fucking done with you. I won’t let you mess around with my head anymore.”
As she rearranged her clothing, her voice trembled. “I didn’t mean for things to end up like this, Junaid. Please believe me.”
“Just leave. I’m done with you treating me like your bit of rough…good enough for you to fuck, but when you want anything more meaningful, you go for someone clean-cut and with money—”
“It’s not about the money. It’s about the security—”
“I don’t want to hear it. I’ve had enough of your bullshit and never want to see you again. Just get out of my life and stay there.”
Her stricken face turned pale, and his lion urged him to comfort her, but he couldn’t cope with this anymore. Since he’d met her, it was as if his emotions had become a tornado, thrown around, squeezed and bashed until he felt as if he could not feel anymore.
She would never leave Michael and come to him, and he wasn’t going to be that idiot who would be there for her whenever she needed him, to comfort her and do the things for her Michael couldn’t.
“You think you’re better off without me, Ivy? Well, I’ve just realized I’m better off without you, too.”
And with that, he turned his back to her and leaned over his desk.
The sound of her sobs came to him again, and as his claws extended, he gripped the table, scratching it and closing off his heart so he wouldn’t be tempted to go to her.
She waited…for him to tell her he didn’t mean what he said? But he’d meant it. Every word.
She opened the door and walked out of his life.
Good bye, Ivy.
He loved her, but he’d have to learn to live without her.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
* * *
IVY STEPPED BEFORE THE LARGE mirror in her bedroom, looking at her reflection through dead eyes. The white dress was a visual reminder of her apparent sin. Of what she had done with Junaid, not once, but many times. But when she was with the shifter, it had felt right. There had been no guilt…only acceptance and bliss. What they shared only became a sin when she returned to this environment.
Was she to spend the rest of her life seeking forgiveness for anything that brought her pleasure?
She forced a smile to her face. She had a part to play, that of a blushing bride. There would be important Association guests at the ceremony, and she couldn’t let people down, not any more than she already had.
She tried smiling again. Yes, the line stretched in the mirror, but it made no difference to the numbness inside her. She didn’t care about anything—she didn’t even care that she was marrying Michael or that she would be sharing his bed tonight, where they would prepare to procreate and bring more children into this fucked up world.
Nothing mattered apart from the fact that she was not with Junaid. With him and that passion gone, life was an empty shell, the way it had always been. The only difference was that she now knew and had nowhere to hide from the misery.
The door opened, and mother entered the bedroom, dressed in a blue silk dress, black jacket and a hat set off with large white roses. She gasped when she saw her. “Dear…you look absolutely beautiful.”
The beautician had done a great job. Ivy’s hair was in a chignon, set off by small white roses, and a bridal veil was arranged over it. She wore that embroidered shrug jacket for modesty over the strapless gown that fit beautifully, its skirt flowing out at her hips and skimming the floor; a little step was all it took for the material to swirl around her heels.
Mother frowned. “Are you all right?” Ivy stretched that line a little wider across her face to reassure the woman before her. “No, dear. A little less, please. That’s going to look terrible in the photos.”
She did as mother directed her. Photos made an impression, and what could be more important than that? She needed to be perfect for Michael, John and the other members. Perfect enough for her own mother to accept her.
Only one person had accepted her as she really was…even loved her for it…Junaid…
Now mother pressed a little metal vial in her hand, her voice low. “You remember what I told you, don’t you, about what you need to do when you lay with Michael?” She glanced around the walls, even though there was nobody in the room with them. “You must pretend to be in pain. As he beds you, keep this vial in your hand and release the hook on it. Blood will pour on the bed. When the sheet is displayed before Association members, you will be absolved of any guilt.”
“Don’t worry. I won’t shame you.”
Mother brought a hand to her face, stroking it. “I know it is difficult, my dear, but you will get used to it.”
“It’s not difficult.”
It wasn’t anymore, now that she felt nothing. Junaid’s love had turned to hatred that day. As he told her he never wanted to see her again, something broke inside her.
Fareeda’s voice came from outside the room. “We need to leave for the hotel.”
“We are coming,” mother called out. She then held Ivy’s face between her palms and leaned in to kiss her on the forehead, but Ivy stepped back, unable to bear contact with her.
“Let’s go,” she whispered as she picked up her white beaded pouch.
Pain flashed across Pearl’s face, but she covered it with a smile almost as fake as Ivy’s own as she fussed around her, holding her skirt from the back to make sure it di
dn’t trample under her heels as she went down the stairs. It was a strange world where people worried about the cleanliness of clothes over that of their own souls.
At the bottom of the stairs, Fareeda was in a suit that mother had purchased for her, just for the wedding. A lilac two-piece and a hat. Her mouth was open in wonder as Ivy descended the stairs. “Darling…” And now she wiped her tears away with a handkerchief. “You look so dazzling...”
“Thank you, Fareeda. You look beautiful.”
And she did, yet it was as if that subservience was embedded in her, and she carried it around with her, even in this outfit.
At the front of the house, a luxury limo decorated with white roses awaited them, and mother, Fareeda and she got into the back of it. Inside the vehicle, Pearl chatted to Fareeda. Ivy got the feeling that mother didn’t want to talk to her, as if she thought her daughter might crack at any moment and expose her real feelings.
Ivy stared out of the window as the chauffeur drove. Some pedestrians smiled at the decorated car, and a child waved at her. She gave him the same lifeless smile that she’d fixed to her face this morning.
Finally, they reached Phoenix…and now something pricked at her…a hint of emotion as she remembered the last time she came here, and how Junaid and she had been together. Even after she’d seen his beast emerge, it didn’t matter. Nothing had ever mattered in the face of how much he loved her and how she felt about him…
Inside the gate, the hostess waited for them…Shereen, the lady in white who she met at her first visit here. She seemed somber today as she took in Ivy’s appearance. When she held her hand out, it was an unexpected gesture, but Ivy automatically held hers out, too, touching her. A warmth spread through her, and memories came of Junaid…of how he’d held her against him that time in the hotel at Eclipse, when they’d truly been together for one night.
Was that night all they were to have?
Her chest clenched, and she suddenly wanted to cry. She didn’t care who was watching or the fact it would ruin her makeup. She wanted to release the pain stuck inside her. When she pulled back her hand, Shereen frowned. “I’ll take you into the building through a side entrance,” was all she said. “That way, none of the guests will see you before you enter the hall.”
Pearl turned to Fareeda. “I’ll go with Ivy. Could you check with John if any help is needed with anything?”
“Mother,” said Ivy. “Fareeda is here as our guest—”
“It’s all right.” Fareeda spoke quickly, as if worried about causing an altercation. When she smiled at Ivy, her eyes were bright. “The main thing is that I am here for your special day.” And with that, she scuttled away.
The hostess walked ahead of them both. They entered the building through a side entrance and then she led them through a corridor. Ivy’s heart clenched as they passed the office where she had been with Junaid a few days ago, and for a moment, she wondered if he was in there. But no, he’d meant it when he said he didn’t want to see her again.
Shereen led them both into a spacious room. Crystals were used to highlight the glass mosaics on its walls, and white wood furniture with soft pink cushions was spread around it. There were comfortable sofas and even a couch where one could lie down. “This is the relaxation room for brides,” she announced. “The ceremony will start in just over an hour, and someone will come to guide you to the main hall. I’ll arrange for snacks and drinks to be sent in.”
“That would be wonderful,” said mother.
The hostess indicated toward a button embedded in a panel on the wall. “If you need anything, press that button and I will be here.”
“Thank you.”
The hostess glanced between them both, her eyes landing on Ivy. “There is still an hour to go.” And with that, she turned and left the room.
Mother was still intent on avoiding talk, because she went to the window and pulled open the blinds. The faint sound of Association blessings spread around the garden outside, declaring its ownership over this area for today. A celling of white roses had been created and under it, in the middle of the garden, was a customized ice creation…a lifelike sculpture of Michael and Ivy. A few guests stood around it now, mouths open in amazement as they took photos. That sight would please John and his son no end.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” asked mother.
“If you say so.”
Mother closed the blinds again and came to sit on the sofa. They both sat in silence until a liveried waiter arrived with refreshments. Savory snacks and miniature cakes plus tea and coffee. He placed everything on the table, and mother gave him a tip before he left. She then glanced at the spread, the enthusiasm in her voice forced. “Doesn’t this look lovely? Everything is so perfect.”
“Yes. Perfect, mother. Everything’s turned out as you wanted.”
Mother shifted to the edge of the sofa, her back straight. When she leaned over to take her hand, Ivy pulled it away. “I’m only doing what’s—”
“I know.” Ivy couldn’t hold back the bitterness in her voice. “And I’m going through with it, aren’t I? So can’t you just shut your mouth for once and let me be?”
“Ivy…?”
Ivy shook her head. “This will be easier for me to get through if I don’t have to stare at your face before the ceremony. Please just leave. Go and mingle with your darling Association members and chat with them about what a wonderful day this is. Celebrate your new position in the organization with them.”
Her mother stood without saying another word and then walked out of the room.
Ivy stared at the table before her. When her phone rang from inside her beaded pouch, she barely registered the sound. It was as if it came from a distance. It eventually stopped ringing. Good. There was no reason for her to speak to anyone. She would crawl inside herself and hide there, only emerging when she was needed. Perhaps when she had children, it would be better? Would they understand her? Perhaps then she would finally have someone who would love and accept her…the way Junaid did.
When her mobile rang again, she took it out of the pouch. The number was an unknown one. She rejected the call, but a few seconds later, it rang again. Frustrated, she picked it up. “Hello?”
“Hello. Is this Ivy?” asked the male voice on the other side.
She didn’t recognize the voice, but she probably wasn’t in any condition to. “Yes. It is.”
“This is Shaun. We met at Blade’s party…at his villa.” The wolf? Why was he calling? Something to do with Junaid? “Ivy? I need to pass some information on to you.”
“Information? I don’t understand.” What kind of information did he want to pass on to her today?
“Junaid asked me to look into your finances for you.” That detail left her unable to respond. “I’ve tried to get in touch in with him, but his phone’s off, and he’s taken leave from work.”
Concern for the lion shifter broke through the barriers she’d erected around herself. “Is he all right?”
“Yes, of course. Probably just taking a break.”
She released a sigh. Thank God. “What did he want you to check?”
“Nothing that would invade your privacy. I just checked a few documents, so you knew where you stood in terms of your finances.”
Something she’d often wondered about. “Go on.”
“As you know, your father left behind a portfolio of properties and investments. He had a good head for a deal, and some of those investments have experienced huge unexpected growth. You and your mother are very rich women.” Rich women? Yes, they had a beautiful house and a good standard of living, but it hadn’t changed much from what she remembered it being as a child. They’d always had this amount of wealth. “I haven’t been through all your assets, but so far I’ve come across a total of over $30,000,000…”
She froze, her hands clutching the mobile. Surely there had been a mistake. According to John, the business barely pulled in their household expenses and a salary for Michael.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
She thought of all those times Michael had written out checks, and every time she’d asked how things were going with the company, he’d brushed her off, telling her it was just about managing, and even that was only because of his hard work. Over $30,000,000? When Michael’s father had encouraged the engagement, he made it out as if he was doing her a favor and great honor. But the truth was that mother and she were rich…with the kind of wealth the leader of the Manhattan branch and his son could only ever dream of.
“Hello? Ivy?”
“I’m still here.”
“Like I said, there’s more to go through.”
“Thank you. Thank you for your help.” And then she asked the question. “Do any of the assets belong to me?”
“Your father transferred half the assets to you and half to your mother before his death. I hope this is helpful.”
“Thank you…it is helpful.”
“Junaid hoped it would be. He really cares about you, you know.”
She didn’t respond to that part. “Good bye, Shaun. And thanks for all your help.”
She ended the call before glancing around her, at nothing in particular. She was a rich woman, but did that really change anything? No…but knowing that all these years John had played mother and her like puppets did. And he’d only been able to do it because of their fear…
What madness had she been about to succumb to? Rejecting someone who loved her for a man who only saw her as a means to further his own position. She wouldn’t go through with this wedding. Junaid might never forgive her, but she would deal with that when the time came.
The fear…it was time to let it go.
She’d been kidding herself all these years. That dread she’d felt as a child…it never left even after John took responsibility for mother and her. It always remained, keeping her chained to an organization she should never have been part of. She would back out of this soulless marriage…not just for Junaid, but for herself. Yes, she would make enemies—but she refused to continue being scared. From now, she’d live her life the way she wanted.
Blood Moon Box Set Page 61
