All I Ever Wanted

by Alexa Land

  “Well, good.”

  “I bought it.”

  “You bought a tux?”

  “Yup, at that super cool secondhand store on Geary,” he said as he got to his feet. “You haven’t even seen the best part yet.” Quinn grabbed the front of his pants and pulled, and they tore away, revealing yellow bikini briefs and a pair of cowboy boots. “I think it used to belong to a stripper! I should rent myself out for bachelorette parties.” He started beatboxing and waving his hips around with his hands in the air.

  I turned to Cole and muttered, “Coming back to my apartment was a terrible idea. We should have gone back to your place and enjoyed the brownies in Duke’s designated eating zone.”

  Quinn stopped dancing and said, “Brownies?”

  I waved the storage box and told him, “That’s right. Peanut butter and chocolate, homemade. If I give you one, will you go to your room so Cole and I can watch a movie?”

  He accepted the bribe and headed to his room while we settled in on the couch. I started to pull up Netflix, but then I turned my head and asked, “What are you doing?”

  Quinn was standing just inside the door to his room, breaking off chunks of brownie and sticking them in his mouth. “I want to watch what you’re watching,” he said. “I went to my room like you said, but don’t worry, I can see the screen from here.”

  Cole chuckled at that, and after we exchanged looks, I turned back to Quinn and said, “Just come here. You can watch with us.”

  “Yay!” Quinn bounded back into the room and took a flying leap onto the couch, which made us bounce.

  After we selected a movie, I put my arm around Cole and we settled in comfortably. Meanwhile, my roommate curled up on his side with his head on my thigh and snagged another brownie from the coffee table. As Quinn packed the dessert into his cheek like a hamster, Cole whispered, “This is exactly what it’ll be like if we ever decide to have kids.” I knew he was kidding, but it still made me feel warm inside.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Tyler Remmy scares the shit out of me.”

  Trevor stopped packing up his toolbox and turned to look at me. As he pulled down the brim of his baseball cap to block the bright July sunlight, he asked, “Why?”

  “Because he’s unhinged. He didn’t like the way I was dicing some peppers yesterday, so he started yelling at me while waving around a meat cleaver. I was pretty sure I was going to end up with a free lobotomy. I don’t know how you lasted so long as his apprentice.”

  My friend shrugged and said, “We got along pretty well, actually.”

  “Well, I can’t say the same. I’m glad he’s going back to France at the end of summer. I just have to get through eight weeks without provoking a cleaver to the cranium.”

  “How are you feeling about stepping in as head chef once Remmy leaves?”

  “Okay, that part’s insane. I keep expecting Dante to say, ‘Just kidding!’ I mean, I know he’s eager to get out of the restaurant business, but why doesn’t he just sell it? That building would bring him a fortune in this real estate market.”

  “He thought it made more sense to hold on to it as a long-term investment. Plus, he knows the restaurant’s a steady source of revenue. As a silent partner, he gets to sit back and cash the checks without having to worry about a thing.”

  “But if I run it into the ground, there won’t be any checks to cash. Didn’t he think of that?”

  Trevor grinned at me. “Are you going to be like this all summer? If so, I need to start carrying around paper bags for you to breathe into.”

  “Sorry. I know my whining must be getting old, but these past three weeks have just been overwhelming. The new sign for the restaurant arrived yesterday, and there it was, spelled out in steel: Pescado. And then it hit me: this is really happening! Also, do you think I should have named it something other than ‘fish’? Everything else I thought of sounded pretentious, but now it just seems way too simplistic. I feel like I’m dooming it to failure before we even open the doors!”

  “Okay, that’s it.” Trevor took my hammer from me and grabbed my hand. “We’re going to get you out of the sun and find you a nice, cold beer. I can hear the panic building, and you need to take a breath.”

  We were in the backyard of a narrow row house in the Excelsior District, and Trevor led me through the busy construction site to a picnic table under a blue canopy. Dante joined us a few moments later. He took one look at me and said, “Don’t tell me, let me guess. Restaurant panic?”

  “What else?” Trevor popped the cap off and handed me a beer, then opened two more, one for his brother-in-law and another for himself.

  “I wouldn’t have brought you on if I didn’t think you could do this, River,” Dante said as he sat beside me on the tabletop.

  “I’m sorry, Dante. I know my recurring freak-out sessions aren’t exactly instilling you with confidence.”

  “There’s no reason to apologize, or to panic. From my perspective, you’re killing it. The menu you’ve been developing is fantastic, and so is your take on upscale, regional Mexican and Central American seafood. I’m impressed by how far you’ve gotten in such a short time.”

  “That’s because I’ve been mentally planning the menu for my dream restaurant since I was about fifteen.”

  Dante said, “See how ready you are? Every dish you’ve cooked for me has been mind-blowingly innovative and delicious.”

  “I’m glad you think so.”

  “Don’t forget, you have an extremely competent kitchen and front-of-the-house staff to make your vision a reality, and they all support you.”

  “I don’t think Tyler Remmy supports me. He called me a boob yesterday. Is that a viable insult in modern-day France?”

  Trevor said, “Just remember, he’s only here for a few more weeks, during the transition. Soon he’ll be gone, and you’ll get to take over.”

  “If he doesn’t murder me first.” I drained half the bottle, then turned to Dante and said, “Enough about that. Tell me how it’s going with you and the kid brigade.” I gestured across the yard at Jayden, Joely, and two other teenagers, who were painting the back of the house.

  “It’s going well, I think. Getting all of us to volunteer for Hunter and Brian’s nonprofit was a stroke of genius on your part,” Dante said. “Besides giving the brothers a chance to get to know Charlie and me, I’ve seen a change for the better in all the kids. They seem more confident, and I can tell they feel good about giving back. I’d never have guessed it’d be such a great fit, formerly homeless teens helping revamp housing for disabled veterans. But it’s perfect.”

  “You seem to be enjoying the work, too,” I said.

  “Charlie and I both are. It feels great to work with my hands and to watch the progress on this place.”

  “You did a good thing, River.” Trevor raised his beer in a toast before taking a drink.

  “I didn’t do much. I just brought the kids and the nonprofit together.”

  “You did more than that. For one thing, you and Cole have been out here volunteering for three weeks straight to get this house ready for the big reveal today,” Trevor said.

  “Well, it’s an important cause,” I said. “The veteran who’ll be living here couldn’t even fit her wheelchair into that narrow downstairs bathroom before the renovations. It feels good knowing everything’s going to be safe and accessible for her.”

  Cole stepped through the back door with a paint bucket just then and looked around the yard. I waved to him, and he smiled when he saw me. “I don’t have to ask how things have been going between you two,” Dante said. “It’s written all over your faces.”

  “It’s been amazing,” I murmured.

  “The two of you are coming to Nana’s Fourth of July party tonight, right?”

  “Oh yeah. We have the night off, since both Nolan’s and your restaurant are closed for the holiday.”

  “Our restaurant,” Dante corrected, “not just mine.”

  I whispered
, “Jesus,” under my breath, and Dante grinned at me.

  “A year from now, when you’re running the hottest restaurant in San Francisco, I’m going to remind you how freaked out you were before it opened, and how unnecessary all of that was.”

  “You’re a good friend, Dante. Thanks for believing in me.” I got up and said, “I’ll talk to you both a bit later, okay?”

  “Go get your man,” Trevor said cheerfully. “I knew you’d be sucked into the Cole vortex the moment you laid eyes on him.” I grinned at my friends and jogged across the yard.

  Cole, Hunter, and Brian were disassembling a couple sets of saw horses and stacking them beside the wood fence, and I kissed Cole before asking, “What can I do to help?”

  Hunter looked around the yard and tucked a strand of long, blond hair behind his ear, which had escaped from his low ponytail. “The construction crew is hauling the last of their equipment out of here, so maybe you can help with that. It looks like the kids are just about done putting the finishing touches on the paint, so we’re totally on schedule for the big reveal. Danielle and her family will be here in just about half an hour.”

  “On it!” I kissed Cole’s grinning lips again before hurrying off to help load the trucks.

  *****

  The house belonged to a former Army corporal named Danielle Larson, who’d lost both legs and an arm in Iraq. She and her husband had three cute kids, and the whole family started crying when they went through the house about thirty minutes later. In addition to the practical changes, like making it wheelchair accessible, the whole home had been cleaned and painted, and bouquets of flowers, a couple pieces of new furniture, and some cheerful decorations had been brought in to brighten up the place. As Hunter explained, sometimes the littlest changes made the biggest difference. Cole and I stood at the back of the crowd, holding hands and feeling so grateful to be a part of it.

  Finally, when the reveal was done and our crew had been thanked about a hundred times by the grateful family, we walked to our cars with Hunter and Brian, and I told them, “You guys have the best job in the world. You know that, right?”

  “We got lucky,” Hunter said as he squeezed his husband’s hand. “We started out as volunteers, and then these two staff positions opened up and it all just fell into place. It was like the universe turned the page for us and said, ‘here you go, here’s the next chapter of your lives.’ I’m so grateful to get to make a difference like this.”

  We reached my van, and I said, “Well, I’m looking forward to getting started on the next house. In the meantime, will we see you at Nana’s party tonight?”

  “Actually, we’re sitting this one out,” Brian said. “We have a more private celebration planned.” He and Hunter grinned at each other.

  Cole and Hunter gave each other a quick, friendly hug, and not for the first time, I found myself trying and failing to picture them as the couple they once were. After Cole and I got in the van and I pulled away from the curb, I told him what I’d been thinking, and he grinned a little and said, “I know what you mean. Hunter and I never made sense. Not that he and Brian do, either. They just seem like two very different people. But then, they’re also madly in love and incredibly happy together, so what do I know?”

  I said, “I wonder what they think about you and me. When we broke up, did Hunter say, ‘he was never right for you anyway’?”

  “I didn’t really talk to him about our break-up, so I don’t know what he thought about it. We’re friends, but we’re not confidantes or anything. The only people I talked to were Catherine and Ash. Cat thinks you’re terrific and always hoped we’d get back together. Ash on the other hand…well, that’s not important.”

  “What?”

  Cole hesitated a moment, then admitted, “He’s not your biggest fan. But, think about it. He and I got to be friends after you and I split up. He doesn’t know you at all, so to him you’re just the guy who broke my heart. Given that, he wasn’t thrilled when I told him you and I were getting back together.”

  “I have to confess, I kind of hated his guts for a while there, too. I was so jealous when I saw you with him and thought you were a couple.”

  “He’ll be at the party tonight, which is good because I’ve been wanting to introduce you two. Once he gets to know you, I’m sure he’ll revise his opinion, and I look forward to that. I really want my best friend and my boyfriend to get along.” I flashed him a smile, and he asked, “Why are you so happy all of a sudden?”

  “I just love the fact that I’ve regained my title. I’m not your ex, and not just the guy you’re dating. I’m your boyfriend.” He grinned at me, and I reached over and squeezed his hand.

  We stopped by my apartment first, so I could shower and pick up Quinn. As soon as I walked in the door, something jumped on my head with a loud screeching sound. I cussed a blue streak while I spun around and tried to dislodge whatever was attacking me, and after a few moments, Puffy jumped off me and ran into Quinn’s room. I yelled, “Why is that furry maniac back here? We sent him home a week ago!”

  Quinn came out of his room in a pair of tight red shorts, flip flops, and a white tank top with an American flag rendered in sequins. He flipped a pair of white-framed sunglasses to the top of his head and said, “Puffy missed me, so Cat and Conrad brought him over for a playdate. We’re all going to meet up at Nana Dombruso’s shindig.”

  “Puffy’s going to hate being at a pool party.”

  “No he won’t. Look what I bought him!” Quinn spun around and yanked a round, inflatable castle through the door of his bedroom. “He’s been sitting on it all afternoon. See? It’s all cushy, and it’ll fully shade him from the sun. I think it’s meant for like, baby royalty or something.”

  “That’s not going to fit in the van.”

  “Of course it will! You just have to think positive! These are going to fit, too.” He disappeared into his room, and a moment later, he stuffed two more inflatables through the doorway: a bigger than life-size blue dolphin and an eight-foot-long brown cock and balls.

  “Okay, where the hell do you shop?” I asked, as Cole chuckled and gave the dolphin a hug.

  “Mostly online at three a.m. when I’m drunk,” Quinn told me as he hauled a bulging, red-white-and-blue beach bag into the room. “I find the best stuff that way!”

  “You know kids are going to be at this Fourth of July party,” I said. “Is a huge peen really the most appropriate thing to bring along?”

  “You have such a dirty mind.” He pulled a spiky green inner tube from his room, which he jammed over the top of the dick like a headband. “It’s a two-piece palm tree with coconuts.”

  “Of course it is,” I said. “I’m going to get a quick shower. Let about half the air out of those, okay? I’ll help you blow them back up when we get to the party.”

  “I’ll help you, Quinn,” Cole said. He pulled the plug at the tip of the big dick and grabbed it in a bear hug. We all started laughing when it made a high-pitched wailing sound as it started to deflate.

  A few minutes later, the three of us were packed into my van, along with the pool toys and the cat. Puffy sat on Quinn’s lap, glaring at me, and I said, “I don’t think he likes his outfit.” The cat was wearing a blue shark costume with a stuffed fin protruding from his back, along with what looked like a tiny, bondage-inspired, studded black leather harness and leash.

  “Of course he does,” Quinn informed me. “He picked it out himself.” I knew better than to debate him.

  When we pulled up in front of Cole’s apartment, he said, “Come on in. It’ll just take me a few minutes to get cleaned up.”

  Quinn and the cat and I tried to get comfortable in the living room while Cole took a shower. “This is the most uncomfortable couch ever,” Quinn announced. He slid off of it dramatically and sprawled out on the area rug. “It’s like a prank couch. You think it’s going to be soft and cushy, but then, surprise! It’s just a thin sheet of medical green fabric over concrete.”

>   “Medical?”

  “Yeah, you know. That weird shade of, like, doctors’ scrubs and bed pans.”

  “I’m pretty sure bed pans aren’t green.”

  “Whatever.” As he was talking, my roommate flung one flip-flopped foot up onto the coffee table and stretched his arms over his head. The cat looked a bit judgmental as he glanced at Quinn from his perch on the sofa.

  Duke did too when he came into the room a moment later. “Howdy, officer,” Quinn called out. Duke just blinked at him.

  I said, “Hey Duke. Are you coming to Nana Dombruso’s Fourth of July party? I ran into Finn a couple days ago and he mentioned he’d invited you.”

  “I…um….” He looked at me, then back at Quinn and asked my roommate, “Why are you on the floor?”

  “Because it’s a lot more comfortable than the Rock of Gibraltar,” Quinn explained. Duke just looked perplexed.

  “You should come with us,” I said. “There’s room for one more in the van, and Nana’s parties are always a good time.”

  “I volunteered to work a double shift,” Duke said. “Between the drinking and the illegal fireworks, the Fourth is always a busy day down at the station.”

  Quinn sat up and exclaimed, “Oh shit! I totally forgot to bring the crate of illegal fireworks that I bought in a back alley in Chinatown.” When he noticed my stricken expression, he said, “What? The dude with the eye patch who sold them to me assured me they’re perfectly safe!”

  “He’s kidding,” I told Duke, whose brows had instantly fused together above the bridge of his nose. “Quinn would never buy illegal fireworks, and he certainly wouldn’t be dumb enough to talk about them in front of a police officer. Right Quinn?”

  Surprisingly, he actually caught on and said, “Of course I’m kidding. Illegal fireworks? No way! Those are…illegal.”

  I nodded at that. “Exactly.”

  “Hey, River, can we swing back by our apartment when Cole gets out of the shower, so I can get my crate of…um…condoms? You know what I always say, bag your meat if you go into heat!”