Pain (Curse of the Gods Book 5)

by Jaymin Eve

  Several murmurs of agreement followed his statement, and I waited for him to elaborate. When he didn’t, I decided to take a chance and assume that Staviti had lied about most things in Topia.

  “The servers weren’t created by Staviti,” I announced. “They were only reanimated by him: dead dwellers, brought partially back to life with the will to do only his bidding, and nothing more or less. That is why the souls seemed wrong—because he had defiled them, and they longed to escape. To die in peace.”

  “I felt their deaths,” Crowe said thoughtfully, and it sounded as though he was agreeing with me. “If this is true, if we are all truly independent of Staviti, then you will need to prove it.”

  “Emmanuelle is your proof.” Cyrus answered for me. “Willa is not in control of Topia, and yet she has created a Goddess of Fertility—who is standing here as capably as all of you, and just as powerful.”

  Crowe scoffed. “The flower girl? I truly hope that you don’t expect us to believe that this dweller-turned-god has created another dweller-turned-god just because one stands here beside her?”

  I was starting to get annoyed, and I could feel the urge to turn Crowe into a mudhog as I had Terrance, just to prove a point … but that wouldn’t be good enough of a demonstration. These were serious times, and they called for more serious measures. I turned away from the crowd and walked over to the servers still quietly playing their instruments as though nothing interesting was happening around them. I tapped the nearest server on the shoulder and he quickly set his instrument aside and scrambled to his feet. The others continued playing, completely unfazed.

  “Sacred One,” he greeted quickly, “was the music not to your liking? We have other songs we could play, or we could ask Suzannah to leave.” He shot a quick look to the male server who had been seated right beside him and who, I realised now, was playing slightly off-tempo compared to the others.

  “What’s your name?” I asked him.

  “Brianna,” he replied. “How can I serve you, Sacred One?”

  “Come with me, Brianna.” I turned, walking back to my spot on the stage, and though I didn’t want to admit that I needed them, I felt instantly calmed by the proximity to my Abcurses.

  I positioned Brianna where everyone could see him, but before I closed my eyes, I found my attention misdirected by the panteras again. They were still gathered outside the garden. Watching. Waiting.

  What are you waiting for?

  I hadn’t actually expected an answer, so I was startled when Leden’s voice rang clearly in my mind.

  We are drawn here, Willa Knight. The land is ready for change, and we need to witness that change.

  I thought we were past riddles, I thought back, unable to help the way my eyes rolled a little. I imagined that if I had been standing beside her, I would have heard Leden’s snort.

  It is only a possibility, she returned. You are only a possibility. We wait to see if possibilities will become realities.

  I thought about what she had said as I closed my eyes and laid my hands over the shoulders of the server before me. For some reason I was stuck on one small detail: whether Leden’s possibilities were good or bad. Were they waiting with hope, or despair? It was impossible to tell, but it made me begin to second-guess myself. My grip began to waver a little, but heat quickly passed across my spine, and I recognised the familiar energy of my Abcurses drawing close. They weren’t actually touching me or hiding me from the view of the other gods and goddesses, but they had felt my insecurity and had moved in immediately. There were times when it was annoying for them to hear my thoughts, or disorientating for me to wake up inside one of their heads when I was asleep—but in this particular instant, I had never been more grateful for the soul-bond.

  My hands steadied, and the frantic beating of my heart slowed into a normal rhythm, allowing me to focus on what I was doing.

  “This may not be perfect,” I announced, projecting my voice. “I am not turning a sol into a god, as Staviti does. I’m taking the damaged soul that remains in this server and making it whole again. Then I will shape that soul into a god.” I trailed off at the excited exclamations that suddenly swelled around me.

  I focussed my attention inward. I had expelled more energy than there was to spare already, and the last time I had turned someone into a god, it had sent me into a comatose state … so I wasn’t particularly confident. Unfortunately, it seemed like my only course of action.

  Live, I thought, sending the intention through the stiff, almost unresponsive body beneath my fingertips. It was the mantra I had used to save Emmy … but it had also turned into Emmy’s gift. I frowned, wracking my brain for a simple power that would hopefully drain my energy less than Fertility had. Finally, I settled on something that might help to win more of the gods over to our side: flattery. I was going to make a God of Flattery.

  I focussed on that intention, repeating the word over and over in my mind as I gripped the server and willed him to become more. To make his soul whole again. To be filled with the magic of Topia; to become animated again with the life that had once driven his sun-cycles. The energy drained from me at a frighteningly rapid rate, but I held on until it felt as though I had poured the entirety of what I had into the body beside me.

  When I stumbled back from him, strong hands quickly snatched me up, and I settled into the warm, familiar circle of Siret’s arms.

  “Well…,” Brianna started, without an ounce of mechanical formality in his tone. “That was very impressive. Very well done. Superbly done, in fact. You could make a living out of that old trick. I’m blown away by your skill. What was your name again? It’s a pleasure—an absolute pleasure—to make your acquaintance.”

  Before I could reply, there was a sudden onslaught of noise. The party had descended into chaos suddenly, and at first I thought it was just because of what I had done—until I realised that everyone was scattering into the trees. Cyrus’s voice boomed through the clearing, projected so loudly that it set my teeth together.

  “Emergency portals have been set up within the safety of the garden. Please follow the light and make your way to our designated safe landing platform before you attempt to travel home.”

  He raised his arms and white tendrils of light fell from his fingers, ranging over the ground and weaving between people until they reached the far end of the garden, where they began to climb into the air again, forcing an outline of what I assumed were the “emergency exit” pockets. I had no idea what had caused the commotion, but a quick check told me that Yael was still safe—standing only a few feet away. I turned my head to check on the panteras, and that was when I saw them: an army of servers brandishing weapons.

  We’d decided earlier that the gods would be too arrogant to use weapons, but none of us had considered that servers would. It was the best way to attack. Weapons weren’t magic, they could be used inside the garden. This wasn’t even Staviti’s first attempt at sending armed servers after us—Emmy had told me about the attack on her and Cyrus. We should have realised that he would do it again while we were in a place protected from magic. I quickly pulled Pica’s note from my pocket where I had shoved it after getting dressed. The name of her server stared back at me, and I shouted it quickly as Siret’s arms tightened around me and he started to herd me from the stage.

  “Wait,” I urged him as the server popped up before us. She looked straight to me and reached for my arm. “Wait,” I said again, but this time to her. “Take the others first.”

  “I am sorry, Sacred One. I have orders,” she informed me before her hand closed around my arm and I was yanked into darkness.

  Moving through the pocket seemed to take longer than usual, and by the time the pressure disappeared and I could see the light again, I had run through a ton of worried scenarios of what my guys were dealing with back in the garden. I should have been the last one to leave, not them.

  Staviti had sent servers brandishing weapons—forged from Crowe in all probability—and
they were capable of doing serious damage to the gods I had left behind. He hadn’t come himself though, which was a relief … and also a worry. What was he waiting for?

  “Please make yourself comfortable, Sacred One.”

  I turned my attention to the server, finally noticing that her skinsuit was a garish neon pink. Even the bald sheen of her head had a pink tinge to it. How creepy.

  “Are you going to get the others now?” I demanded, deciding not to waste any time on pleasantries.

  As much as I hated to be rude to a being that lived their afterlife dealing with arrogant gods, I didn’t have time to talk in circles. I needed to know that the others were safe. She just stared blankly at me, as if she couldn’t compute my question, indicating that my attempt to have this conversation as quickly as possible had been wasted. I tried another tactic. “I need you to go and get Abil’s sons now, please, and bring them here the same way you brought me here.”

  The blank look remained.

  What the hell is going on?

  “Can you fetch me something to drink or eat?” I asked, my brow wrinkling as a worrying thought hit me.

  She sprang to life all of a sudden, her mechanical voice once again filling the room. “Of course, Sacred One, your comfort is my number one priority.”

  Twirling tendrils of panic started to unfurl in my chest, pushing at the edges of my sanity. I was exhausted already, and the truth of what was happening completely drained the last of my energy. “You’re not going to bring anyone else here, are you?” I asked softly.

  The server shook her head. “I am here to serve you and keep you as comfortable as possible until the most sacred of all the gods arrives here.”

  “The most sacred of all the gods is … Pica?”

  I wasn’t sure at this stage if I preferred Pica or Staviti—it was starting to look like they were almost as bad as each other with the lying and the manipulating.

  The server nodded her head jerkily. “Oh yes, the most sacred. The most loving. The most generous—”

  I cut her off. “I get the point. She’s the most everything.” Including the most lying bitch of all the bitches. “And what is Pica going to do with me when she arrives?” I asked, wondering how much information I might be able to glean from her server.

  I needed to know exactly what I’d stumbled into. Or even better, I needed to know where the hell I was. The room looked a lot like all of the marble rooms I’d been in before, which was why I hadn’t been alarmed at first, but upon closer inspection I noticed there were long, thick silver bars on the door, and there was very little in the way of furniture. There was only a fluffy rug, a small bed in the corner, and an arched doorway leading to a bathing room—though there was no door for privacy.

  The server hadn’t answered my last question, so I tried again when I returned my gaze to her. “Where am I?”

  She opened her mouth to reply, but it wasn’t her voice that I heard.

  “You’re in my safest, most perfect home.”

  I stared blankly at her, trying to figure out what had happened.

  “Did Pica just speak through your mouth?” I asked dumbly.

  “No, my silly Willy.”

  This time the voice was closer, and it definitely hadn’t come from the server. I spun around to find Pica standing a few feet away, her hands filled with flowers, face flushed and eyes sparkling.

  “I’m so happy right now,” she exclaimed.

  I crossed my arms, trying to keep my cool. I was tired, worried about my guys, and extremely pissed off about being lied to. Even so, there was a certain way to handle Pica’s particular brand of crazy, and I needed her to give me what I wanted. So I needed to keep my temper under control.

  “I’m so happy, too,” I lied through my teeth, forcing myself to step closer to her. “To be here with you, to have your love and protection … it means so much to me.”

  Pica’s smile was brilliant, for just a click, and then it faded away to be replaced with something as dark and swirling as the storm of wraiths.

  “You were going to leave me.” Her voice was so soft that it shouldn’t have been as scary as it was. “Then what would I do with all of my love?”

  I swallowed hard, letting my arms fall to my sides. “I would never leave you, Pica,” I appealed. “You are … my family.”

  “And you love me?” she asked suddenly.

  “Yes, of course I do,” I lied. “But I also love my Abcurses, and I need them here with me in this amazing and protective home.”

  Pica screamed: a guttural sound that echoed so loudly that my ears actually rang for a moment after she stopped. The flowers flew everyone as she moved so quickly that she was in my face in a mere fraction of a click. I didn’t even noticed the blade she had in her hands until it was hovering close to my throat. “You should need none but me,” she shrieked in my face, the blade wobbling dangerously close to my skin. “I do not share my things, Willy.”

  I’d thought I had handled this situation when I told her about leaving and making it seem like I didn’t want to, but apparently all I had done was push her over the edge of whatever remnant of sanity she’d been holding on to.

  “Why are you doing this?” I choked out. “This isn’t love.”

  Pica’s expression transformed again, to one of sunshine and roses. Her voice was back to its musical trills. “Oh, yes, my dear, this is exactly what love is. You are my child, Willy. My Silly Willy, and I will not let anyone take my child from me again.”

  “Why do you have a knife pressed to my throat then?” I asked, hoping she would step back just a little.

  She pressed the blade closer instead, the sharp edge pricking my skin. “This is a blade of Crowe,” she whispered. “I will use it to send you to the imprisonment realm if you try to leave me again.”

  Her logic was skewed. She was determined for me not to leave her, but she was willing to kill me if she didn’t get her way.

  “If you kill me, you’ll lose me,” I warned her. “You’ll lose me forever. I won’t be able to stay here with you.”

  “No,” she argued. “Your body will remain, and I can keep it here, perfect forever, and it will never leave me.”

  Her final words had my stomach roiling. Okay then, apparently she didn’t need my soul or anything, she was good with just the suit I wore.

  “But …” Pica pressed herself even closer so that our bodies were practically touching, the blade still held between us. “If you promise never to leave me, Willy, to be my child and stay by my side for the rest of our lovely sun-cycles, then I will not harm one hair on your perfect head.”

  She waved a hand and the blonde strands of hair that had been visible in my line of sight began to turn a subtle shade of pink. “My pink Silly Willy.”

  Pink! Oh, for fuck’s sake …

  “How will we stop the Abcurses from coming for me?” I asked, acting like I was on her side. “They’re very determined.”

  She tilted her head to the side, smiling again, her eyes somewhat vacant. “No one will ever find this house. If I am killed while you are in this room, you will remain here forever. Only my server and I can remove the room’s power source. I have spent hundreds of life-cycles hiding this from all but the Creator and Rau. None will find me when I don’t wish to be found.”

  Except … Staviti.

  The panic bubbled up inside me with a force that my control threatened to snap completely. I was about to be the one screaming because I couldn’t stay trapped here with Pica. There had to be a way for me to fight against her. As determined as I was, I was also completely drained: when I searched for the warmth of my energy, I could feel nothing more than mere wisps of power. I’d have to bide my time and wait until my power returned before I could get the hell out of there.

  “I promise to be your child and to never leave,” I said, sounding as mechanical as her server. “Can I get some rest now? I really need to sleep … Mom.”

  At the sound of that word, Pica’s eyes lit u
p again and a single tear traced down her cheek. “Of course, my daughter. Get some rest. I’ll watch over you.”

  If that wasn’t enough to give me nightmares…

  The blade disappeared, back to wherever it had come from, as she led me across to the bed. I was tucked in very tightly, and she leaned down to press her lips to my forehead. “I love you,” she said softly. There was a pause, but I couldn’t seem to choke out the words.

  Thankfully, Pica didn’t push it, instead turning and hurrying off as she hummed really loudly to herself. Huddling under the very warm blanket, I squeezed my eyes closed, trying to think of a plan. There wasn’t much I could do until my energy returned, but even when it did, I needed to think of something that wouldn’t bring the wrath of Pica across us all. She might be unhinged, but she was still powerful enough to cause a lot of damage. Especially if she decided to side with Staviti. As it stood, I wasn’t convinced that she hadn’t been siding with Staviti this whole time. Perhaps she changed her allegiance when she figured out that Staviti hadn’t been the one to kill Rau … I had been.

  And who the hell gave her a weapon? Seriously! Crowe really needed to be more responsible with his creations, instead of just handing them out to any god who showed an interest.

  My arms were trembling so I tucked them tightly under my body, trying to stop the movement. I was struggling for more than one reason, but mostly I was worried that the Abcurses were in trouble. I’d been whisked away to “safety,” leaving them behind to face whatever was coming. What if Staviti had followed his servers? What if my guys were all currently fighting for their lives and I wasn’t there to help? I was the only one with a power that could challenge Staviti. It was a small measure of relief to know that Cyrus was there; and he might be able to hold Staviti off long enough for everyone to escape.

  The worst part was that they had no idea where I was, and they would be so worried, which would distract them when they should be focussing on their own safety. We shouldn’t be separated in this way, not when there was so much danger around.