Pain (Curse of the Gods Book 5)

by Jaymin Eve

  It was throwing my balance off.

  I must have slept eventually, the exhaustion pulling me under. When I opened my eyes sometime later, there was no change in the room at all. Pica wasn’t around, but her server stood dutifully at my bedside. The moment I sat up, her head popped up like she’d been in some sort of standing rest. “Greetings, sacred child of the most sacred one. What can I fetch for you this sun-cycle?”

  My Abcurses. How about them?

  Instead I said, “I’d like some food and water please.” I rattled off a list of items I liked to eat, hoping that food would speed up the return of my energy. She disappeared in a moment and I longed to reach out and attach myself to her as she left, hoping that I’d end up anywhere but where I was.

  She’d only bring me back though. The servers had surprisingly strong energy for reanimated dwellers. Pulling myself from the bed, I made my way into the bathing chamber. It was a simple room with a toilet, bath, and a sink with a rack beside it filled with pink towels. The room itself was mostly white marble, so that splash of pink was very bright.

  After using the toilet, I stared at the bath. It would have been nice to get out of my leather outfit, but I had nothing else to change into, and I wouldn’t put it past Pica to try and bathe me herself or something similar that you would do with a child. Instead, I settled on washing my hands and face. There was a reflective surface above the sink and I stared for a click at my washed-out features.

  Since becoming a god, I’d noticed the subtle changes in my appearance: better skin, thicker hair, whiter teeth. A luminescence to my skin and eyes that hadn’t been there before; but this sun-cycle I looked haggard, frail even. Despite sleeping however long I had been sleeping, I still couldn’t sense any of my energy replenishing. If anything, I felt even more drained than I had the previous sun-cycle.

  When I returned to the main room of my prison, there was a new addition to the furniture: a table loaded down with food. I basically fell on it, reaching for cheesy bread and shoving it in my mouth in a single movement. Chewing as fast as I could, I barely even tasted the goodness, I was in that much of a rush to eat. I swallowed water between each mouthful of food until I’d eaten as much as I could manage. With a groan, I stood up, looking around again and wondering what to do next.

  “There are some books in that corner,” the server said, popping out from wherever she’d been hiding. I followed her pointed finger and let out a sigh. I wasn’t really one for reading, but since this was all a waiting game for me now, I would have to take what I could.

  “Is there any way for you to fetch me a particular book?” I asked the server suddenly. “I’d like to read more about the gods and their connection to Topia. About their … energy.”

  It had taken me several sun-cycles to rejuvenate myself after Emmy, but this time had been very different. I hadn’t lost consciousness, which meant that my energy should have returned much faster. I needed to know how fast.

  “The most sacred of the gods does not wish me to provide you with anything other than food and drink,” the server replied. “All other requests are to go through her.”

  “Can you tell me how long it takes a god to restore their energy after they drain it?” I decided I had nothing to lose by asking the question. “I’m feeling very run-down and I’d like to know when I’ll feel better.”

  The server shook her head. “Your power will not return in here. That is why the most sacred one does not linger too long. This room is powered by the being inside of it. You are keeping this room energised.”

  I stared, and then stared some more, before eventually my brain caught up. “I’m powering this jail?” I whisper-shouted. “I. Am. Powering. It?”

  I was never going to escape, no matter how hard I tried, because the room stole from my energy to keep me there. I’d always be drained, and the more I attempted to escape, the more drained I’d be.

  “No,” I cried, my voice breaking. “I can’t stay here like this. Like a prisoner. I need fresh air and the sky, I need to see the trees.”

  I was crying, the tears streaking down my cheeks in hot floods.

  “I would rather be dead than stay here like this,” I screamed before choking on my own sobs. I had officially snapped. All the hopes I’d been holding on to—the hopes of getting strong enough to escape—had been dashed. The loss of hope was like a sharp dagger in my chest.

  I needed to do something drastic.

  I faced the server. “I need to see Pica.”

  She stared blankly at me and I let out a sigh. “I need to see my mother.”

  This time, she reacted. There was a quick nod as she vanished. Of course Crazy-pants would tell her that I was only to refer to her as Mother. I remained where I was and as the time clicked by, I grew more and more impatient. Pica couldn’t possibly know what I was planning, so why was she taking so long to return? Eventually, I sat on a white, fur-lined couch—the only chair in the room. The heaviness of my exhaustion pressed in on me, and my head dropped forward more than once as my body urged me to sleep.

  I forced myself awake, worried I might miss Pica whenever she decided to make an appearance. I must have dozed off though, because I startled awake when I was lifted from the chair. Forcing my eyelids up, I found myself staring at sparkling eyes and shiny teeth.

  “Little one, you need to rest,” Pica crooned, her smile so warm and loving. She truly believed she loved me, I could see that in her face.

  I started to struggle against her hold, but she was too strong. “Let me down,” I demanded.

  Pica paused. “I’m carrying you to bed, it’s on my list of things to do with a daughter.”

  “Put me down,” I said again, ignoring the fact that she had a freaking list. “I’m not your daughter.”

  Her gasp was so long and loud that it actually scared me for a brief moment. I even jumped a little in her arms.

  “What did you just say?” she breathed, some of her warmth fading.

  “I’m not your daughter, Pica. I will never be your daughter.” I paused for dramatic effect before continuing. “Your daughter is dead.”

  The silence following my statement was a heavy one. I felt bad in that moment; the guilt at using her grief against her was almost enough to make me stop. But I didn’t, because I had to get out of there. She was holding me prisoner, this broken goddess, and there was only one way out.

  Ten

  Pica set me down and called out to her server, and in the next moment my arms were seized behind my back. I fought the urge to break free of the hold because there wasn’t anywhere for me to escape to, yet. I would only waste my energy, and the enchanted room was already draining whatever power I had left.

  “Wait,” I pleaded as the dagger appeared in her hand again and the look on her face grew several degrees more psychotic. “I got angry, Pica, I’m sorry. I lashed out. You can understand, can’t you? This room is sucking my energy, and how would I escape anyway? I can’t travel through pockets like everyone else. I have no way of disappearing.”

  “But you would, if you could,” she countered. “You love me, Willy. Deep down, I know you do … but it can’t get out, all that love. You’re too …” She waved the dagger, indicating nothing in particular. “You need me to unburden you of all these urges to run away, to make things simpler for you. My other daughter was taken away from me, and my Rau was taken away from me, but you … I can keep forever. All I need to do is pierce your lovely heart with this lovely dagger. It’s such a lovely dagger. You won’t even bleed—how special is that? Crowe made it just for you. It’s different to all his other creations. Isn’t that lovely?”

  I started to struggle against the server’s hold then. Crowe had been plotting against me with Pica?

  “How is it different?” I gritted out, surprised at the iron grip of the server. Were they all this damn strong?

  “You won’t even bleed,” she repeated, a beatific smile lighting her features. “It is as simple as falling asleep. The naug
hty, rebellious parts of you will disappear, but you—your body—will remain. Staviti has promised that this is the way. This is how we can be a family—finally, he is giving me the daughter I always wanted.”

  I tried to quickly wrap my head around what she was saying. The dagger only needed to be used on me and “activated,” probably, just like the chains. The chains that were still secured to Rau’s wrist …

  “Staviti has lied to you,” I told her, ceasing in my struggles against the server again. “There is another way you can have your family. I’ll make a deal with you, Pica. Will you listen to me?”

  “What is the deal?” she asked, laughter falling out of her for no apparent reason.

  “I’ll give you back Rau,” I told her.

  The laughter stopped immediately, and her eyes sharpened, some of the mania clearing as she focussed on me. “What did you say?”

  “I said I’ll give you back Rau,” I repeated. “But I need Abil’s sons to make this work.”

  “How…,” she demanded, her voice trembling. “How is that possible?”

  “Whatever Staviti has told you about me, it isn’t true. I am a Creator. That is my power. I know where Rau’s body is. I can bring him back to life. I can give him back to you.”

  She seemed to think about it for a moment, but then she shook her head, her hair fanning out to the side, her mouth turning down sharply.

  “No,” she decided. “I won’t give you up, Willy, not even for my Rau.”

  “I’m not asking you to give me up.” I paused, needing to work my temper back under control again, to keep my tone soft and comforting. “I will return here for you. All I’m asking is for the chance to say goodbye to Abil’s sons. You can decide whether to kill me or not later: that’s up to you. But before you lock me away in here forever, I want to say goodbye. That’s all I ask. That’s all I want in return.”

  “Very well. DJ, fetch Abil’s sons.”

  As soon as my arms were released, I stumbled forward. The sudden momentum surprised me—I hadn’t realised that I had still been struggling against the hold. Pica’s server had made it seem so effortless, but my arms now tingled with the sudden return of blood flow. No wonder everyone had thought the wraiths would bring about the end of the worlds. The servers were strong. Or maybe I was just really weak from being stuck in the energy-sucking room.

  Pica yanked me against her as I stumbled, and I thought she was going to pick me up again until she turned me around and the knife appeared at my throat. The woman was smarter than she looked.

  “Everyone stay still!” she shouted as soon as DJ returned, popping in and out of view five times until each of the Abcurses stood on the other side of the room.

  Yael, brought in first, had begun to stride toward me, but he froze, his arms flying out to keep the others at bay. They were very silent, their eyes trained on the dagger that rested against my neck.

  “Are you hurt at all?” Coen finally asked, his voice clipped. I could imagine that it wouldn’t be easy for them to hold themselves back from fighting in this particular scenario.

  “I’m fine,” I promised. “But the room is drawing from my energy in order to keep me here.

  Their eyes all flared—Coen and Rome switching their attention to Pica for a micro-click before focussing on me again. Yael seemed to be grinding his teeth, whereas Siret and Aros looked as though they were running a thousand different scenarios through their minds, trying to figure out which would be their best course of action. Luckily for them, I was taking point on this one.

  “I’ve made a deal with Pica,” I told them, keeping my voice calm and even. “We’re going to take her to Rau’s body so that I can return him to her—”

  “Bring back … Rau,” Rome repeated, the words ringing with both anger and disbelief. “And what are you getting in return?” he prompted, and I realised that the anger in his voice was so much more. He was furious. Again, his eyes flicked to Pica, and I could almost feel how badly he wanted to do her harm.

  “In return, she is allowing me to say goodbye to you all,” I answered.

  They all tensed, their fists clenching. I could hear breath hissing out from between teeth, and a rough bout of swearing escaping from Rome.

  Are Crowe’s chains still with Rau’s body? I projected the thought as I felt Pica grow restless behind me. She wasn’t a woman known for patience, and she wasn’t very good at standing still without doing something insane.

  “Yes.” Coen spoke immediately, his eyes fixed steadfastly on Pica now. He was answering my question without alerting Pica to the fact. “It would seem that she is allowing you to say goodbye. But you need us to get to Rau’s body, so it isn’t goodbye just yet.”

  I need to get to those chains.

  “None of you are permitted to touch my daughter,” Pica announced. “If any of you try, I will have no hesitation in driving this knife through her. It is a special knife, made just for her.”

  “We will need to travel through a pocket to get to the vault,” Aros argued, stepping forward slowly. “I will need to touch you both to transport you.”

  “No,” Pica argued. “You will transport me alone. Once we are there, my server will bring Willy to me.”

  “As you wish,” Aros replied. He held out his hand, then, the movement gracious despite the way his jaw was clenched and his eyes narrowed.

  “The four of you may go first.” Pica spoke to the others.

  It’s okay. I sent out my thoughts. I have a plan. Trust me.

  They disappeared with one last glance at me, until only Aros remained, his hand still extended.

  “How obedient you all are suddenly.” Pica laughed, releasing me and reaching for Aros’s hand.

  For just a moment, I could tell that Aros considered killing her right then and there, but I quickly shook my head and his grimace deepened. Pica and her server were my only way out of the room. I needed them both. Aros and Pica disappeared, leaving only me and DJ—who was standing peacefully in the corner, her hands folded before her. I briefly thought about Brianna, the server I had turned into a god earlier, and then I was thinking about Emmy and Cyrus, wondering who had escaped safely and who hadn’t.

  “Where did you find Abil’s sons?” I asked her. “Were they somewhere safe?”

  “The Sacred Sons of the Blessed Abil were safe,” she replied. “There were many people there.”

  “Where was there?” I pressed.

  She hesitated before glancing back down. “I am not permitted to freely answer all of your questions, Sacred One. It is the role of your mother to receive your questions and to be there to guide you with her wise answers.”

  I fought back a groan, but was saved a response when she suddenly began to move toward me, her hand extended. I didn’t even bother asking anything, I just let her take hold of me and embraced the darkness that closed in around me.

  I didn’t so easily embrace the feeling of being yanked into a too-tight hold as the cool metal of the dagger reappeared at my neck.

  “Remember”—Pica’s voice was in my ear, though she seemed to be talking to the others—“if anyone comes near her, she’s gone. No touching her.”

  You still can’t kill her, I cautioned, seeing the looks on their faces. There’s something I need from her first.

  I could tell from the dimly lit stone hallway that we were back in Sienna’s vault, and Pica walked me after the silent Abcurses as they turned their backs and strode toward a large vault door. Aros opened it with a key that someone had either retrieved before Pica was brought there, or else he had been carrying on his person. Both options were plausible, knowing the Abcurses. They entered the vault first and a dim light filled the room. It wasn’t like the light from the rest of the vault, so I assumed that Siret had created it. Pica walked me into the room slowly, but her tight grip on me faltered as soon as she saw Rau.

  He was on the floor, spread-eagled, one end of Crowe’s chains still attached to one of his wrists. His eyes were closed, his ch
eeks ashen. There was no movement in his chest—no signs of breathing or life. He appeared dead, and technically … he was dead. Whatever remained of him was only a tiny sliver of a soul, and it had been ripped apart from the rest of him.

  “I will need to concentrate, Pica,” I muttered, as her body behind me began to shiver.

  I wasn’t sure if she was experiencing grief, excitement, or yet another psychotic episode, but I also didn’t care. I just needed her to take the damn knife away from my throat. Instead, she tightened her grip on me again and walked us both to Rau, forcing the Abcurses to step away. She knelt down beside him, dragging me with her.

  “Bring him back, Willy.” Her voice trembled, her eyes full of hope as she reached out to lay a hand on his cheek. “Bring him home to us, so that we can finally be a family.”

  “I just need to get the chains off him,” I told her, reaching for the cuff around his wrist. “And then I can start the process.”

  She eased the knife away, allowing me the freedom to bend over the chains, though she still didn’t allow any real space between our bodies. I was fine with that, because it suited my plan … but I would need to act quickly.

  I am going to drag her back to the imprisonment realm, I announced in my mind, glancing up in time to see several of them step forward from the wall that they had been standing against. I shook my head again to warn them from overreacting, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to fend them off for long. They didn’t want to chance almost losing me again like the last time I had dragged someone to the imprisonment realm, but I was confident in my plan. With the chains and the dagger, not only would I be able to imprison Pica, but I would be able to take the weight of one whole soul back with me.

  I would be able to bring Jakan back.

  I need you to trust me, I urged them. I love each of you. I will be back.

  With those parting words, I snapped the cuff that I had just loosened over Pica’s wrist and then the other over my own, snatching the dagger out of her shocked grip with my other hand.