Existence

by Abbi Glines

  “I don’t believe we’ve met. I’m Dank Walker.” His familiar, smooth drawl sure didn’t sound like I was dreaming.

  I turned around to look at him. If I’d taken pain pills this morning I would be convinced I was tripping. There was no excuse for this hallucination. “I don’t understand,” I said simply.

  An apologetic smile tugged at his full lips. Were his lips fuller now that he was flesh and blood?

  “I know, and I’m sorry.”

  Was it too much to ask for him to elaborate? If this was real then it would be awfully nice if he could explain to me how all of a sudden he could be seen by the rest of the living world. Better yet, why did they all believe him to be a rock star? He didn’t say anything else but his eyes never left mine. Someone walked by and asked him for an autograph and he shook his head without taking his eyes off me. Everyone in the room seemed to be watching us. Talking to him here wouldn’t get me any answers. I tore my eyes from his warm gaze and turned back around in my seat. If I didn’t wake up soon then I’d worry about a better explanation than ‘I’m sorry’.

  “Settle down, settle down.” Mr. Brown’s voice carried over the excited whispering and occasional giggles. “It’s very exciting, I realize, to have a,” Mr. Brown waved a hand in Dank’s direction, “young man among us, whose talents many of you enjoy. However, this is a time to learn the beauty that English Literature holds for us. We can moon and swoon over Mr. Walker during our lunchtime.

  “Now, today we’re going to move on from our study of Shakespeare. We have briefly touched upon him this year because this was not your first exposure to Shakespeare and I feel it is important to focus on some other famous playwrights. The ancient Greek playwright, Aeschylus, was just as influential in his works. In fact, various ancient sources attribute between seventy and ninety plays to him. I believe on Friday I asked you all to read the chapter in your book concerning Aeschylus, and since it was the weekend I know this was a huge request. However, can anyone in here tell me something you learned from your reading?” Mr. Brown clasped his hands together across his chest to rest just above his round stomach. The room remained quiet. I’d spent my weekend trying to catch up on all my missed schoolwork and reading about Aeschylus hadn’t been very important. Besides, focusing right now would be difficult.

  “Only six of his tragedies have survived intact: The Persians, Seven against Thebes, The Suppliants, and the trilogy known as The Oresteia, consisting of the three tragedies Agamemnon, The Libation Bearers and The Eumenides.” Dank’s smooth voice carried over the room and Mr. Brown stared back at him surprised.

  “Seven, Mr. Walker. You forgot Prometheus Bound.”

  “Prometheus Bound’s authorship is disputed. It’s widely thought to be the work of a later author.” Dank’s voice held a tone of boredom.

  Mr. Brown straightened his short, wide frame and stared down at Dank with a slow smile coming over his face. “Why, yes it is, but that information was not within your textbook.” He looked at the rest of the class grinning like someone had brought him a dozen doughnuts. “It appears that our musical friend is well educated.”

  I heard a quiet chuckle from behind me and I glanced over my shoulder to see Dank’s eyes on me. Did he read minds? Did he have super powers? I turned away from him and closed my eyes, trying to get the questions lodging themselves in my head about Dank Walker pushed aside long enough to pay attention in class.

  “Very good, very good indeed. Now, as stated on your syllabus for the year, you’re all to have purchased copies of The Oresteia: Agamemnon; The Libation Bearers; The Eumenides. We are going to begin our study on Aeschylus by reading his work, Agamemnon. Who brought their book to class as requested on Friday?” I stared down at my textbook and notebook. Leif hadn’t known to get the paperback from my locker. “Ah, and our new student surprises me yet again.” I glanced up to see Mr. Brown nodding toward Dank’s desk. “That is the book on your desk is it not Mr. Walker?”

  “Yes sir,” Dank answered and I involuntarily shivered. I thought I heard another soft chuckle come from behind me.

  “Well, then would you please begin reading for me? Since it appears that the rest of the students in this room, who were in fact here on Friday, seem to be suffering from memory loss.”

  Dank cleared his throat and began reading. “Dear gods, set me free from all the pain, the long watch I keep, one whole year awake...propped on my arms, crouched on the roofs of Atreus like a dog. I know the stars by heart, the armies of the night, and there in the lead the ones that bring us snow or the crops of summer, bring us all we have -our great kings of the sky, I know them, when they rise and when they fall...and now I watch for the light, the signal-fire breaking out of Troy, shouting Troy is taken. So, she commands, full of her high hopes.”

  The class went by so quickly with Dank’s hypnotic voice commanding the room. The ring of the bell caused me to jump. I shook my head trying to get out of the trance his reading had put me in. I stood up and reached for my books, knowing Leif would be at the door waiting for me, ready to take my books to my next class. It took supreme effort not to glance back at Dank.

  The sound of giggling girls and fawning fans allowed me to reach Leif without breaking down and turning to sneak a glance at Dank.

  “Fun class?” Leif raised his eyebrows and nodded his head toward where I knew Dank stood surrounded by female admirers.

  I shrugged. “Not really. Tragic Greek plays, you know, the usual.” Leif shot me one of his easy grins before reaching for my books.

  “Glad I made my move before Dank Walker showed up,” Leif said in a joking voice that sounded forced.

  I didn’t look up at him. “What do you mean?” Did he notice the pink flush on my cheeks when he said Dank’s name? God I hoped not.

  “The dude can’t seem to take his eyes off you. Not that I can blame him.” Leif slipped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close as if he needed to hold onto me. Instant guilt swamped me. The way I shivered and melted when near Dank wasn’t fair to Leif. A strange pull inside me to turn around caused me to grab Leif’s arm for support. Maybe this was a dream after all. It was almost as if some iron-like hold was trying to force me to stop and turn back.

  “Are you okay?” Leif’s voice was edged with concern. I knew he was thinking I’d lost my mind. Nothing about the way I was acting was sane.

  I smiled up at him reassuringly. “I’m good.” Unable to fight the invisible tug, I glanced back and my eyes immediately found Dank surrounded by girls, but his eyes were on me. Even from this distance I could feel the warmth of his intense gaze.

  “He seems to be a hot item,” Leif mumbled as his gaze followed mine. I jerked my head back around, furious with myself for giving in and searching him out. The concern in Leif’s voice said it all. I needed to get a grip.

  “I don’t really do the whole rocker thing. I honestly haven’t even got a clue what he sings or what band he’s in.”

  Leif kissed the top of my head. “I wish the rock star had heard that.” He seemed to relax beside me.

  “That’s not true, Pagan. You enjoy your own little private concert each night while you sleep.”

  I froze gripping Leif’s arm tighter. What the heck was that? Had Dank just talked in my head? God this had to be a dream! It was getting crazier by the minute. I let go of Leif’s arm and pinched myself as hard as I possibly could.

  “What are you doing?” Leif asked with a look of confusion on his face. My face grew warm. Within seconds I would be bright red. I wasn’t sure if it was from the fact Dank had just somehow spoken in my ear yet he was an entire hallway length away from me or the fact I was pinching myself in the hallway like a nut case.

  “Relax, Pagan, no one hears me but you. Wipe the lovely blush from your face. Your friend, who seems to think you belong to him, is going to think you’re crazy.”

  I turned around, this time needing to see where he was. It was Dank’s voice I heard. Just as clearly as if he were standing rig
ht beside me leaning toward my ear. Dank wasn’t right beside me. He was where I had remembered: standing on the opposite end of the hallway, listening to a red-headed freshman girl who seemed to be on cloud nine to have the rock star’s attention. His eyes left hers and found mine. He winked and gave me his wicked smile before staring back down at the girl at his side. I swallowed the fear running through me and turned away from him. Had he actually just spoken to me from across the hallway and no one heard him?

  “Are you okay, Pagan?” Leif’s voice broke into my moment of panic and I managed to force a smile and nod.

  “Yes, I just thought I forgot something, but I didn’t.”

  Leif chuckled. “The medication still messing with you?” he asked in a voice that helped bring me back to normalcy. He was normal. He was real.

  “Um, yes, I think it is.” If only I’d taken pain medicine this morning, like I kept claiming, then I could blame all this on chemicals. But I knew the truth. I hadn’t taken anything. I was going crazy all on my own.

  * * * *

  “I talked to Leif during Speech and I suggested the four of us go see a movie tonight to celebrate your return to school,” Miranda said from across the cafeteria table. I’d been so lost in my thoughts I hadn’t realized she’d sat down across from me.

  I glanced up. “That sounds like a great idea.”

  Miranda frowned, tilted her head, and leaned closer to me. “Are you okay?”

  I forced a smile and nodded. Convincing my best friend I wasn’t internally freaking out was going to be difficult. As expected, she raised her eyebrows and gave me the ‘I don’t believe you’ eye as she sat back. Luckily, Wyatt chose that moment to join us so she wouldn’t get a chance to probe me further.

  “Tonight after Leif gets done with football practice, we’re all going to the movies to celebrate Pagan’s recovery.”

  Wyatt glanced over at me with a concerned face. “You up for that?”

  I nodded. “Sure, I feel much better. I need to get away and do something normal.”

  Miranda’s smile returned. “Then it’s settled. Now, all that is left is to decide what movie we’re going to see.” Miranda’s eyes stared at something over my head. “Ugh, figures.” She said in a tone of disgust.

  I glanced back to see what she found so irritating. Kendra walked in with her arm tucked inside Dank’s elbow, smiling coyly up at him while he talked to her. He obviously enjoyed her attention. He wouldn’t be the first male to fall victim to her attentions. Kendra made a complete package of perfect, if you left out her personality. I turned my head back around, hoping I could cover up the churning emotions in my stomach. The sight of her on his arm made me a little sick.

  “It would be Kendra that got the rock star,” Miranda said in a disgusted tone before taking a bite of her salad.

  “I hope I’m not hearing jealousy in your voice. Considering that would be a blow to my ego,” Wyatt said teasingly and Miranda glared up at him.

  “Of course not. I just wish Dank Walker hadn’t decided to give his attention to that skanky bitch. There are plenty of other beautiful girls in this school who would be much better choices.”

  Wyatt chuckled. “Like who?”

  Miranda shrugged. “I don’t know. Just someone who isn’t Kendra.” Wyatt laughed out loud and shook his head.

  “What did I miss?” Leif asked as he sat down beside me.

  “Nothing,” I responded a little too quickly.

  Wyatt nodded toward where Dank and Kendra sat at a table alone. “It appears Miranda thinks anyone would have been a better choice for the rock star than Kendra.”

  Leif nodded. “She’s probably right. But as long as he has stopped ogling my girl, I don’t care who he gives his attention to.”

  Miranda raised her eyebrows at me in surprise. “Really, he’s been ogling you?”

  I rolled my eyes. “No.” My quick response didn’t even sound believable to my own ears.

  “Yes, he has,” Leif said, reaching for my hand under the table. He gave me a gentle squeeze as if to reassure me. I sighed and relaxed. No point arguing with him. I knew Dank watched me more often than anyone else. I hadn’t realized how possessive I felt toward him until I’d seen Kendra getting his attention. He could go sing Kendra to sleep with his guitar and hauntingly beautiful music. I heard a low chuckle and turned to look at both Leif and Wyatt whose mouths were full of food. I froze and glanced back at the table where Dank sat in a private conversation with Kendra. His eyes left hers and gave me an amused glance before turning back to the perfect blond beside him.

  Chapter Six

  “I do believe this is your first football game,” my mother said, grinning from the kitchen sink where she stood draining bow tie noodles.

  I shrugged. “I guess.”

  She glanced up at me. “And you’re going out with the quarterback when it’s over?” I started to answer her when a soul walked into the kitchen through the closed patio doors. I stiffened. It’d been a long time since a soul had wandered through our house. The soul appeared young. Her hair hung down her back in long, curly blond locks. It seemed to float around her waist. I started to do the standard and act like I didn’t see her, but she stopped directly in front of me and began studying me. Her eyes seemed translucent and her eyelashes were incredibly long but so blond they were almost undetectable. Her head tilted to one side as she walked closer to me, watching me as if I were some sort of science experiment that befuddled her.

  “Honey?” My mom’s voice woke me up out of the trance. I jerked my gaze away from the soul, which proved hard because she stood so close to me that I could reach out and touch her.

  “Um, yes, sorry.” Mom no longer seemed amused.

  She frowned at me with the colander of noodles held forgotten in her hands. “Are you okay, Pagan? Maybe you should stay home and rest. A whole week of school had to have been difficult after what you’ve been through.” I forced myself not to shiver when a cold hand touched my hair.

  “It’s pretty.” The musical sound of the soul’s voice startled me. I jerked back from her.

  “Pagan?” I took a deep, calming breath and forced a smile I hoped was normal.

  “I’m fine, just a little nervous. I need to finish getting ready before Miranda and Wyatt get here.”

  Mom nodded and her smile returned. “Alright, then. I guess nerves are understandable when one is going on a date with such a hottie.” She winked and I held my fake smile before turning and fleeing the room. I closed my bedroom door and turned to watch and see if the soul followed me.

  “Are you looking for me?” The musical voice came from behind me. I swung around in surprise and let out a startled yelp.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, confused. Why had souls proceeded to start talking to me? She giggled and it sounded similar to a chime of bells.

  “It is appointed,” she said simply and walked closer to me. I held out both hands as if it would hold her off.

  “Don’t come any closer,” I said, realizing for the first time in my life I was completely terrified of a soul.

  She frowned. “You’re not very friendly.”

  I let out a short laugh, “What? I’m not friendly to a ghost who floats into my house and starts touching me? Well, excuse my rudeness but this is a little disturbing.”

  Her frown seemed to take on an understanding expression. “Ah, yes. Well, I guess I just assumed you were used to us.”

  So she knew I could see souls. “Who are you?” I asked again, wishing my voice at least sounded steady instead of unmistakably trembling. She didn’t answer, but went back to studying me silently. “I need to get ready to go before my friends get here. If you have no purpose for being here then could you just go find another house to wander through?”

  Her tinkling laughter filled my room again. “I do not wander through the homes of people,” she said as if I’d just said the silliest thing she’d ever heard. “It is appointed,” she said again, smiling brightly.
/>   I started to ask her what she was referring to when, once again, I stood alone in my room. I turned around in a circle, expecting to see her drifting around but she was gone. Needing to hear the normalcy of my mother’s off-key singing while she cooked dinner, I went and opened the door to my bedroom. I needed to see Dank. I wanted answers. Before Dank, souls didn’t talk to me. I had liked it that way. I would like to keep it that way. I did not like the idea of souls walking up to me and touching me and talking to me. I could deal with their presence but I preferred to ignore them and in return get treated like everyone else. I made one more quick sweep of my room and closed my door quietly. Putting some distance between me and the door, I walked to the other side of the room. The last thing I needed was for my mom to hear what I was about to do.

  “Dank,” I said aloud. He had talked to me from across a crowded hallway. I figured he could hear me anywhere. But then I wasn’t the expert on soul beckoning. I’d never felt the need to beckon one before. I waited but nothing happened. I turned around to check behind me. “Dank?” I said again, feeling stupid. The room remained empty. With a defeated sigh I went back to my bedroom door and opened it again. I needed to stop playing with the supernatural and get ready.

  * * * *

  “GOOO PIRATES!” Miranda cheered loudly from her seat beside me. We were up by two touchdowns and the crowd began cheering wildly. Only four minutes left in the game and I hadn’t seen Dank anywhere. Apparently, Kendra hadn’t seen him either because I’d watched her on the football field cheering. She kept scanning the crowd for him. Her reasons for wanting to see him were completely different from mine of course. Not to mention the fact that hers were not nearly as important. With every scowl on her face, I knew she didn’t see the elusive Dank Walker. I needed to find him before the game ended. Going out with Leif afterward to celebrate the victory would be hindered by the unanswered questions in my head.