Existence
Page 7
“Would you stop scanning the crowd for the rock star and watch your boyfriend,” Miranda hissed in my ear. I should have known she would figure me out.
I frowned. “I’m not looking for the rock star. Football just bores me.”
Miranda laughed and rolled her eyes. “You would date the mouthwatering quarterback and then admit you’re bored by football.”
I shrugged and then turned my attention back to the action on the field. The moment my eyes landed on Kendra, I saw her face light up as she zoned in on someone toward the bottom of the stands. I couldn’t see him from where I sat but I knew he’d arrived. That would be the only reason Kendra would have exchanged her annoyed expression for one of utter delight. I glanced over at Miranda and Wyatt who both were watching the game. Kendra’s expression wasn’t something they were paying attention to.
I reached for my purse. “I’m going to go get a drink, do you want one?” I asked hoping they said no. I didn’t want to be rushed. I needed to get Dank alone and get some answers.
Miranda stared up at me as I stood and shook her head. “No, the game is almost over and we’re going to the Grill to celebrate. We can get drinks there.”
I slipped my purse on my shoulder. “I’m thirsty now. I’ll meet you on the field when this is over.” Miranda peeked around me and out into the crowd. I didn’t have to ask to know she was searching for Dank. Luckily he hadn’t walked into view.
Miranda glanced back at me and shrugged. “Okay.” I turned and walked away quickly before she spotted Dank or decided she wanted something from the concession stand.
Dank stood with his arms crossed, as if he were bored, watching the game on the field. His eyes found mine the moment I came around the corner. A small smile touched his lips. I didn’t have time to deal with his smart comments about my coming to find him.
“I need to talk to you alone, now,” I said in a whisper as I walked past him and into the dark parking lot. I didn’t turn around to see if he was following me. I could feel his presence. Once I knew we were out of sight of everyone else, I turned around and faced him. “Who is she?” I demanded.
Dank frowned. “Be more specific, please.”
I sighed and closed my eyes against the distraction his eyes always presented. Seeing him in the moonlight made it hard for me to concentrate. “The soul who came into my house and touched me and talked to me. She said ‘it is appointed’ to me twice.”
Dank visibly tensed and stepped closer to me. “What?” he asked with a look of surprise on his face.
“A soul came into my house. She touched me and talked to me. Souls never talked to me, before you. She even came into my bedroom,” I said in a whisper, afraid someone might overhear me.
“She said ‘it is appointed’?” he asked with a tight edge to his voice. I could tell he was trying to control his temper, I just didn’t know why he was angry. I nodded, watching him closely.
He stalked farther into the darkness and then turned his angry glare up to the sky. “Don’t fuck with me,” he said loudly in a cold, hard voice. I backed away, not sure what he was yelling at. He stood with his back to me taking deep breaths and I waited, wishing I hadn’t brought him out here into the darkness alone.
He turned slowly around. Even in the darkness I could clearly see his blue eyes. They reminded me of bright sapphires reflecting rays of the sun. “I’m going to be watching.” His voice sounded much deeper than before. I took a step backwards, terrified by the startling glow in his eyes and the growl I could hear coming from deep within his chest.
“If she comes near you or any other...soul, comes near you and talks to you again, then you warn them that you’re going to tell me. Do you understand?” I was scared. Not of Dank but of...something.
“Who is she?” I asked again.
A tortured look came over his face before he turned away from me. “Someone who has come to right a wrong.”
I stepped closer to him, needing to know more, but he shook his head in protest and then he was gone. I stood alone in the dark parking lot. In light of current events I didn’t like being out here alone. Even if I knew Dank was close enough that he would come if I called him. Cheers erupted from the field, signaling that the game had ended. My questions were still unanswered. Frustrated with Dank and his determination to be evasive even though he seemed to be the cause of my screwed up life at the moment, I walked quickly back to the brightly-lit stadium. The field was full of celebrating pirates as I walked into the throngs of students and parents. I began searching for Miranda and Wyatt. A familiar chuckle caught my attention and I turned to see Kendra with her hands on Dank’s chest as he stared down at her with a smile on his face. I froze.
He seemed carefree and pleased by the attention of the blond cheerleader, when moments ago he’d been cursing at the sky and telling me to threaten any more talking souls I came in contact with. The urge to walk over to Kendra and jerk her by the hair until she was a good ten feet away from Dank was hard to resist. His eyes lifted from Kendra’s and found me. He nodded as if to say hello before gazing back down at the girl in his arms. I swallowed the feeling of betrayal and tore my eyes off the two of them. Dank didn’t belong to me so he wasn’t actually betraying me. That reminder didn’t make me feel better. At times it seemed as if Dank Walker and the soul were two completely different beings. The soul I trusted. Dank Walker confused me.
“Pagan!” Miranda’s voice cut through the celebrating voices. I turned around, not sure I could face her right now. I glanced back at the parking lot, thinking of a way I could escape. But home didn’t seem safe anymore. The beautiful blond soul scared me. “Pagan?” Miranda called again and I turned my attention back to the crowd, knowing I should go to her. Leif would be expecting me. However, the me he would be getting wasn’t the one he deserved. I wasn’t cheering about the victory. Instead, I was terrified of the unknown.
“Go to them. I’m here. You’re safe.” Dank’s voice came through loud and clear over the excited voices of the crowd. Just as before, no one else seemed to hear him. I searched the faces around me for his familiar one.
“Jeez, Pagan, are you deaf! Where’ve you been? Come on.” Miranda grabbed my arm and began pulling me back through the victorious crowd. I let her pull me and forced myself to smile. Leif would expect me to. Miranda and Wyatt would expect me to. I was going to end up being diagnosed as mental if I didn’t get a grip on myself.
“There he is!” Miranda yelled back at me as she pulled me toward Leif. He’d just emerged from the field house, freshly changed into a pair of faded jeans and a clean jersey. I took a deep breath and put a smile on my face. He glanced our way and I waved at him. A huge grin broke out on his face and he ran toward me. Before I knew it he was pulling me up against his chest. I didn’t have time to prepare myself for his lips covering mine. His arms around me were gentle because of my still healing ribs. He reminded me of warmth and safety. I ran my hands up his chest, hoping to hold onto him a little while longer and pretend I really was safe. His hands slipped into my hair and tilted my head back as he took the kiss deeper. I drank him in. I needed this sense of normalcy. This false sense of security. Leif was real and represented all things secure. I needed that connection to the world. I needed what he offered right now. However, dancing dangerously in the back of my mind, were thoughts of another mouth, which seemed to stir things much wilder inside of me. A craving that represented all the things I feared. I closed my eyes tighter, trying to fight off the desire to have Dank’s arms pulling me close, his perfectly sculpted lips against mine. This was safe. Leif was healthy for me.
He broke the kiss and pulled back only a little and his breathing, I realized, was ragged, unlike mine. He appeared dazed. “That was even better than I’d imagined,” he said breathlessly. The familiar twinge of guilt I’d been dealing with since Dank had gotten under my skin reminded me this was the right choice.
“Okay, you two either need to get a freakin’ room or come up for air so we can
go get some food. I’m starving.” Wyatt’s teasing voice broke into the little world we’d been lost in among the throngs of people.
Leif winked at me and slipped his arm around my shoulder. “Let’s eat,” he said, grinning like a little boy who’d just been given candy. I’d clung to him because of what he represented in my life not because I desired him, but I pushed it out of my mind. Thinking about it just made the guilt worse.
* * * *
“After tonight’s game I don’t see how the scouts can keep away,” Wyatt said, grinning across the booth from Leif and me.
Leif chuckled. “One game won’t bring down the college scouts, you know that.”
Wyatt lifted a French fry to his mouth. “A couple more like that one and they will descend,” he said, sure of himself. Leif’s thumb rubbed my hand. He’d started holding my hand whenever we were together. It was sweet.
“Oh, gag, did they have to come here? I mean, really, why doesn’t he just take octopus-girl to a hotel and let us eat in peace?” Miranda said in an annoyed voice as she flashed a knowing look my way. I glanced over to see Dank walk in the door with a very clingy Kendra at his side. I reached for my soda and decided to study the business cards placed under the Plexiglas on top of the table.
“I think the only way she can get any closer to him is if she wraps her legs around him and he is forced to carry her.” Miranda said in a disgusted tone.
Wyatt chuckled. “Alright, Miranda, leave the poor girl alone. It looks like the rock star has his hands full with keeping her from mauling him. He doesn’t need you making snide comments.” Miranda giggled and leaned over and laid her head on Wyatt’s shoulder.
“Mauling? I like that one. Wish I’d thought of it.” Wyatt shook his head as he crammed another fry into his grinning mouth.
Leif sighed. “She has issues that make her act like she does.” I stared up at him and realized he seemed concerned rather than amused.
Miranda rolled her eyes. “You would know. You dated her for like three years.”
Leif gazed down at me. “Yes, I did, but only because the one girl I wanted seemed to dislike me so completely.”
I smiled and squeezed his hand. “I was stupid.” It was true. Getting to know Leif had taught me that judging others wasn’t only wrong but it caused you to miss out on friendships with special people.
His eyes got serious and he leaned down and stopped right before his lips touched mine. “You’re brilliant. Maybe a little slow on the uptake, but brilliant nonetheless.” His lips touched mine gently. Again, I felt safe. A deep growl startled me and I pulled back, staring up at Leif to see if he’d been growling. The confused frown on his face told me it hadn’t been him. His thumb brushed across my bottom lip and the growling started up again. It definitely wasn’t Leif making the animal noises. “You okay?” he asked softly.
“Sorry, I thought you said something.” I explained, forcing a smile. He grinned and dropped his hand from my face. The growling subsided and I glanced around the room. Dank sat in a corner booth beside Kendra, who appeared to be talking excitedly to another cheerleader beside them. His dark eyes watched me with a possessive gleam. It’d been him. He’d growled. How was he doing that? I could feel Miranda watching me and I didn’t want her asking me any more questions. I turned back to my food and forced a French fry into my mouth. Leif and Wyatt had resumed talking about the game, so I had time to get my focus back on my friends and off Dank. Leif leaned back against the booth and released my hand, slipping his behind my shoulders and then gently pulled me against him.
Miranda smiled. “So, when are we going to go pick out our dresses for the Homecoming Dance?” she asked me. I frowned at her. Leif and I hadn’t talked about the Homecoming Dance. We were dating exclusively but he hadn’t said anything about taking me to the dance. I’d already decided to stay home and watch old movies and eat popcorn that night. Miranda flicked her eyes from me to Leif a few times as if assessing the situation.
“You’ve asked her right?” she asked with an annoyed tone. Leif turned his head and gazed down at me.
“I just assumed that it was understood. Was I supposed to ask?” The concerned frown on his face was adorable. I smiled up at him, hoping to reassure him. I didn’t like to upset him. He seemed so emotionally tender.
“Leif, you’re always supposed to ask a girl to a dance. Assuming is a bad thing.” Miranda’s corrective tone made me laugh. Leif’s frown eased and he slid his finger under my chin and gently caressed my jaw line with the pad of his thumb.
“Pagan, will you do me the honor of being my date for the Homecoming Dance? The prospect of not being able to hold you in my arms all night is heartbreaking.”
Miranda sighed from across the table. “Okay, that was beautiful. Why didn’t you ask me like that?” She asked Wyatt.
Wyatt shot Leif an annoyed frown. “Thanks, buddy. Next time you decide to break out your romantic side, could you do it alone?”
I laughed and Leif continued gazing down at me. I nodded and he leaned down to kiss me. I mentally prepared myself for the growl and the moment I heard it, low and angry in my ears, I smiled.
Chapter Seven
The moment I tried to open the front door and found it locked, I knew I was in trouble. The note on the bar from my mother telling me she and Roger had gone out to a late movie sent a shiver of fear through me. I didn’t want to be home alone. I hadn’t asked Miranda to come stay the night with me because I’d planned on sleeping in bed with my mom tonight. I walked into my bedroom and scanned every inch of it for long blond hair. No sign of the freaky soul. I glanced back at the bathroom and thought of the shower I really wanted. Going in there and turning on the shower and closing the curtain scared me. I kept getting visions of horror movies I’d seen, where bad things happened when someone took a shower. I’d never be able to take a shower without Mom home. Maybe not even then. Oh crap! I was going to become the incredible stinking girl! If I tried to convince my mom to come into the bathroom with me so I could shower she’d think I’d lost it. I plopped down on my bed and let out a defeated sigh.
“What’s wrong?” a voice asked from my doorway. I shot straight up screaming. However, it died almost immediately when I saw Dank leaning against the door frame watching me.
“Dank.” I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were so wound up about this,” he said, frowning and walking into the room. I sat back down on my bed and let out a shallow laugh.
“Well excuse me if strange souls showing up in my house, talking to me and touching me freak me out a little.” I shot him an accusatory look. “Then, I ask you about it and you curse into the darkness and get all angry.”
He walked over and sat down at the end of my bed. “I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have scared you that way.” There was no mistaking the concerned tone of his voice.
“Well, can you tell me what is happening, who she is?” I asked. He shook his head and immediately turned his gaze away from me.
“No, that’s the only thing I can’t do for you. Ask me anything else in the world, Pagan, and I’ll make sure it’s yours but that I cannot do.” his voice sounded intense and pained at the same time. It disappointed me but I knew pushing the subject was pointless.
“Why are you here, then?” I asked remembering how less than an hour ago I’d left him in a corner booth with Kendra curled up against his side. He stood up and walked over to the window and stared outside.
“Until I know everything is fine…until I take care of what must be done, I’ll be spending the nights here in your room.” He turned back to me with a determined expression. “I have to protect you.” He motioned toward the door. “If you want to take that shower, I’ll make sure you’re completely safe while you do so.”
Heck yes, I wanted that shower. I started to get up and then sat back down, glaring at him. “Can you read my mind?” This wasn’t the first time he’d known what I was thinking.
I stared back at him. “You heard me in the cafeteria when you were with Kendra, I wasn’t scared then.”
He raised his eyebrows slightly. “You weren’t?” My face grew warm and I turned and left the room before he could see me blush.
I started to close the bathroom door when I turned and looked at the walls knowing a soul could come in at any time. I stared back down the hall where Dank lay lounging on my bed. He couldn’t see the soul if she came into the bathroom. His head turned immediately toward me. A slow wicked smile formed on his mouth.
“I would love to accompany you into the bathroom while you shower and if I were truly as wicked as you think I am, I would do just that. However, I can feel any soul intent on entering this house before they even come inside. I would be there before any other entered. You’re safe with me right here,” he finished with a wink. I closed the door quickly before he said anything else to embarrass me.
* * * *
I slipped on a pair of cut-off sweat pants and a tank top instead of my usual night gown. If I was going to have company while I slept, I needed to wear clothes. My heart raced at the thought of Dank being in my bedroom, on my bed and I took several deep breaths to calm my thoughts and emotions.
“Pagan, honey, are you in the bathroom?” Mom called from the hallway. I opened the door and glanced past her to the bed where Dank still lay lounging.
“She can’t see or hear me. Calm down.”
I looked back to my mother, who stood, smiling in the doorway. “Did you have a good time with Leif?”
“Yes, we won the game and went out with Miranda and Wyatt afterwards to the Grill. It was nice.” I said thinking of his kissing me and once again my mind went back to the incredibly sexy nonhuman male in my room, who I couldn’t seem to keep out of my head.