The God Wheel

by Brian Clopper

  “I don’t think we do. At least from what I’ve heard, the prophecy says she gets out and has to be stopped. Did you get that much from your pantheon?”

  She nodded.

  “Shame the prophecy was destroyed.”

  “The original was but there’s a copy kept in the Ministry of Prescience. Skireen let that slip, but she also told me that going there was forbidden. No mortals allowed.”

  Kni said, “That’s right. And we won’t take you there either.”

  Lorna gave me a knowing glance. “Marty looks like he might need to go out.”

  The retriever hopped to his feet and raced over to the front door.

  Sensing that Lorna wanted to tell me something away from our tagalongs, I snatched up his leash and grabbed a plastic bag from the pantry. “We’ll be right back. Just going out the front.”

  Ed kept his attention on the timer. “Okay, but any sign of danger, give a holler. And I’m sensing you two should spin again soon. As much as I like being out and about, having two gods together so closely tied to fate is just asking for trouble, don’t you think, Kni?”

  “Agreed,” Lorna’s god said. “Let Ed enjoy his nuggets and then we’ll head out, make you two somebody else’s problem for a while.”

  We went outside, both on heightened alert for any possible danger.

  “What did you want to say?” I asked.

  She held up her right hand and pointed at a slender gold bracelet. “This is my dimension hopper. Elf twin sisters made it for me before they were stung by a really nasty giant wasp dragon or something. Skireen barely got me out of there alive.”

  “Yeah, I got attacked by crows. Yours sounds worse. Slif, my goddess of misfortune, took me to a troll who made me this portal ring.” I showed her the jewelry in question. “Gabe didn’t die, though. Sorry about your elves.” I wondered if she knew that over a hundred others in our same situation had been killed already.

  “Thanks,” she said. “I think we should go to the ministry, see the copy of the prophecy for ourselves.”

  “My ring only takes me to my god wheel. Can’t really help there.”

  “Well, mine can go anywhere, at least that’s what one of the sisters told me. She didn’t like how Skireen insisted they make a limited bracelet and thought I shouldn’t be restricted. She wasn’t very trusting of the gods, so she didn’t go along with Skireen’s request.”

  “That’s crazy.” Why did an elf not trust celestials?

  “So, I say we ditch Kni and Ed and go our own way. How about it?”

  Part of me didn’t want to, but I was also feeling antsy, like taking action and not being led so much by our pantheon might be the right move. I eyed my dog. “Could I at least sneak him back inside? Three’s a crowd and Marty’s not anywhere close to a ninja. I suspect we’ll have to employ stealth to get into this ministry place.”

  “Do it.”

  I opened the front door and let the retriever in, tossing the leash in along with him. He took off for the kitchen. “Gotta pick up. Be inside in a second.” I didn’t even look to see if Kni could see me from his spot at the counter.

  I dashed back to Lorna.

  She hugged me tight. I felt her nervously fiddling with the bracelet just behind my neck.

  She drew closer and said, “Away we go.”

  We both closed our eyes at the same time.

  And then we were off, completely unsupervised. Something told me we’d find out soon enough if that foolish choice would be the death of us.

  Chapter 7

  Forced Entry

  We landed in an alley on large, and rather clean, cobblestones. We slipped free of each other’s arms and scoped out our locale.

  The buildings, like the cobblestones, were spotless. Everything was pristine and had a faint glow. The brick work was exceptional, and the wood frames around the doors and windows spoke of exceptional craftsmanship.

  The alley was not dark in the least.

  “This is like the brightest alley ever,” I said. “No trash or crunchy leaves to be found anywhere.”

  “Welcome to the Dominion. Guess they like it clean here. Skireen must’ve been on the planning committee.” She smiled.

  I got her joke. Her goddess of tidiness. Good one. “Would it surprise you to see her steering a street sweeper around once we make it to a main thoroughfare?” I pointed to the far end of the alley, which led to a street, humming with activity. Several vehicles, most floating a few feet off the ground, zipped about. One or two pedestrians strolled by. Thankfully, none looked down the alley.

  We walked toward the street.

  “So if they can portal anywhere, why use vehicles?” Lorna pointed at a sleek hovercar drifting to a stop. A god wearing lightning bolt headphones and dressed in a light blue robe exited and walked off. We caught a glimpse of the driver, a man in just a swimsuit, before the vehicle’s door slid shut and it zipped away.

  “Not sure. Maybe mirroring our world helps them relate?”

  Lorna frowned. “I don’t know. That sounds flimsy.”

  She stopped. A goddess stood at the end of the alley, peering at us.

  “Uh-oh. Think we’ve been made,” Lorna said.

  Her turn of phrase cracked me up. I had to admit, she was handling all this craziness with confidence and assertiveness. I liked that.

  “What do we do?” Lorna asked.

  The goddess marched toward us, waving vigorously. “Hello, everything okay?”

  “Pretend, Lorna. We’re gods, not mortals.” I drew in a breath and stood up straighter.

  “Good tidings. My associate and I were just taking a step back.” I walked toward the goddess, thinking to wait for her to draw closer would make us appear nervous.

  Lorna mumbled under her breath, “Good tidings? Associate?”

  “Playing a character. Going for larger than life here.”

  “More like a stuffed shirt.”

  I didn’t look, but I could almost sense her eye roll.

  Lorna smiled at the goddess. “Urku is right.” She punched me lightly on the shoulder. “I’m afraid I find all the busybodies out there a bit maddening. Everyone flitting about doesn’t sit well with me. I’m the goddess of efficiency and what I see out on the Dominion streets is just unfettered chaos.”

  Unfettered? And she got on me for being stuffy?

  The goddess nodded. “Tell me about it. I am Aora, goddess of etiquette for Lamont Dreyfus, and vastly underappreciated by my thirteen-year-old host.”

  Aora’s black hair cut in a bob emphasized how young she was, maybe early twenties. Of course, being a goddess, that didn’t mean a thing. She could be centuries old. I wondered why some deities chose youthful looks while others gravitated to a more mature guise. She wore quite a bit of eye makeup, such that she could easily be mistaken for a raccoon or a YouTuber obsessed with smokey eye. Her green top hung off her shoulders, and her white capri pants matched her white sandals.

  She asked, “Where’s your feed?”

  What?

  “Thank god Lamont’s dozed off. Only time I get a true break. I’m not on dream duty this week.” She waved her left hand about and a small circular portal no wider than six inches or so appeared. An image resolved in the rift of an African American boy sleeping in a bunk bed. Aora gave it a lazy look and exhaled sharply through her nose. “Yep, still in la-la land.” She snapped her fingers, and the portal disappeared.

  Lorna pieced it together slightly faster than me. “Mine’s in a coma. Been pretty bleak for a while now.” She offered a sad face.

  An excellent reason why she didn’t have a feed.

  Aora gave her a cursory hug and looked at me.

  I panicked. I thought of Ed and how he’d mentioned they got some time off when their mortal died. “I’m between hosts.”

  Aora took a step back. “Really? And you chose to hang here rather than live it up on Earth for a bit?”

  “Yeah, well, I only got a two-day pass. Next one, a Jenny Briggs, is d
ue to start up sometime tomorrow.” A good lie required thoughtful details. “Her mom’s scheduled for a C-section at three in the afternoon.”

  “Ah, new life.” Aora struck a pensive pose. “Those first few years are a cakewalk. Not much on tap for us deities to do with a newborn.”

  “Unless you’re the god of fine motor skills. Then you have your work cut out for you.” I smiled.

  The goddess gave me an expectant look. “And are you?”

  “No, no. God of sarcasm.” I shrank back slightly. Aora looked at me with displeasure. “Guess I won’t be needed anytime soon.”

  Aora lost interest in me. She placed a hand on Lorna’s arm, inches from her bracelet. Would she notice and think it odd she wore a dimension-hopping device?

  I studied the goddess, noting two rings and a simple gold necklace featuring an ankh. So weird to see a goddess appropriate a symbol from another religion. Hopefully, she’d see Lorna’s bracelet as just jewelry.

  Aora said, “If you care, I’m hosting a little soirée tonight at my brother’s estate. Just portal in and I can loop you in to some meaningful social circles.” She squinted slightly at me.

  I knew judgment when I saw it. It made sense a goddess of etiquette would have no patience for someone so chummy with sarcasm.

  Aora turned about and delivered a stiff-armed wave without looking back. “Well, toodles. Do venture out of your alley and live a little.”

  “Bye,” Lorna said.

  At the end of the alley, the goddess turned right and disappeared.

  Lorna let out a deep breath. “Whoa, that was close.”

  I walked toward the street, focusing on the deities strolling past. Most had a small portal that held a moving image floating either to the right or left of their heads that they paid slight attention to. “It was. And did you get that she didn’t care for me?”

  Lorna grinned. “You’re an acquired taste. She’s all about being proper and well mannered. Did you really think she’d cozy up to someone with such a sharp tongue?”

  It pleased me she had come to the same conclusion. “Just as long as a certain goddess of efficiency sees a niche for me in her life, I’m good.”

  Lorna said, “Verdict’s still out on that, smarty pants. Consider yourself very much on probation.”

  “Yeah, well, if I manage to save the world, that’s gotta count for something.”

  “You would think,” she said with overt sarcasm.

  ****

  We made our way through the city, drawing very little attention mostly because we stayed on the move. We did notice no one else in any of the alleys, so no wonder Aora had checked on us. I guess deities liked to be seen.

  Gods and goddesses of every type walked, flew, and rode about, most with portal feeds at their side. A small percentage were like us, with no feed. Enough that I felt confident we wouldn’t rouse suspicion. Now if anyone demanded we summon our feeds, we might be in trouble. Quite a few deities were fixated on their feeds. Surprisingly, none ran into each other or into any obstacles. The movement of the many pedestrians came off as exquisitely choreographed. I almost witnessed a plump goddess get clipped by a hover car, but she ducked her head into her feed at the last second. When she pulled herself out of the tiny portal, she was no worse for the wear.

  “How do we find this ministry place?” I asked, stepping out of the way of a stout god. While he was quite bulky, I more or less evaded him as I didn’t want to get close to his beard of fire. What was he the god of anyway?

  “We can’t exactly ask anyone,” she said. “That would raise suspicions. You notice everyone except us is moving about with a destination in mind?”

  “Yeah, and it’s all so smooth and effortless, like a sidewalk ballet or a flash mob.”

  “Really thought we’d portal to the front entrance of the ministry. That’s what I was picturing in my head.” Lorna studied every building.

  Most looked like dwellings. We had found very few businesses, a handful of clothing stores, and a surprising number of shoe boutiques. I guess the divine appreciated stylish footwear. The stereotype of the godly outfitted with sandals didn’t hold up. If anything, sneakers and boots appeared to reign supreme. There were no restaurants or eateries of any type. Did that mean our pantheons didn’t need to eat? If that was the case, why had Ed gotten so excited about nuggets?

  She said, “Weird that there’s not a single place to get a bite. Makes me hungry.”

  “Maybe that’s a good thing. It wouldn’t be smart to eat food if this was fairy land, and maybe the same goes for this place.”

  “And Persephone really screwed up when she ate a pomegranate, huh?”

  I grinned, pleased she knew her mythology. “So be glad we’re not being tempted by food truck tacos or poke bowls.”

  She snickered and then suddenly pointed to our left. “There, that has to be it.” Lorna slipped between two white-haired goddesses chatting up a storm and raced down a side street that had light sidewalk traffic.

  I spotted the building that must have gotten her excited. While all the others around it were light colors, mostly tans and creams with an occasional gray edifice, the structure in question was a bright blue and domed.

  I caught up with her. We both moved at a slight jog.

  I said, “Could be the Ministry of Poorly Thought-Out Paint Choices, so don’t get your hopes up.”

  She ducked, avoiding a god that appeared to be a stone gargoyle. I smiled at it and waved. The deity looked back at us, slightly peeved at our intense pace.

  “Um, Lorna. Let’s chill and slow down a gear or two. I think we’re drawing attention.”

  Her cheeks reddened as she decelerated, settling on something just under speed walking. “You’re right. No one here is in a hurry.”

  A few minutes later, we stood eyeing the sign in front of the blue building. Ministry of Prescience was etched into a gold plaque mounted on a wrought iron fence to the right of a closed gate. The fencing surrounded the ministry. Two men in green armor stood on guard, both wearing helmets reminiscent of Roman Centurions.

  I drew Lorna away from the guards, who, so far, hadn’t paid us much attention. “This isn’t good. Notice that the only place with a fence and security we’ve seen so far is the ministry?”

  Lorna nodded as she scrutinized the façade of the building.

  I did the same. The front entrance was about thirty steps up and you had to walk between two tall columns to get to a series of four double doors. Thankfully, there weren’t any guards posted up by the actual entry. Three rows of windows trailed along either side of the grand entrance. Everything was blue. The dome and the columns were a darker blue.

  “How do we get past them?” I asked.

  “We could pretend, try to play officials. Maybe we say we’re interns with the powers that be sent to get some low-level prophecy. Think that would work?”

  I stared indirectly at each guard. No sense being obvious about my examination. Both were battle-hardened goons. I wondered if they were celestials as they didn’t present as magical. No pointy ears to indicate they were elves. And they were too tall and not nearly hairy enough to be trolls. Although, the one on the right had a well-groomed goatee. Both gripped long spears and Joe Goatee also bore a bow and quiver full of arrows. “I doubt it.”

  Lorna pointed at the dome. “I could try and open a portal to get us up there. Maybe there’s a hatch somewhere.”

  “Likely the place has alarms, and I bet they either get triggered by a portal or simply prevent any rifts from being summoned near or inside the ministry.”

  “Makes sense.” Lorna suddenly looked over my shoulder at the street we’d just raced down. “What’s going on back there?”

  A large portal hung in the air over the street almost a hundred yards away from the guards. Numerous gods near it were aghast. Most retreated from the rift.

  And I understood why. Something was wrong about it. Not that I was a portal expert, but this tear in reality felt off, like
it violated the laws of time and space. That might’ve been because it was framed by a wreath of quivering organic ooze with blackened tentacles reaching outward. A noxious yellow haze belched from the darkness at its center and drifted swiftly toward the ministry. The cloud didn’t stray from its course, which was weird.

  “That’s not how fog works,” she said.

  Several airborne deities flew through the haze. When they did, each dropped to the street, unconscious or dead. I studied a pretty hooded goddess who had succumbed to the cloud. She lay on her back in the middle of the street. When I saw her chest rise and fall several times, I was relieved. “It’s knocking them out.”

  Lorna reacted instantly, grabbing my hand and pulling me farther from the entrance and out of the fog’s path.

  Screams erupted from the portal. Four men dressed all in red, looking like ninjas, emerged from it, gleefully shrieking as they raced toward the ministry’s gates. Their eyes were the only thing not covered. They dashed through the cloud, unaffected by it.

  The same couldn’t be said of the guards. Both charged at the invaders, hastening their immersion in the haze. Each dropped quickly, with Joe Goatee lasting long enough to fire off an arrow that sank into the right bicep of the closest attacker.

  The injured ninja yanked the arrow out of his arm and howled.

  The foursome heaved themselves as one against the gates, which collapsed inward.

  “Sheesh, they’re strong. That gate looked pretty solid and pretty locked tight.” Lorna moved us a few more steps back.

  We watched as the portal ninjas ascended the steps, keeping themselves in the midst of the yellow fog, which now seemed twice as thick as before.

  The injured invader shouted out what sounded like a spell or incantation. All four sets of doors whipped open so hard that their glass shattered into pieces.

  “Whoa,” I said.

  Both the fog and the invaders crept into the ministry.

  “What was that?” Lorna said.

  I wanted to run in the opposite direction but couldn’t. It had to mean something. Even with our gods of happenstance back in the real world, this was too much of a coincidence to not see their influence still reached us.