“That offer doesn’t appeal to me. What about you, Quinn?”
“Nope. I’m very happy with my girl.”
“Yeah. Now.” I roll my eyes.
A year ago, Quinn was not as buoyant as he is right now. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever seen a man that low. I’m still not sure how he endured the hell he went through.
I also don’t know why I agreed to have drinks with them. I have no one to blame but myself for this conversation. When they’re each on their own, they’re bad enough, but put them together and they’re a damn tsunami, wiping out everything in its path.
“And tell us,” Liam’s voice is conspiratorial, “are you going to find her?”
“Like I’m going to tell you two assholes anything?”
“He already did,” Quinn tells Liam without looking at me. “See that face? He’s haunted. He probably saw her when he went back, maybe a girlfriend from high school?”
“I’m guessing she was his first,” Liam adds on.
“Could be. I mean, he looks pathetic. I’ve looked around, and there’s not a line of girls willing to drop their panties for him.”
Liam shrugs. “Maybe he has a small wanker? That could be it.”
“I’m thinking it’s the pathetic thing. No girl wants a man who is that broken.”
“I’m right here!” I growl the words at Quinn.
They both keep talking as though I said nothing.
Liam looks over at me as his voice fills with amusement. “Could be the attitude. He is a bit hostile.”
“I bet she snubbed him because, look at him, he’s not all that good looking.” Quinn shrugs.
“Who wants to deal with a grumpy, ugly, and unemployed former SEAL? It’s the whole damn package.”
I huff.
“Who wants to deal with you two?” I say under my breath.
“Well, we happen to have two gorgeous women in our lives that do,” Quinn answers. “But, seriously, did you see her?”
“Yeah, and I also saw her kid and she has a husband.”
Liam lets out a whistle. “Well, that definitely fucks that one up.”
“No shit.”
“Kid cute?” Quinn asks.
“Yeah, she is. She got hurt and hid on my farm. I found her and brought her home. Didn’t know who her mom was until I walked up to the house.”
The whole situation with Hadley still has me on edge. I don’t know what it is, but that day, the things she said, still has my hackles up. The thing is, I can’t tell if it’s because I fucking hate that Ellie is married or if my instincts are right about the injury.
“My advice? Stay away. Don’t be that guy.”
“I have no plans on fucking up a marriage and a family, Liam, but thanks for the vote of confidence.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t think anyone ever sets out to do it. I also don’t think you’re a bad guy, Connor, but I think things happen. I’ve seen lines get crossed, and if this woman means anything to you, your heart is going to talk before your head.”
“Or his dick.”
I roll my eyes. They act as though I haven’t had a lifetime of using restraint. I have never crossed a line like that. Doing so would make me closer to being a dirtbag like my father. He was selfish and did what was best for him, not caring about the damage left in his wake and expecting others to clean it up. I will never be like him.
“Thanks for all this unsolicited advice. I really appreciate the confidence and trust you two have shown.”
“Don’t take it that way,” Liam says quickly.
Quinn nods. “We just get it. We’ve loved a woman past the point of reason.”
Jesus. They’re like a bunch of old ladies. “I don’t love her. I don’t fucking know her. All I know is that what feels like a million years ago, we had a night. One night that . . . why the fuck am I telling you this?”
Liam chuckles. “Because whether it was one night or a lifetime, it meant something and you’re fucked in the head over it.”
Yeah, it meant something . . . that I’m going to need to immerse myself in fixing that house and getting out with as little contact as possible. That’s all it can ever mean.
I’m standing in this rundown barn, in the only spot that I can get a signal. I move one inch to the right, I lose Declan. I’ve been back here for two days, and I hate this place more than ever.
Sure, the house is quiet and no one is threatening to punch anyone, but it feels as though something is always lurking. My brothers and I spent five days cleaning as much as we could after the funeral, and Declan agreed, well, was forced, to buy all new shit.
I wanted every shred of my father gone. The bedroom furniture he slept in, the couches, the kitchen plates, all of it is gone.
We bought a few new appliances, since the old washing machine couldn’t be fixed if it broke, new beds, and furniture. I didn’t feel bad at all spending Declan’s money.
There are two years that all of us need to live in this hellhole, it was worth every penny.
Now, I need to start fixing everything so we can sell it.
“Dec?” I say his name again, waiting to see if he hears me this time.
“I hear you. How much money do you need?”
“I need at least ten thousand more.”
I hear the sigh of frustration leave my brother’s mouth. “And that’s just for the first barn?”
“Yup.”
“Wouldn’t it be cheaper to demolish it?”
“Dec, I can’t move an inch or I’ll lose you so I’m going to say this quickly. You told me to spend my six months working on fixing up the things that would make us money. A new barn—a good one that will actually help a farmer—would cost us around sixty thousand. So, wire me the money I need to fix this one and let me get to work. You’ll get it all back when we sell, anyway.”
My brother goes silent, and I have no idea if he heard any of my slight rant or if I lost connection, but I disconnect. When I turn around, I almost jump out of my skin.
“Hi, Connor!”
“Jesus!” I yell and grip my chest where my heart is now racing. “Hadley, I didn’t know you were there.”
“I’m very quiet when I want to be.” Her smile is wide as she shifts her body from side to side.
“I see that,” I say with a quiet laugh. “You remind me of how my brother Sean used to sneak around to scare me.”
“How many brothers do you have? I always wanted a brother. Brother or a sister, I wouldn’t be picky, but Mommy says I am enough to love all on my own. She was an only child too.”
I used to dream about being an only child some days. Having three older brothers was hell most of the time. When we had Mom, life was easy and fun—mostly for them because I was the dumb one who would listen to anything they told me.
Being accepted by my brothers was all I wanted. They were cool and had all the information I wanted. I was the annoying one when I was her age.
Who was the one who jumped out of a tree to see if it hurt when they landed? Me.
Who ate the cow pie because it would make a person stronger than Popeye? Me.
Who took the blame for breaking Mom’s figurine because no one would punish the baby of the brothers? Me.
And did I get punished? Yup.
“I have three older brothers. Declan, Jacob, and Sean.”
“Whoa. Are they here now? Are they as big as you? Can I meet them?”
I laugh at the awe in her voice. “Nope, they all went back to their homes while I stay here to work on the farm.”
Her head tilts to the side. “That’s sad. You’re going to be all alone.”
“I like being alone. Speaking of . . . what are you doing here? Do your parents know where you are?”
“Mommy told me to go outside and play, so I came here.”
Makes zero sense, but who am I to argue with a kid. “To play?”
“I wanted to climb the tree, but I promised no more climbing until my arm is better.”
“Did you see the doctor?”
Hadley nods excitedly. “I did. It’s just bruised and I’m supposed to wear this thing on my shoulder, but I don’t like it so I take it off when Mommy isn’t looking.”
I snort. “Sounds like something I would do. But you really should do what your mom says.”
“Promise not to tell?”
I lift my hand with my two fingers up in a peace sign. “Scouts honor.”
Not that I was a scout or anything close. Hell, I’m pretty sure that isn’t even the way it should look.
Hadley moves over to where I’m standing, looking at the pile of wood that is off to the side. “Are you tearing the barn down?”
“No, I’m fixing it. I’m going to take down the damaged pieces before putting all new boards up.”
“Can I watch?”
Uh. I’m not really sure what the protocol is on this. She’s a seven-year-old kid who I only ever met because she was injured in my tree. “I’m not sure your parents would like that.”
She shrugs. “Daddy doesn’t care as long as I’m out of his way.”
“What about your mom?”
Hadley purses her lips and kicks the dirt. “Maybe you can ask her.”
Yeah, not a shot in hell. That would not help with my whole plan to avoid Ellie.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“But we’re friends,” she retorts.
“We are . . .” I really don’t know how to extract myself from this one. “But I have to work a lot and don’t have time to go over right now.”
“Please, Connor. I have no friends other than you, and I promise I won’t be a pain. Plus, what happens if you get hurt? Who will call for help if you fall?”
Hadley crosses her arms over her chest, giving me the cutest lip pout ever. Jesus, I know why grown men are unable to say no to their daughters.
They know exactly how to get their way. I used to see it with Aarabelle and Liam. She led him—and every other SEAL she came in contact with—around by her pinky.
“I’m pretty sure I’ll be okay.”
“But how do you know?” she challenges.
How do I get myself into these messes?
“I guess I don’t.”
“See!” She perks up. “I can help. I’m a great helper. So, will you please ask Mommy if I’m allowed? She’ll say yes to you. Whenever a grown-up asks, other grown-ups can’t say no, it’s the rule. Did you know that one time I helped fix a fence? I did it all by myself. I’ll help you fix your barn too!”
This is such a bad idea. I know it, and yet, there’s this pull that’s telling me that I can see Ellie. Maybe I can find the flaw. Something that makes her less alluring. Something that will tell me that night wasn’t what I’d built it up to be in my mind.
If I can get that version of the story to change, then I might be able to stop playing it over and over again.
I’m lying to myself. My wanting to see her has nothing to do with needing to find a flaw in her. It’s just her. The woman who saved me that night when I felt at my lowest. I want to see her blue eyes staring back at me. I want to remember the way her long brown hair felt in my fingers. Does she still smell like vanilla?
I’m a fucking fool for this, but I can’t stop myself.
“Okay, but if she says no, you have to promise you’ll listen.”
Hadley squeals and wraps her arms around my middle. “Thank you, Connor. You’re the best friend anyone ever had.”
Oh, God, this kid is going to break my heart.
Chapter Seven
Ellie
“Mommy!” I hear Hadley yell from outside and leap to my feet.
Kevin is asleep, and if she wakes him, there is no telling what his mood will be. He came in about thirty minutes ago, exhausted and already angry. Somehow, I was able to get him to pass out, and there’s a reason people talk about letting sleeping dogs lie.
I rush out the door with my hands raised to stop her, and that’s when I see him. Connor Arrowood is wearing a pair of tight jeans and a gray shirt that clings to his skin. His hair is pushed over to the side like his hands just ran through it. And then there’s the scruff. It lines his jaw, making him look like sin and sex and everything I shouldn’t want.
He gives me a lazy smile as he moves toward me, holding Hadley’s hand.
“I found this cute kid at the barn and thought she belonged to you.”
My heart is racing, but I attempt to smile. “She sure does.”
“Mommy, Connor wants to ask you something.” She looks up at him with joy shining in her eyes.
Once again, I’m struck at the similarities between them, and my chest aches. Could Hadley biologically be his? If she is, would that change everything?
It would. We would have nothing tying us to Kevin, and maybe he wouldn’t search for us.
Or maybe it would make things worse.
He could fly off the handle and do God only knows what. If Hadley being his daughter is what is keeping her safe, I can’t allow myself to see things that may be figments of my imagination.
“You wanted to ask me something?” I say to Connor.
“Well, Hadley stopped by and wanted to know if it was okay if she hung out . . . I’m not really sure of the rules or if you’re comfortable with it. I’m fixing up the barn and then the house and then every other inch of the property for the next six months. Hadley was kind enough to offer to help make sure I don’t fall or break my arm without the ability to call for help.”
I know he says things, but my mind can’t process anything after the time he’s going to be here. “Six months?”
“That’s my sentence here on the farm,” Connor says with a huff. “In order to sell the place, each of my brothers and I have to live here.”
My stomach drops. Six months of him living next door. That’s a long time of trying to keep my mind from wandering, and six months of Hadley trying to become friends with him.
Six months of attempting to keep Kevin from seeing him.
I want to throw my hands in the air and scream in frustration.
If I have any hope of the last happening, I need to keep Hadley away from Connor. Not because of Kevin but because, if she forms an attachment to him, it will only hurt her when we have to run.
“Wow, that seems like a lot of work to do in six months and”—I look to my daughter—“you have a lot of homework and chores to do.”
“But . . .” Her lip quivers. “I like helping, and I promise I won’t be any trouble.”
“What the hell is going on out here?” Kevin’s deep voice booms as the front door flies open.
Dread fills me so fast I don’t have time to temper it. I turn quickly. “Baby, you’re awake?”
He looks at me, Hadley, and then to the man standing beside her. “Who are you?”
Hadley rushes forward. “This is Connor, Daddy. He lives next door.”
I close my eyes for a second and try to think. I need to get Connor to go before Kevin’s anger grows and I really pay for it. It’s too late to avoid his ire entirely, so minimizing it is my only chance.
Kevin’s eyes lift from Hadley back to Connor. “You’re one of the Arrowood brothers.”
“I am.” Connor’s voice is deeper than Kevin’s, and I swear the testosterone in the air is enough to make me choke. “I take it you’re Hadley’s father? It’s nice to meet you.”
“How do you know my daughter?”
I step toward him, my hand on his chest and a soft smile on my lips. “Hadley wandered a bit too far, and Connor was nice enough to make sure she found her way home.”
Kevin takes another step down so he’s off the steps. His hand snakes around my back and grips my shoulder. “Well, that was very nice of him. Hadley, go on out back for a minute. And then you can check on the horses.”
She looks to me, and I give her the smile I’ve perfected.
“Okay, Daddy.”
“Thanks, my sweet girl. And don’t wander off this ti
me.”
Hadley turns, the fear in her eyes is there, but she smiles up at him. “I won’t.”
“That’s my good girl.”
My husband is great at illusions. To anyone watching, he’s being loving and attentive. He’s always been this way. He would never give anyone room to gossip. When we do go out in public, he dotes on me. He touches my face with tenderness. His hand holds mine, and he smiles as he watches me.
It’s so easy to believe the lies.
I can even get swept up in them. And I know better.
Still, I wish he would love me that way all the time. I want to remember how his hands touched me in love and not anger. My heart aches for the kind man who offered to help me and didn’t cut me down.
It’s stupid, and I know it. He won’t ever be that man, and that’s why I’m leaving.
His hand moves down my back, gripping my hip. There’s a fresh bruise on that side, and I pray he doesn’t remember or he’ll find a way to use it. “It seems welcome home is in order. I’m Kevin and this is my wife, Ellie.”
Connor’s eyes narrow slightly, but he steps forward, hand extended. Kevin has no choice but to release me. They shake hands, and I can hear the thunder echo in the background.
“It’s great to meet you both.” Connor’s hand moves to me.
I take it, shaking as briefly as I can, and retreat back to my husband. I move toward him, trying to force myself into his embrace. Kevin wraps his arm back around me, and I smile up at him.
Please let this be enough.
“Hadley didn’t cause you any trouble, did she?”
“Not at all. I meant to stop over here when I moved back in the other day, but I got sidetracked. It’s been a while since I’ve been in town, and I didn’t know who took the Walcott farm since they didn’t have kids.”
Kevin nods slowly. “Yeah, my uncle left it to me. For the first time in over fifteen years, we’re profitable. I know your father had a big dip a few years back.”
“Doesn’t surprise me,” Connor says without emotion. “I’m shocked there is a building still standing.”
“Hopefully, you do better than he did. It’s doubtful you can turn it around but, who knows, right?”
Come Back for Me Page 5
