Blood Sabers

by Burbaugh, MF;

  Rodel said, “Prerecorded due to lag.”

  “I stand for my daughter this wondrous day, let any who find fault come and taste my sword!” He stepped forward looked around, “I thought not,” stepped back, and watched.

  “He will be sent the full video, of course,” Rodel said.

  I heard the words and even got an ‘I do’ in. I next felt the hands. “I, Linda, last wife to King Jake, accept Matawasa as my wife until death we do part, and will guard and protect all of Jake’s children as my own.”

  “You are now husband and wives.”

  I kissed Matawasa as tenderly as I could, followed by each of the others, finishing with a long one to Aawasa.

  “Sorry, you already had your honeymoon, we have work to do,” Aawasa said.

  “Video sent to her father; reply, if there is one, in eleven minutes,” Rodel said.

  “Jump in two hours, jump, jump in two hours!” Rodel said. “Hey, this is actually fun!” He laughed.

  Her father messaged back his heartfelt blessings.

  The probe went through the fold and came back. We jumped. I had a short sensation of seeing a lot of us on each side as we went through. New Earth was a day away…close jump, things had improved.

  Rodel linked with New Earth and reported that one of the enemy ships was indeed destroyed when four Seekers took it out. “It is said, and video confirms, they never knew what hit them. The newest type Seekers are on the way, and have been readjusted to fill the gap.”

  I thought of something. “Get a message to Latwasa, asking for a feasibility study. Searchers. Find and follow back gravity wave perpetuations, elemental trails, radiation trails, backtracking through the jumps. Damn, should have thought of it long ago, but had my mind too much on sex.”

  He confirmed the message was sent to Latwasa.

  “Did New Earth say anything?” I asked.

  “Yes, Sir, their last ship awaits our arrival in orbit, but they request, due to the delicate sensibilities of their women, that we not send a video feed,” he said.

  “Ha, we know more than they pretend, but since we just had a wedding I think we are presentable to their ladies.”

  “Open visual links to all their comms, usurp the gear, you got all the freqs and comm codes from our old ship,” I said. Rodel and Latwasa had spent many years perfecting some fantastic abilities in electronic gear.

  “Form a half circle around me,” I said.

  “You are worldwide, Sire, such that it is,” Rodel said.

  “Ladies and gentlemen of New Earth. I am King Jake, ruler of Camelot. I present my wives.” I introduced each of my queens in order, Aawasa down. Each curtsied.

  “I understand you had a bit of sport with the prince I sent on his diplomatic mission. In the spirit of goodwill, I offer you the chance to make amends for that. I see you have found our Seekers useful in your defense, as promised. More will come in time. As we speak we are gearing up for the fight. I did not come for diplomatic reasons, only to ascertain whether our Seekers performed as promised. We go to carry out important matters. We will entertain the delegation sent to orbit, to not do so would be most undiplomatic, but we must push on. I want to wish all well in our combined fight against the Head Hunters, whomever they may be.

  “Kill the feed,” I said.

  “Rodel, raid all their data, see what they need and have. Add any data they can use, and put a huge Camelot flag on it so they know we put it there.”

  “Yes, Sire, some of the encryption has changed, but they did not recalibrate it even after you and Sylvia disappeared. Twenty minutes tops.”

  We met their last explorer in orbit, docked, and had them in for tea. A full six, four diplomats, one military spy, and one female captain flight officer Aawasa and I both knew. At least the damn general didn’t come.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, please come in. I am King Jake and these are my wives.” We all shook hands and introductions were made.

  “I was serious, we can’t stay, we don’t want to offend, but we are trying to save a Universe.” I stood in front of the spy. I knew exactly who he was. “Your cover is deep, Sir, my compliments, but not enough. You are here to see if you can glean any intelligence of military value. My little bitty onboard comp has already cracked all your codes and is downloading the technology and logistics within your power to build or use for your defense. Those we add will all have a flag of red panties on them, however, since you would be remiss in your job to believe such a fairytale, please move to the front and ask our comp any military related question you wish. Rodel, full access please?

  “To prove we do know what we say,” I walked to the captain, “Captain Gloria Devonshire here is unmarried, currently having sex with the mayor’s son, Walter, not sure his wife knows though. She has had two abortions, one fathered by Walter, and one by John, the missing pilot.” Aawasa, as Sylvia, already knew about it.

  “I started to move to one of the diplomats. “Need I go on? I can you know, some juicy stuff coming up.” They all agreed I knew more than even they did. Gloria cried quietly and Linda hugged her.

  I bent and kissed her lightly, “I harm only to help, not you, all of you,” I said.

  “So we can dispense with all the bullshit, which I will know it is, and get to business. What do you need and/or want that is within our barely developing planet’s abilities?”

  Their lists were long and, as I knew, impossible to meet.

  “Look, let me tell what we have. Maybe you will understand when I say barely developing. We have one Destroyer, completed a few days ago, this one. We have 50,000 women warriors carrying bow and sword. We have 70,000 women carrying shield and spear, we have 20,000 men who are mostly spear, we have six women space pilots and three men. We have two royal space yachts, and one 44cal pistol. I slapped it on my hip. We have the Seekers you have protecting you and a few more than that number protecting us. We don’t even have a car yet, but we have a few transcontinental aircraft for passenger traffic, an ocean yacht, and a single helicopter. Ladies and gentlemen that is all we have.”

  They did not believe me, I saw it on their faces. The guy up front said, “All the data onboard says he tells the truth.”

  “Give us six months and we will be different, but not now,” I told them. "Why did General Paddock not come? Still hiding in the control center and letting others do the work?" I looked at them then shook my head, "Never mind, I already know."

  The female diplomat said, “Five wives to show your domination over us females like that prince guy?” I had expected someone to mention it, like Earth they were a one and one society and this woman had been livid when the prince showed them his three.

  “Let me explain. Stand up and take all your clothes off and I’ll take you in back and we can sex until you are tired, okay?” I asked.

  She went livid; she reminded me of some domineering women of old. Not Amazonian, as in we are better than you and can prove it with sword or axe. More a control freak. “You filthy male–” I put my hand up.

  “Point made!” I said. “Now listen. The Prince tried, but you would not listen.”

  “Aawasa, how many females do we have in Camelot City?” I asked.

  “Not sure, my husband, 250,000 maybe,” she said. “Counting the military.”

  “Katawasa, how many men do we have in Camelot city at the moment?” I asked.

  “About 40,000, I think, my husband.”

  “Hummm, about 6 to 1 then,” I said.

  “Queastra, how many women may a male have at one time?”

  “Three wives and three courtesans, minimum one month contracts on each of the courtesans, my husband, six total,” she said.

  I saw the diplomat’s look of disdain. “Yes, prostitutes if you will, except they get no services but sex.”

  “This system allows a stable family and allows all the women to have a healthy sexual relationship with the few males still alive.”

  The male diplomat said, “We have a few men more than willing
to help out!” He laughed.

  Matawasa looked him over and flatly said, “Every one of you would be dead in twenty-four hours, maximum.”

  “Aawasa, my dearest wife. If I went to the Army parade field and there were 10,000 women there and I told them that all who wanted sex to bend over, how many would do so?”

  “10,001 my husband,” she smiled.

  “I said 10,000.”

  “No, my dearest, I would be first in line. 10,001,” she laughed--they all laughed.

  “Our women are known to Earth, they were there for a while, and they tried Earth men. When they had sex with them the men died from exhaustion. These women were called Amazons.”

  The diplomat woman laughed.

  “You doubt what I say?” I asked her.

  “A man dying of exhaustion, absurd,” she said, glaring.

  “Let me explain the facts of life to you, woman. Believe it or not, your choice. I tire of your stupidity.

  “Linda, we had a reasonable toss in the sack a few times. Tell this stupid woman, who controls the start, how rough it gets, and when or if I may release?”

  “We women of course, you ride until we say stop. Always is that way.”

  “Ya, right,” she said.

  “Tell me Aawasa, my dearest, when you decided you needed sex, how long until you allowed me to finish?” I asked.

  “I went easy on you, five and a half days is all.”

  Linda said, “Only three days here.”

  There was a five days, and a four and a half days added by the others.

  “That is why the Earth men died. Even we men that can tolerate them are in short supply.”

  “No way, no effing way, you all are so full of bullshit it comes out your ears, just like that prince of yours,” she said. “That white lying bitch ain’t one of these Amazon things he claims, and she said three days!”

  “You’re right of course, Linda is not exactly an Amazon but she is still a bit different.” I turned to her and said, “Linda, I think there is a fly on the window outside, about there. I pointed to a spot on the hull, “would you remove it please?”

  Linda winked. “Of course my darling!” She took off her clothes and threw them to the diplomat. “Hold these, be right back.”

  “Rodel, 360 please?” I asked.

  They saw Linda go out the hatch, walk to where I pointed, and ask, “Here?” through the earbud that Rodel hooked to the remote.

  I nodded. She pretended to rub it off and walked back in.

  “Thank you, my dear.”

  The diplomat was shaken, but she said, “It’s a trick of some kind.”

  Linda said, “It’s a nice cool temperature outside, come, let’s go for a walk.” And when Linda’s frozen hand touched the diplomat’s she screamed as blood froze and skin ruptured, and just sat there babbling.

  “The fun is over, we are who and what we say, and I will never again allow anyone of New Earth to question my truth. They will lose their heads in but a flick.”

  The female’s hand had turned black and the skin ruptured where it froze solid. She just stared.

  I Lifted her head. “I suggest you are far too stupid to even try to be some type of diplomat trying to take us back to some ancient false liberation days. Women who know have power, all these women here have power, not over me, over everything they do. You have no clue were the real power is, and if I ever see you again my wives will show you what Amazon warriors do so well with swords—you understand me?”

  She stared.

  I screamed, “You understand me?”

  She nodded.

  “Well good, now that we understand. Linda, my love, would you take care of that hand of hers, it looks painful!”

  Linda went to her, rubbed her hands together to bring up a little blue glow, placed one on each side, and slowly drew them back and the diplomat’s hand was healed.

  “Comes in handy on other body parts after a rough ride in the saddle too.” I winked at the male guy.

  “Come. Let us have some tea. I think if I send my Prince, he shall receive a different reception now?” I looked at the male diplomat.

  “I guarantee it,” he said.

  “A little entertainment from my wives. Matawasa is our youngest wife. Fifteen and a half. She is but a beginner with the sword but they should be able to put on a show. Maybe the female diplomat would like to see what real women spend time doing, instead of bitching?

  “You play with swords, Sir?” I asked the diplomat.

  I saw the spy come forward as he said to me, “All is exactly as you said it was.”

  “A little fencing in college,” the diplomat said.

  Our spy said, “I was first in the Academy with the bokken Samurai sets. It is a sport, you know.”

  “Wonderful!” I said. “Aawasa, how many heads, or other body parts have you removed with your katana for sport, dear?”

  “Surly not over a few thousand, my husband. I was with child during much of the fun,” and she hung her head in shame.

  “Katawasa, my love?”

  “Rodel and I tried to count once. He said 3400, I quit at 3000.” She smiled.

  “Do you also doubt?” I asked the spy.

  “Question without being there is my nature. But doubt after what I have seen? No, I do not, Sir.” He was honest.

  “Our youngest will challenge our two fiercest. Except for one man, these five are the best in our kingdom. Though hard to believe, they are married to me because they are my army.”

  They all stripped to their fighting gear.

  “Ladies, the floor is yours.”

  I turned to the woman who, best I could figure, was having a kind of identity issue. “I truly love them, and love to show them off,” I told her.

  Aawasa on one side, Katawasa the other, one high, one low, and poor little Matawasa in the middle.

  The opening gambit went nowhere. Aawasa tried a side slash high, called a jodan giri. I remember The General saying not to remember the Japanese names because it cluttered the mind and slowed the reflexes. Katawasa went low. Matawasa actually laid out flat between both, looped, and tried a down slash on Katawasa. All missed.

  I heard an ‘oo’ from the male and a gasp from the pilot.

  Ten minutes in. I think the spy was almost quick enough to catch Matawasa’s double Musashi move. It was a highly modified version of a shiho giri, or cut in four directions; it had an additional foot step at the very last second, only the fastest alive could see, and only one of the four directions was actually used, impossible to block, they say. I saw the spy’s eyes pop.

  “Sorry ladies, I know you are still warming up, but you will start flinging sweat soon and my point is made. Now the lady diplomat that thought she knew we were just a bunch of sexist men with women as slaves, point made? Each one of them could kill me with a blade--if anyone is a slave it is me.”

  She nodded.

  “Well, Sir? Barbarians we are, and most proud of it too,” I said.

  “Remind me to never pretend I even know what a sword looks like,” said the male diplomat.

  “I have never seen a move, twice, not–” said the spy.

  “I thought you noticed. Look up in your records Miyamoto Musashi. It was his move, we have three who can do it, but one does not try hard enough yet.

  “Okay, watch and help them count if you can, actual war video starting with the death of one of our own.

  “Linda, bring our so-called diplomat back here please? Let us solve her problem while the rest watch the movies.”

  The woman’s eyes grew to pure horror. She told the two guys to help her, and they both said, “For years you told us you never needed any damn man’s help, remember? You are a real woman, you said.” They continued to watch the movie.

  Linda picked her up with one hand and her sword with the other and carried her all the way to the back and closed the doors.

  “Test her, please?”

  Linda stood her up and against her, face away, and ra
n her hands slowly head to toe, backed up to her crotch. “How in all the hells of our universe can a virgin pretend to be a knowledgeable woman? How?” Linda was in her face. I calmed her down. “She’s as cold as a space cube,” Linda said.

  “Come, my virgin, remove all your clothes, now.” She screamed and screamed. When she stopped, I said, “Well?” She resigned herself to her fate when she saw no one gave a damn about her.

  The woman started to remove her clothes, but I finally stopped her.

  “Linda, sword please?”

  Linda unsheathed hers and the woman saw it and the sparks, and was in terror.

  “If you ever so much as breathe the words ‘dominating male’ again she will cut your head off. Now, move off the bed, my wife wants a quickie.”

  “Oh, good. Move over bitch, you are hogging the bed,” and she bumped her onto the floor. “Stay there.”

  “Thirty minute quickie, maybe?” Linda asked.

  “High and fierce, make her feel it,” I said.

  “I am ready to ride! Yaaaaaa hooo!” Yes, I felt she was hamming it up a bit.

  As the woman lay on the floor, Linda and I rode, a freaking cyclone, wave after wave after wave…she pointed to a really big one and we rode it to shore and we both collapsed.

  I looked at the woman, she was close to catatonic. Linda said, “Every one of those was called an orgasm, lady, wave after wave. The little pulse at the end was his little splash. I am a real woman, you believe yet?”

  She nodded, we noticed the puddle on the floor. She waddled out the doors as Linda yelled, “That was thirty minutes, and we normally go three to five days, each!”

  The woman went past all the others and waddled to the other ship.

  I asked the spy person, “Well?”

  “Amazing, I liked the little Robot waving the sword and playing the bagpipes.”

  “Yeah, well, he’s stuck down south in a radioactive hot spot for a few million years, still has the sword though.”

  I chewed out the male diplomat and told him if I ever saw the woman again he would lose his head.

  “Why me?” he asked.

  “You allowed her to be here and offend me, and she offended my prince before, is why. She saw us men as being sex slave owners, not able to see it is really we men who are the willing captive slaves of these lovely women. And she is still a virgin by the way,” I said.