Blood Sabers

by Burbaugh, MF;

  “That will mean I can still get to have my three courtesans.” I laughed.

  “Are you sure? We have no such thing as divorce,” Aawasa said.

  Brigit looked at us all then she nodded. Katawasa pointed out I hadn't yet kissed her so it must be some other magic afoot. Linda just smirked.

  “Rodel, royal wedding please? Kill the meetings and show all asleep, her up front, and have someone in the video check her every few hours, tossing and turning, you know,” Aawasa ordered.

  And then there were six wives. Some blue guy with a red Katana stood for her.

  “…husband and wives.” Rodel said. “All duly noted, Sire. At twenty-six she is now the oldest. Remember to respect your elders.” Geez his screeching hurt at times.

  Aawasa explained why each man on Camelot was allowed up to six women. She thought it unusual, but could live with it. They told her about the two-day honeymoon ritual and what happened after. She found herself submersed in a strange world, even a dream, or maybe a nightmare the mind could not conceive.

  Rodel had the med unit pull up a one year vile, pop, done. Linda’s touch fixed the wound.

  “Rodel, have her video get private updates from Earth on what to do, and assure them that we still think we may just destroy Earth and be done with it. Have her do what they told her to do to keep me happy, you know, turn her into a porn star. Keep them entertained for three days or so, that should be good. Keep the sex crazed powerful dumb hick image alive for a while longer while I go to my honeymoon.”

  “Favorite dress color?” he asked her.

  “Gold or light brown.” she said.

  “Get a call in to Sax, one gold dress and matching hardware, and get all the wives some damn shoes to match theirs. Negotiate for gold and or platinum, and get Matawasa the correct necklace.”

  We retired to the back master bed.

  Aawasa said, “Two days starts now my husband, then it is our turn.” She closed the doors.

  “Well, you asked for it.” I smiled.

  “I think I did. I am a traitor to my planet, you know,” she mused.

  “Actually, you’re its savior, they just don’t know it yet. We really could make the Earth go poof; wouldn’t of course, but we are fully able to.

  “To save us from a group we call the Head Hunters I need total control over Earth’s military and industrial complex. I don’t have time for politics as usual. They won’t give that to me ever, so I intend to take it.

  “They will set a trap for us when we land, it’s their nature, and you will intentionally be in the line of fire. Just so you know in advance.”

  “They wouldn’t!” she exclaimed.

  “Bet you,” I said.

  “You got a bet,” and we laughed.

  I think we rocked the whole ship. I didn’t take her surfing, not yet, that was day two.

  She slept well that night and was fully refreshed. We ate and drank some tea; she liked the bread dunked in it. Aawasa tried to explain the surfing. Brigit said she had done a little surfing with some boyfriend or other.

  “Let me explain how this surfing works. Each wave from start to finish is a full orgasm for you. Only the final wave is for me. This can kill you, or even me. I have survived five and one half days with Aawasa. Each time you have an orgasm, all of my wives do too. It can hurt them; they are close and have nobody holding them down. I am along for the ride, but you are in control. You point out my final wave and we ride to shore together. One of them will slap my butt silly if you get too wild or surf too long. It will pull me out and I don’t get my reward. You understand?”

  She nodded her head and said, “Not a clue.”

  “I’ll lead us in, then. When I hold your hand you control, go very easy, almost no sense of time in there. Point to shore when it feels right. Keep the storms light.”

  I mounted her as normal then I placed my head near hers and felt the little spark that said we were joined. I took her to a small lake; she was mystified. I had a speedboat come by and we rode the ripples. She immediately understood, and smiled.

  I called up a spring shower and a brisk wind, we rode the waves and she was so shocked we dropped back to reality. I smiled and back we went into our shared dream.

  I held her hand; we went from full gale to no wind and all in between as she fought to get emotional control. For a non-Amazon, she did very well.

  We rode some good size waves, nice sharp crests, she went too high, I let go and she brought it down. I took her hand again. Finally she pointed to a wave, I took it up high with a full rolling curl and we rode it home and I felt her collapse under me.

  “Time?” I asked.

  “Still had an hour to go.” Rodel said.

  “Exquisite run for a first timer,” I said.

  “My God, how do you do that?” She was breathing very deep.

  “I told you. You control, not me. The other wives allow it, and Linda’s sword amplifies it. The women are Amazons, it is how they have survived with so few men. They would get human men and literally kill them during sex. It wasn’t myth, they just rode the waves until the poor guy dropped dead. They kept just enough alive to procreate. They give you the power, as family. But no, we really have no clue what goes on, other than I survive and even thrive with Linda’s help, which gives me the false reputation of being a love god.”

  I told her what happened on Camelot. Five days of uncontrolled orgasms over half a continent. “I saw it, I felt it, raw power, raw sex, unbridled and dangerous. I was so afraid it would get away. Wait until you see them, you will see why sex itself isn’t the problem.” I hauled her up, kissed her deep. Just short of twenty-four hours,” I said.

  “No way!” she said.

  “Twenty-three hours, eleven minutes, and eighteen seconds to be exact,” Rodel said.

  “Oh my God, what have I done?” she asked.

  “Welcome to Camelot, my dear wife!” I laughed. “You have joined a family trying to save a universe is what you have done.”

  When I opened the doors, she saw what I meant. Poor, decrepit wives, all lying about, panting in pools of sweat.

  Aawasa weakly said, “I use to think, for hundreds of years I use to think the gift a good thing, but with him and the swords it becomes a great danger!”

  “Why did you give me the power if it does this to you?” she asked.

  “Sweet child, you shall not enjoy him without sharing it with us, even if it kills us. It is our very lifeblood,” Katawasa said.

  “I need a shower,” I said.

  “Rodel, how are the negotiations going?” I asked, while drying off and getting presentable.

  “She is doing well,” he said. “Avon calling, well Sax.”

  “Aawasa, I had a dream,” I told her.

  “I know my husband. We may soon have the twelve, all will be explained. Shall we get the doorbell?”

  I laughed. A shuttle had arrived. Rodel changed the video to be appropriate; we took places. He told Earth he must cut video because of their behavior last time, it would be restored after top-secret devices were used. “Security, you know, cut,” he said.

  We cycled the hatch. An older man and a beautiful young Asian woman stood there, a bunch of packages on a two-wheel dolly. I asked them to wait but a few seconds.

  Linda said, “Bingo.”

  Aawasa nodded.

  I looked dumbfounded.

  “Later,” she said.

  “Rodel, scan please?” I asked.

  “About thirty seconds, Sire. I need to recheck the stones in one of the necklaces; one had a bug, I killed it. Okay, everything else is clean.”

  “Thank you, kind Sir,” I said.

  The old man looked at me. “You thank a computer?”

  “In a minute please, both, come in, bring the items. My wife Linda has a special sensitivity; I will need her to scan you as well.”

  She approached the man from behind and starting with his head. She slid her hands all the way down his body; he had been watching her
and had a hard-on. He was both amazed and embarrassed.

  “Not to worry, she has that effect on many people. If you hurry, it will still be there when you get back home.” He looked thoughtful, and smiled.

  “He’s clean, he is also now quite virile, for about a month. Sorry, can’t work too many miracles.” He was grinning ear to ear and was beet red as well.

  Linda looked into the girl’s eyes, and said, “Your turn.” She pulled her closer and ran her hands down her body. “Good, solid DNA, strong Japanese heritage.” As she hit the stomach I saw the girl twitch just a bit. Linda said, “Sorry, squeezed too hard,” and ran down to her feet. “She is pregnant.” Linda smiled and the girl was in shock.

  “Yes, your birth control is not viable. Good lawsuit if so inclined, but you are with child and I congratulate you.” Linda stepped back.

  “Okay, they are clean, Sire,” Linda said, and picked up and held open a box from the packages as Rodel said, “It is dead and has no effect on the looks. Very pretty.”

  “Thank you, Sir.” I turned to the guy, and said, “Now, about my robot. You two are the first Earth people to hear this.”

  “Rodel is my defective computer, he is also First Knight in the Royal Order of the Round Table of Camelot and will always be treated as such. Watch the screen—what you see are real dead and dying, those people are really us.” The final scenes of the Great Slaughter were shown; the man went white and gray. I thought he’d get sick but he fought it.

  Bagpipes played and a little robot came charging to the rescue waving a sword and a flag of red panties. We knew he’d added the panties to it.

  “That, Sir, is my defective robot. He did that without orders, and the bagpipes were so annoying the Koteck ran away.”

  The guy must have known something was there as four of us were teared up.

  Aawasa noticed the intensity of the stare from the girl when our swordplay was in view.

  “You are of the blade, my dear?” she asked her.

  “Um, I know the style and the swords looked familiar. My brother studies under a master in Japan, family tradition thing, very old. The males all go to learn.”

  “Why not the females? You saw us there,” Katawasa asked.

  “Um, custom, not allowed.”

  “Rodel, note, change that when the time comes, that is bull,” Linda said.

  “My wives are, um, quite liberated.” I smiled, all laughed.

  Aawasa went in back; we had kept all our weapons out of view.

  “This is my Katana, a bit old, but…” she removed the scabbard, held it to the light so the edge gleamed. “A full twenty folds, the rest of ours are ten folds at the minimum.” She turned it and the woman’s mouth dropped. “That’s Japanese writing! Made for Samurai Aawasa by Brigid of Kildara,” she read. Her original sword from Japan had broken during a demonstration twenty years after the defeat of the Koteck and she was devastated at the time. This one was far better. She nicked her finger and put it back.

  It hit me hard, I had my plan! “My wives are all self-trained, we find Masters hard to come by in deep space.” I had to smile a little.

  “Linda and I are two handed twin edged users, broad swords if you will, but the rest are my Samurai daito/wakizashi Amazon warriors.”

  If you would, my dear, you could do us a favor. My youngest wife

  here is fifteen and a half.” I brought her forward; I almost got a dirty look. “No one here is over twenty-one yet, except this dirty old man, I’m twenty-three. They are allowed to marry at twelve if they wish. Also your Earth general there is twenty-six.

  “I need an open challenge issued to Earth, no more than ten from the world. The higher the ranking the better chance to make the final cut. One million in platinum or gold as they wish, plus all expenses if they can touch her with blade or bokken anywhere on her body…make sure it is clear, if they call blade it can be to the death. I’d let one of the others do it, but they are masters and we wish to give our Earth friends a sporting chance. She requires a ten-minute rest period after each hour. Weapons can only be katana alone or katana and wakizashi, or bokken, challenger option. She requires three bokken hits on them to defeat them…got all that?”

  She was flabbergasted. “One million? You serious?”

  “One million is the minimum, the more challenging their skill, the more they can potentially make. At least one will be a male chauvinist pig and will request blades to the death, thinking it some old male-only warrior tradition and be upset that a female would dare. Is not one million to his widow and children, if he dies with honor, enough?” I asked.

  “I fear my people may have a shock coming—self taught you say?” she asked.

  I nodded. “Now, as to why you have come…the clothes,” I said.

  “I trust Sax’s discretion; the who and what is secret, okay?” They both nodded.

  “NASA knows, they went through it all,” he said.

  “That is fine, and as expected.”

  They unboxed a stunning white and gold evening dress. It fit Brigit perfectly. Beautiful matching half heel shoes (I insisted on the half-heels rather than full pumps) and a small clutch. Nice rare golden yellow fire opal and milk diamond necklace to go with it. Matawasa got her emerald and diamond necklace, and all received shoes and clutches. We now had civilized clothing. Fur boots never seemed to fit the mood.

  I laughed, all looked at me. “The most stunning creatures on any planet wearing their stunning clothes and all sporting swords.”

  “That is who we are, my husband,” Aawasa said. “Screw them if they don’t see the joke.” She smirked.

  I whispered something to our young Asian woman and she nodded. “We will arrive in Huston in a few days at noon. If you could be there I will make it worth your while, I promise.”

  We were done. I paid in a stack of platinum and gold bars as requested, and added $10,000 as a tip to them on top of the one I knew was already added in the bill. I also made sure they knew that I knew. The old guy kept gawking.

  I clapped him on the back. “Go home and make your wife happy or something!” I smiled, he forgot, but his pants showed he suddenly remembered as he blushed.

  I kissed the Asian woman’s hand and gave her a little extra platinum to cover the cost and overnight shipping of what I needed. She bowed deeply and backed out of the ship. The old guy took his little two-wheeled cart full of loot and pulled it into the transport, and they left.

  “Rodel, what are we negotiating now?” I asked.

  “Diplomatic rights. She is quite good, you are losing in a lot of areas.”

  I said to Brigit, “One tough negotiator! Good girl.” We all laughed.

  “I need the Huston Superdome as a stage. I think I finalized my plan. It must be under full embassy rights, nothing from fights to mass murder is an offense while we are present unless we say so, that must be clear. We barbarians have blood lust and accept no compromise. If we are offended anywhere on the planet, we may kill with full diplomatic immunity. Make it so, number one!”

  “You are about to lose your first serious battle,” I told her.

  Two days later all was ready.

  “We will move to our embassy tomorrow noon. Get your new buggy ready,” I told Rodel.

  “Yes, Sire.”

  State affairs settled, I said, “You ladies, my beautiful and loving, trusted wives. What the hell kind of shit have you been pulling?” I pretended mad, but they saw right through it.

  Queastra said, “We had to, you would never have allowed it.” She hung her head.

  Aawasa said, “I am number one and thought it up, I take the blame if needed. First, those 41 women we got pregnant in two days?” She looked at me.

  Brigit’s jaw dropped, “41 in 2 days?” she asked.

  “Shush,” Katawasa said. “Go on.”

  “All were carried out through Linda and using the then available different eggs--they were all pregnant with our children except Latwasa,” Aawasa said, bending her head. Thi
s I had already known.

  Linda stepped forward. “I did it, I checked each one, remember?” I have a sack of, now all of our eggs and the DNA patterns to make replacements on the fly.” She observed by reaction.

  “When they gave me my power back they left all my womanly parts intact. Not as before. I have a nice huge supply of eggs. All of the women, Doc, all of them I have right here. She patted her beautiful belly. Doc brought it up, called it surrogate mother, or IV something.

  “When I checked them I popped in one of our eggs, already fertilized.” She smiled. “Couple minor problems, but I mind adjusted those like I did the language problem before.”

  I thought she was using each woman’s own eggs and my sperm. “Okay, I will bite. Minor problems?”

  “Well, that blond, Gloria on New Earth. She is going to have a beautiful strapping young boy with blond hair, blue eyes, and black skin. Queastra’s.” Linda smiled, Queastra smiled. “Popped in a fertilized egg, all ready to go.”

  “The other is that pretty Asian girl. She will have a beautiful brown haired, brown eyed girl with round eyes,” she said and patted Brigit’s cheek. “Congrats, mommy!”

  “If she hadn’t married you she would have had mine, a shame.” She pointed to Brigit.

  “See what I go through, Brigit? I told you they are dangerous!” I wasn’t sure what to do.

  “Pack light, official gear, all weapons, a Rodel robot. Camelot normal battle dress, umm, wear your winter fur boots. More barbaric, I think. I will figure out what I want to do about the other matter later.”

  “From now until we leave, crash course in swords for Brigit--we need to keep her alive until she learns.”

  I told Matawasa I knew she would face at least one open blade in the upcoming challenges. In addition, could she counter the Musashi move herself, if she faced it.

  “I read his Book of Five Rings, and both the others. I think I have worked out a defense, only Queastra’s skill and speed would test it, but she hasn’t realized her potential yet.”

  “Well, why don’t you and Linda teach her? Use her to learn to defend; I’d rather have a live wife than a dead one.” I kissed her hand, Katawasa just watched.