Blood Sabers

by Burbaugh, MF;

  “One hour to orbit, one hour, one hour to orbit!” Snicker.

  “Any problems?” I asked.

  “No. They are still hailing non-stop.”

  “Give them the 10th Crossing the Rhine on your bagpipes, just not to us in here, please.” I saw the looks. “Besides tormenting them, they can identify it, so they will know we are knowledgeable of Earth. Then you can torture them with your love sonnets.”

  “Tell them His Majesty will speak soon, he is finishing his tea,” Aawasa said, as the rest laughed.

  I told Aawasa she would be seen soon. One shock at a time.

  “No video this time. 3,2,1, NASA Earth this is C KotRT RD1 calling, we request high orbit entry data please?”

  “Unidentified craft, we have no record of such a registry. Identify!”

  I told Linda I just knew I’d have something for her to do.

  She got her sword.

  “NASA Earth this is King Jake and the ship is identified as Camelot, Knights of the Round Table, Royal Destroyer #1. We have come to accept the EMM’s unconditional surrender.”

  The guy said, “You believe this shit? Guess I’m Jesus Christ!” Some nervous laughter from around him.

  I told Linda what I wanted and Rodel had an ‘x’ on the Earth map. Linda thought and took the lead.

  “Jesus? That you, my brother? It’s been so long! Can you still walk on water like me?” Linda asked, as a mike fell to the floor. He wasn’t there anymore; he was swimming by some bridge, thousands of miles away in a river called the Euphrates.

  “Aw damn, all these sonuvabitch’s lie, My King. He can’t walk on water; hell, he can barely swim!” They got the message as to his new location. He was picked up.

  The next guy was so sweet with honey it was sickening! I stood and asked for a video link.

  “Um, Linda, we have video, dear.”

  Linda walked into view. “Yup we sure do, my husband.” She waved and moved out of the picture.

  “NASA Earth, you know why we are here?” I demanded.

  The guy started to say something and Aawasa said, “Someone down there find a female speaker? That buffoon is sickening, we find him offensive.” You could hear my other wives all saying, “Hear, hear.”

  It took a few minutes to find one brave enough to speak. She was young and pretty and had a nice firm voice.

  “Uh, I am Captain Shelly, Brigit Shelly, Sire, How may I help you?” She was shaking, you could just see it, but her voice was rock solid.

  “Ah, finally, someone with brains and beauty, I can relate to that!” Aawasa said. We heard some laughter in Houston.

  “First stand up, please?” I asked.

  She did.

  “Turn around?”

  She did.

  “Why do you hide your beauty behind such despicable clothes?” I asked, baiting the traps to come.

  “It is our way, Sire, we mean no offense.”

  Aawasa said, “I like her,” and smiled her special smile.

  “For now I find it acceptable, but I bet you have a large selection of males in your stable.” A lot of laughter down there as she went beet red.

  I heard, “Vulgar, barbaric,” and a few other comments in the background, and one guy said, “You’re doing good, honey, keep him talking.”

  She gulped as I said, “Don’t worry, we won’t send you swimming, it would mess your hair.”

  I hated to put up a show of being a barbaric, sex starved, super power buffoon, but it was exactly what I needed. I wanted them to grossly underestimate us or we’d be in for a long protracted battle. We didn’t have the time to waste.

  “If you’re not married I have,” I turned and counted…“five wives, I have room for another,” I said.

  She blushed. “No, Sire, I am not married and I truly respect the honor you offer, but I must decline.”

  I said to all the wives, “Smooth, not as good as any of you, but there is hope for Earth yet!” From Earth they just saw me talking to someone off camera.

  Aawasa reminded me with a pout that she was born on Earth as Sylvia.

  “I came to accept NASA Earth’s unconditional surrender, but under advisement of my wives who see it is not all stupid males, like Mars, we have agreed to negotiate with one person and she must have the power to do so. Since we have already tasted your hospitality she will come alone, no video on her ship. We do not want to embarrass her. She can wear a single earpiece to keep voice to you so that you know she is not harmed and a bikini swimsuit. If agreed, I will expect her within twelve hours and with a rank high enough to talk to a king. I think a one star general will be appropriate. A permanent rank, not brevetted. There are plenty of female majors, colonels and generals standing there, but it took a captain with guts to talk. It shows me the cowardice of the rest.” I knew they had female generals, and was willing to bet at least one stood in the background. “If you are too poor, then let me know in pounds of gold what she costs and we will send it back with her…cut.”

  Rodel said, while studying his huge streams of data flowing in from all his links, “Orders are being cut, she is a general, Jake. Probably the first honest one in four or five-hundred years.”

  “Open a channel,” I told Rodel. A different woman was there. I didn’t like her. Too nasal when she talked. When Aawasa and I agreed on someone’s personality it was a 99.9% chance we pegged them correctly. I can’t remember when she got one wrong. She also didn’t like this one.

  “Tell them we are glad someone has wisdom beyond their years. We may yet allow this miserable planet to live,” I said.

  The girl smiled weakly. No spark there.

  “Arrival time?” I asked.

  Someone off camera handed her a clipboard. “Boost in an hour, arrive two hours ten minutes.”

  I thanked her and cut.

  We set up the place; I had it all clean and presentable. Rodel would keep a slow procession of videos up, rose gardens, buildings, galaxies, all soothing things. Time flew.

  “Dock in five minutes, five minutes—” I stopped him. He said, “Spoil sport,” and laughed. “They have a camera in the chute and I pick up magnetic waves from three microphones. Also the ship is full of snoop gear.”

  “Normal,” I said. “Soon as we crack the hatch make it all stop, of course.”

  “Of course,” he said.

  Rodel’s power had increased manyfold since he was a shipboard T/S fold jumper. Latwasa and Linda, over a few lives, built him a few amplifiers that could tap the universal power source used by the swords as well as the swords themselves. Though he was still limited, there were many interesting things he could do now. Things that NASA never dreamed of when they trapped his essence in that bio chip so long ago.

  I had the rest of the wives move to the middle and almost close the doors. Earth hadn’t yet seen my blue demons or Queastra. One shock at a time. I opened the hatch and she stood there, scared as hell. I took her hand and brought her in and closed the hatch. “Sorry, security,” I said. “Rodel full scan please.”

  “Earbud is back wired, Sire. Interesting, something new there, her panties and top are wired with a new thread and each has a thin nano size transmitter. Means she has a bio chip hidden somewhere.”

  “Thank you, Sir,” I said.

  “Your Highness,” Rodel said.

  “Queen Linda, scan please?” Linda took her and from behind she ran her hands from head to toe. As she went over her stomach and vaginal areas, she said, “Not a virgin, one year birth implant, four months left, umm, nope, never pregnant either. No genetic defects, solid DNA code, she is from good stock, most likely Nordic in origin.” She finished the scan, “Oh, she has a fresh bio implant in her butt, left cheek.”

  “Sorry, figured as much,” I said.

  “They said you’d never find…” She looked scared.

  “Well they heard, and now they know they lied to you, and I will deal with them later.”

  “Strip the items off, please.”

  She gave m
e the earbud and took off the swimsuit and was shaking. “Relax, general, I knew they’d be stupid--always are.” Like standing naked aboard an alien spacecraft while some guy ogled her was a relaxing situation.

  Linda had her bend over and using Aawasa’s tanto, she dug out the biochip. The girl cried tears from the pain but made no sound, gritting her teeth hard. Yes, strong.

  Linda handed me the bloody chip. “Need anything from it, Rodel?”

  “Nope, cheap junk.”

  I had Linda back her away from the door and told Rodel, “Turn the camera and mikes back on in the chute.”

  I opened the door and threw all the crap in the chute. I transmitted to Earth, “I find your attempt at deception offensive. If I come down, I guarantee heads will roll!…cut.”

  “Pipe me to the pilot…Pilot, I have taken offense to your people’s attempts at deception. You have thirty seconds to be on your way or that ship and you with it, will be destroyed --30, 29…cut.”

  At eighteen seconds he was full power to anywhere but here.

  “Now, young lady, if you check you will see your pretty butt is fully healed, the couple scars you use to have are also gone. Also your birth control implant no longer functions. Do you understand, or do you also doubt me?”

  “I fully believe every word. They said you were stupid and arrogant and were a sexiest pig,” she said.

  “Well, I admit to the sex starved pig, but a sexist never,” I said.

  “Let us start the formal crap now. I am King Jake at your service.” I bowed and kissed her hand. “Here, put this on. It is all our women wear.”

  I gave her a light brown battledress and panties to wear, my wives dresses never hid much on them, nor now on her. I asked if she was embarrassed.

  “Um, when in Rome,” she said.

  “Do as the Romans do, yes I am very familiar with Earth and its sayings.” I smiled.

  “Rodel, some soft music for our guest.” We were in a rose garden; the breeze wafted their blossomed scent across the room.

  “May I introduce my first wife, Queen Aawasa, the red demon.”

  Aawasa and the rest came from the center and the girl’s hand instinctively went to cover her mouth. “Yes, they are blue Amazons, of Camelot, and the black woman is of our southern tribe. It was all in my book, of course.”

  Aawasa bowed and Brigit bowed back, getting over her initial shock.

  “May I introduce my second wife, Queen Katawasa. Known as the blue demon.” Katawasa bowed and so it went. Queastra, Matawasa, then last, behind her, was Linda. “Linda is called The Bronze Goddess; you met her already.” Linda bowed and the general bowed back.

  “Formalities are over, come sit.” She kept rubbing the silk of her panties. “Real silk. Rare nowadays,” I told her.

  She just nodded as she sat at the table.

  “May Aawasa hold your hands a second?” I asked.

  She nodded again.

  Aawasa took her hands and looked in her eyes and smiled. “Like Sylvia, she has ancient roots, strong ones that go back many generations. Her soul is clear and bright, my husband.”

  “I assure you, we use no drugs or tricks, and all our food is fully digestible by any human,” I said. “I call this tea, it is, but not of your Earth. Later you may switch to real tea or coffee. This is no more than it appears, dried fish, and this is black bread; dunk it, it’s delicious.

  “Rodel, I am sure they have responded. No disturbances until I say. Tell them whatever the hell you want, or show one of your famous clips, or make one up.”

  “Yes, Sire.”

  “My defective computer.” I smiled.

  She forced a smile as it dawned on her she was talking to the legends from the book. She asked and I acknowledged we were one and the same.

  We all sat and had tea and ate; she seemed to like it. Her eyes showed she was tired. “When was the last time you slept? Wait, I forgot—if you lie, or even attempt to lie, they read minds and emotions, and I will kill you. Now you slept last when?”

  “Fifty hours. They gave me some pills, good for another day or so,” she said.

  “No, Linda neutralized them and all other drugs you had in your system.”

  “Ladies, all who wish may of course join us, but this young lady and I shall retire for some needed rest.” I took her hand and she gave me a fearful look, “I did not say sex, I said sleep. I also say what I mean, most of the time. Besides, you were already told to give me any perverted sex I wanted and they would make it up to you later, to save the Earth crap, didn’t they?” I asked.

  She looked around and just nodded.

  “As I said, we know Earth quite well.” It took her awhile, but she couldn’t fight it. We all went to bed. Soon after Rodel started playing his music she was out.

  Aawasa said, “Her soul is sweet and only has minor troubles in this life. She is acceptable as courtesan or wife. She is one of this life’s twelve women.”

  “Okay, you lost me. I thought it was just the same twelve over and over.”

  “No, dear, each life, as your Jesus had twelve apostles you have twelve proud bitches. We do not always know who they are, until, like now, one of us reads their soul. No, you may not marry them all, or even find them all, but they stand ready, if identified, to serve the universe as part of your army. I think we five, counting Matawasa, are permanent, the rest may change, life to life. I haven’t determined Latwasa’s part yet.”

  “Aawasa, give me a break, I only just met the girl!” I said.

  “And in thirty minutes you have her in bed, my husband, what is new?” and she laughed.

  Nine hours later I woke, another five she did. She looked around and remembered where she was.

  “No, you’re not dreaming,” I said. “Is fourteen hours enough, or do you require more?”

  “Fourteen hours?” she said with a start. “Are you people really gods or something?”

  “One of us qualifies, but it is not I, that would be Linda.”

  “That beautiful blond bombshell that the secret films showed with her, um, legs spread, and the Mars general died from a heart attack after viewing? She is a god?” she asked.

  “Well, she is more devil spawn. Designed to be a sex goddess, and I tell the truth, she is very good at it. She can be rude and crude, but we all love her.”

  “I believe you. We have done little but talk about the mind tricks you had to be using against us,” she said.

  “Look, we are barbarians, these women are all known to Earth, the blue ones were once called Amazons, fierce warriors who tried to save Troy from the Greeks.” I opened the doors and she watched them sparring. I closed the door after a few minutes.

  “We think the black one comes from the Australian Aboriginals, or they from her tribe, long ago.”

  “And you?” she asked.

  “I am King Jake of Camelot. Since you say you read the book, I am also known to Earth as Jake Spoonbill of NASA EB MTA. I am retired, well long MIA and presumed KIA, I am sure. I believe I left late January of 2237; been awhile.”

  She was totally shocked.

  “I know, let me explain.” I spent a couple hours telling things that would normally seem impossible. My story finished with the ship being here, and me being struck by her beauty.

  She stared at me a long time, and said, “I was told to do whatever was necessary, but I see nothing is needed. Yet there is something in you that I believe would charm the pants off any girl.”

  “Don’t you see, if that was true then you would be under some magic cloud.

  “It has been one of my missions, assigned by my wives upon my return to Camelot, to spawn children wherever I can. Our tribe’s seed is weak, I have spawned more than 40 children in less than two days.”

  She was shocked in disbelief, but then Linda and Aawasa explained it all. After a bit Aawasa described our so-called family setup. “We are just a fast moving army of women, we protect him. He comes up with all these harebrained ideas and we make them happen. Believe
me the perks are fun and well worth it. All of us are soul linked, it not need be so. We have courtesan contracts, one month to a year, they are all valid and binding under our laws. You may choose or not.”

  “Contracts may be upgraded to wife if all agree, or renewed on a yearly basis until one is bored,” I said. “Might I suggest you think about it for a while, I’m going nowhere soon, Remember, it might be magic I use on you.”

  Katawasa held her hands for a second and nodded approval, backing up Aawasa’s original read, and they went back to their fighting.

  I took her forward and showed her how the shower worked. After she cleaned up I sat her on the white house lawn as I combed her hair. Rodel’s visuals seemed so real at times. By the time I was done the girls were all saying, “Yup, she’s hooked.” They smiled; she did too, but was confused.

  “Rodel, how are we doing in our negotiating?”

  He popped a video up. “We were in a heated battle over the use of nukes; she was arguing so hard her breasts were bouncing with her hand movements and it really looked like they would bounce out of the thin battledress straps.”

  “My God, it, it looks so real!” she said, hand to mouth.

  “Have him show you the pirate clip,” Katawasa snickered. “One of his best.”

  “Come, a decision must be made on a different matter. Ladies, if I may?” I asked.

  They came over one at a time and stared intently in her eyes. Linda said, “I know her soul from long ago, like Doc. I hid with it…a loving soul…and hell, I already did a full body scan.”

  Aawasa said, “She is one of the twelve on the soul list for this life as stated, my husband.”

  “Aawasa has never been wrong. It is your choice, be my wife or courtesan. Wife means no baby, we fight, and according to Aawasa, probably die.”

  “Courtesan means you get me awhile, but as I said, a baby in nine months is a given. They accept you among them if you freely accept sharing me among the other five.”

  “Something in my nature is against fancy named prostitutes. But we also usually only take one man and one wife. Still, some have more, something…” She finally shrugged and asked, “Might I have a wedding and call you husband?” Her eyes darted around.