Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? On the Side: Sword Oratoria, Vol. 6

by Fujino Omori, Kiyotaka Haimura

  “He went to the Dungeon all right. Pushed himself on Finn and my guys on the eighteenth floor, too. Y’think he’s okay? He didn’t up and die down there, did he?”

  “Well, seein’ as our blessing’s still alive and well, I know I’m not worrying…And even then, he’s always seemed like the type you can’t quite kill. Before I know it, he’ll be back, laughin’ all the way. Asfi’s with him, after all.”

  The chienthrope, Lulune, spoke up from her spot by the wall, her voice trembling from hesitation and nervousness. Forced to join them in this meeting, she could only let out a string of strained chuckles as she expressed her (albeit questionable) faith in her patron deity.

  Those in the room were already fully aware of Hermes and company’s unannounced sojourn upon Loki Familia’s base camp down on the eighteenth floor. What they didn’t know was why, despite the rest of the party returning to the surface the day prior, he and the others had chosen to stay behind.

  “Now that you’re here, why don’t we move to the subject at hand?”

  But Loki and the others had gathered for one thing and one thing only—to formulate a plan of attack to deal with the organization threatening their city. Namely, the remnants of the Evils, along with the vibrantly colored monsters and their strange “creature” friends that dwelled underground. It was to fight back against this city destroyer “Enyo,” the mysterious puppet master controlling the strings, that Loki, Dionysus, and Hermes had formed this alliance of theirs in the first place. They had plenty of reasons to sniff them out, too, from a thirst for revenge to debts in need of repayment.

  And now that the core of Loki Familia’s strength had returned from their expedition, the alliance was ready to launch a full-scale attack.

  “Well, whether we agree or not, our next course of action’s already been pretty much decided, yeah? We’ve gotta find it…the second entrance to the Dungeon.”

  Their enemies’ movements left them with only one explanation: Another entrance to the Dungeon besides the one found within Babel Tower.

  There was no doubt that there was a secret passage somewhere—a tunnel that would allow someone to transport monsters to the surface away from the prying eyes of the Guild and its adventurers.

  “You are, of course, correct. But before we get to that…surely you were able to make some progress in your own investigation after your followers’ expedition, yes? They did descend to the Dungeon’s depths, which is where those delightfully colored monsters are known to spawn,” Dionysus pointed out.

  Every eye in the room went to Loki.

  The goddess remained quiet for a moment, narrow eyes widening ever so slightly as she surveyed the reactions of those around her, before she spoke.

  “Seems like there was some sorta fallen spirit. Strong enough to give even my Finn and his crew a run for their money. And from what we can gather, our enemy apparently wants to summon this thing…to the surface.”

  The “her” all the creatures kept referring to was none other than the corrupted spirit.

  A messenger of the gods, devoured time and time again by the monsters of the depths but who continued to live, constantly changing its form. The crystal-orb fetuses were at the core of everything. They were products of “her,” just like the creatures, and they used the viola flowers as arms to collect magic stones in order to evolve into demi-spirits.

  All with the main goal of eventually being summoned to the world above.

  A gargantuan demi-spirit unleashed beneath the open sky, completely decimating the city of Orario—the Dungeon’s “lid.”

  —“I will destroy Orario.”

  That was what Olivas Act had proclaimed down in the pantry on the twenty-fourth floor. His words ran through the minds of Hermes’s and Dionysus’s followers who happened to be present for the current conversation. Lulune’s face paled, and something caught in her throat as the young war tiger’s eyes widened in surprise. Filvis glanced toward her patron deity, too, as she attempted to suppress her own feelings.

  Dionysus brought his hand to his face with a quiet sigh as he digested the hypothetical scenario. He was silent for a moment, then raised his head, glass-like eyes distorting.

  “Then we need to find it posthaste…not only the second entrance but this crystal orb as well,” he said slowly, the weighty timbre of his voice filling the ears of those in the room. The glow from the magic-stone lanterns reflected off the deep-purple wine atop the table, creating a bewitching display of light.

  The other deities’ followers didn’t make a sound. Loki let her chair creak back and forth in a show of bad form as she began to respond.

  “…Yeah, but…why do me ’n’ my guys have to take all the responsibility, huh? You’re givin’ us the hard stuff.”

  “Ha-ha-ha, no worries. Have no fear, for I will lend my aid as well. But there is such a thing as ‘the right man in the right place,’ no?”

  Dionysus replied with a laugh, forgetting his soberingly serious expression when he saw Loki’s eyes that seemed to say, Don’t bullshit me, and he met her half-lidded glare with a flash of sparkling pearly whites.

  The thinly veiled battle between the will of two deities was enough to send a pang through Lulune’s stomach as she thought, Awww I wanna go hooome and tears welled in her eyes. Once again, the war tiger next to her sighed, present only because Lulune herself had tearfully begged him to accompany her.

  Filvis, on the other hand, stood beside her god with her eyes closed, silently watching over the proceedings.

  “…Well, whatever. Too far in to back out now, as the sayin’ goes. Where d’ya think we should start searchin’, huh? I mean, I know we’ll prolly end up havin’ to search everything with a fine-tooth comb, but there’s gotta be someplace that’s especially suspicious for us to start—”

  “—I, erm…About that…Lord Hermes actually, uh, asked us to tell you all something after he came back from his trip…just in case he wasn’t able to make it to this meeting…”

  Lulune suddenly butted in with a nervous raise of her hand.

  Loki’s brows furrowed.

  Not this again…

  But even as the annoyed thought crossed Loki’s mind, Dionysus let out a laugh.

  “I already know what you’re going to say, and don’t worry, Loki. I don’t believe this should be of any concern for you. In fact, you might find yourself pleasantly surprised.”

  “?”

  At Loki’s dubious look, Dionysus’s face hardened.

  “There is, however, something you should be worried about. Loki, I’d like you to leave the search to us. In the meantime, I’d appreciate it if you would take care of another task.”

  That night.

  Around the time dusk began to blanket the sky, a strange commotion was working its way into every nook and cranny of the city.

  News of Loki Familia’s post-expedition feat—Bete’s, Tiona’s, and Tione’s ascent to Level 6—was making the rounds. In their love of frivolity, the gods of Orario hadn’t even waited for the official Guild proclamation, disseminating the news across the entire city at blinding speed.

  “I heard Loki Familia’s on par with Freya Familia and the Warlord now.”

  “I heard they surpassed them.”

  “Well, I heard they’re now the leading familia in all of Orario.”

  The heated debate could be heard in every corner of every bar—arguments over which of Orario’s two leading familias was the strongest. Bards filled the streets with their songs—lyrics touting the feat of those brave first-tier adventurers. The gods naturally made merry with mirthful cries and loud laughter. The news also drew envious reactions from adventurers who could only dream and aspire to such greatness. Exuberant demi-human children ran about the streets in tattered capes and helmets fashioned from pots, pretending to be adventurers.

  Loki Familia was the hot topic in Orario, the first ones to make it to the Dungeon’s fifty-ninth floor since the deities Zeus and Hera had so long ago. Once more, the
blessed light of stars shone down on the city from above, the coveted seats of hero-hood beckoning the next generation of adventurers.

  Gods, adventurers, and citizens alike celebrated the familia’s mighty deeds.

  “Shall we toast, then? To another successful expedition—cheers!!”

  Meanwhile, the familia in question was in the midst of its own celebration at a certain bar where their alcohol-loving patron deity had led them.

  The Benevolent Mistress, to be specific—a little place down on West Main Street.

  Its walls were filled to the brim with noisy patrons as a mighty clang of steins echoed through the air. Aiz raised her glass as well, though more like a skittish animal than anything else, quietly bringing the citrusy juice to her lips.

  “Control yourself, Bete! You’re not getting drunk on my watch!” Riveria directed a warning look toward the werewolf.

  “Hey, I’m always in control!” he shot back in annoyance.

  “Lefiya! Mind if I have that meat you got over there?”

  “O-of course, Miss Tiona! But…that’s your fifth piece already…”

  “The food’s not showing any signs of stopping, so why worry? Ah, could I get a refill of this?”

  Tiona was indulging even more than usual. Tione was helping herself freely to the food and drink as well while Lefiya simply shuddered.

  “Heavens, Finn. We’ve not accounted for this kind of festivity in our budget.”

  “Surely a party won’t break the bank, hmm? And if worse comes to worst, we can always appropriate a bit from Loki’s secret savings.”

  As Gareth mused with a wary eye at all the revelry while nursing his large drink, Finn merely laughed.

  “Hey! I heard that!…And I don’t give a damn! Hey, everyone! Everything’s on me tonight, so go wild!” Loki announced, face already a brilliant red.

  “Yahooo!!” The celebratory cries from Raul and the other familia members practically shook the roof.

  Obeying their goddess’s wishes, they continued to order more—frothy ales and the house’s specialty fruit wines—and drain every cask. The table was lined with colorful vegetables, cheesy quiches, baked fish, and thick steaks. Tiona’s tongue was restless as the waiters brought them out one after another. The waiters themselves, the cat people in particular, could only let out harried mewls as their eyes darted this way and that.

  Loki Familia’s wild celebration was even attracting the attention of other patrons. Customers seated at neighboring tables showed curious astonishment as they watched the group.

  Sensing the attention (and feeling very much like a beautiful flower drawing the interest of the surrounding bees), even the normally impassive Aiz found herself enjoying the party.

  “Miss Aiz, would you like me to get you some food?”

  “It’s fine, really…Thank you, Lefiya.”

  “…Is…something wrong? You look as though you’ve got something on your mind.”

  “?”

  “You were staring off into space…B-but I apologize if my assumption is incorrect!”

  Aiz found herself taken aback by Lefiya’s observation.

  Her mind really had drifted somewhere else.

  A cluster of voices rose up above the others from farther within the room.

  “Syr! Lyu’s back!” “Lyu?!” “What are you girls yapping about? Get back to work!!”

  As the owner and her waitresses shouted back and forth, Aiz’s thoughts, however, were focused on the information she’d received about Bell and his party only a short while ago.

  Earlier, sometime between the start of the celebration and around the time she finished exchanging materials then dropping off her weapon for repair, Aiz had made the rounds, informing the few acquaintances she had outside the familia of her safe return from the expedition. Just as she’d been about to thank Lulune for the portable rations the girl had given her, she’d been updated on Hermes’s and the others’ return. Bell and his party had been with them.

  She still didn’t know why he’d chosen to remain behind on the eighteenth floor and not join the rearguard on their return to the surface, but hearing that he’d made it back was enough to bring her relief. Unfortunately, however, it seemed that something had happened on their return trek, as he’d looked considerably worse for the wear upon appearing from Babel’s entrance.

  Maybe I’ll…check up on him tomorrow…Ah, but I don’t even know where his familia’s home is…

  Her brows furrowed in concern. Tiona’s and everyone’s raucous voices buzzed in her ear as the strange lack of any concrete information on Hestia Familia’s whereabouts weighed upon her mind.

  “Oh, right! Tomorrow we’re gonna make a trip outside the city!” Loki suddenly declared, red-faced and ever so slightly unhinged.

  “Oh? What’s all this out of the blue?”

  Riveria, ever the voice of the whole familia, raised the question as she regarded their goddess suspiciously. Around her, the rest of the familia sported weak smirks and looks of exasperation.

  Loki, however, just smiled complacently as she looked out across her followers.

  “The expedition’s over, yeah? So I thought we could have ourselves a little vacation! You know, some R&R!”

  “Huh? A trip? That sounds fun!” Tiona piped up, only for Bete to immediately shoot her down.

  “You’re not seriously believing her, are you? Idiot…”

  “What’d you call me?!”

  The Amazon snapped back angrily, but it was just as the werewolf had said—Loki’s explanation was hard for any of them to swallow. While this wouldn’t be the first time their patron deity had made a similarly offhand proclamation, whenever she did, it usually signified something was about to happen.

  This time, too, everyone was already bracing themselves for whatever it was the trickster goddess was planning. Finn, on the other hand, simply smiled, as if already aware of her true motives.

  “Where in blazes are we goin’?” Gareth finally popped the question.

  “Well…I’m not gonna go into too much detail here, but…” Loki prefaced with an upward quirk of her lips. “Let’s just say it’s right outside the city. Port Meren, to be exact.”

  CHAPTER 2

  PORT MEREN

  Meren was a port city to the southwest of Orario.

  With only about three kirlo between the two, it was no more than a hop, skip, and a jump from one city to the other. It served as Orario’s portal to the sea due to its proximity to the banks of Lolog Lake, a large brackish body of water that led to the ocean.

  Day after day, countless ships from countries all over the world made port in the city’s harbor, dropping off their hefty loads of cargo. The majority of the goods would be further transported into Orario as imports. In fact, just about everything that eventually made its way to Orario’s marketplaces was first gathered together in Meren. The sea route’s ability to transport large quantities of goods was one of its key advantages, and Orario, too, was no stranger to using it for its own exports. The city had long made use of the port as its go-between for exchanging its world-renowned magic-stone goods for foreign imports.

  Needless to say, Port Meren was an important point in Orario’s oceanic ventures.

  “Wa-hah! I haven’t been here in forever!”

  Just as Loki had informed them the night prior, Aiz and the others of Loki Familia had made their way to the port city. Tiona cried out boisterously from the middle of the great sloping street connecting the port with the bay. Though Aiz didn’t react as drastically, she also found herself rather in awe when looking past the crowds of people at the vast lake and countless ships moored there.

  “Seriously. How many years has it been?”

  A smile appeared on Tione’s face as she checked out the port.

  “I don’t think I’ve been here since before I even started heading into the Dungeon!” Tiona responded with a happy laugh.

  Much like how many goods made their way through the port city, quite
a few people bound for Orario did as well. Those already on the continent could make their way to the Labyrinth City by traveling along its northern and eastern roads, but travelers from the Far East or various island and ocean nations first needed to pass through Meren. Tiona and Tione had made that very trip many years ago.

  Only Aiz and a few others found themselves entranced by the surrounding scenery. Most of the group reacted similarly to Tiona and Tione—with a sort of nostalgic excitement.

  “Check out this huge dodobass! I know they sell ’em in the city, too, but I’ve never seen one this big!” Tiona’s eager shouts continued as she spotted a gargantuan fish on display in one of the nearby shops. This one boasted a length of well over one meder.

  “It seems fish undergo the same development as monsters…”

  True to Lefiya’s words, the fish’s enormous warped scales certainly did make it look more like a monster than a fish. Most likely, it had evolved as such to ensure it didn’t become prey to those same monsters. Dodobass weren’t the only sea creatures available, either—shrimp, crab, and a whole assortment of other seafood could be seen for sale in shops, most so fresh they were still alive (something unseen outside of port cities).

  The road lined with stone buildings was bustling with activity as foreigners, merchants, and fishermen milled about. Off to the side of the road were carpets laid out with rare fineries and tents lined with fish, snails, and other fresh seafood, all of them filled with the haggling voices of prospective buyers. This small snapshot of Meren—the bazaar-like atmosphere, the tanned skin of the fishermen and merchants, and the salty aroma wafting in on the breeze—was enough to make it clear that this was truly a seaside city.

  “You came through here when you got to Orario, too, right, Lefiya?”

  “I did, yes. Back when I was a student, my friends and I would come to this port often.”

  “Really? Then you know any good restaurants? You gotta take us to one!”