Concealed Affliction

Ryder has done his best to break my armor. It’s been a slow process but he’s reminded me what it’s like to feel again. I could never thank him enough for the toe curling and life altering experiences. He’s been my light in a hurricane-but even I know the sun can’t shine all the time. I have a big decision to make and it’s not as simple as just going left or right, forward or backward.

I’ve heard people say that when we hit a crossroad in life, the only difference is that one way is longer than the other. (Believe me when I say that these people are full of shit-don’t listen to them.) I’ve hit every fucking intersection from Canada to the USofA and no matter what direction I take, the distance is always the same. The reason for this is because it’s not about the distance, it’s about the outcome of the journey.

This journey of mine only leaves me two choices and neither satisfy me. Do I continue on my path towards retribution for my family? Or do I focus on the first man to crack my ice cold heart? He’s the only man who has ever made me feel safe at night; the first to truly accept all of me- scars included.

I’m at a crossroad and no matter which way I turn, I’m fucked.

Ryder or retribution?

This life of mine isn’t a fairytale- I know I can’t have both.