Spaced Out
Page 13
“What’s going on?” His eyes are as unforgiving as they were only a moment before. I don’t know what changed between us, except that I have feelings for Kelton instead of him. He hasn’t been mad at me like this before, so I feel like it’s something different.
I hear three knocks that actually sound more like scratches, and I limp to the other side of the room. “What are we going to do?” My voice sounds panicked.
“First, tell me what’s going on,” he demands.
“After you left, I started talking to them, but they weren’t themselves,” I begin. “They had deep black pits for eyes, and they remind me of zombies. All I know is they aren’t Kyle, Kelton, and my father anymore.” He stares at me for a while, not saying anything. Then he finally speaks.
“They were eating the bread. Maybe that has something to do with it,” he says.
“How is that supposed to work? You were eating the bread too, and you aren’t a zombie right now,” I say.
“Maybe the poison was in the crust. I don’t eat the crust, remember? Or maybe you forgot while you went googly eyes for Kelton.” His fiery tone is back.
“Daniel, this is not the time,” I say with a sigh. “We can discuss my feelings for Kelton later. Right now, we need to figure out how to turn them back.”
“We,” he asks, not missing my use of the pronoun. “Why should I help you?”
“Do you not remember what we were before we came here? Let me remind you,” I say, annoyance flooding my voice. “We were best friends, who told each other everything and didn’t keep secrets. Before that night on the platform, when you asked me to marry you, you never made any indication that you loved me or saw a future with me besides as flying partners. Your proposal came out of nowhere. You can’t go from loving me like a best friend to loving me more than that. Not without some kind of warning, or heads-up. I am allowed to love whoever I choose, and nothing is going to stop me!” Arguing is not something I want to do right now, but I feel like I have no choice. He walks across the room but stops just before he runs into me.
He presses his forehead against mine, and I can feel his breath on my nose. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “You’re right. I should have given some indication to you before I asked you to marry me. It was sudden, and I’m sorry.” His hands find my cheeks, and for a moment I think he might kiss me. My heart starts racing. Before I can think of what to do, he pulls away, his eyes closed. He looks relaxed, in a tense sort of way. “How do you plan to turn them back?” I realize he’s talking about the three maniacs outside his door.
“I thought you’d never ask,” I say.
I find the pillowcase on his bed and fill it with two shirts and three pairs of pants, enough to make the pillowcase a nonlethal weapon. On the count of three, I open the door, and Daniel runs out with the pillowcase in his hand. He swings it over his head, hard, and knocks Kyle back, causing him to fall to the ground and hit his head. I wince. Kelton and my father still claw at Daniel and the pillowcase.
As Daniel distracts them, I run to Kelton’s room and find his gun, which is positioned next to his bed. I limp back into the hallway and fire the gun once in the air. Kelton and my father look at me and then slowly walk toward me. Once they get in reach, I swing the gun at their jaws, knocking them off balance enough to make them fall to the ground, both out cold.
Hopefully it doesn’t hurt, I think before turning my attention to Daniel. He smiles, and I return the favor. It’s nice to have my best friend back.
Kyle is the first one to come back. His irises have turned back to their light blue shade, and he blinks at me a couple of times. Kelton and my father come back a few minutes later.
“How long have I been out?” My father rubs his jaw and stares at the ground.
“About an hour,” I say, pretending to glance at my invisible watch.
He doesn’t say anything and just continues to rub his jaw.
I walk down the hall and back toward where the table with the bread was at. The bread is gone, and five glasses of water replace it. I’m tired of being tricked. My hands find the edge of the table, curl underneath, and with as much strength as possible, I flip the table and the glasses over. The glasses crash to the ground but don’t break. I hear footsteps behind me and turn around to find Daniel standing, arms at his sides, scowling.
“What?” My voice sounds distant and accusing. He just stares at me.
“What makes you think you can flip over tables? Someone could hear you and send guards or something,” he says finally.
“I’m tired of living in fear all the time. Let them come, we have guns,” I say nonchalantly.
“You can get killed on your own terms,” he says to me. “But don’t bring the rest of us down with you. We have lives worth living, so don’t take that away.”
“Excuse me,” I demand. “You have a life worth living and I don’t?” I’m furious now. He gives me an exasperated sigh and an eye roll before finally speaking.
“That’s not what I meant,” he begins. “I’m saying that some of us would like to live long lives, and you’re putting us in danger. Don’t you want to keep them safe?” He gestures to my father, Kyle, and Kelton.
“You aren’t the boss of me,” I retort. “I will protect them when the time comes, but that isn’t right now. If you want to keep them safe, I suggest you let me get my anger out over here and not by them.” I kick the table one last time and rush past Daniel, bumping into his arm on the way. Oh well, I think. He deserved it.
I sit down next to Kelton. He’s fiddling with one of his shoe laces. My hand finds his, and he winces slightly. I look from him to our hands intertwined and take a deep breath.
“Can I talk to you?” My voice is barely above a whisper.
“Sure. What’s up?” His eyes move from our hands to my eyes, and I feel my face turn red.
“Not now. Tonight. After everyone is asleep,” I say, turning my head to look at the gray wall behind me. He nods.
“By the way, thanks for saving me. From whatever I was. I don’t know what happened. One minute I was eating a slice of bread, and the next everything was black. If something moved, blue or pink dots moved in sync with the object. It was like something or someone was controlling me, and I couldn’t stop myself. Somehow I knew it was you, but I couldn’t talk, couldn’t do anything but pursue whatever moved. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks.” He smiles at me, and my face goes red again, but I smile back.
“Well,” I barely squeak out, “You saved my life too. On the platform. I never thanked you for that.”
“You mean when you jumped?” He almost starts laughing. “I saw the rope tied around your waist. I knew you would be fine. I went after you because I knew that’s what you wanted. Besides, I thought it would be kind of fun. You know you aren’t that good with hiding your feelings, right?”
I feel like a tomato, my face is so red. “Whatever,” I say, trying to laugh it off. “You’re such a dork.” He grins, flashing his perfect white teeth. I stand up and walk to my room. I sit on the bed and ease myself until my head hits the pillow. My eyelids feel too heavy, and I fall asleep before I can talk myself out of a nap.
Kelton wakes me a minute later, or so I think. He tells me that I’ve been asleep for six hours, but I still feel groggy. He sits on the chair across from me, and I sit up, which I find to not hurt as much anymore.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” The dim glow of the room makes it hard to see him, so I have to squint to adjust.
“I wanted to hear your side of the story before and after Daniel jumped,” I say directly.
“Didn’t he already explain what happened?” he asks with a slight tone of accusation.
“Yes, but I wanted to know your side. There are two sides to every story, you know.”
“Well,” he begins, sounding slightly irritated. “At first, we were fighting. We were arguing over you. He claimed that he had known you longer and you had already said yes to his proposal. I decided t
hat we should just let you choose, but he didn’t like that idea. He said he knew you were going to choose me, but I wasn’t sure. Eventually, he pushed me off the platform and told me not to come back. I barely got a hold of the rope, and I have burn marks on my hands, but I’ll be alright.”
I take his hands in mine again but turn them over to look at the marks. Nothing. No marks, not even a hint of redness or irritation.
“They must have healed,” he says quickly. He pulls his hands away from me, casually, but suspicion seeps into me.
“So what happened next?” My voice sounds strained and distant. I choke through my words.
“I wandered around the cages, waiting for you,” he says. “I was hoping you would see me and, I don’t know, come looking for me. Instead, Daniel came and apologized. I didn’t care, but I listened to him anyway. I’m glad I did, because he said he was going to pretend to jump out the window, and if I built a platform below, he would leave all of us alone. He wanted to go and live his life somewhere else, with someone else. He didn’t tell me who.”
My eyes widen at the last sentence. Has Daniel been in love with someone else this whole time? Who could she be? My mind is still racing when I remember her. The girl from the Vulcona landing pad office. She had long brown, wavy hair and was about our age. I remember her hand on top of his when we were waiting in the office on the landing pad. She looked familiar, and Daniel seemed to know who she was. He didn’t seem to mind her hand on top of his. Why did I never think of this? That there are other girls in the galaxy and he might not love me the way he does someone else. But how do you explain his proposal to me? Fighting with Kelton for me? Was it all just an act?
“Did Daniel tell you that? That he wanted to go live his life with someone, somewhere else?”
“Yes,” he says. “He told me that he wanted to leave, but he needed my help. So I helped him. Things were going just fine. I was about to come up to the platform again, but these two guards found us. They were both taller and stronger than us, and they had guns. We fistfought for a bit before they pulled out their revolvers and threatened to shoot us. Daniel gave in, but I couldn’t because I knew where they were going to take us if we did.”
I’m shaking my head now. I can’t believe this happened, and all I did was sit there and grieve over Daniel jumping. Kelton still has a scar from the Torturing Room across his left cheek. My bullet wound hardly seems worth the complaining.
He clears his throat. “That’s my side of the story. I don’t know what Daniel said, but I wouldn’t lie to you.” He stares at me, but all I can do is let the tears stream down my cheeks. I don’t know why I’m crying, but it feels nice to let some of the pain in my chest dissolve.
“Thank you,” I whisper through tears. He stands up but doesn’t leave. Instead, he sits down next to me and puts his arm around my shoulders. It makes me think of a brother or a friend trying to comfort when the pain seems unbearable. I relax and breathe deeper, trying to calm and steady my tears.
I fall asleep a few minutes later, my head against his shoulder. But when I wake up, he’s gone, and the chair is back in the corner of the room. I slip on my shoes and walk down the hall toward the bathroom. I need a shower, and something tells me we’re going to head back to the platform soon. Two neatly folded towels rest on the counter by the sink. I bring the top towel and a bar of soap over to the shower area. A small nozzle hangs a foot above my head, and I turn the faucet over to the middle left. The water runs out in a steady stream, but it makes my wound ache.
I stay in the warm water long after I’m done washing myself. It feels nice and relaxing, seeing all the dirt and grime leave my skin. Eventually I hear Kyle come into the bathroom, and I turn off the water and slip a shirt over my head. The shirt falls just above my knees, and the pants are a size too big. I scrub my dirt-covered shoes in the sink until the water is a light shade of brown. I forgot my shoes were a dark shade of blue.
Daniel walks into the bathroom, towel wrapped around his arm. He glances my way, his eyes pleading with me. I look back to my shoes, scoop them up, and walk out of the room. If he wants to talk, he better learn to try harder. My room is warmer than it was last night, and the heat overwhelms me. I decide that wandering around aimlessly is the best option I have at the moment.
The table at the end of the hall that contained the poisonous bread has been removed. That’s probably a good thing, because I might have kicked it again if it was still there. I need to get my anger out on something. Ever since last night’s conversation with Kelton, my mind has been in a blur. I have to talk to Daniel, but I can’t bring myself to do so. He’s right, I think. Our lives would be much easier if Kelton wasn’t here, but they might also be full of lies and dread. Who is Daniel going to choose, me or that other girl at the landing pad? I realize then that I’m not the one who has the impossible decision, he is. Daniel. The person I fell in love with all those years ago. Maybe it’s okay that Kelton is here. If he wasn’t, would Daniel feel obligated to marry me? Or would he break my heart and marry that girl at the landing pad instead?
Someone taps my shoulder. I turn around, half expecting Kyle or Kelton to be standing there, teasing me. Instead, Daniel stands in front of me, his hair wet from the shower. I fold my arms, trying to look as annoyed as possible, so maybe he will take me seriously and tell me the truth.
“How was your shower?” My voice comes out sharper than I intended, but I don’t care anymore.
“The water was cold, and Kyle stole my towel, but thanks for asking.” He uses the same tone I use, which irritates me more than I like.
“Remind me to thank Kyle later,” I say coldly.
“Whatever,” he says back.
I roll my eyes. “Did you need something?”
“I was going to ask what you and Kelton talked about last night,” he says.
“Oh, so now you’re interested,” I say, annoyed. Daniel only crosses his arms. I sigh. “I wanted to hear his side of the story before and after you jumped. He told me everything, including the real reason why you thought you were doing me a favor by pretending to take your own life.”
“And what is that reason?” He’s taunting me.
“There was someone else you wanted to be with besides me. You didn’t know how to tell me so I wouldn’t be hurt, so you decided that jumping out of a window was the best way to do it.” I’m guessing at that last part, but I figure it’s true.
His eyes open wider, like I wasn’t supposed to know that. Then he squints at something over my shoulder briefly before turning back to me. “How do you know Kelton isn’t lying?”
“Is he?” I retort.
“Well… no… not exactly. But you don’t know all of the details.”
“Enlighten me.” I sound bored, even though my body is screaming on the inside.
He sighs, realizing there is no way to get out of telling me the truth. “You’re right, Kelton’s right. There is someone else I would not rather be with, but I know her better. Her name is Callie Raymond. We used to go to school together, and then we were sent on a mission together. We were really good friends until she was moved to a different division. That’s when I met you. I told Callie about you, and she said she hoped she could meet you sometime. We almost had the chance on the landing pad here, but I told her that it wasn’t a good time.”
“Why did you tell her that?”
“Well, I asked her what she thought of me, and she said she loved me. I didn’t want to make things awkward between you and me, so I thought that if I could escape, fake my death, then it would save you the heartbreak.” He says it like it should be obvious.
“That doesn’t explain why you proposed to me, fought with Kelton over me, and then pushed him off the platform!” I’m so enraged I want to hit something.
“I love you! That’s why I did those things,” he cries. “Callie told me she loved me, not the other way around. I liked her enough that if things didn’t work out between us, I would still have her.”
“You’re right. I-”
“Of course I’m right,” I interrupt. “I’m the one getting hurt, which I know doesn’t mean I’m right, but it certainly doesn’t mean you are either. Now leave me alone! I don’t ever want to see you again.” At that, his jaw tenses, and he stands up a little straighter.
“Fine,” he says. “If you want it that way. I tried, so don’t come running back. This is what you want, not me.”
“This is exactly what you wanted,” I scream. “I’m sure you’re glad that things didn’t work out, otherwise you would have had to marry me, and love me, but something would always be missing. Don’t you understand, you’ve crushed me, my life. I was exhilarated when you asked me to marry you. You don’t understand the agony I’ve been through.”
“What about Kelton? Is he not enough for you?” His voice is thick with irritation.
“This is not about him! This is about us. Why can’t you understand that?” I’m crying now, my voice dripping with dejection. Why doesn’t he understand what’s going on?
“You didn’t answer my question,” he says calmly.
“You didn’t answer mine,” I say idly.
“I understand that this is about us only,” he begins. “There has never been anyone else.”
“Then how do you explain Callie?” I demand.
“I don’t love her! I never have,” he screams.
“Yeah, sure, whatever,” I say with casual sarcasm. “How do you explain the looks you gave each other at the landing pad or her hand constantly on yours? I’m sure there have been plenty of other things too that I haven’t been around for. Please, just tell me the truth.” I’m tired of arguing with him, and my tone gives that away. I wish he would understand my side of the story.