The Doctor's Engagement

by Sarah Morgan

  She waited outside Mark’s consulting room until his patient left and then she slipped in, her cheeks colouring slightly as her eyes scanned his broad shoulders.

  Damn. Would she ever be able to see him as her friend again? After last night the answer was undoubtedly no.

  ‘I’ve done Mr Fox’s ECG.’

  He gave a nod and reached out a hand. ‘And?’

  ‘My cardiology is a little rusty,’ she admitted, passing him the trace. ‘But it doesn’t look healthy. ‘The p-wave doesn’t seem related to the rest of the complex somehow.’

  Mark frowned down at the trace, following it carefully with the blunt end of his pencil. ‘He’s got third-degree heart block,’ he muttered, shaking his head slightly in disbelief.

  ‘What does that mean?’

  ‘That means,’ Mark replied slowly, ‘that there is no electrical communication between the atria and the ventricles.’

  Holly stared. ‘But that would make him dead.’

  ‘No. Not necessarily.’ Mark shook his head. ‘In his case ventricular activity is stimulated by an independent focus arising within the ventricles. It’s an escape rhythm and it produces abnormal wide complexes on the ECG—look.’

  Holly leaned forward, frowning slightly as he explained the ECG trace. ‘I can’t understand why he hasn’t collapsed.’

  ‘He did collapse,’ Mark reminded her grimly, ‘but on this occasion he was lucky. Now we need to treat it. Urgently.’

  He picked up the phone and dialled the hospital, talking quickly to one of the cardiology team while she hovered.

  ‘OK.’ He replaced the phone and let out a long breath. ‘I’m going to give him some atropine here and transfer him to hospital. They’re going to have an infusion of isoprenaline ready.’

  ‘And then what?’

  Mark shrugged. ‘He’ll almost certainly need a permanent pacemaker, but they’ll assess that when he arrives. Do you want to send him back to me and then arrange an ambulance?’

  Holly asked Tina to arrange for an ambulance and returned to Mr Fox, taking him back to Mark, staying close while Mark explained the seriousness of the condition.

  Then she went back to her own list of patients which had grown in her absence.

  By the time she’d seen the last of them it was well into lunchtime and she slipped quickly into the staffroom to make herself a cup of coffee.

  ‘What a morning.’ Tina was lounging in one of the armchairs, her eyes closed, and Ian was munching his way through a packet of sandwiches. ‘I’d swear that some people come on holiday just to get a second opinion from another doctor. How can so many tourists develop ailments the minute they arrive here?’

  Ian laughed and tossed his sandwich wrapper in the bin. ‘It does seem to have been unusually busy. Is it your turn to do the lifestyle clinic tonight, Holly?’

  Holly nodded and settled herself in one of the chairs, relaxing slightly now that she realised that there was no sign of Mark.

  ‘Has anyone heard anything of Jack Finn?’ she asked, taking a sip of coffee and then wincing as she burnt her tongue.

  ‘I popped in on him last night actually,’ Ian told her. ‘The cardiologists are very pleased with him.’

  ‘That’s good.’ Holly took another sip of coffee and then spilt a large portion as Mark strode into the room.

  ‘What a morning.’ He looked tense and harassed, fine lines of tiredness around his dark eyes. But, then, he hadn’t had any sleep last night either, Holly reminded herself, springing to her feet and fetching a cloth to mop up her coffee.

  Blushing self-consciously she dabbed at the mess on the carpet, casting an apologetic look at Ian who was watching her thoughtfully.

  ‘Sorry. Not concentrating,’ she mumbled, putting the cloth back on the draining board and making for the door. ‘I need to get on. See you later.’

  Ian frowned. ‘Holly...’

  But she slipped quickly away, pretending not to have heard him, too agitated by Mark’s presence to stay in the same room as him a moment longer.

  Her afternoon vaccination clinic seemed to drag and the children were more fractious than usual.

  ‘It’s the heat,’ Caroline murmured, dishing out sweets to a howling four-year-old who’d just been given her pre-school booster. ‘It’s making us all cross.’

  Only Caroline didn’t seem cross at all, and Holly realised that she hadn’t given Greg’s whereabouts a thought.

  ‘Did you have a nice evening?’ She took advantage of a break in the stream of babies to ask Caroline about her date.

  ‘Perfect.’ Caroline gave her a soft smile that left no room for doubt. ‘Greg’s fantastic. He came back to my place last night. I suppose we should have called you—did you wonder where he was?’

  ‘No.’ Holly managed a wan smile. ‘We guessed.’

  ‘I owe you an apology, Holly,’ Caroline said quietly. ‘I was less than welcoming when you arrived and you were so nice to me. I’m really sorry.’

  Holly shifted uncomfortably. ‘There’s nothing to apologise for.’

  ‘Yes, there is.’ Caroline touched her arm gently. ‘When I think about how I behaved, I’m so ashamed. My only excuse is that I was still in such a state after what happened to me that I wasn’t thinking straight. I just had this stupid thing for Mark, but it wasn’t real—it didn’t mean anything. I know that now.’

  ‘It really doesn’t matter,’ Holly said hastily, but Caroline was determined to have her say.

  ‘I suppose you must be used to women thinking they’re in love with him.’

  ‘Yes, I am,’ Holly said, her smile wry and slightly sad. ‘It happens to us all at some time or another, I’m afraid.’

  ‘But you’re the lucky one,’ Caroline said. ‘You’re the one he loves.’

  If only. Holly forced a smile and changed the subject neatly. ‘So what’s happening with you and Greg now?’

  ‘He’s going to move in with me until his house is fixed,’ Caroline told her, checking through the list to see how many more children were still due to be immunised. ‘He’s going to tell Mark today.’

  Which meant that she could have her room back until it was time to leave, Holly thought dully. So why didn’t that thought fill her with delight? After last night she should be relieved to be able to have her own space. But the truth was that she was horrified by what had happened between them—by how fast their relationship seemed to have deteriorated. Twenty-four years of close friendship seemed to have vanished in one night of passion.

  It was her fault, of course. She’d seduced him. Tempted him to do something he hadn’t actually wanted to do. So it was up to her to mend it.

  She closed her eyes briefly and resolved to do so that evening.

  The lifestyle clinic was busier than ever, and several of the patients had heard about Jack Finn and wanted reassurance. In the end Ian sat everyone down and they had a question and answer session, with everyone voicing their anxieties and the whole health care team trying to deal with the problems that arose.

  Holly and Samantha sorted through the recipes some of the women had brought and Tina agreed to type them up and make them into a little book to distribute in the surgery.

  After the clinic Holly made her way home and was surprised to find that Mark still wasn’t home. She made a light supper and laid the table on the deck, but it was almost ten o’clock when she heard his key in the door.

  Bracing herself for a painful conversation, she walked into the sitting room to meet him, noticing how his shoulders stiffened warily when he saw her. What was he afraid of? That she was going to throw herself at him again? Had she really done that to their friendship? Was this really the same man who used to be so comfortable with her?

  ‘I wanted to talk to you,’ Holly said softly, holding out a glass of wine that she’d poured earlier.

  He hesitated for a long moment and then took the wine from her, his expression guarded. ‘What about?’

  Holly took a deep breath. ‘I’m
so sorry about what happened—’

  ‘Yes.’ His lips were set in a grim line. ‘You made that plain enough this morning.’

  She bit her lip, determined to continue. ‘I didn’t mean everything I said this morning.’

  He went completely still. ‘Which bit of what you said this morning?’ His eyes were fixed on her face. ‘Which bit didn’t you mean?’

  ‘The bit about not wanting to hear about the woman you love,’ she said, forcing a smile and trying to look as if she was dying to hear the details. ‘You said that you wanted to be honest.’

  For a moment he stared at her and then he shook his head slowly as if he was trying to understand. ‘You want to hear about the woman I’m in love with?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said firmly, taking a huge slug of wine to give her confidence.

  He walked past her onto the deck and stared at the boats moving smoothly along the estuary.

  ‘Why?’

  His question threw her. ‘Well, because I’m your best friend. I—I’m interested. And you want to talk about it.’

  There was a long silence. ‘No, I don’t. Not any more.’

  ‘You did this morning.’

  ‘There were lots of things I wanted to talk about this morning,’ he said quietly.

  She’d never seen him like this before. Remote and untouchable. ‘But, Mark—’

  ‘Forget it, Holly.’ He kept his back to her, his broad shoulders rigid with tension.

  ‘But this morning—’

  ‘I just want to forget this morning,’ he muttered, draining his wine in one mouthful. ‘Drop the subject.’

  Holly stared at him, feeling as though part of her was dying inside. She just couldn’t seem to reach him. He just wasn’t her Mark any more.

  ‘What’s happened to us, Mark?’ Her voice was softly questioning, slightly desperate. ‘Can we ever have the same relationship that we had before—?’

  ‘Before we “had sex”, you mean?’ His short laugh made her flinch and she took a step backwards as he moved towards her. ‘I don’t know, Holly. Frankly, I don’t think so.’

  She stared at him numbly.

  So that was that.

  She’d spoiled everything.

  Determined not to cry in front of him, she swallowed down the lump in her throat and wished that she’d never, ever forced him to make love to her. If she hadn’t done that then nothing would have changed between them and they’d still be friends. As it was, by trying to have everything for just one night she’d lost everything for ever.

  CHAPTER TEN

  ‘LETTER for you Holly.’ Caroline handed her a typed envelope and Holly slipped it in her pocket with a quick smile.

  ‘Thanks.’ She could guess what it was—a response to her application for a practice nurse job several hours’ drive along the coast in Dorset. She’d used the practice address instead of Mark’s home because she didn’t want him picking up her mail. Not that he was likely to try and stop her, she thought, walking slowly towards her treatment room.

  It had been several weeks since their night together and he was still avoiding her like the plague. Whenever she entered a room, he left it; he was doing extra on-call to avoid being in the house and he’d nearly always left for work by the time she emerged from her room in the mornings.

  Their friendship was in tatters and the knowledge made her ache deep inside. In the past twenty-four years she and Mark had never seriously fallen out about anything—until now.

  Closing her door behind her, she pulled the letter open and read it carefully, her heart heavy as she saw that they were offering her an interview a few days later. She ought to be pleased, but all she could think of was that she’d be leaving Mark. She stared at the letter and took a deep breath. What choice did she have? Mark didn’t need her as his fake fiancée and he didn’t seem to need her as a friend any more either.

  Without giving herself a chance to change her mind, she dialled through to Ian and asked for the following Thursday off, and then asked Caroline to reallocate her patients for that day. Neither of them asked for an explanation and she didn’t offer one. She needed to sort this out for herself.

  Tucking the letter back in her pocket, she called Anna Watts, who was her first patient.

  ‘You look so much better!’ Brushing aside her problems, Holly’s smile was genuine as she gestured for the young woman to sit down. ‘And Harry looks cheerful, too.’

  ‘He’s turned over a new leaf,’ Anna told her, dropping her changing bag and all the baby paraphernalia onto the floor. ‘No more screaming at night, and he sleeps all the way through. I feel like a new person frankly.’

  ‘They do say that colic sometimes resolves itself at three months,’ Holly commented, picking up a toy and playing peek-a-boo with a beaming Harry. ‘He seems very happy now. A different baby.’

  ‘I can’t believe how much better I feel.’

  Noticing the subtle application of make-up and the newly washed hair, Holly had no trouble believing her.

  ‘Have you been seeing Dr Logan regularly?’

  Anna nodded. ‘He wants me to carry on taking the antidepressants for now,’ she said, reaching into her bag for a cloth to wipe Harry’s nose, ‘but after another month or so we’re going to review it.’

  ‘And how are things with your husband?’

  ‘Great.’ Anna blushed gently. ‘We managed—you know—and it was fine, and he’s just been offered another job so everything seems to be coming together.’

  ‘That’s really great news.’ Holly was genuinely pleased. ‘So what can I do for you today?’

  ‘Well, Harry missed his second immunisation because he had a cold and I didn’t want to bring him...’ Anna shifted him on her lap ‘...so I wondered if you’d do him today?’

  ‘Of course, although for future reference a cold doesn’t usually mean that he can’t have his injection.’ Holly called up the notes and then went to the vaccine fridge to find the correct vaccines. ‘He has exactly the same as last time, Anna. Diphtheria, tetanus, whooping cough, polio, meningitis C and Hib. And then the same again at four months.’

  Anna pulled a face. ‘It seems like such a lot for a small baby—I’ve read that some people are worried about a young baby’s immune system being battered by so many vaccines at once.’

  ‘Well, a baby’s immune system is tested every time he goes out of the house,’ Holly pointed out gently, ‘and when he’s in the house as well, when you think about it. Babies are constantly bombarded by germs. At the moment there’s no medical evidence to suggest that having the vaccinations together overloads the immune system. And, of course, without the immunisations, they’re at risk of catching the disease.’

  Anna gave a groan and bit her lip. ‘I know. It feels like such an enormous decision. I’ll be glad when they’re all finished. It’s just one more lot, isn’t it?’

  ‘That’s right,’ Holly gave the injections quickly and popped the polio drops into Harry’s mouth. ‘Then he has his MMR between thirteen and fifteen months.’

  ‘Oh, well, I’m not worrying about that one now,’ Anna said, rolling her eyes as she patted and soothed the disgruntled baby. ‘There. All over now.’

  Holly asked Anna to stay in the waiting room for five minutes in case Harry had an adverse reaction to the injections and called her next patient.

  ‘Helen!’ She smiled, surprised and pleased to see the little girl she’d met on her first day at the practice. But one glance told her that the girl was feeling poorly. ‘What’s been happening to you?’

  ‘She’s been complaining of terrible earache and her temperature is up in the roof.’ Alison Brown ushered the little girl into the room and onto the nearest chair. ‘The receptionists told me that the doctors are really busy this morning so I asked to see you. I hope that’s OK.’

  ‘That’s fine,’ Holly assured her, picking up an auriscope. She’d been trained to examine ears so she was more than confident to perform the task herself. ‘I’ll just have a q
uick look at her and then if necessary I can interrupt one of the doctors. Does she often have ear infections?’

  ‘Hardly ever.’ Alison screwed up her face and racked her brains. ‘Once, I think, when she was two.’

  ‘OK.’ Holly crouched down and gave the little girl a soft smile. ‘You poor thing. Earache is awful, I know! I used to have it when I was tiny. Will you let me look in your ear, Helen? I promised to be very gentle.’

  The little girl sniffed and cuddled against her mother, giving Holly perfect access to her ear. Knowing that she wouldn’t be given the opportunity for a leisurely examination, she worked as quickly as possible, wincing slightly as she saw the bulging eardrum. No wonder the child was in pain.

  ‘It’s very red, Mrs Brown,’ she murmured, popping the auriscope back onto the tray. ‘That’s definitely the problem.’

  ‘Oh, dear.’ Alison looked guilty. ‘She’s had it for a few days but I was hoping it would clear up by itself. Should I have brought her down sooner?’

  ‘No, not really.’ Holly entered the results of her examination into the computer and then paused to give Alison her full attention. ‘Most cases of otitis media—that’s the medical name for an ear infection—are mild and will resolve on their own with just some pain relief. Unfortunately a small number don’t resolve on their own, and those cases need to be given antibiotics. What normally happens in this practice is that in a child of Helen’s age, with her symptoms, they advise you to use Calpol for the first two days to see if it resolves by itself.’

  Alison pulled a face. ‘She’s been complaining for a couple of days already.’

  Holly nodded. ‘So what we need to do is give her a short course of antibiotics. I’ll just see if one of the doctors is free.’

  After asking Tina, she was hugely relieved that it was Ian who strode into the room a few minutes later and not Mark.

  ‘What can I do for you?’ He smiled at her with his usual warmth and listened as she quickly outlined the problem. ‘So you think she needs some antibiotics?’