How Now Purple Cow

by Marja McGraw

  While we waited, we each got into our first disguises of the day. I have to admit, I felt kind of silly, but there were no other choices. I shouldn’t have felt anything since Chris and I dressed the part for our forties-themed restaurant, but this was different.

  I checked on the dogs and decided to leave them in the yard. They were happily exploring every nook and cranny.

  Judith had closed the drapes and we sat talking quietly in the living room.

  After about an hour, Piper took a deep breath and pulled out the purple cows. “Show time,” she said.

  She and James made a point of stepping out on the porch and waving good-bye. Piper openly handed the cows to James while she climbed down the porch steps. He followed her and when they reached the car she held open the cloth shopping bag while he lowered the cows into it.

  I watched through a slit in the drapes. So much for trying to look sneaky.

  Piper vigorously shook her head and took the cows out of the bag, setting them on the hood of the car. Her husband opened the car door and she withdrew some newspaper. Carefully, she wrapped the cows and replaced them in the bag.

  They climbed into the car and slowly pulled away from the curb.

  I continued to watch as the light blue car followed them very slowly and at a distance. I got a glimpse of Grigori for the first time when he turned and glanced at the house, and he didn’t particularly look the way Randy had described him. Curious, and maybe a little scary. Was Randy his sidekick?

  The dark SUV wasn’t too far behind, having apparently made a u-turn, but I couldn’t see the driver through the tinted windows.

  After they turned a corner, I ran out to the Jeep and threw my two large purses inside, ready to join the crowd.

  Chris passed me and opened the garage door so he could back out the Chevy.

  Judith and Chris, Sr. waited impatiently until their son was out of the way before pulling their car out of the garage.

  The twins had parked in the driveway of the vacant house next door. They hurried over and backed out, heading for the Old Town area.

  I wasn’t sure where Rick had parked, but he hadn’t brought the Lamborghini this time. When I saw Constance’s little economy car, I realized they were going for anonymous.

  We each took off in different directions, determined not to show up together.

  I arrived at the location and drove slowly, looking for familiar cars. I saw Chris’s green Chevy parked on a side street, so I drove to the next corner and turned, parking in the first spot I saw.

  Grabbing one of the two purses, I made my way to the main street and studied the pedestrians. Piper and James were just crossing the street to my right. She let the cloth bag dangle by her side. I fell in step a ways behind them, studiously ignoring them.

  Chris was a few paces in front of them. He stopped to window shop while they passed him. When he looked up, I was passing him and he made a point of not seeing me.

  I had on the gray wig, some loose slacks and an oversized blouse. I wore old sandals from the days I worked in the yard. I felt totally nondescript and invisible.

  Casually looking up and down the street, I saw Rick step out of a store and walk up behind the Hathaways. True to his role, he looked all around as though checking things out carefully.

  I stopped to pretend I was looking at a storefront window. Glancing back, I saw an elderly man turn the corner onto the main street, leaning heavily on a cane. Grigori appeared tall, but bent over with age.

  I stayed where I was until he passed me. He hadn’t even noticed me, other than to throw me a perfunctory glance, and I hadn’t looked directly at him. He had eyes for the Hathaways and nothing else.

  Again, I casually glanced around, hoping to figure out who his partner was. No one struck me as a candidate.

  The old man was gaining on the Hathaways and I almost made a move, but Coral beat me to it and stepped between him and them. I smiled to myself, thinking that maybe she was sharper than I gave her credit for.

  Chris had fallen back and let the old man pass him.

  Rick stepped past the Hathaways.

  I hadn’t seen Constance, Carol or my in-laws yet, but I knew they were around somewhere.

  The old man turned and gave me another quick glance. It was time to change disguises, but I didn’t want to drop out of the line-up yet.

  Judith walked out of a store and nodded at me. We switched places. It was a clothing store, so I grabbed a dress off the rack and hurried to a dressing room.

  Taking note of my big purse, a sales clerk kept a close eye on me and the dress.

  When I stepped out of the dressing room wearing a touch of lipstick and with my cheeks a little pinker, wearing a dress and heels and a dark brown wig, the clerk did a double take. She sighed with relief when I replaced the dress on the rack.

  I’d been walking hunched over and it felt good to finally straighten my back.

  I hurried down the street when I saw Grigori reach out with his cane. It looked like he was going to knock the cloth bag off Piper’s arm – or maybe he was going to attack her.

  Coral had disappeared, but Carol stepped out of the shadows and “accidentally” knocked the cane out of the old man’s hand. She started to bend to pick it up and hand it to him, but someone beat her to it. It looked like Chris, Sr.

  Carol hurried off without apologizing.

  It took all of my self-control not to applaud.

  We were doing what we’d set out to do, and we were doing it well. I was so proud of everyone. But at what point would we somehow take charge and stop Grigori? What was everyone waiting for? Realistically, he could have hurt Piper with his cane.

  The Hathaways slowly strolled down the street like they didn’t have a care in the world, acting like they had no idea a killer dogged their footsteps.

  I glanced past them and saw a familiar figure coming my way. I couldn’t place him, but somehow I knew him.

  As he walked by me, our eyes locked for just an instant in recognition.

  We each looked away.

  Chapter Thirty-eight

  I heard a softly spoken comment as he walked by.

  “Antique store. Now.”

  I had a feeling some doors were about to open and reveal… I had no idea what would be revealed. Did I really want to know?

  Randy kept walking. I wasn’t the only one in disguise. He wore a business suit and had his hair slicked back. Dark sunglasses adorned his face.

  Constance walked near me. I made an understated movement to indicate she should take my place. She caught on and moved in front of me while I backed off.

  The antique store awaited me. Was I frightened? Had I discovered who Grigori’s partner was? I’d soon find out. At least there were other people around. I wasn’t alone.

  Hurrying to the antique store, I turned in and saw Chris and Randy at the back of the store talking in hushed tones.

  “What’s going on here?” I wanted answers quickly.

  Randy complied. “I’m one of you, so to speak,” he said. “The agency sent me to help out. Well, not really the agency. The Hathaways still have a connection there, and Max knows there’s a leak. He wants me to plug it and keep them safe.”

  “How do we know you’re telling the truth?” I asked. “You gave us a phony description of Grigori.”

  “You’ll just have to trust me for now. And I gave you the description of the way he looked when he talked to me.”

  Someone entered the store and we scattered, acting as though we didn’t know each other.

  It was a woman and she left after asking a question.

  We regrouped. The sales clerk watched us with an eagle eye and a lot of curiosity.

  “Why don’t you simply pick up Grigori?”

  Chris had the answer. “Because they have to figure out who his partner is and why he needs help. They’ve got to figure out who the leak is.”

  “Ah.” That made sense.

  Randy started to walk around the store. We fo
llowed suit.

  “Have either of you seen the SUV?”

  “I can’t figure that one out,” Chris said. “I’ve been eyeballing things and I haven’t seen it anywhere. I’ve checked out every side street and driveway I can find.”

  Randy rubbed his chin. “The second man is biding his time for some reason. The Russians still want the microdot.”

  “You know about the microdot?” I was surprised. He seemed to know a lot more than we gave him credit for.

  “Rick and I have been in touch.” That seemed to explain a lot. “Changing the subject, keep my involvement to yourself. I don’t want your friends giving me away. Now let’s get back to it. Let me know if you see anyone – anyone – who seems suspicious. But do it subtly.”

  “One last question. Do Piper and James know who you are?” I needed to know where everyone stood in this situation.

  “Not yet. Rick will fill them in today.”

  Chris took hold of my hand and squeezed it. “Come on, doll, let’s pair up for a while.”

  I nodded and left the store with my husband. We were, for the moment, just a couple out shopping.

  Randy didn’t follow us, and when I glanced back inside the store, he was nowhere in sight. He must have left by the back door.

  The Hathaways were halfway down the block. We followed, taking our time.

  “I don’t see the old man.” Chris was rubbernecking, trying to place everyone. We’d lost too much time by stopping in the antique store.

  Rather than walk quickly, we lengthened our stride to catch up. As we passed Chris, Sr., the Bogey Man quietly asked, “Old man?”

  His father inclined his head toward an alley and stopped to look at a display in a window.

  I chuckled to myself as I realized he was in front of a lingerie store.

  Walking past the alley, Chris turned his head and spoke to me but he was actually looking past me to see if the old man was in view.

  “He’s just standing there, in the middle of the alley.”

  “Is there anyone with him?” I asked.

  “Maybe. I can’t see anyone, but he’s talking. It could be he’s mumbling to himself. I can’t tell.”

  “We need to tell Randy when we see him.”

  Chris nodded and kept walking.

  Carol and Coral were on the stroll and at some point they’d changed disguises. Carol had become an old woman who wore coveralls and carried a small spade. Yeah, like that wouldn’t draw attention to her. Coral had on her work clothes, too, and the two women glared at each other.

  Coral snarled at her sister before ducking into a tea room.

  Piper and James had settled themselves on a park bench that sat along the curb. There were planters filled with colorful flowers on each side of the bench, but they were far enough away that they didn’t block my view. The cloth bag rested next to Piper, where anyone could grab it and run.

  Judith stood behind them, reading a flyer that had been fastened to a light pole. She didn’t budge from her spot until she saw Chris and me. Her black wig made her appear older than she is, or maybe she’d done something with make-up. She hitched the strap on her big purse across her shoulder and hung onto it like she was afraid of being mugged.

  It took a moment for me to realize she was acting paranoid on purpose.

  As Judith moved away, I could see Piper’s shoulders relax. I was pretty sure the Hathaways wanted someone to make a move, and it wasn’t one of us.

  A man wearing a baseball cap pulled low on his forehead, jeans and a black shirt approached them and sat on the bench. I recognized his sunglasses as those Randy had been wearing.

  It didn’t take long for the Hathaways to engage him in conversation. It looked very natural, as though they were simply being friendly. I wondered if he was telling them the truth about who he was.

  Chris took hold of my hand and squeezed before leaving me to enter a store. He was probably about to change his appearance again.

  Constance exited the store Chris had entered. She’d given herself a School Marm look and wore glasses with very thick frames. I glanced away so I wouldn’t laugh. The look didn’t suit her.

  How long were we going to keep this up? It seemed like someone should be making a move, but nothing was happening. Maybe patience was the key to being a spy. Sure, that was it.

  While Constance took my place, I zipped into a gift shop and asked to use the restroom.

  “Sorry, but we don’t have a public restroom.”

  “But – “

  “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it’s for employees only.”

  I rolled my eyes, and if they could have spoken, the clerk would have gotten an earful. “Is there a back door?”

  She pointed over my shoulder without speaking.

  As I walked through the store I pulled off my latest wig and stuffed it in my purse while pulling out a ribbon to tie my own hair back, knowing I’d have to do more than just change my hair. Once I was out the back door, I fished a light-weight long sweater out of the purse to wear over my clothes. All modesty was out the window as I pulled off the skirt I’d been wearing and pulled on a pair of old jeans,.

  So what if I had to change clothes in an alley? What was modesty compared to the safety of the people listed on the microdot?

  “Lady, what do you think you’re doing?”

  I sucked in my breath when I stood straight and looked directly into the eyes of… Grigori!

  Panic swept over me as he stared at me with his cold, unfeeling fish eyes. Yes, for the first time in my life, someone was giving me the true dead fish eye.

  He scared me. He might be old, but his voice was young and strong – and mean.

  He straightened and stood taller.

  And it struck me like a bolt of lightning.

  “You’re not Grigori!”

  The man flashed straight white teeth at me, but it wasn’t a smile. Raising his cane, he came at me. “And you’re not a shopper.”

  He wore an old trench coat and one hand was in his pocket. There was no doubt in my mind that he was about to pull out a gun.

  Choose your battles, flashed through my mind.

  Without a second thought I ran at him, hitting his right arm with my shoulder as hard as I could. It knocked him off balance and into the wall and I kept running, never looking back. At the end of the alley I turned right, entering the side bar of the alley and running to the street.

  I’d done the unexpected. He wasn’t ready for it. I’d chosen my battle well.

  “Help me!” I yelled. “Someone help me.”

  The twins were the first to reach me. They put their arms around my shoulders.

  “Look at the panic on her face,” Coral said.

  “Fear. Pure unadulterated fear,” Carol said.

  I pointed toward the alley.

  “It’s not him!”

  “Not who?”

  Chapter Thirty-nine

  My legs shook so hard I was afraid I’d fall over. The girls helped me to a bench.

  Chris came running with his father not far behind him.

  Before I could tell anyone what happened, two men came running out of the alley with guns drawn. One was an old man – or not – and he had dirt down the side of his coat. I figured I’d knocked him down in the alley.

  The other man was either smiling at the thought of shooting us, or grimacing.

  I saw people running into stores at the sight of the guns. I saw Chris step in front of me protectively, and his father sat down next to me, pulling me close.

  While others hid in stores, our little group circled me.

  The two men ran past us, pulling up short in front of Piper and James.

  The old-looking man aimed his gun at Piper, but directed his eyes at James. “Hand them over,” he said. “You know I won’t hesitate to take care of Red.”

  At that moment, Piper’s red hair was like a beacon in the night.

  If the look on James’ face could kill, the man with the gun would drop dead.
But looks can’t kill.

  Rick stepped out of a storefront and quietly approached the men from the rear.

  James reached back for the cloth bag and opened it. “You want purple cows? I’ll give you purple cows!”

  He opened the bag and reached in, pulling out – what else – a purple cow.

  For an old guy, James was fast. He slammed the cow down on the man’s wrist, knocking the gun out of his hand.

  Piper swung her purse at the second man who was distracted just enough to miss seeing her move, while Rick kicked the back of his knees. The man’s gun went off, harmlessly sending a bullet into the sidewalk as his legs crumbled and he fell to the ground.

  Apparently, neither man had expected aged spies to be so quick.

  Three cars pulled up with screeching tires and Randy jumped out of one, gun in hand.

  “It’s over,” he said. His gun never wavered, but he did a humorous double take when he looked at the old man.

  “You’re not Grigori. Where is he?”

  Now, where had I heard that line before?

  I looked at the three cars with wide eyes. Apparently, Randy had called for reinforcements.

  He stared at the second man. “Jonesy. You always did strike me as someone who’d sell out to the highest bidder.” He chuckled. “It’s good to see an old guy was able to take you down.”

  The two foreign spies said something to each other in Russian. If I could translate based on the tone, I’d have guessed one of them was telling the other what a buffoon he was.

  Who would have guessed that the second man – or as it turned out, the third – would be a turncoat from the agency? Maybe Randy, if he’d thought about it. Maybe not.

  “Where’s Grigori?” Randy looked threatening, even to me.

  “Find him yourself.” The Grigori look-alike curled his upper lip.

  Men in suits and sunglasses hustled the two Russians toward the cars pulled up in the street. As fast as they’d pulled up to the curb, they left.

  Huh. Just like in the movies – black SUVs. I was surprised that fact even registered in my mind.

  Randy took off running toward the side street where the light blue car had been parked, gun still in hand. He stopped at the corner and stealthily stole a glance at the car. Taking a deep breath, he rounded the corner and disappeared.