Where the River Ends

by Jacqui Penn

  They said their goodbyes, and with Nellie waving at Hillary who stood at the front door of the guest house, Sophia put the car into gear and pulled away.

  ‘Ah, I really liked Hillary. We’re going to stay in touch,’ Nellie said as they turned out of the road.

  ‘You should. She’s a lovely lady.’ They’d spent the previous evening playing cards in the private rooms of the guest house where Hillary and her husband Russell lived.

  Sophia stopped the car a few minutes later outside Gio’s father’s house. She pulled the letter from her open bag. ‘I’ll just pop this through the letterbox.’ She gently rubbed the envelope between her fingers as she approached the door. Please get in touch, Gio, she said to herself. She slid the letter through the box and then jumped back as a dog barked ferociously the other side of the door. For a moment she didn’t know whether to walk away or knock on the door. Gio’s father must have returned from his trip. Her body tensed. The door opened and a grey-bearded man with a nearly bald head looked at her. A small black dog rushed at her, its tail wagging.

  The man had the letter in his hand. ‘Good morning,’ he said.

  ‘Hello. I’m a friend of—’

  ‘You just missed him. He dropped me back and then had to get straight back. Some sort of emergency at work. Beats me why someone else can’t handle it. Anyhow, I’ll give him this for you. Nice to meet you…’

  ‘Sophia.’

  He hesitated. His mouth opened then shut again and he cleared his throat looking past her to the car. ‘Pretty name. I’m Archie. Come on in, Buster.’ The dog obediently stopped sniffing a nearby bush and went into the house. ‘Bye now.’

  ‘Goodbye.’ Sophia turned and hurried back to the car. Her heart raced for no good reason. She fastened her seatbelt and pulled away from the kerb. She licked her lips trying to bring some moisture to her mouth. ‘I’ll stop at the garage for a bottle of water.’

  ‘That was his dad, was it?’ Nellie said.

  Sophia drew a breath. ‘Yes. He said Gio had only just left. I’d just missed him.’

  ‘Ah. That’s a shame. Did he want to know who you were?’

  ‘No. He just took the letter and said he’d give it to him.’

  ‘He must see quite a bit of him then.’

  Sophia was thoughtful. ‘I never thought of that. It was a bit strange really.’ She pulled into the petrol station. ‘I might as well fill up here. Do you want any water or anything?’

  ‘No thanks, love.’

  She opened the fuel tank, put in the nozzle and watched as the gauge began to clock up the fuel.

  ‘Sophia!’ Her hand slipped off the lever and she turned.

  Her heart skipped a beat when she saw it was him. ‘Gio!’

  ‘What are you doing here? I can’t believe it’s really you.’

  She bit her bottom lip and realised she was shaking. ‘I came…’ Her heart beat rapidly. ‘I…’

  ‘Let me do that for you.’ He took the fuel pump from her hand and started to fill the tank. ‘How much do you want? Shall I fill it?’ She nodded. ‘What’s the chance of bumping into you? What are you doing here?’

  She cleared her throat. ‘I came to find you.’

  The pump stopped and he stared at her. ‘Did you?’ He looked shocked and exhaled a long breath. He carried on filling the car. ‘I haven’t got in touch because—’

  ‘It’s okay. I know. I just went to your dad’s house and left you a letter.’

  He replaced the nozzle. ‘A letter? This is the most… I can’t believe we’re standing in a fuel station. Shall we go for a coffee? I might need something stronger.’

  Sophia laughed. ‘It’s ten-thirty.’ She couldn’t believe he was here. Here right next to her. She wasn’t going to let him go until she’d said what she came all these miles for. ‘I’d love a coffee. I’ve got Nellie and—’

  He turned to the car. ‘Nellie. Hello. The whole family came… A baby!’ He bent down to the front window. ‘Are you married? Oh, my! Of course you are. Congratulations.’ He was talking so fast Sophia couldn’t get a word in. ‘Do you want to follow me? I know a great place for morning coffee. Great cakes, pastries, or whatever.’ He suddenly bent forward and pulled her into his chest. ‘Sophia. Sophia.’ He kissed her cheek and then released his hold. A car behind them tooted. Gio waved his hand in apology. ‘We’re holding them all up. Follow me.’

  ‘Okay. I have to pay, so don’t go disappearing on me.’

  He smiled. ‘Not likely.’

  She opened the passenger door and bent to the floor for her handbag. She looked at Nellie who sat with a bemused look on her face.

  ‘Well, he was certainly pleased to see you. And just look at that twinkle in your eye,’ Nellie said.

  ‘You don’t mind going for coffee, do you?’

  ‘Get away with you! You can’t be serious. We found him, and you have to ask.’ The car behind tooted again and Sophia nodded at the driver before she hurried over to pay for her fuel.

  Chapter 35

  Sophia fumbled in her purse for the notes, dropped them, and then tipped her coins out when trying to retrieve them. Get a grip! He has a family. Her heart raced. She hurried back to the car, giving him a wave. Why did you do that? ‘Oh no! I think I’m losing my marbles,’ she said as she climbed into the car.

  Nellie caught her eye in the rear-view mirror. ‘You’re just excited.’

  Nellie could see more than excitement in Sophia. She’d come alive as surely as flicking on a light switch as soon as she’d seen Gio. She’d even walked with a spring in her step when she went to pay for the fuel. And him! He’d been beside himself, not being able to get the words out quick enough. That look in his eyes. Nellie had seen the same look many a time when people were in love. He already had a family; this wasn’t boding well for either of them. How would Sophia cope with saying goodbye again? Nellie felt a can of worms opening before her eyes and there was nothing she could do to help or prevent the hurt and pain that was about to erupt.

  Sophia followed Gio’s car. An impressive model, she had no idea what make it was, only that it was expensive looking. She mustn’t get too near to his rear bumper in her eagerness to be closer to him. This felt surreal.

  ‘Oh, Nellie! We found him. Can you believe it?’

  ‘He found you. You hadn’t spotted him, and he could’ve just pulled out of that garage none the wiser.’

  ‘Someone up there is looking after us.’ She indicated right at a roundabout. Her breath was coming in short rasps. ‘This feels like a dream. Gio is actually in that car right in front of us.’ She followed him into a large carpark with only a few other cars. An old, low roofed pub was at the far end.

  ‘This looks like something that should be in the middle of the English countryside, miles from anywhere, not five minutes from a town,’ Nellie said as she unclipped her seat belt. Gio was already out of his car and walking towards them.

  Gio had taken charge of Nellie’s wheelchair and was striding into the pub with her while Sophia followed with Giorgia. He settled them at a table by the window before going to the bar and ordering three coffees and a selection of fruit pastries and croissants.

  ‘Just look at that fireplace. I bet that looks lovely in the winter when it’s alight.’ Nellie looked around in delight. ‘And those lovely low beams and proper tables and chairs. What a lovely place.’

  Sophia didn’t answer. How was she going to find the words to tell him about Giorgia? For him, it’d be the start of a nightmare. He’d only just had a baby and he would have to go home and tell his wife that he had another child. The news would surely come as a blow.

  He must have met his wife quite soon after their liaison. Of course, it could have been the woman he’d been seeing when he was in the Airforce. He said he’d asked her to marry him, but no arrangement had been made.

  She looked at him, standing at the bar, pointing to various plates in the display cabinet. She suddenly felt sorry for him. At this moment he had nothing
to worry about. He’d met an old friend, well, a bit more than friends, but nonetheless, he was in ignorant bliss and she was about to shatter that. It didn’t matter that given time to adjust, everything would sort itself out. For today and probably the foreseeable future, his world was about to turn around and he would have a lot to deal with. Sophia felt sorrier for Gio than for herself or Giorgia.

  Gio sat next to Sophia on the sofa and looked at Giorgia asleep in her car seat on the floor. ‘She’s a beauty, just like her mum,’ Gio said.

  Sophia cleared her throat. ‘She’s very good.’

  Nellie began to turn her chair. ‘I’m going over there to have a look in that china cabinet. ‘I like all the old stuff.’

  ‘I’ll take you.’ Gio offered.

  ‘No thanks. That’s kind, but I can manage.’

  Sophia felt her chest tighten. ‘So you left the Airforce.’

  Gio shifted to face her. ‘Not really.’ He hesitated. ‘I didn’t want to talk about it when I saw you. We didn’t have much time and…’

  Sophia could see he was struggling. ‘What is it, Gio?’ She braced herself already knowing by the look on his face and his tone that the answer wasn’t going to be something she wanted to hear.

  ‘It’s so embarrassing…’ He looked across the bar. ‘I had a breakdown. I don’t know why. Nothing seemed to be going right in my life and I just…’ He looked into his lap pulling at his fingers. ‘After I saw you again… Oh, I don’t know, it all just fell to pieces, and anyway, things hadn’t been good for a long time. I’d already had a lot of time off sick so, that was that. They gave me my marching orders.’ He smiled. ‘That’s not fair. They asked if I wanted out and at the time I didn’t have a clue what I wanted. I just knew nothing in my life was right, so I said yes.’

  Sophia covered his hands with her own. ‘And what about now? Have things got better for you?’

  ‘Yes, I have to say they have. Probably the best thing I ever did was to get out.’ He looked at her again. ‘I’ve got a bike shop, here in town and… yes. Life is good again… That’s enough about me. How are you doing?’

  Sophia smiled and nodded. The coffee and pastries arrived and she waited, grateful for a moment to herself to think and take in what Gio had told her. He obviously didn’t want to tell her he had a wife and child.

  Gio looked at her expectantly as the barman walked away. ‘You look very happy, so I guess life is working out for you.’

  Nellie came back. ‘Look at all those pastries. I’ll have to take mine with me. There’s no way I could eat one now.’

  ‘I’m sure you could manage one,’ Gio said.

  ‘We’ve only just had breakfast.’

  Sophia pursed her lips together. ‘I am very happy. We moved to a lovely place by the sea. I love it there. Nellie comes to visit. It’s nice isn’t it Nellie?’

  ‘Oh, it’s gorgeous. You can smell the sea in the mornings as soon as you open a front window.’ She chose a pastry and started to nibble at it.

  Sophia didn’t want to meet Nellie’s eye. She couldn’t tell Gio about Giorgia now. Not when he’d only just got his life back on track. The news could break up his marriage or at least cause a lot of trouble as the babies were so close in age.

  They spoke about Birchington, the bike shop, and every other mundane thing in the world until after two coffees the time had come to part ways.

  They stood at Sophia’s car. Gio wrapped his arms around her. ‘I hope you’ll come up this way again soon. Why were you in this neck of the woods?’

  ‘We just fancied a break. Somewhere different… It just seemed like a good idea.’

  ‘It was. It was a fantastic idea. You don’t know what this means to me seeing you again. Well, for now. I’ll probably be all maudlin by tonight.’

  Sophia nodded. ‘You and me both.’

  ‘Can we at least stay in touch now we’ve found each other again?’

  ‘I’d like that. My address and phone number are on the letter at your dad’s house.’

  ‘I can’t believe I keep letting you disappear from my life,’ A look of sadness now clouded his face. He hugged her tight, kissed her cheek, turned and strutted across the car park towards his car.

  Sophia started up the engine and pulled away. She glanced over towards Gio’s car and saw him just about to get in. He looked and waved, hovering before sliding into the driver’s seat and closing the door.

  Nellie sat silently in the back of the car. Sophia had already wiped her face with the back of her hand twice, trying to conceal the fact that she was crying. Nellie wanted to scream. Why the hell hadn’t she told him? Nellie had made herself scarce to save any embarrassment, but when she’d returned they were talking about beaches, motorbikes and the weather of all things when there had been so much on the agenda that needed to be said.

  ‘Are you alright, love?’ she asked.

  Sophia made a high pitched squeak which Nellie assumed meant she was too emotional to talk.

  Nellie shook her head in disbelief. Why? Just why? She’d never understood the ways of youngsters today. To be fair, Sophia was pretty level-headed, but not today. The poor girl had probably chickened out when it’d finally come to it.

  Sophia drove in a daze with tears streaming down her cheeks. She had to stop crying, she could hardly see the road. Gio must have been so ill. A breakdown. At least he was happy again now and that was what she wanted for him. He must have had such a bad time and she couldn’t risk sending him down that road again.

  Gio didn’t go into work. He drove back to his dad’s house. His father rushed out of the kitchen at the sound of the front door opening.

  ‘Oh, Gio. You gave me a fright. I thought you were at work.’ He patted Buster on the head. ‘That woman came around with your cheque, so at least that’s sorted.’ He walked back into the kitchen, picked up the envelope and handed it to Gio.

  ‘This isn’t the cheque. It was Sophia who came here.’

  ‘The Sophia?

  ‘The one and only.’

  His dad’s mouth dropped open. ‘You missed each other by… How do you know—?’

  ‘I saw her in the garage and we went for coffee.’

  His dad smiled. ‘And?’

  ‘And nothing. She’s married with a baby.’

  ‘Did you tell her—?’

  ‘No point. Anyhow, I’m going, see you later.’ Gio turned and headed for the front door.

  ‘You should have told her. If you don’t tell her she’ll never know.’

  Gio didn’t answer. He drove to the nearest park, sat under a shady tree and read her words. She’d gone again, and he’d let her. She’d looked happy, but there was also a tinge of sadness about her. It was possible that she also dwelt on what might have been between them. She’d made her decision and it still hurt.

  He opened the envelope carefully and read her short letter over and over before he slipped it back into the envelope and closed his eyes. That had been kind of her to look him up, but she had no idea what it did to him every time he saw her again. He couldn’t let himself get as down as before.

  His stomach felt empty. His whole body felt empty. He’d held her only a short time ago and let her fade from his life again. There was nothing he could do about it. Too many people would be hurt if he pursued her. He had to let go. How many times had he said that to himself? He knew what he had to do, what he should do, but now he hurt again, just like last time.

  The journey back was almost in silence. They’d stopped in a service station for Giorgia to be fed. Sophia felt sad. Sadder than she’d ever felt before. She’d lived and dreamed of the day she would tell Gio about Giorgia and now… She didn’t know what now.

  Nellie fiddled with her coffee cup. ‘I can’t drink that. I’ve had far too many today.’ She sipped it. ‘Shall I come back with you and stay for a few days?’

  Sophia hadn’t touched her coffee. She felt defeated. ‘If you want.’

  ‘I don’t want to be in the way, but I can’t
leave you on your own, not like this.’

  Sophia nodded and continued to feed Giorgia in silence.

  Sophia went through the motions until Giorgia went down for the night and then she went to bed herself, leaving Nellie watching a film in the front room.

  She pulled the covers up around her shoulders and closed her eyes. The trip to find Gio had been a mistake; no good had come of it. He still had a right to know about Giorgia, but there was time for that later. For now, she had to get herself sorted and put Giovanni Moretti out of her mind.

  Chapter 36

  Gio threw himself into work. Anything to take his mind off Sophia. Inside he was miserable; to the outside world, he thought he was carrying off the deception well. He felt weak. He should be able to get over her. How could a woman break him so easily? She was out of reach and until he accepted that his life wasn’t worth living.

  It was a Sunday afternoon and Gio and his dad had gone to have a pint of real ale in The Whistler, a pub near Paco’s house. The conversation had been difficult. Gio hadn’t had much to say since the visit from Sophia.

  Paco looked around the bar. Everyone else seemed to be having a good time laughing and chatting. He’d seen Gio like this before.

  ‘So, what’re you going to do?’ he said not meeting his son’s eyes.

  Gio lifted his head. ‘About what?’

  ‘About this damn woman that you can’t get out of your head. She’s ruining your life and you’re letting her.’

  ‘No I’m not.’ Gio frowned and looked around the pub for something to focus on. ‘Don’t start. I don’t need to hear it.’

  ‘Alright. Keep your hair on.’ Paco took a swig of his beer and put the glass back on the table. ‘The thing is, that you’re not doing anything about it. Why don’t you move down her area? Be around and see her now and again. Be friends. At least she’d be in your life. Not the way you’d like, but it has to be better than now.’