Burn for Me

by Lea Coll

  “Yeah, they wined and dined the last female associate and she left after working here six months. That’s why Gunner hired three new attorneys this time. They figured they might lose one or two.”

  “Why hire two women if they don’t want to hire one?”

  “Remember how Richard said he was concerned for the firm’s reputation at the first conference meeting?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Rumors were going around that this isn’t a good place for women to work. Richard came on to one of the female attorneys, the hours are unreasonable, and women are rarely promoted. That’s why Jillian was offered a partner position last year and they hired us. They’re trying to fix their reputation.”

  “They’re not going to succeed if the attitudes here are the same. Not much has changed.” I hadn’t had any issues working with Richard, not since my interview when I couldn’t tell if he was coming on to me or whether he truly wanted to know if I could handle the hours.

  “Exactly.”

  “It might be a good idea for us to keep our options open.” Gunner’s whack-a-mole style of hiring didn’t bode well for me.

  “I am. I took the first position I could find in town so I could move back from Baltimore.”

  “You didn’t like the city?”

  “Yeah, I missed home,” she said. “I’ve been trying to return since I graduated and this was the first position I found.”

  I got the impression Sadie didn’t tell people personal information. Hopefully, I’d made progress with her today. I wanted to be her friend. From the sound of things, it would be a good idea for us to confide in each other.

  LATER THAT AFTERNOON, MS. MCCLELLAN’S name appeared on my phone. Sighing and picking up the phone, Ms. McClellan screeched, “I think he’s going to take my kids!”

  I winced and held the phone away from my ear. “Why do you think that?” I kept one eye on the clock since I was in the middle of preparing a trial for the next day and I didn’t have time to be on the phone with her for an hour or more.

  “I just do. I was married to him. I know how he thinks. If he has unsupervised visitation, he’s going to take off with them.”

  “Has he said anything to make you think that?” I kept my voice calm and reasonable, the way I’d imagine a preschool teacher reasoning with a three-year-old, remembering Richard’s words about being warm and fuzzy with the clients.

  “Not exactly. I just have a feeling.”

  “I’d be happy to file an emergency motion to change custody if he threatened to leave the state with the child, but right now we don’t have any proof. Judges don’t act on feelings; they need actions, threats, documents, solid evidence.”

  “I’m paying you to prevent him from having any visitation.”

  Trying not to get upset at her words, I repeated what I’d told her before, “We filed a Motion for Custody and the court assigned a guardian at litem or attorney for the child. He ordered both of you to have a parenting evaluation. Those things need to be done before a custody hearing can be scheduled. Unfortunately, it’s a long process.”

  “I’m not sure how I ended up with a brand new attorney. With the money I’m paying, I should have one of the partners. How long have you been practicing, anyway?”

  This wasn’t a new question, and it never failed to annoy me. I’d been questioned about my experience many times in the past. Whether it was my age or being female, if I said something a client didn’t want to hear, they questioned my credentials. “I’ve been practicing for three years now and have extensive experience with the court system.”

  I noticed Logan standing in the doorway. I was finally able to wrap it up after asking Ms. McClellan to make a note of anything we could use in the custody case against her husband. It satisfied her for the moment, but I dreaded the filled notebook she’d give me later.

  “Custody case?” Logan asked.

  “Yup. I feel like a therapist.”

  “Yeah, those cases take up most of my time and it’s all talking on the phone.”

  “It’s their money. I’m not sure who’s more expensive, the therapist or us.” Leaning back in my chair, I asked, “How was your golf outing?”

  He moved to take a seat. “It was fine. I think James King is playing us and will end up with my dad’s firm. In the meantime, he’ll allow us to wine and dine him.”

  “A waste of time, then.”

  “Probably.”

  I took a deep breath. Now was the time if I was going to do it. “Look, I wanted to say I’m sorry for being rude to you the other day when we were running.”

  “Really, Cook? An apology?” He paused, resting his elbows on his knees, and lowered his voice. “Was that so hard?”

  Something about the tone of his voice made my eyes shoot up to his. “It wasn’t easy,” I said quietly, unsure how to answer. Should I tell him I rarely apologized? And I’d done it twice with him. I had a hard time admitting when someone else was right or when I was in the wrong. It made me feel vulnerable.

  “Something tells me you don’t make apologies to anyone, ever.”

  “You’re right.” I couldn’t look away from the intensity in his eyes. I wanted to ask him if that was going to be a problem. But that was a question for a boyfriend, not whatever we were.

  “So why now? Why me?”

  “I was rude to you for no reason, and you’re right, you’ve never done anything to me. I don’t know you and I made assumptions about what kind of guy you are.”

  “You’re right. You don’t know me and I think if you got to know me, you’d like what you found, and that scares the shit out of you.”

  I panicked as he got up to leave. I wanted to smooth things over, not make them worse. At the same time, I wanted to strike back from his accusation that I was scared of him. He was too close to the truth. “Do you even know who the real Logan is?” I asked quietly.

  He paused at the doorway. “I’m the easy-going, fun guy everyone wants to be around.” He shot me a bitter smile and walked out.

  The air rushed out of me when it hit me. No one took the time to get to know Logan. He was fun, charming, and easygoing. He drew people in and they expected a good time. He felt pressured to be that person twenty-four-seven, which had to be exhausting. Was he always this way, or did his family expect him to be this way? Did I want to be the one who got inside?

  “YOU READY TO GO?” LOGAN asked later that week. Luke had scheduled a meeting at the high school for the kids interested in the college mentoring program.

  “Sure, let me grab some files for later,” I said, scrambling to shove my things into my briefcase.

  “I can drive you to school and we can get this stuff later.”

  I glanced up at him. “Okay, sure. That would be better.” It was a good sign he wanted to be in the same car with me after our run-in yesterday.

  “Leaving so early, fellow newbies?” Sadie asked as we walked past her office.

  “Oh, we’re working with the high school on a college-bound mentoring program—advising students on college applications, interviews, and tours,” Logan said his voice animated. “Maybe some career information too.”

  I watched him as he talked. I’d never seen him so passionate about anything, which I found fascinating.

  “Wow. How’d you swing pro-bono activities?” Sadie asked.

  “I got Kings Construction to be a sponsor, so the partners can’t complain. James King’s grandson is in the program.”

  I was surprised Richard had agreed so easily when we met with him. Richard was anxious to elevate the firm’s name in the community and what better way than a high school mentoring program that the associates would run? Especially when a large potential client was behind the cause.

  “Looks like you’re working all of the angles,” Sadie said, her eyes narrowed on him.

  Maybe I should have included Sadie, especially since I was trying to be friends with her, but I didn’t think the partners would agree to three associates doing pro-bo
no work.

  Logan glanced at his phone. “We’d better get going. We’re scheduled to speak in fifteen minutes.”

  “Good luck,” she said as we left.

  I was silent until we were alone in his car, driving to the school. “How did you manage to get Kings Construction to sponsor the program?”

  He glanced at me. “I mentioned it to James King and he said he had a grandchild at the high school. He wanted to talk to him about it before he decided. When he called me back, James said his grandson was excited about the program. I guess the kids see the junior firefighters and police officer kids doing all of these fun activities and wanted something similar for themselves. Why should only those kids have mentors?”

  “Yeah, that makes sense.” Impressed with the effort Logan took to get the mentoring program off the ground with his demanding work schedule, I felt like I was seeing him for the first time. Now that I knew no one had taken the time to get to know him, it made me determined to be the one to do it.

  “I thought we’d introduce ourselves, tell them what we expect from the program, and ask what they’d like to get out of it. We can go around the room, have them introduce themselves, and each say something.”

  “Yeah. That sounds perfect. Do you need me to do anything?” It was easy to get caught up in Logan’s excitement.

  Then his dimple popped. “Just stand there and look pretty.”

  I know he was teasing, but I wanted to be involved in a meaningful way—use my unique perspective as a female in the workforce. “I’d like to do something.”

  “We’ll figure it out. Let’s see how it goes. Today we’re meeting only with the kids who are interested in our program. We’ll only partner with the junior firefighter/police officer programs for volunteer events and maybe have some basketball or football games between the two groups.”

  “Okay, I hope you don’t expect me to play basketball.”

  “Why not, Cook? Can’t handle me?”

  “Oh, I can.” I didn’t think I’d ever played basketball outside of gym class, so this would be a disaster. I rested my head back on the seat. Now I needed to find time to practice shooting some hoops.

  “Am I going to need to give you some basketball lessons?”

  I imagined dribbling the ball, rubbing against him, with my ass pressed into his crotch as he tried to defend me. Playing sports with Logan was dangerous. “That would be appreciated.”

  “I like you, Cook. Always up for anything.” He pulled into the high school parking lot.

  His praise shot through my body, giving me that high I always got when my parents’ praised me, or I got a good grade. I realized I wanted Logan’s approval.

  During the meeting, the kids were engaged and excited. They had a billion questions for us and were eager to get started. I got the impression our advice held more weight for them than their parents’ did. Their enthusiasm was infectious and we left with more ideas for the group.

  On the way back to the office, Logan said, “Next time, let’s ask if they’d be interested in running the 5K with the junior firefighter/police officer volunteer programs. I know our group is based more on education than physical stuff, but I’d like to partner with them as much as possible. Then I thought we could have a meeting about college applications and set up mock college interviews.”

  “I can research that and gather common questions asked.” I was happy to be able to contribute in some way.

  “That would be great, Ashley. Thanks for helping me with this.”

  “Of course. It’s a great cause.” It was fun being around people who were excited to start their lives, choose a career. When was the last time I was excited about my career? I was driven, but I wasn’t happy. I thought if I were successful in my career, happiness would follow. But when would that happen—when I won the partner-track position, when I was partner? I wasn’t so sure.

  “I’m surprised you wanted to help out.”

  “What? I’m not—”

  “You’re so driven and focused.”

  “So, what? You thought I was only concerned with work?” I thought about my relationship with my sister. I had been mainly focused on school and my career my entire life. It’s what my parents pushed me to do and I continued to do it, but was I neglecting relationships with my family, my friends by being so singularly focused? Was I preventing other relationships from forming? Maybe Greg was right—I was too focused on success to the detriment of everyone else in my life.

  “No. I wouldn’t say that.” But then he shifted in his seat.

  That’s exactly what he thought. I closed my eyes. He wasn’t far from the truth. Is that how everyone saw me? I thought back to my friends, always commenting on how they didn’t see me because I was always working. Maybe this mentor program could be the catalyst for change in my life. I hoped so. I was feeling stagnant at this new job and this would be the perfect outlet. And I needed to work on my relationship with my family and even Logan.

  THAT WEEKEND, LUKE AND EMMA had everyone over to their farmhouse for dinner. When Luke opened the door, a buff-colored medium-sized dog jumped on me. I petted him as Luke pulled him off. “Sorry, he’s new—still learning manners.”

  “Is this Bailey, the dog from the farmers’ market?” I asked, shutting the door behind me. He looked similar. “Hey, buddy, how are you?” I asked him, crouching down to scratch his face, his whole body wiggling at my attention.

  “Yeah, we’re fostering him. Emma kept checking out the rescue dogs online and begging me for one, so I agreed to foster. We’ll see if she can give this guy up when he’s adopted.”

  “Well, he’s adorable.” I continued to pet Bailey as he followed me into the kitchen.

  “Beer’s in the fridge and Emma’s pouring wine,” Luke said.

  “Wine is fine,” I said.

  “Hey girl, glad you could finally make it,” Emma said, handing me a glass of wine.

  “Yeah, we didn’t think we’d see you,” Stella said.

  “We get some time off. It’s Saturday night,” I said, noticing the entire gang was already here including Logan, Sawyer, Jack, and Samantha, gathered around the island, which had bowls of salsa and chips, pretzels, grapes, cheese, and crackers.

  “Logan said you were busy with some case,” Stella said.

  “Nothing interesting. It’s a personal injury case, where the client claims she injured her teeth in the accident.”

  “That’s an odd one. Teeth?”

  “Yeah, she thinks a jury will award her money for all of her implants. But teeth aren’t worth money to juries and there’s no way we can prove all of her teeth were injured in the accident. Anyway, I had to go over all of the medical records and x-rays with Richard. It’s his case—I’m just assisting.” I was a little wary working with Richard alone in the office on a Saturday night, especially after Sadie mentioned he’d come on to another female attorney. But nothing had happened, thankfully.

  “It was just you and Richard?” Logan asked.

  “Yeah,” I said, sensing his concern.

  “No more shop talk,” Stella said. “We never see you guys anymore. Your cases are kind of boring, not as interesting as when you both worked in criminal law.”

  “If you get a murder case we’d love to hear about it,” Emma said.

  We wandered into the family room and I sat down on the sectional. Bailey stopped at my feet and I couldn’t help but scratch his ears. Animals were so much easier than people. Always happy to see you and all they needed was a little love and attention.

  Logan sat next to me. “You should adopt him. He’s cute and friendly.”

  “I’m gone fifteen hours a day and I’m volunteering with the high school mentor program. It wouldn’t be fair.” I’d always wanted a dog as a kid, but pet hair was an issue for my mom and her OCD cleaning tendencies.

  “I could help you,” Logan said, sitting so close next to me that his leg rested against mine.

  “How could you help me? You’re gone as
much as I am.” I focused my full attention on Logan as the conversation went on around us in the room.

  “We could make it work. You can walk home during the day and take him out. We could take turns at other times of the day. It would be good for us to get out. We’re stuck in that office all the time—we don’t see the light of day.” His eyes crinkled. “I feel like a dog would soften you up, so you wouldn’t be such a hardass to me.”

  I laughed and shook my head. “Really? Your game plan is to soften me up with a dog?”

  “Whatever it takes, Cook. I’ll stop at nothing to win that partner-track position.” He smiled to show me he was teasing.

  “What’s this now? You guys are going to be dog parents with shared custody?” Stella asked. Without waiting for a response, she continued, “Are you sure that would be fair to the dog? I don’t know if he’d survive the ongoing court battle that would result.”

  “That is a thing. People fight over custody of their pets as if they’re children. It’s crazy,” I said. “And no, it would be ridiculous for us to adopt a dog.” And together, no less. I didn’t know what Logan was thinking.

  Emma clapped her hands. “Yes! If you adopt Bailey, then I don’t have to say goodbye to him.” She got down on the floor and cuddled with him. “Did you hear that Bailey-boy? You’re going to be Hunter’s cousin.”

  I held up my hands. “Slow down. I didn’t say we were adopting.”

  “When I said we could foster dogs, I didn’t mean we would adopt them out to our friends,” Luke said.

  “Don’t worry, Ashley. You think about it. I won’t let anyone adopt him in the meantime,” Emma said. “Fosters get first pick to adopt themselves or to adopt to friends and family.”

  “You can’t stop someone from adopting him,” Luke said, shaking his head.

  “You should have known better than to let her bring the dog home,” Sawyer said.

  “Tell me about it,” Luke said. “She tends to get her way, though.”

  “As it should be,” Emma said.

  “How’s the mentor program going? I wanted to do a write-up in the paper,” Stella said.