Burn for Me

by Lea Coll

  “It’s great. We recently expanded it to other students who aren’t interested in the police officer or firefighter program. Logan and Ashley are heading up that group,” Luke said.

  “Really? You guys are working together?” Stella asked.

  “Yes, we’re not completely hopeless,” I said, “and it’s for a great cause.”

  “We’re just helping them with college applications and interviews. They ask us a lot of questions about our experience,” Logan said.

  “We should have a basketball game or something everyone could participate in,” Luke said. “Get all three groups together.”

  “That’s a great idea,” Jack said. “I’m not sure how athletic your group will be, you know, since you’re a bunch of nerds.”

  “Hey! We’re plenty athletic. Most of the kids we talked to are involved in athletics.” I said. “We’ll take you guys on.”

  “Is everything a competition with you guys?” Stella asked.

  “Yes,” Logan and I answered at the same time.

  “Oh, God. I don’t know which is worse: when you’re at each other’s throats or when you’re on the same team,” Stella said.

  When I wasn’t pushing Logan away, we were great together. Our morning runs were easy and fun. We made a great team mentoring those kids. Maybe I should stop fighting him and see where it went—whether we’d just be friends or maybe something more. The thing is I’d never been good at trying something without a plan in place and a contingency if things went badly.

  I WAS PRETTY SURE LOGAN made me do burpees so he could watch my boobs bounce. There couldn’t possibly be any reason for doing them. They were the worst.

  The timer on his phone buzzed. “Now, twenty seconds active rest.” He raised his brow at me. “Active rest is jogging in place, not standing still.” Logan was all business this morning with his timed workout and orders, and I wanted to distract him.

  “I don’t see the purpose of burpees.” I placed a hand on my cocked hip, hoping to distract him from the HIIT portion of our workout, which consisted of short bursts of high-intensity exercises. And my plan to relax and see what could happen between us was in place.

  “Aren’t you in better shape since we started working out?”

  I bit my lip. I hated to admit when anyone was right—especially Logan. My legs were looking more muscular these days. “I don’t know. My ass is still a bit jiggly.” My lips twitched.

  “Is it now?” he asked, immediately alert.

  My heart was already beating hard from exercising, but I felt the adrenaline coursing through my body.

  He rounded me carefully, scrutinizing me. “I’m going to need to see you do another round of burpees.”

  “And what? You’re going to stand behind me while I do them?” I asked, turning my head to watch him.

  He smirked. “How else do you want me to judge your claim? I can’t have one of my trainees wandering around with a jiggly butt.”

  I snorted. “You have other trainees? What am I asking—of course you do.”

  He didn’t get mad. Instead, he stepped closer and tugged lightly on my ponytail. “You’re the only one.”

  I turned to face him and asked quietly, “We’re done exercising, right?”

  “Do you want to be?”

  I couldn’t look away from the intensity in his eyes as he stepped closer to me, his hand cupping the back of my head, and his face lowered toward mine.

  “Yes.” Without a doubt. This was happening. Logan Gray was finally going to kiss me and I wanted it more than anything. I swayed toward him, placing my hands on the hard muscles of his chest, our lips only inches apart. Staying in the moment, I didn’t think of the consequences.

  “Oh, my God! Logan, is that you?” a female voice called.

  I closed my eyes as Logan’s hand dropped from my head and he took a step back. How could this woman not see that she was interrupting us? But when I opened my eyes to see the tall willowy blonde make her way closer to us in a royal blue wrap dress with nude stilettos, she had eyes only for Logan. “Gosh, I haven’t seen you in forever. How’ve you been?” Then she hugged him, wrapped her arms around his neck, and squeezed him. After a few seconds, Logan’s arms came around her.

  I stood stiffly, forcing myself to watch their interaction and feeling frumpy in my sweaty workout clothes next to her dressy outfit.

  He took a step back and crossed his arms over his chest, his jaw tight. “I’ve been good. Do you live here now?”

  His movement didn’t deter her at all. She moved forward when he stepped back, smiling at him. “No, I live in Baltimore, but I travel around to the doctor’s offices and hospitals as a sales rep. I visit Chestertown Nursing & Rehab pretty often.”

  Logan finally seemed to remember I was watching this awkward exchange and he introduced us, “Ashley, this is Summer, she went to college with me at Washington.”

  I shook her limp hand, noticing her perfectly manicured nails and her diamond tennis bracelet. “Nice to meet you.”

  She offered a small smile before she dropped her hand and her eyes were back on Logan. “We should catch up. You still have the same cell number?” Her eyes were so full of hope; it was hard to watch. When he nodded, she continued, “I’m headed out this afternoon, but I’ll text you and we can get together the next time I’m in town?”

  I couldn’t believe she was so ballsy as to ask him out while I was standing here. I could have been his girlfriend. She’d completely dismissed me as no one important.

  “Sure,” he said. “It was nice seeing you.”

  I felt like I’d been holding my breath the whole time they were talking. He agreed to meet up with this woman he had some history with right after he’d almost kissed me? I was irritated with him for not shutting her down and at myself for thinking he could be different. It was the wake-up call I needed.

  “You too.” She gave him one more long look and turned back toward the sidewalk.

  “What was that?” I asked, feeling angry at him, at myself for thinking he could be different.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You two clearly have history.”

  “I guess.”

  “I guess? She looked like whatever happened between you rocked her world and she couldn’t wait for it to happen again.”

  His face was tight. “It’s not happening again.”

  And that confirmed my suspicions. “You didn’t exactly tell her no.”

  “I didn’t say yes, either.”

  “Logan, all you did was encourage her. She was so into you and you went along with it.” I held up my hands. “Look, I know it’s none of my business, but you gave that woman hope.” If he wasn’t interested, why not be clear and say that, instead of letting her think he’d meet up with her?

  “You don’t understand.”

  It was none of my business. Logan and I fought, we danced around the electricity between us, but that was it. I had no claim on him. I had no right to be jealous and that’s how I was acting. My chest was so tight with emotion, I thought it would explode. I needed to rein it in. I didn’t want him to know how the encounter with Summer had affected me. He wasn’t willing to offer me any more than whatever he’d had with Summer—and I’d want more.

  I pulled my phone out of the strap on my arm. “I’d better get going if I want to have time for a shower before work.” I barely registered Logan’s nod before I took off for my apartment.

  I shivered in the cold morning air now that my body had cooled and my clothes were still damp with sweat. Before Summer called his name, I was sure he was going to kiss me, and the worst part was I would have let him. Her interruption couldn’t have come at a better time. I needed a reminder of who he was. I might see glimpses of an amazing guy underneath the charm, but he was never serious about women. He flirted, teased, and encouraged them to pursue him. My first impression was right—he was a ladies’ man.

  LATER THAT WEEK, I MET up with my friends at The Pub. My runs with Lo
gan had been awkward after that almost kiss. As soon as I’d considered lowering my guard around him to see what could happen, a woman from his past interrupted. It was bad timing, but it prevented me from making a mistake. I didn’t want to be treated like Summer. Once he was done with me, he wouldn’t be able to tell me he wasn’t interested anymore. He’d lie, tell me he’d call and then wouldn’t. I was smarter than that.

  “He’s the worst wingman. I’m invisible to women when he’s around,” Sawyer said as I walked up to their table. “They take one look at my glasses and his dimples and it’s no contest.”

  “I don’t know. Those glasses are very Clark Kent sexy. And you are a professor. You could totally make the sexy nerd work for you,” Stella said.

  Sawyer’s face turned red. Stella never filtered her words or considered her audience when speaking. I smiled and pulled out a chair to sit. “Who are we talking about?”

  “Sawyer and Logan’s sex appeal,” Stella said.

  “Ah,” I said, not seeing him at the table. I was torn between excitement to see him and relief that I didn’t. Despite my common sense, I still wanted to know what his lips would feel like.

  “He’s in the bathroom, but he was stopped on the way,” Emma said.

  “You know how they call women who love hockey players puck bunnies?” Stella asked.

  “Yeah,” I couldn’t help but be riveted by this conversation. I wanted to know every reason why I should stay away from him, so the next time we were close, I wouldn’t be tempted. “We need something like that to call Logan’s women. I can’t think of anything right now.” She shook her head. “Logan’s bunnies? No.”

  “So, what, he’s just a serial dater?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking.

  I knew women were attracted to him; I’d watched women approach him at bars, hand him their numbers, touch his chest while he smiled and said he’d call.

  “I wouldn’t say that,” Sawyer said, looking extremely uncomfortable with this conversation. “We probably shouldn’t even be talking about—”

  “And why do you need a wingman, Sawyer?” Stella asked. “You on the prowl for a woman?”

  He pulled at his collar. “No.”

  Poor Sawyer. He was usually so quiet and the first time he spoke up in the group, Stella was all over him. “Give him a break, Stella. It’s none of our business who he dates.”

  “I don’t know—” Stella started to say in a higher pitch.

  Logan returned to the table, plopping into the chair next to Sawyer. He asked him, “Are you okay? You’re sweating.”

  “Don’t worry about me. The question is, are you okay? Your fans are out in full force tonight,” Sawyer said.

  “It’s not reciprocated; trust me.” Logan’s eyes traveled around the table until they rested on mine.

  I couldn’t look away from him. “I would have thought you loved all of the attention.” I worried that everyone could see right through me, but I couldn’t help baiting him.

  “I don’t.” Logan’s jaw was tight and his voice flat.

  “Why do you encourage them, then?” I could feel the flush start on my face. If I didn’t shut up soon, everyone was going to think I was jealous. And they’d be right. We had a few charged moments and one almost-kiss and I wanted to lay claim to him.

  “I did nothing to encourage them.” Logan looked almost resigned even though he continued to disagree with me.

  “Back to your corners, you two,” Stella said. “And what business is it of yours who he dates, Ashley?”

  “You’re right. It’s not.” And I should remember that. I settled my elbows on the table and leaned toward Logan. “I feel bad for those poor women you string along.” I thought of Summer and how he never told her he wasn’t interested. How many other women did he shoot those dimples at and say, of course, call me sometime? I vowed I would never be one of those women and yet, at the first hint of his interest, I’d caved.

  Logan flinched and the table fell into an awkward silence. I felt like a spotlight was shining on me. How was I any different than Summer? The only difference was that I knew how he was with women and liked him anyway.

  My feelings were so jumbled up—I was jealous, angry, sad, hurt. I avoided him the rest of the night. There was a nagging feeling that I’d hurt him again with my words and temper, but I couldn’t get past the jealousy and it seemed like everyone could see through me. See that I was more invested in Logan than a friend, a co-worker. Somehow, I’d begun to care for him.

  HEAT FROM HIS BODY SEARED my back as he pushed me up against the wall. His hand gripped my hair, the aggressive move causing me to shiver in anticipation. The weight of his body against mine was solid and real. His erection pressed against me, and my ass pressed into his crotch, making him groan.

  “You want this, don’t you, Ashley?” he asked in a low voice as he tugged on my hair, forcing my head to tilt back.

  Fuck, yes.

  His grip tightened on my hair. “Say it. Say you want me.” His barely restrained lust triggered heat to curl in my body.

  His other hand went to my stomach, pushing me tighter to him, but my pussy ached for his hand to move lower. “Yes, yes, I want you.” I wanted to tell him to, but I had a feeling he’d stop if I gave him an order.

  His hand slipped under my shirt and the sensation of his bare skin on mine felt amazing. His fingers inched down and slipped under my panties. “Fuck, you’re so hot. I knew you would be.”

  I heard a buzzing and I groaned as I slowly came awake, checking my phone to see a message from Kristen about lunch later today. I put the phone down and closed my eyes to remember the delicious dream, which was the hottest sexual encounter I’d ever experienced. I wasn’t ready for reality. I moved my hand down my stomach into my panties, which were soaked. I slowly circled my clit as I remembered the feel of him pressed against me. Using more pressure, I tried to mimic how it would feel if it were his fingers, slipping a finger inside me as I moaned.

  I imagined his hand cupping me, I whimpered as his other hand squeezed my breast, and his thumb brushed my nipple. My fingers furiously rubbed my clit until I came hard. I laid there for a few seconds enjoying the feeling before reality set in.

  I’d dreamt of Logan—I’d know that voice anywhere. It was low and gravely. Everything about that dream was hot—his voice, the dirty words, the intensity. Too bad I would only ever experience that in a dream.

  Somehow I knew Logan would be like that in real life. After last night’s debacle, he was probably pissed at me, but all I wanted to do was feel his bare skin on mine, his fingers in me, and his cock—

  What was I thinking? This man turned me inside out. I was drawn to him, yet annoyed with the way he treated other women. This was the man I was competing with for a job—the one who’d stop at nothing to get it. And I would stop at nothing to get it. Men were not in the equation right now. Hadn’t I seen my parents fight over my mom’s sacrifice of her career enough? I knew what happened when a guy came between a woman and her career. I’d regret it just like my mom did.

  Even if he didn’t interfere with my plans, men could hurt you. I couldn’t forget what Greg had done either. Maybe I’d have time for a man after my job was settled and I was on track to become partner. It wouldn’t be easy, but Jillian was married and had children. I would marry a man who was safe and trustworthy—one whose past girlfriends wouldn’t pop up. I closed my eyes and stretched, thinking about the dream. Dream-Logan was hot.

  I was practically vibrating with energy when I went to meet Logan for our run. Not only had we left things last night badly, but I couldn’t get that dream out of my head. My face flushed when I walked up to him, but he barely looked at me. Clearly, he didn’t have any sex dreams about me. “Ready?” he asked as I went through some light warm-ups.

  “Sure.”

  We started on a slow jog. It was a chilly, damp morning but it still felt good to be out.

  “I think it would be a good idea if we stopped running toge
ther,” Logan said.

  “What? Why?” His words tore through me and I stopped running.

  “You’re running three miles now. You don’t need my help. I’ve taught you everything you need to know to stay in shape for the race.” Then he took off again.

  I stood there and watched him run away. I screwed up last night. Why couldn’t I let it go? Who cared if the ladies love him? I needed to stop acting so crazy around him. I took off running at a sprint to catch up. “Wait up.”

  When he stopped, I asked, “Can we talk for a minute? I’m sorry about last night. It’s none of my business who you date or how you treat women. I don’t know what got into me. I don’t know you that well.”

  He nodded but still didn’t say anything.

  “I’d like us to be friends. We’re always hanging out in a big group, so we’re going to see each other. I promise I won’t make it awkward anymore.” I’d keep my big mouth shut. Operation Never Tell Logan I Dreamt About his Cock was definitely on.

  “Fine.” His face softened and I relaxed. Even if dating him was a bad idea, I still wanted him in my life.

  “Can I still run with you? Or are you ditching me because I’m too slow?”

  “No, it’s fine. Are you ready, or do you want to keep gabbing all day?”

  I smiled. I hated when Logan was mad at me. I was starting to get a better idea of why that was and I didn’t like it.

  “I’m having lunch with my sister today.” I felt like I was offering him an olive branch in this tentative truce.

  “Oh yeah? She’s younger than you, right?”

  “Yes. Hey! I bet she might know Sadie. I’ll ask her.”

  “I’ve never heard you talk about your family before.”

  “I don’t, or at least I don’t hang out with them much. I’m usually too busy with work.”

  “I see my mom and sister a lot. I make time for them.”

  I watched the affection cross his face when he talked about his family. “Momma’s boy, huh?” I like it. I liked it a lot. “I could see that. You were a little charmer when you were a kid too?”