A Life Worth Living

by Louise Guy

  ‘She told me she loved to spoil them.’

  Poppy gasped when the paper came off her gift. She stared up. ‘How did you know I wanted this Lego? I was going to write to Santa for Elsa’s castle.’

  ‘I guessed. My nie—’ She cleared her throat. She’d nearly messed up. ‘I mean, my Ava, has asked for it non-stop too. She’s only a bit older than you, so I thought you might like it.’

  ‘Wow, I love it.’ The little girl hugged the box to her chest.

  ‘I think your presents are a hit.’ Richard pointed to Dustin. ‘How on earth did you know he’s obsessed with garbage trucks? We won’t hear from him for hours, days even.’

  She laughed when the little boy placed one of the small bins on the opposite side of the kitchen and pushed the truck she’d given him over to empty it.

  ‘Thank you, Eve,’ Jackie said. ‘They’re amazing, really amazing, presents.’

  ‘Come on,’ Richard said to the kids. ‘Let’s leave Mummy and Eve to chat. Poppy, bring the Lego into the playroom and you can use the table to start building it. Dusty, you can bring your truck and bin too.’

  Jackie smiled gratefully as they left the room.

  ‘They’re great kids, Jackie. You guys should be proud.’

  ‘Thanks. Now, a cuppa?’

  ‘I’d love one.’ Leah sat on a stool at the long island bench while her friend started fiddling with the coffee machine.

  ‘How do you have it?’

  ‘White with one.’

  ‘Coming up. You and Leah have the same taste in coffee.’

  ‘Makes it easy to remember.’

  Confusion crossed her friend’s expression. ‘I remember Leah telling me you were the pillar of health. No junk food, no sugar, no alcohol.’

  ‘I’ve fallen off the health wagon a bit since the accident,’ Leah said. ‘Realised I might as well enjoy life. You never know what’s around the corner.’

  Jackie’s eyes met hers. ‘How are you?’

  She stared at her friend. She was the cause of so much pain for Jackie, yet the woman was genuinely concerned about Leah’s sister.

  ‘I’m doing okay. The girls and Sean have helped make things easier. They’re a good distraction.’

  ‘And work too, I guess. Leah always said you worked huge hours.’

  Leah shook her head. ‘No, I haven’t gone back yet. In fact, I start tomorrow. I was supposed to go back once I got the cast off my arm, but decided to leave it a bit longer. I plan to cut back my hours. Losing Leah has woken me up to so many things. The twins were practically being raised by the nanny. I hardly saw Sean, or spent any time with the family. That’s all changed. They’re my life, and I want to make sure they realise that.’

  Jackie placed a cup of coffee in front of her and went back to making a cup for herself. ‘That’s wonderful to hear,’ she said. ‘Leah would be very proud of you. I know she had some reservations about the nanny.’

  She burst out laughing. ‘Some? That’s an understatement. I think you and I both know what Leah thought of my parenting. Don’t worry, she made it very clear I’d been given a gift and wasn’t appreciating it.’

  ‘I’m sure she was just concerned for the girls and you.’

  Leah nodded. ‘Oh yes, I wasn’t suggesting she was mean about it. She was, in fact, very diplomatic but I knew what she was thinking. I didn’t need my twin radar to work that one out. Now let’s talk about you, As Leah has probably told you, I’m very direct.’

  ‘And?’ Jackie asked.

  ‘And, so I need to know what’s going on and why you look like a walking skeleton. Leah would kill you if she could see you. You know that, don’t you?’ She took Jackie’s hand the moment the words left her mouth.

  Her friend would take the words to heart, and she meant her to. They’d upset her.

  Tears spilled down Jackie’s face. ‘I don’t have any desire to eat or do anything. Getting up in the morning is a big enough job. Poor Richard has been left to do nearly everything for the kids. Most days he comes home from work to find me still in my pyjamas and the kids in front of the TV.’

  ‘Oh, Jackie.’ Tears filled her own eyes. ‘That’s not healthy for any of you.’

  ‘I know. Richard wants me to go and see someone. Talk to a psychologist, but even that feels like too big an effort.’

  ‘I can imagine. You should, you know that, don’t you? What would Leah say to you if she could see you now?’

  Jackie sniffled. ‘She’d tell me I was a selfish cow, and to get my shit together and be happy I’m alive.’

  She laughed. ‘I’m not sure she’d say that exactly. I can’t imagine her calling you a selfish cow, but you’re right about getting your shit together. Do it for her. Do it for Richard and the kids. I know a great psychologist. Would you be okay if I made an appointment for you?’

  ‘You don’t have to do that. I’m sure I can get a referral from my doctor.’

  ‘Let me,’ Leah said. ‘That way, I’ll know that you’ve gone and if you don’t I’ll be back on your doorstep and will drive you there myself.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Jackie said. ‘Really, Eve. Thank you.’

  She leant forward and hugged her friend. It was so good to see her, even in this weird situation.

  Jackie stared when they drew apart. ‘You know you’re much more like Leah than I ever imagined. I had a completely different impression of you before now.’

  Heat rose in her cheeks. She needed to inject a bit more Eve into her personality around Jackie.

  If anyone was to see through her act it would be her friend.

  ‘Don’t worry, I’m on my best behaviour,’ she joked. ‘The real me appears after a few hours.’ Leah didn’t let Jackie respond. ‘Tell me more about your kids. I met them that one time at the party in the park Leah had, but I don’t know much about them. What do they like to do?’

  They sat comfortably chatting while they drank their coffee.

  Jackie made them each a second cup and when she got to the end of it, Leah decided it was time to leave. Visiting as Eve she might be overstaying her welcome. As Leah, she would’ve stayed all day and possibly the night, but Jackie didn’t know Eve all that well and a few hours was probably more than enough.

  Richard and the children reappeared to say their goodbyes.

  The smile on Jackie’s face was genuine when she hugged her. ‘Thank you so much for visiting,’ she said. ‘It’s exactly what I needed.’

  ‘Me, too,’ Leah said which was the absolute truth. ‘Can I come back again?’

  ‘Yes!’ both children and Jackie said at the same time.

  Richard laughed. ‘That’s a big definite yes from all of us.’ He put an arm around Jackie. ‘This is the first time in weeks I’ve seen a glimpse of my wife.’

  ‘Ring me,’ Leah said, ‘if she disappears again. We’ve had a chat, which I’m sure she’ll fill you in on.’ Her gaze met her friends’. ‘I’ll organise that appointment tomorrow, and send you the details. No backing out. Promise?’

  She nodded. ‘Promise.’

  ‘And I’ll be back for a visit in a few weeks.’

  Leah hugged Jackie one last time before high-fiving the kids and walking back down the path to her car. She fixed a smile on her face and waved as she drew away from the kerb.

  That smile remained plastered until she turned the corner and burst into tears.

  14

  Leah poured herself a cup of peppermint tea. It was still early, and the house was quiet. Monday had rolled around far too quickly.

  She’d arrived back from Jackie’s only to find Sean and the girls entrenched in a game of Monopoly. She’d joined in and before they knew it, it was dinner time and they all enjoyed a delicious meal of take-away Thai and the remains of the chocolate cake and scrumptious strawberry cheesecake.

  Sean had work to do after dinner, which left Leah to put the twins to bed and read them a story.

  She’d fallen asleep sometime after ten; her late night with Harriet had
caught up with her. She’d woken again at two to find Sean asleep next to her but had no idea what time he’d come to bed.

  Leah couldn’t avoid the issue of sex for much longer, nor could she avoid news of the pregnancy. She was going to have to tell him soon. She had no idea how he’d react. Eve was the one who hadn’t wanted more children. She remembered there’d been talk at one time about Sean wanting another baby, hoping for a boy.

  She sipped her tea. It was after six. She’d left him snoring and was getting a start on the day. She was supposed to be going into the office today for a few hours.

  The office. She’d need to get used to the fact that that meant the real estate office. Not The Melbournian. She was familiar with property from the reporting angle, but had limited ideas of how one went about selling it. How was she going to cope? She’d have to rely on ‘memory loss’ to get her through the day.

  The front door opened.

  Leah’s heart sank a little. Sharing the girls with the nanny was difficult. It was astonishing; in such a short space of time she was jealous of Kate, rather than grateful for her help.

  Eventually the nanny would have to go, but for now it wasn’t practical. She needed to get on top of the work situation first and determine whether cutting her hours back to school hours was even an option.

  She forced a smile when Kate came into the kitchen in her usual faded blue jeans and long tomboy style white shirt. ‘How was your weekend?’

  The nanny hesitated. ‘Um, good, thanks Mrs West.’

  ‘Leah, call me Leah, Mrs West makes me feel really old.’

  Kate stared, her amber eyes widening. ‘Are you okay, Mrs—I mean, Eve?’

  She nodded. ‘Of course, why?’

  ‘You asked me to call you Leah.’

  Leah’s hand flew to her mouth. Had she really done that?

  She took a deep breath hoping to calm her heart rate. For Kate’s benefit, she gave a little laugh. ‘Really? I’m sorry, Kate. Leah’s been on my mind all morning. Obviously more than I realised.’

  Sympathy flooded the young woman’s face.

  God, she needed to be more careful. Leah was doing enough weird things in the eyes of Sean and the twins, as it was. She smiled. ‘I’d better get ready for work. I need to go in to the office today. Would you mind getting the girls organised?’

  Surprise flickered across Kate’s eyes. ‘Mind?’ She laughed. ‘It’s why I’m here. I’ll give them another ten minutes to sleep while I make their lunches and then wake them. Don’t worry, you won’t even hear them, I’ll make sure they don’t interrupt you.’

  Leah wanted to say let them interrupt. Wanted them to run in and throw their little arms around her. But, her call me Leah mess up was probably enough for this morning.

  Leah dressed carefully in one of Eve’s more conservative pantsuits. She felt more like herself in the tailored black pants and jacket, even though she’d never had Gucci in her own wardrobe.

  Her eyes travelled the length of her sister’s extensive shoe collection. While the selection of Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo’s and Louis Vuitton’s was impressive, they were hardly practical.

  How much had Eve spent on shoes? She was staring at thousands and thousands of dollars. Eve wore them to work considering them regular shoes…that blew her away. She might dare to wear a pair if she was going to a wedding or black-tie event, but to work?

  Leah breathed a sigh of relief when she found a pair of ankle length boots. They’d be perfect.

  Sean came into the walk-in robe, his hands slipping around her waist as he drew her to him. ‘Morning, Mrs West.’

  ‘Mr West.’ She laughed and leant up to kiss him.

  He kissed her then held her at arm’s length, eyeing her from top to toe. ‘You’re looking super sexy today. They might not recognise you at the office.’

  Leah smiled, surprised he’d find the more conservative look sexy. ‘They might need to get used to it. I’m thinking I need a new look. More understated. As gorgeous as some of my other outfits are, they don’t feel quite right.’

  Sean laughed. ‘Shame it took you a million dollars in clothes to make that decision.’

  ‘Would you mind if I dressed a bit more casually?’ she asked. ‘I feel like something’s shifted in me, and I can’t explain it, but it doesn’t feel right.’

  He nodded, a twinkle in his eye. ‘Of course, but keep in mind what you’re wearing right now doesn’t look casual. You look incredible. In fact, I might need to get you to take that suit off right now and show me exactly how you put it on.’ He reached for her and started to slip the jacket off her shoulders when giggles and screams erupted from outside the bedroom.

  Sean sighed. ‘Nothing kills the mood better than that.’

  She swatted his arm and moved back into the bedroom.

  Harriet and Ava stopped when they saw her.

  Harriet’s eyes lit up. ‘You look lovely, Mummy,’ she said. ‘Are you going back to work?’

  Leah noticed Ava’s expression fall. ‘Just for a few hours today. I need to catch up on what’s been going on.’ And learn how to be a real estate agent. She ruffled Ava’s blonde hair. ‘What’s wrong, sweetheart?’

  ‘I like it better when you’re home,’ the little girl said. ‘We never see you when you’re at work.’

  She squeezed her tight. ‘That’s going to change. I’m going to talk to Peter about reducing my hours and definitely not working late at night.’ She caught Sean’s surprise above Ava’s head. ‘Is that all right with you?’

  ‘Of course it is.’

  ‘Money will be okay if I was to reduce my hours?’

  He laughed. ‘Eve, I know you’ve forgotten some things but surely my hourly rate isn’t one of them. I know you love your work too much to give it up, but we could more than survive if you did. Cut back to whatever hours you want, if they’ll let you. You’ve always said how they expect long hours. Do you think it will be an option?’

  Leah shrugged. ‘One way to find out.’ She turned to the girls. ‘Now, let’s get your teeth brushed, then we’d better all get going. Kate’s going to drop you at school this morning, so I want lots of cuddles before you go.’

  The twins squealed and rushed to the bathroom.

  Sean moved back to her and took her in his arms again. ‘You’re full of surprises at the moment.’

  She pushed her body against his, feeling him harden against her. ‘Surprises I hope you like?’

  He nodded and ended the conversation by bringing his mouth to hers.

  Leah switched her car off as she parked at North to South Realty. She took a deep breath and pushed open the door of the Prius. It hadn’t been hard to convince Sean she drive Leah’s car until they had time to replace her Audi. She saw no need at all to replace the Audi, but hadn’t told him yet.

  She entered the reception area of the real estate agency, relieved to find Linda, the long-time receptionist sitting at the front desk. She’d known Linda briefly from coordinating visits for properties she’d reported on from The Melbournian, and also from the few times she’d come to the office to meet Eve for lunch.

  ‘Eve!’ The receptionist jumped up from her seat and rushed around to give Leah a hug. ‘We’re so glad you’re back. Everyone’s been worried sick about you, and so upset about Leah.’ Tears filled Linda’s eyes.

  She gave her a squeeze, surprised Linda would feel so emotional. She hardly knew her—as Leah. ‘Thank you. It’s good to be back.’

  ‘Peter will want to see you when he gets in,’ Linda said. ‘Shall I send him down to your office?’

  ‘Yes, please.’ She’d never actually ventured past the reception desk, so finding her office could get interesting.

  ‘I’ll bring you a green tea once you’re settled,’ the receptionist added. ‘I’m sure Penny will be here any minute, too.’ She glanced at the clock. ‘She’s been a little later than usual since you’ve been away.’

  Ugh, green tea. ‘I guess I’ll need to have a word with her abou
t that.’ There was no way Eve wouldn’t let her assistant get away with anything. ‘And actually, a coffee would be great. White with one.’

  Linda stared. ‘Really? I thought you only ever drank it black?’

  She shrugged. ‘Life’s too short to not enjoy things.’

  The receptionist’s eyes filled with tears again.

  She squeezed Linda’s arm. ‘Thank you for caring so much. Leah would be touched.’

  The woman gave a small smile. ‘I’ll get you that coffee.’

  Leah moved away from the reception desk.

  ‘Oh, and Eve,’ the receptionist called, ‘a delivery came for you this morning. It’s on your desk.’

  She took another deep breath and continued down the corridor in the direction Eve always appeared from when they’d met here.

  From the first office she passed, a man waved to her, his face breaking into a delighted grin while he spoke on the phone.

  Eve had spoken of the boss, Peter, and had mentioned Zelda and Curt. As Linda had suggested Peter wasn’t in yet, this must be Curt.

  Leah had met Zelda before briefly at a function so would at least recognise her. From what Eve had said they were not friends; rivals if anything.

  She smiled, seeing the name Eve West in large letters on the outside of one of the office doors. It was the only door to have a name on it. Typical of Eve, but she was grateful on this occasion for her sister’s ego. It’d saved the embarrassment of asking.

  Leah pushed open the door and went inside. She scanned the room.

  A stunning bunch of light pink and white lilies had been positioned in a crystal vase to one side of the desk. Clean lines, expensive furniture, tastefully decorated. The office was definitely Eve.

  She sat in her sister’s chair and took the card from the flowers.

  Welcome back, Eve. I hope you’ll remember us, soon. B.

  Us? A shiver ran down Leah’s spine. She assumed the flowers were from Ben. She moved them off the desk to the window ledge. The very thought of Ben Styles made her uneasy.

  He and Eve obviously had some kind of friendship or connection. Ben wouldn’t be pursuing her if they hadn’t.