Times of Our Lives

by Jane Waterton

  “But they didn’t completely disappear?” Bella asked with a smile.

  Allie closed her eyes. “But…why wouldn’t she say something to me?”

  “You’ve had forty years of hiding those feeling, Allie,” Bella said gently. “If you couldn’t admit them to yourself, how was Meg to know?”

  Bella and Pat watched as Allie struggled to comprehend this revelation.

  “Are you sure?” she whispered.

  Bella smiled. “You don’t have to believe us, Allie. Look into your heart; the answer’s right there.”

  Pat took Allie’s hands and gently pulled her to her feet to envelop her in a hug. “You don’t have to work it all out now,” she whispered quietly. “It’s a lot to take in and you need time to let it settle. You know we’re here if you need us.”

  Allie choked back a sob, her emotions threatening to completely overwhelm her, then hugged them both tightly.

  “I’m sorry, I think I need to go home and think about all this. Do you mind?” she asked, already heading for the door, gathering her bag and jacket.

  “I’d be happy to drive you,” Pat offered, following Allie to the front door.

  “No, the walk will do me good, maybe help clear my head. Thank you so much for dinner. I’ll call you tomorrow,” she promised, waving good night.

  Allie walked home in a daze. Twenty minutes later, she was surprised to find herself sitting in her own kitchen with a half-drunk cup of tea in her hand and no real awareness of how she got there. Thinking back over her conversation with Bella and Pat, she kept coming to the same realisation.

  “She loves me,” Allie said aloud. “She’s always loved me. I’ve just been too stupid to see it.”

  Closing her eyes, she let the words sink in, feeling the mixture of emotions they elicited. Resting her head in her hands, Allie sighed deeply.

  “Oh, Meg, what the hell am I going to do now?”

  CHAPTER 26

  Meg was thinking about her future. Dressed, and with her bag packed, she sat on her bed waiting for Jenny Wilcox to discharge her. After spending so many days desperate to go home, now that the time was finally here, she found herself strangely reluctant to leave the safe confines of the room. She kept telling herself it was because she was nervous about her health, but the reality was that she was more afraid of what lay ahead.

  Jenny knocked as she entered and Meg looked up, studying her closely.

  “So, finally ready to get out of here?” Jenny asked.

  “Yes. I thought it would never happen,” Meg sighed, fiddling with her watch. “Pat and Bella should be here soon to collect me and then I’ll be out of your hair.”

  Seeing Meg’s agitation, Jenny put her stethoscope to her ears. “Just once more, for old time’s sake?” she prompted with a smile, indicating the stethoscope.

  Rolling her eyes and grumbling about over-protectiveness, Meg opened her shirt for the examination. When she was satisfied, Jenny removed the stethoscope and sat next to Meg.

  “Well, it all seems to be perfect physically, so you should have no fears about a relapse. The chance of another heart attack is very slight. You are in excellent shape for a woman of your age and if you keep up the exercise regime that Casey has prepared for you, you should have many more years of good health. However, I will be insisting on check-ups at six-month intervals, just to make sure.” She looked at Meg sternly. “I know we’ve had this conversation before, but I’ll tell you again. If there are any symptoms at all, you must come and see me immediately. You simply cannot afford to ignore any signs. They happen for a reason.”

  Meg coloured. She understood how foolish she had been by not bringing her symptoms to the attention of medical staff. Whilst that embarrassed her, it paled in comparison to the impact it had had on her relationship with Allie. Nodding, she promised to let Jenny know the minute she felt any unusual twinges.

  At that moment, Pat and Bella strolled through the door, ready to escort her home. Once again her eyes flittered past them, and once again she battled disappointment when she realised they were alone.

  “So,” grinned Pat, “now can we take this old broad home with us?”

  Jenny laughed at the glare Meg directed at Pat. “Yes, she’s been cluttering up this room for far too long. Take her home and try and make sure she stays out of trouble.”

  “Chance would be a fine thing,” Pat quipped, rolling her eyes.

  Standing, Meg poked Pat in the ribs whilst piercing her with a familiar glare. “In case you had forgotten already, I’m in this room, you know, and there is no need to be quite so rude.”

  Bella shook her head. “Take no notice, Meg; we’re delighted to be taking you home. It’s going to be wonderful to have you back with us all again.”

  A nurse appeared with a wheelchair, and Meg groaned. “Oh for goodness sake! After all the rehab I’ve done over the last three weeks and you want to wheel me out of here?”

  Jenny laughed. “Medical policy, Meg. Only way out the front door is in one of these.”

  Meg sat in the chair, and Pat grabbed the handles, laughing. “This may be the only chance I ever get to push Meg around.”

  Waving goodbye to the rehab staff, they made their way to the car park. As Pat attempted to help her into the car, Meg turned on her.

  “Honestly, Pat, I think I can get into a car by myself!” Seeing Pat’s reaction and the shock on Bella’s face, Meg closed her eyes in embarrassment and sighed. “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. I know you’re trying to help. It’s just that I’m so tired of feeling like an invalid. Being in hospital for weeks and having people always doing everything for me has worn me to a frazzle. I have never been good at accepting help, and I am still getting used to this level of dependence.”

  “Well, I think you might need to keep working on it,” Bella admonished. “Being able to reach out and ask when you need something is a lesson I thought you would have learnt by now.”

  Meg quietly settled into the back seat, struggling to think of an appropriate response to Bella’s sharp comment before deciding to let it go. Being defensive with her friends was not going to help matters.

  Bella turned to face Meg. “Talking of asking for help, Allie came to dinner with us the other night. We had an…interesting evening.”

  Meg watched as Bella glanced at Pat, who remained steadfastly focussed on the road ahead; she was aware of an unspoken message underlying the words.

  “Interesting how?” she asked gruffly.

  “Let’s talk about this some more when we get you home; we’re nearly there,” replied Bella.

  As the car drew closer to the village turnoff, Meg’s unease about seeing Allie escalated. She had been mulling over what Bella had said, but was still no clearer about her next step. She suspected that Allie’s absence from the visitor’s list was a pretty clear confirmation that Allie was still not talking to her. In fact, the more time that passed with no word from her, the more Meg truly worried that there may not even be a friendship worth salvaging.

  As Pat turned the car into the driveway leading to OWL’s Haven, Meg sat back, stunned. All the way along the driveway were handmade signs welcoming her home. Seeing Pat’s grin in the rear vision mirror, Meg shook her head in disbelief. When they pulled up outside her cottage, Meg was amazed to see the crowd of residents waiting to greet her.

  Turning to her, Bella smiled. “Are you ready for this?”

  Meg scanned the expectant faces. The one face she was looking for was not there, but the others seemed genuinely pleased to have her home. Nodding her agreement, Meg climbed out of the car and into the arms of Daphne, who gave her an enthusiastic hug.

  When Meg paled, Sparrow put her hand on Daphne’s arm. “Honey, I know Meg’s survived her heart attack, but I think she is probably still a little fragile.”

  Dropping her arms, Daphne stepped back in alarm.
“Oh Lord, Meg, I’m so sorry. Are you all right? Did I hurt you?”

  Meg took a deep breath and smiled at Daphne. “No, it was just what I needed after being away from you all for so long.”

  After several minutes of exuberant greetings, Bella and Pat ushered Meg into her cottage. Despite her reputation for hating any fuss and emotion, Meg found herself thoroughly enjoying the welcome and good wishes from so many friends and neighbours.

  When the guest of honour began to visibly fade, Caro and Louise joined Bella and Pat in easing the crowd out the door.

  “So, how are you feeling?” Louise asked, sitting on the sofa with Meg and Bella.

  Meg smiled tiredly. “Honestly? I’m a little overwhelmed. I really didn’t expect such a welcoming committee, but I am incredibly touched by their kindness.”

  “Well, Meg, we’ve always said we’re a family,” Caro said. “When something’s wrong with one of us, the others will rally around. I don’t think you realise just how many people care about you.”

  Meg, noticeably struggling with her emotions, was relieved when Bella redirected the conversation.

  “Now, practical matters,” she announced. “Several people have dropped off food for you. There’s probably enough in your freezer to keep you going for six months. There are also the staples like eggs, bread and milk, all fresh and stacked away. Your sheets have been changed and the hot water service has been turned back on. Everything is as it was.”

  Meg rose and took Bella’s hands. She felt a wave of emotion wash over her, aware of how far that statement was from the truth on so many levels.

  “Thank you all so much for all you’ve done for me,” she said shakily. “It’s so wonderful to be in my own home again and surrounded by so many people who care.”

  Louise stood and kissed Meg on the cheek. “You know where we are; if there’s anything you need just give us a call. The clinic nurse will drop in to see you each day while you settle back into your own routine. We’ll catch up over the next couple of days and have a chat about medical matters. In the meantime, just relax and get plenty of rest.”

  She and Caro left, and Bella rose to put her arm around Meg’s shoulders.

  “You look very tired, my friend. Are you going to be able to manage here by yourself?”

  Meg smiled wanly. “Yes, Bella. I just need to lie down for a while, but thank you again so much for your care and support.”

  “OK, we’ll head off now, but give us a call when you wake up to let us know all is well. Please remember, if we don’t hear from you, we’ll be knocking on your door,” she warned.

  Meg closed the front door behind Bella and Pat, then walked into her bedroom and unpacked her bag. She was delighted to find that the room had been cleaned and tidied, but on her chest of drawers sat a broken frame with a note attached. She read:

  Meg,

  Welcome home!

  Found this broken on the floor. Cleaned up the glass but wasn’t sure if you wanted to keep the frame or get a new one.

  Sally

  As she turned the frame over, her breath caught in her throat as Allie’s smiling face stared back at her. It was her favourite photo of the two of them, on holidays in Banff. Frowning, she wondered how it had been broken. Maybe she had dropped it the night of the heart attack. Her memories of that night were still not clear. Holding the photograph to her chest, she closed her eyes, anguished by the uncertainty between them.

  “Oh, for heaven’s sake, this is damned ridiculous. You are many things, Meg Sullivan, but a coward is not one of them,” she admonished herself.

  With newfound resolve, Meg brushed her hair and freshened her lipstick. She considered changing her clothes, but realised she was just delaying the inevitable. This had to be done and it had to be done now.

  Meg marched out the front door and stared across the road at Allie’s cottage. Her car wasn’t in the carport and there was no sign of life, but Meg needed to go over and check for herself, just to make sure. Taking a steadying breath, she walked over and knocked loudly on the door. There was no response, so she knocked once again and called out. Finally, using her key, she let herself inside. As she opened the door and walked through the cottage, Meg instinctively knew that not only was Allie not there, but she hadn’t been there for several days. In the kitchen, Meg was not surprised to have her thoughts confirmed.

  “Hmmm, no milk, the stove is off and fridge is almost empty. You really aren’t here, are you?” Meg said sadly into the empty space. Feeling defeated, she let herself out and slowly made her way back home.

  CHAPTER 27

  Allie sat in the beer garden of the local Berry pub, a crisp white wine in front of her, deep in her own thoughts. Two days earlier she’d packed a bag and left her cottage with no real idea of where she was going, just knowing that she had to leave before Meg returned. She’d booked into a local bed and breakfast and had spent her time walking along the beach, trying to redefine the last forty years and come to terms with the predicament she’d found herself in.

  She knew she was running away, but she still hadn’t formulated exactly how she felt about the discussion with Bella and Pat the previous week. She’d tossed and turned for nights as Meg’s pending return drew closer. Bella’s words kept running through her head: “The six million dollar question is, do you love her?”

  If this scenario had played out three months ago, Allie’s answer would have been an unequivocal yes, but with Meg’s heart attack, it felt as if everything had changed.

  She thought back across the years that she and Meg had known each other. The adventures, the near misses, the fun and laughter they had shared. The only time they had really been apart was after Allie had started her relationship with Julia. Much to Allie’s distress, Meg and Julia had never gotten along. Three days after Julia announced she and Allie were moving in together, Meg came by to say she was leaving for Paris. Nothing Allie could say would change her mind, and two days later, Meg flew out of her life. Other than a few postcards and the occasional phone call, nearly two years went by without any contact from Meg at all.

  Then just as suddenly as she had left, Meg was back, with Francoise, a tall, gorgeous French woman she’d met in Paris. They set up house several suburbs away from Allie and Julia. At first, Allie had just been thrilled to have Meg back in town, but she’d soon found herself resenting Francoise and what she perceived as her leaching off Meg’s good nature. With Meg’s return, Allie’s relationship with Julia had begun to deteriorate, and six months later, Julia’s resentment had finally boiled over.

  “All you want to do is spend time with Meg. Honestly, I don’t know what you have to talk about. You don’t do anything except cook at that stupid restaurant!” Julia accused her angrily one night.

  That smarted. Allie’s five-star Sydney restaurant was always convenient to drop into conversation when Julia was trying to impress a friend or colleague.

  “Perhaps the fact that she appreciates me and my skills has something to do with it,” Allie replied. “You’ve always been jealous of my friendship with Meg.”

  “I thought when we started going out together that I would have all of you. Unfortunately, I was wrong, because the bigger part of you has always belonged to Meg and that’s never going to change.”

  Allie threw her hands in the air. “Again with this conversation. When are you going to let this go?”

  Julia took a breath. “All right, let’s do this, right here, right now.”

  Allie frowned, feeling her anger build. “Do what exactly?”

  “I’m giving you an ultimatum. I want you to cut your ties with Meg totally. We can just go back to how it was before Meg came back from France. Can you do that?”

  Allie stared at her in amazement. “Are you serious?”

  “As far as I’m concerned, it’s the only way this relationship can keep going. I’m sick and tired of playing
second fiddle to another woman. If you love me enough, you’ll give her up. Otherwise, it’s not fair to ask me to stay.”

  Allie continued to stare at her in disbelief, then started to laugh. Suddenly, the whole situation seemed to have resolved itself with a clarity that surprised her.

  Taken aback, Julia smiled. “Is that a yes?”

  Allie shook her head, still bemused by Julia’s suggestion. “No. I’m sorry, but I could no more give up Meg than I could give up breathing. She’s my closest friend and has been for nearly twenty years and I don’t give up my friends for anyone. The fact that you would even ask me shows that this relationship is even more doomed than I thought.” She paused for a moment, studying Julia’s surly expression. “I do, however, think you’re right about one thing. It is unfair of me to ask you to stay, so please, feel free to leave whenever it is convenient.”

  When Julia packed her belongings and walked out two nights later, Allie realised the enormity of what she’d done. Her instinctive reaction was to ring Meg. Within the hour, Meg was on her doorstep, offering sympathy and a shoulder to cry on. For some reason, Allie was reluctant to tell Meg of Julia’s accusations regarding their friendship, instead alluding to general jealousy as the reason for their breakup.

  Within weeks, Meg and Allie easily fell back into their old routine and it was several months before Allie realised that Francoise was no longer around.

  “She went back to Paris,” Meg confessed when questioned.

  “Why didn’t you tell me? What happened?”

  Meg shrugged. “It ran its course; it ended. No big deal.”