Starting Over in Texas

by Jessica Keller

  “We did, Violet.” Mrs. Jennings squeezed her hand. “We still do, actually.” She exchanged a glance with her husband. “Maybe it’s too late, but we would love to reconnect with you and—” She looked to her kids, who both made a hurry up motion. “And ask you to start doing things with our family again, if you’d welcome that.”

  For the rest of the evening, Violet kept looking back over to the table where the Jenningses were seated, as if to make sure they were real.

  They had wanted her.

  This whole time.

  Would her life have played out differently if she hadn’t run off that night?

  Violet would never know.

  She had told them she would take them up on their offer and they could see what happened from there. Of course, she wouldn’t live with them again or truly act like one of their children, but after everything, at least she knew there were people in the world who loved her.

  That’s all that mattered, right?

  The hollow feeling in her heart gave the wrong answer.

  Howard waved at Violet from across the packed room. Ryker was at his side, a model service dog. When she saw Rhett again, she’d have to let him know how well his first trainee was doing.

  If she ever saw Rhett again.

  Violet rubbed the back of her neck.

  Boone led the room in a time of prayer for Silas, then he pulled numbers for a raffle Patrick was hosting. Everything that was up for grabs had been donated by Chick-N-More. Violet reminded herself to eat here more often.

  Then it hit her once again that she wouldn’t be in the area much longer. Only for quick visits with the Jenningses and whenever there was a nearby rodeo.

  When it was her turn to take over the mic, Violet rounded up the jars and declared Super Silas the winner of the best superhero competition. Everyone in the room burst into cheers. Violet searched the sea of faces for the one that she knew would calm her nerves, the one who would make her comfortable. The set of eyes that had become home to her.

  She found Boone across the room. Sound fell away as they made eye contact and for a heartbeat, it was just the two of them and she wondered if, despite everything, they could make something work. If anyone ever asked, she would never deny that she loved Boone Jarrett. Loved him enough to do what was best for him and Hailey. Leave without complications, without burdening their life anymore. Leave before she hurt them more than she already had.

  She snapped back to attention when people began pounding on the tables. She was supposed to give the wrap-up talk.

  Violet forced a smile. Hopefully they couldn’t tell that she was breaking apart inside. Because walking away from Boone was the most difficult and painful thing she had ever done.

  She thanked everyone for coming, then took a deep breath. “I also wanted to announce that I’m officially rejoining the rodeo circuit. For my first race back I’m going to enter the jackpot race and any winnings I receive will go directly into the Super Silas fund.” This time when she scanned the room, she made sure to skip over where she knew Boone was stationed. “So if you happen to make it out to the show, stop by and cheer me on.”

  As the event ended, people surrounded her. They kept congratulating her and asking her to sign things for them. Some promised they would attend her next run or they would look up her schedule now that she was back in the circuit. The Jenningses walked outside with her and she hugged down the line of them. Mrs. Jennings made her settle on a time for a phone call in the next week and then they headed on their way.

  When Violet turned toward her truck, Hailey blocked her path.

  Hailey pursed her lips. “I thought Hawken was hurt.”

  At the sight of the little girl, a ball of emotion lodged in Violet’s throat. Violet tried to swallow around it, but doing so made her chest ache. “Your uncle Wade said I could borrow Disco for the season.” Violet planned to head back, hook up her trailer, load up Disco and leave before anyone else returned. “It was actually your dad’s idea.” A sad little laugh escaped from Violet’s lips. “He wants me to go back to the rodeo. And he’s right, it’s time.”

  Hailey eyed her.

  “I have to go.” Violet’s voice wavered. “How about one more hug, squirt?”

  Hailey raised an eyebrow, but obliged. “Why are you acting funny?”

  Because I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again.

  Violet ran her hand over the little girl’s soft hair. “Just know that I love you so much, okay? Don’t ever question that.”

  Hailey’s eyes went to something behind her so Violet pivoted to see what she was looking at. Boone. He was smiling and shaking hands with people on the other side of the parking lot.

  Violet reached for her truck’s door. She had to get out of there but she also didn’t want Hailey to ever have to question things or wonder like Violet had at her age. Violet took a deep breath. “Your dad is a good guy, Hailey. The best guy. And he’s working so hard to be the dad you need, okay? Sometimes that means making hard choices and sometimes that means things might happen that you don’t like or understand, but just know he loves you and I love you no matter what. Does that make sense?”

  The little girl quirked an eyebrow. “How about my dad? Do you love him?”

  Violet couldn’t help the tears that gathered in her eyes. “Yes,” she whispered. She wouldn’t lie to Hailey. “I’ll always love your dad, too.” She laid her hand on her chest. “You will both forever have a home in my heart. Don’t ever doubt that.” She would turn into a blubbering mess if she stayed any longer. So she jerked the door open and climbed inside. “Be good, squirt.”

  Hailey backed away from the truck and waved goodbye.

  As she drove away, Violet glanced in the rearview mirror a dozen times or more, each time wondering if this was the last glimpse she would ever have of the two people who would always hold her heart.

  * * *

  When Violet hadn’t shown up at the office the next morning, Boone had chalked it up to a late night. Maybe she was sore or had to work extra with Hawken. There was a chance Wade had asked for more help with the new horses as well. But when Violet hadn’t made an appearance by noon, worry started to gnaw away at any focus Boone might have had before.

  They hadn’t talked—really talked—since their argument in the indoor arena. And there was still so much awkwardness between them from what had happened on the Fourth of July. After Hailey had overheard them fighting, Boone thought the best thing for her was to focus all his attention on his daughter. But when he prayed about it, he had realized that Violet had become important to both him and Hailey so he needed to get to the bottom of what had upset her so much the other day. For the present, he prayed he could be the friend she needed without pursuing more. Boone sighed. He would hope for more one day, but for now, it would be enough to know Violet was in a good place and was continuing to heal after all she had endured. He would keep healing, too, and maybe someday be able to gain her trust.

  Her phone went to voice mail and texts went unanswered. Why did people own phones if they never had them on?

  Boone worked his jaw back and forth.

  He wanted to tell her how proud he was of her for deciding to use Disco in the rodeos. Riding someone other than Hawken had to have been a difficult choice for her. But her joy in the arena the other day had been palpable. It was important to Boone that she knew he fully supported her choice to pursue something she so clearly loved doing. Boone had never had that moment with June, so he wasn’t about to miss doing whatever he could to be there for Violet’s dreams.

  When the front door of the office finally opened, Boone practically pounced. But it was Wade, not Violet, who stood in the entryway.

  Wade gave him a half smirk. “Don’t look so disappointed to see me.”

  Boone shoved his hand through his hair. “I just thought you were going to be Violet.”


  “Now I get why you’re disappointed.” His little brother winked in an exaggerated manner. “She’s much prettier than me, though I’m not so bad.”

  Boone snorted. “Much is an understatement.”

  Wade suddenly sobered. He cocked his head as his eyes narrowed. “She didn’t tell you.” He turned to the side, rested his hands on his belt and blew out a loud stream of air. “Wow, I can’t believe she didn’t tell you.”

  “Tell me what?” His brother wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Wade?” He practically growled his name.

  “Violet’s gone, Boone.” Wade hooked his hand on the back of his neck. “Like, gone, gone.”

  “You mean she left for the rodeo?” Boone spoke slowly. “I was there last night. I heard the announcement.” Although Boone hadn’t thought that meant the very next day, but even if it did, she would go to the event and then come right back. Red Dog Ranch would be her home base. They’d established that, hadn’t they?

  Wade grabbed Boone’s shoulder, offering a squeeze. “She left for good, Boone. She asked me not to say anything to you at the event but I figured that was because she was planning on telling you in person afterward.” Wade scuffed the toe of his boot against the ground. “That she would at least say goodbye. I promise, I tried to convince her to change her mind or at least give it a few days before making a decision.”

  “But she’ll be back, won’t she?”

  Wade shook his head. “After the event she came back here to load Disco into her trailer. She told me she was going to have to drive through the night to hit the next location on the circuit. It didn’t sound like she had any intention of returning.”

  Boone blocked out whatever Wade said next. He wouldn’t listen until he had proof. He sidestepped his brother to get out of the office and then broke into a sprint, heading toward the horse barn. She wouldn’t have left Hawken behind.

  Hawken is my family.

  She would never leave that horse.

  Boone shoved into the barn and strode directly to Hawken’s stall. The horse lifted his head and nickered. With a sigh, Boone’s muscles relaxed. He held a hand out to Hawken, who instantly flooded his palm with his warm puffs of air. For a minute, Boone rested his forehead along Hawken’s long nose. He’d never been a big fan of horses, but Violet loved this one so Boone had learned to do the same.

  He heard Wade’s labored breaths not far behind him.

  “If he’s here, she’s not gone.” He stood up straighter and stroked Hawken’s neck. “Not for good.”

  Wade came up behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Sometimes people do have to make the hard choice to leave behind the ones they love. Sometimes they think it’s for the best or they convince themselves they had no other choice.” Boone knew Wade was speaking from experience. His younger brother had faked his own death, abandoning his entire family for five years before resurfacing. The whole time Wade had believed it was better for everyone if he wasn’t in their lives.

  Wade’s sigh sounded like it cost him something. “Boone, she packed up her bunkhouse and returned the key. It doesn’t get much clearer than that. She’s gone.”

  “Who’s gone?” Hailey’s voice caused both men to turn toward her. Piper had her cat cradled like a baby in her arms and Hailey stood next to her. Boone had forgotten they often played around the barn together when Cassidy was tied up in the kitchen.

  Boone rolled his shoulders. The reality that Violet left without saying goodbye made his chest feel hollowed out. Now he had to tell Hailey that they had another loss to face together. “Violet’s gone, Hailey. She doesn’t live on the ranch anymore.”

  Hailey quickly shook her head back and forth.

  Boone took a knee in front of her. “It’s going to be okay.” He reached for her.

  Hailey shoved his hand away. “This is your fault. This is all your fault.” Her voice shook. “You told her to take Disco and leave.”

  “No, sweetheart.” Boone kept his voice calm, belying the storm of emotions churning through his chest. “I didn’t tell her to leave.” He reached for her again and she stepped back, the motion twisting his insides. “Hailey, remember, our family is you and me and we’re going to get through this. I promise.”

  Hailey’s tiny hands balled at her sides. “You’re wrong. Violet’s our family, too. She told me.” Hailey pounded on her chest as her tears flowed. “She said we live in her heart. That’s family, Dad. That means we’re her family.” Hailey’s little face screwed up. “Don’t you like her? She wouldn’t go unless she thought you didn’t like her.”

  He had loved her and it wasn’t enough. But that wasn’t something he thought Hailey could comprehend. “Sometimes grown-ups just have to leave.”

  “No,” Hailey said loudly. “She said she loved you. She told me, Dad.” Hailey’s shoulders shook as she wiped her eyes. “Why did you let her go?”

  Boone’s mouth opened, then closed. When had Violet said all of these things to Hailey?

  Did it matter?

  Violet had run from Boone since day one and he had made a fool of himself pursuing her. She had pushed him away every chance she had gotten. And when the opportunity to leave the ranch had arisen, it seemed as if she had jumped at the chance to hightail it away from him.

  If he stepped away from his feelings where she was concerned, Boone could even accept that her leaving was for the best. What had he been playing at, falling for someone like Violet? Violet lived an exciting and fast-paced life, and he was a book lover who would rather stay home. She had a career that kept her traveling, and Boone and Hailey needed roots and family. Boone was on course to become a pastor—so despite what was in his heart, Violet wasn’t an option for him. Besides, Violet’s career choice was dangerous. Boone had already lost someone he loved, so it was best not to completely fall for someone he could lose so easily again.

  She was gone and it was for the best.

  Maybe someday he’d actually believe that.

  Chapter Twelve

  Two weeks had passed since Violet left Red Dog Ranch. In that time she had donated two jackpot wins to the Super Silas fund, so Boone assumed she was doing well. This week closed out the last week of Camp Firefly and while Boone had enjoyed working with the campers, he was relieved it was almost done. Boone had gotten used to running the ranch and the camp sessions on his own, but he missed working alongside Violet.

  He just missed Violet. Period.

  Rhett had called a few days ago with the good news that Silas’s recovery continued to go well and it was looking as if he would be released from the hospital sometime soon. They would then have to stay within thirty minutes of the hospital for six weeks before finally coming home. It would be autumn before Rhett, Macy and Silas were back at Red Dog Ranch. Shannon and Carter would be back from South America by then, too, and Wade and Cassidy’s baby was on track to be born around the same time. The whole family would be together.

  Yet someone important would be missing.

  Boone shook that thought away.

  That weekend after the last of the campers left, Boone decided to roam his family’s property while he prayed by name for each of the foster kids who had spent time at the ranch that summer. He carried a list with him and worked his way down it one by one. He prayed for God to work in their lives and prayed for their futures.

  Soon after Violet had left, Boone had decided he had two choices: mope or use his energy toward things that mattered. He had chosen the latter. Deciding to view the foster children at the ranch through the lens of understanding Violet had afforded him. He had kept her in mind while he reworked his chapel messages, making sure to balance out hope with truth and offer tangible ways to deal with what felt like unanswered prayers and broken dreams. He also made sure he addressed how to combat feelings of unworthiness.

  He often ended up at the cross near the little chapel where he prayed ove
r the words the kids had written on their rocks. However, while he made his way up the hill today, he noticed two people standing near the cross. It was the weekend and most of the ranch’s staff had left for their day off. No one besides his family was expected on the property today.

  The man and woman huddled together. The woman bent to lay a bouquet of cheerful yellow flowers at the foot of the cross, then she turned into the man’s shoulder and loudly started to cry. Boone had no desire to disturb such a moment, but he did need to see what they were doing at the ranch. His boot crunched on the path and the couple glanced his way.

  “Sorry,” Boone said. “I didn’t mean to intrude. But I live here and I wanted to see if I could help you.”

  The woman pulled a wad of tissues from her pocket and dabbed at her eyes. “We didn’t mean to encroach, either. It’s just, we met as campers here.” Her chin quivered as she looked to her husband.

  He cleared his throat. “We both grew up in the foster system and we met here.” He tipped his head toward the cross. “We met God here, too, and that changed everything.” He brushed hair from his wife’s face. “We were married at this chapel. Your dad walked her down the aisle to me.”

  The woman nodded. “Then we had a baby.” The last word was distorted by a sob. She covered her face and held up her other hand. “I’m sorry. I need a minute.”

  The man wrapped his arm tighter around his wife. “Our son didn’t make it.” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “We donated his organs and given the timing and location we’re pretty sure his heart saved Rhett and Macy’s son.”

  Boone’s mouth went dry. He scrubbed his hand over his jaw. Boone had faced losses in his own life, yet he still wasn’t sure what to say. Grief was so individual in how it worked. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

  The woman dabbed at her eyes again. “You’re the brother who lost his wife, aren’t you?”

  Boone laid his hand on his chest. He wasn’t surprised that they knew. Many of the foster families kept up on the Jarretts and the ranch. “Yes, ma’am, I am.”