The Cowboy's Christmas Baby

by Cathy McDavid

  She had just finished putting a bottle of pumped breast milk in the refrigerator when she heard his knock. The skip her heart made in response was irritating. Apparently, she hadn’t been listening to the talk she’d given herself earlier.

  “Come in.” She opened the door wide.

  “You okay?” he asked, removing his cowboy hat.

  “Yeah. Why?”

  He pointed. “You have that funny crease in your forehead you get when you’re mad.”

  “I do?” She ran her fingertips across her forehead and schooled her features into a semblance of calm. “It’s nothing.”

  Tanner’s attention was already elsewhere. “Hey, look at you!” He covered the small room in three long strides to where Ava sat in a foam baby seat in the middle of the floor. He dropped to his knees in front of her. “You’re sitting up. Like a big kid.”

  Ava broke into the wide toothless grin she reserved just for Tanner and flailed her arms.

  “I just started using it today.” Jewel came over to stand beside them.

  He reached out his hand, and Ava grabbed the closest finger as she’d done before. “She seems to like it.”

  “Makes feeding her rice cereal easier. That’s also something new we started this week. I was about to give her some when you knocked on the door.” She went over to the kitchen unit where the warmed bowl of cereal sat. “I wasn’t sure she’d like solid food, but she’s taking to the cereal pretty well. It’ll help Tracee keep her content when I’m gone for more than a couple hours.”

  “Or help me when I’m taking care of her,” Tanner added.

  Jewel’s breath caught. Was it possible? Would Tanner be taking care of Ava without her around?

  More than possible. It was likely. Inevitable.

  Realistically, there was no connection between Tanner attempting to cheat and his ability to care for Ava. Even so, she couldn’t stop herself from trying to make one.

  She started forward. By the time she reached him, he was galloping the stuffed pony in front of Ava, whose lopsided grin widened. The cuteness overload wasn’t enough to diminish Jewel’s anxiety.

  “Can I try feeding her?” he asked.

  “Ah...” She had no valid reason to refuse him. If she did say no, she’d come off as being difficult. Better to save digging in her heels for a bigger battle with higher stakes. She handed him the bowl and spoon. “Small bites.”

  Tanner took to feeding Ava rice cereal as quickly as she’d taken to eating it. Without being told, he blew on the cereal before offering it to Ava. She tracked the spoon as it neared her mouth, opened wide and wiggled her feet while mouthing the cereal.

  “That’s my girl,” Tanner crooned as if she’d accomplished a huge feat.

  His girl?

  Jewel continued watching. He was good with Ava, no denying that. Whatever else he’d done, he appeared to take parenting seriously.

  All right. Maybe his compass wasn’t quite as far off true north as she’d first assumed.

  “I think she’s done,” Tanner announced a few minutes later.

  Jewel had been able to tear herself away and pack her camera equipment for the two scheduled shoots, the Christmas decorations and the wedding this evening.

  “Here, I’ll wash up the bowl and spoon.”

  She bent and reached down at the same moment Tanner unexpectedly stood. Unprepared, they bumped heads.

  “You okay?” he asked, reaching for her.

  The touch of his hand on her skin released a tingling sensation that traveled the length of her arm. It was, Jewel realized, their first physical contact since over a year ago, other than passing Ava back and forth.

  “I’m fine.” She didn’t pull away, and he didn’t remove his hand.

  “You sure?”

  Truthfully, she wasn’t sure of anything. And not all of her disconcertment was the result of finding Tanner after thinking he was gone from her life forever. A lot of it had to do with her lingering attraction to him.

  Darn it! She was supposed to be over him. She was over him. “You should go. Now.”

  His voice deepened. “Is that what you want?”

  “Yes.”

  Why did his grip have be so strong and self-assured? Why did her cheeks burn and her head feel light?

  “All right.” He let his hand drop, and Jewel’s strength evaporated. “See you, kiddo.” He stroked Ava’s downy head. “Have fun with Tracee.”

  Jewel walked him to the door, grateful when it shut behind him. In the very next instant, she scolded herself.

  She needed to forget any notion of a lingering romance between them. They couldn’t work in close proximity and co-parent Ava with Jewel harboring unrequited...what?

  Don’t say it, she warned herself. Don’t even think it.

  Except, she did.

  * * *

  TO SOME, DECEMBER TWELFTH might seem too early for a Christmas-themed wedding. Not to Jewel. Upon entering the chapel for a few practice shots and to determine the best lighting, she released a soft gasp of delight.

  Green and red ribbons with long tails stretching to the floor adorned the ends of each pew. Silver and gold bells hung from the ceiling. Christmas lilies with lovely slender leaves and blossoms resembling white trumpets had been placed throughout. A glittering red carpet adorned the center aisle, and twin miniature pine trees with tiny doves perching on their branches flanked the altar.

  Lifting her camera, Jewel began taking pictures. She’d just moved to a discreet spot near the altar, where she’d have a nice view of the bride and groom, when Emily breezed in. She carried a pair of white unity candles with red ribbons fastened around their bases.

  “There you are.” She made her way to the table behind the altar, where she placed the candles for use later during the service.

  “Just checking on the lighting.” Jewel impulsively snapped a few quick shots of Emily inspecting her handiwork.

  The older woman raised a hand in protest. “Stop that. Don’t you be taking pictures of me when a beautiful young bride is due any second.”

  Jewel joined her at the table and, holding the camera at an angle, showed Emily the photos on the small screen. “See. You look great.”

  “Ha!” Emily scoffed, but she did linger, studying the images.

  “How about I take a portrait of you and your husband? No charge, of course.”

  “A portrait?”

  “Better yet, one of the entire family. You can post it on your website with a holiday wish from Sweetheart Ranch. Or make an ecard and send it to your clients.”

  Emily chuckled, only to immediately sober. “Let me think about it.”

  Jewel figured they’d be arranging a photography session once the idea had a chance to sink in.

  A noise from the foyer alerted them to the bride’s arrival, along with her bridesmaids and parents. The groom was due later, after the bride was sequestered in the private dressing room. Jewel was planning on photographing both bride and groom in their respective dressing rooms getting ready for their big day.

  “It’s showtime,” Emily said gaily and headed for the foyer.

  Jewel followed more slowly, waiting for an introduction. Afterward, she wound her way through the house to the kitchen and the pantry where she’d stowed her purse. Emily had a strict rule—no phone interruptions while on duty. Jewel understood and willingly complied. She was being paid to focus on the couple and their guests, not be on her phone.

  Besides, she wasn’t too worried. Ava was in capable hands and a short walk away. If something were to happen, Tracee could be here in a flash or call the house on the landline.

  Finishing, Jewel headed for the bride’s dressing room and knocked softly on the door. The bride and her bridesmaids were delighted to pose for their getting-ready photos and requested a few shots of the bride and her mother. J
ewel suggested the bride sit on the velvet-cushioned bench next to an antique oval mirror. She then positioned the mother behind her daughter, instructing her to fasten a string of pearls around her daughter’s neck.

  By the time Jewel was done, the groom and his party had arrived and were in his dressing room. Jewel took a series of similar photos with them. She particularly liked a candid shot of the groom and his father, their heads dipped together and the father’s hand on his son’s shoulder.

  Soon, it was time for the wedding to start. Jewel waited anxiously in the entryway outside the chapel with the bride and her father. The wedding dress, a gorgeous gold-and-silver creation with red and gold beading along the hem and neckline, almost perfectly matched the decorations in the chapel. The effect was enhanced by the bouquet of lilies the bride held and the sprigs of holly clipped to her upswept hair.

  The groom’s tuxedo, as well as those of his groomsmen, was a soft gray with dark green stripes down the pant legs and on the jacket cuffs. They wore boutonnieres made of the same holly that was in the bride’s hair.

  The effect should have been corny but was instead stunning. The only thing missing was snow.

  Jewel began snapping pictures and didn’t stop. She couldn’t help thinking that if not for the cheating scandal, she and Tanner would have had a Christmas wedding—though nothing this elegant. Not in Las Vegas, certainly. Still, she might have carried a bouquet of lilies and pinned a sprig of holly to Tanner’s shirt collar.

  A moment later, she chided herself. She and Tanner were a thing of the past. No purpose was served by thinking about what hadn’t happened and never would.

  Why, then, did her mind insist on revisiting that moment from earlier today, when her defenses had been momentarily lowered? It had been right after he’d fed Ava her cereal—which, of course, explained it. Jewel was always at her most vulnerable where her daughter was concerned. She quickly steeled her defenses.

  Slipping quietly to another part of the chapel, she continued photographing the wedding. It was being officiated by Emily’s husband, Homer, a retired minister from one of the local churches. He had a quaint, down-home manner of speaking that, from what Jewel had seen, resonated with the couples and guests.

  Something he’d said had her paying closer attention. He was talking about problems appearing less daunting and storms being easier to weather with a loving and trusted partner.

  The words circled inside Jewel’s head. She’d once trusted Tanner with every fiber of her being and believed them capable of weathering any storm. Then, he’d betrayed that trust, and the storm had hit with a vengeance. She had yet to fully recover.

  Could the change in him have anything to do with his brother? After she and Tanner had split, she’d learned from mutual friends that Daniel had been diagnosed much earlier than people were originally told. According to Tanner, Daniel had hidden his condition, wanting to finish out the year competing before having his surgery.

  Receiving the news that his brother had a brain tumor, might not survive the surgery and would be disabled to some degree if he did survive must have devastated Tanner. He loved his older brother and had always looked up to him. He’d wanted Daniel to win the championship almost as much as he’d wanted to win it himself.

  So why cheat? Jewel couldn’t make any sense of it. Unless she hadn’t known Tanner nearly as well as she thought she had.

  Once the standard postwedding group shots were done, Jewel snuck off for a five-minute break, heading to the kitchen pantry to check her phone. There were no messages or texts. Even so, she called Tracee, who assured her Ava was sleeping soundly.

  The reception was well underway when Jewel reached the parlor. She accommodated numerous requests from guests who wanted photos with an old friend or relatives they rarely saw. The toasts were touching and funny and sentimental. Many a person dabbed at their moist eyes with a tissue.

  Shortly after the cake cutting, Jewel was excused. She congratulated the newlyweds before leaving, letting them know when and how to expect the photographs from her. They thanked her profusely. Emily squeezed her arm and told her what a great job she’d done.

  Jewel was walking three feet off the ground when she returned to the kitchen pantry at a little after 9:00 p.m. It was moments like these when she started to believe she really could make a successful career as a photographer.

  Grabbing her purse, she fished in the side pocket for her phone. The tiny green light flashed, signaling a missed call.

  Three missed calls, to be precise, and two text messages. All from Tracee!

  Pulse racing, Jewel read the first message, the words exploding off the screen like tiny firecrackers.

  Sorry, Jewel, I had to leave. My brother fell and broke his wrist. Taking him to the ER. Called Tanner to watch Ava.

  Jewel was instantly on the move, wrenching open the kitchen door. Only when cold air struck her bare arms did she realize she’d forgotten her jacket. Her camera, still hanging from the strap around her neck, bounced with every frantic step.

  Surely Ava was all right. She’d been asleep when Jewel last spoke to Tracee and usually didn’t wake until one or two in the morning for a feeding and changing. If anyone deserved her worry, it was Tracee’s brother.

  Still, Jewel increased her pace, nearly running now. All the while, she berated herself for not checking her phone more frequently. Ava was just shy of five months old. Tiny and helpless. What kind of mother was Jewel to leave her alone, even in capable hands?

  Except Ava was now with Tanner, who’d had no experience with babies until recently. He would have fetched Jewel at the main house if something were wrong with Ava, yes?

  She was breathing hard when she reached the carriage house. That didn’t stop her from charging up the stairs, her feet pounding on the wooden steps. At the landing, she threw open the door to her quarters—only to come to a grinding halt just inside.

  Tanner sat in the recliner, a sleeping Ava cradled on his lap. He greeted Jewel with a happy smile and an index finger pressed to his lips, warning her to be quiet.

  All that worrying for nothing. Her baby was perfectly fine.

  Jewel, not so much. As she stared at Tanner, she recognized the light shining in his eyes and knew with struck-from-nowhere clarity that those unrequited feelings she didn’t want to admit having weren’t unrequited at all. And with so many unanswered questions and unresolved issues, the timing couldn’t have been worse.

  CHAPTER SIX

  TANNER PUSHED UP from the recliner, careful not to disturb Ava, and carried her to the travel crib. Though her eyes remained closed, her arm jerked reflexively, and she mewed softly.

  Jewel tiptoed over to them and watched with an eagle eye as he lowered Ava into the crib.

  “Lay her on her left side,” she whispered. “That’s how she likes to sleep.”

  Tanner did as Jewel instructed. When he was done, she arranged a yellow blanket over Ava and tucked in the corners, then stood unmoving while staring down at the baby.

  “You okay?” he asked softly.

  She motioned for him to follow and started toward the table. “I practically ran all the way here.” Taking the camera from around her neck, she set it and her phone on the table. “I think I may have overreacted a little when I read Tracee’s text message.”

  “She didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “I’m sure she didn’t. She was upset herself.”

  “Ava slept the entire time—she didn’t even wake up when I knocked on the door.”

  Jewel pushed at her disheveled hair. “I’m still pretty new at this parenting stuff and easily panic.”

  He lowered himself into the chair across from her, observing that the creases marring her lovely brow when she’d first arrived were fading. “You’re doing an incredible job.”

  “You are, too.”

  Her praise pleased him. “
You think?”

  “Yeah, I do.” Her tone contained a hint of surprise.

  He wasn’t offended. He was newer at this parenting stuff than she and constantly surprising himself.

  “Tracee tried to call you,” he said.

  “I didn’t have my phone during the wedding and reception.”

  They continued their conversation in hushed voices, though Ava didn’t stir.

  “How’s her brother?” Jewel asked.

  “Not sure. He and a pal were skateboarding at the park, and he took a bad fall. Guess he toughed it out in front of his pal, but when he got home and saw his swollen wrist, fear took over. Their parents are at a Christmas concert tonight. They probably had their phones shut off, too. When her brother couldn’t reach them, he called Tracee. She felt terrible about leaving Ava.”

  “She didn’t have a choice. Fifteen or not, he’s still her baby brother, and she loves him.”

  Jewel’s phone vibrated, and Tracee’s name appeared on the display. She grabbed the phone and put it to her ear. “She must have heard us talking about her.”

  Their call didn’t last long. From Jewel’s end of the conversation, Tanner deduced that Tracee’s brother had sustained a bad sprain and not a break as was initially feared. They’d finally reached their parents who’d met Tracee and her brother at the emergency room. Tracee was profoundly sorry and promised it wouldn’t happen again.

  “You did the right thing,” Jewel assured her. After that, they confirmed what time tomorrow evening Tracee would be there and said goodbye.

  Jewel expelled a long breath and sank into the chair.

  Tanner asked the question on his mind all during the phone call. “Did she? Do the right thing by calling me?”

  “Yes. Of course.” Jewel sat up. “Ava wasn’t hurt or sick.”

  Her response didn’t exactly reassure Tanner. “Are you saying that if Ava had been hurt or sick, calling me wouldn’t be the right thing?”

  “No. Not at all. I’d hope, in those circumstances, Tracee would have come to the house and found me.”