Finding Mother

by Allen, Anne

  ‘Cheryl! It’s great to see you and you’re…you’re – ’

  ‘Pregnant!’ Cheryl, a bubbly blonde, patted her bump as she laughed at Nicole’s expression. ‘That’s why I was so pleased you phoned. I’m off on maternity leave in a couple of months and we’re having problems finding a replacement. No-one will move to the island just for a temporary job, and you can’t blame them, can you? And there aren’t many experienced reporters on the island. Though for the right person, there might be something long-term.’ Cheryl gazed at Nicole. ‘You didn’t say what brings you here. I thought you were pretty settled with Tom at Bristol. Is he moving over too?’

  Nicole explained about the split and that she’d discovered she had family in Guernsey and wanted to settle there. She didn’t feel it appropriate to mention Ben.

  ‘Oh, Nicole, I’m so sorry about Tom! I thought you two were the perfect couple. Still, c’est la vie! And, being selfish, I’m so glad you’re here.’ She lifted her phone, ‘Tea or coffee?’

  ‘Tea, please.’

  Cheryl ordered the tea and sat on a chair next to Nicole.

  ‘I thought it best if we had a chat before you met the boss. After all, if you’re not happy with the position then you needn’t waste your time. Or his. Right, I’m covering the news and on-screen reporting…’

  Nicole listened as Cheryl described the job. It wasn’t quite what she was used to, in fact she should be able to do it standing on her head, but didn’t say that. Cheryl went on to say that officially she’d only be away on maternity leave, but she might not return.

  ‘Please don’t tell anyone, will you?’ Nicole shook her head. ‘Good. Only my husband’s applying for a job in London and if he gets it then we’re off.’ Cheryl leaned forward as much as her bump allowed, whispering, ‘I’ve not told my boss in case it doesn’t happen. If it did, would you be interested in taking over on a permanent basis?’

  Nicole smiled broadly. ‘You bet! But I’ve got to impress your boss first.’

  Cheryl waved her hand. ‘Oh, that won’t be a problem! You’re perfect for the job. In fact, you’re more than qualified for it.’ She frowned. ‘Are you sure you’d be happy here? It’s not like Bristol…’

  ‘No, it’s not. But that’s fine. I’ll have more time to spend with my family and…friends.’

  Cheryl was proved right. The interview with the boss, a Mr James, had been more of a chat than a searching interrogation. Her CV must have made an impression and, it seemed, Cheryl had sung her praises. She had a job! Or at least she would have in a couple of months. In the meantime she could spend time with her extended family. And although the salary was much lower than what she’d earned at Bristol, she’d manage. Nicole celebrated by treating herself to lunch in Town before heading off to visit her grandmother.

  She found her a little brighter and Eve couldn’t hide her delight when Nicole told her about the job.

  ‘I’ll be able to say that my granddaughter’s on television,’ she said, conveniently ignoring the fact that Nicole had been on English television for years. Nicole just smiled, happy that her grandmother felt proud of her.

  ‘Oh, by the way, I had a call from Hélène this morning. They’re having a wonderful time, but eating far too much!’ Nicole grinned. ‘She said she’ll need to go on a diet when they get back. She sounded very happy.’

  ‘I’m pleased for her. And this Adrian, your father, seems a decent chap after all.’ Eve, twisting her wedding ring, pursed her lips.

  ‘Yes, he’s very nice. It’s such a pity they didn’t…’

  ‘I know. They should have been a couple years ago. But they are now, so that’s all that matters.’

  As she opened the front door Nicole noticed several envelopes on the floor. Giving them a cursory glance, she was surprised to see one addressed to herself. Her heart sank as she recognised Tom’s handwriting. What on earth did he want now? Dumping the other letters on the kitchen worktop, she made a cup of tea and walked out to the terrace. Taking a deep breath, she opened the envelope.

  chapter 31

  There were two letters. One handwritten by Tom and the other in a typed envelope. She read his first:

  Dear Nicole

  I’m sorry for my behaviour on both occasions last week. I was so desperate to see you, having convinced myself that maybe you’d had second thoughts and we could get back together. I realise now that it was all in my own mind and that you were right to be angry with me. That first time I called, the shock of realising you’d met someone caused something to snap. I’m sorry for hurting you and frightening you the next day. I hadn’t slept and had had too much to drink. But that’s no excuse for behaving badly.

  Now I’ve had time to think I see that we need to start the divorce proceedings asap. Perhaps you could quote ‘Unreasonable Behaviour’ rather than adultery? Might be less embarrassing for us both, but it’s up to you. I’ve already talked to a solicitor (letter enclosed) and would like to buy your share of the house. It’ll mean a quicker settlement for you rather than waiting for it to sell. I want to be fair, darling. The solicitor’s arranging independent valuations and, of course, feel free to request your own. Everything will be split down the middle and if you email me a list of what furniture & stuff you want from the house, I’ll get back to you. Hopefully we can come to an agreement.

  Your own solicitor can get in touch with mine to sort out the finer details.

  I just want to finish by saying how sorry I am that our marriage is over and I really, really wish I could go back in time and not do what I did. But I can’t. Perhaps one day we could at least be friends but for the moment it’s better if we don’t meet.

  All my love

  Tom xx

  Nicole reached for a tissue as her eyes filled with tears. Oh Tom! You’re a bloody idiot. For a moment her mind filled with images from the past – their past – laughing, happy faces as they danced their first dance in a grotty nightclub; proud smiles as Tom stepped up to collect his first TV award; their joy when they found the farmhouse, ripe for renovation and perfect for a family home…

  It took a few minutes for her to calm down enough to read the solicitor’s letter. A confirmation of what Tom had written, but stated in legalese. Tossing it to one side, Nicole returned to the kitchen and poured a glass of wine. A large one. As she sat on the terrace sipping her drink, her thoughts turned to the present. Until now she hadn’t actually considered the reality of what a divorce would mean, but now she knew. Spelt out in black and white. A split down the middle of what they’d worked so hard for. It was only fair as she’d put in just as much as Tom, bumping up the deposit with some of her inheritance. His desire to buy her share was a relief; she might be glad of an early settlement to buy her own place in Guernsey. It would be okay. Painful, but okay. She swirled the wine in the glass. And now she had Ben. Gorgeous Ben. If they could make it work .We have to! It has to be right this time.

  Putting down her glass she went to fetch her laptop. She needed a solicitor.

  The next few days sped by. Nicole emailed Tom, thanking him for his offer of the buy-out and informing him of her solicitor’s details. She said she’d email soon with her list. The formal offer of the job at Channel Television arrived and Nicole went car hunting. Ben, delighted that she’d not only lined up work so quickly but had also begun divorce proceedings, insisted that he come with her to check out the cars. Normally she’d bristle at the sexist implication that she didn’t know what lay under the bonnet, but actually he was right. She only knew that she liked her cars fast and sexy. Although with an island top speed of 35mph perhaps “fast” might be redundant. Smiling at the thought, she browsed the list of sports cars on offer.

  It was love at first sight. A bright yellow Mazda MX5. Only a year old and low mileage.

  Nicole’s face split into a huge grin.

  ‘It’s perfect!’ She cried, running her hands along the bodywork.

  ‘Uh huh,’ Ben muttered, lifting up th
e bonnet. The salesman hovered close by, suggesting Nicole take it for a run. With the wind streaming through her hair she manoeuvred the lanes with ease, arriving back at the garage beaming from ear to ear.

  Ben gave the car his approval and Nicole happily completed the paperwork to become the proud owner of what became known as her “little ray of sunshine”.

  On Friday Nicole drove off to the nursing home for the last time. Eve would be returning home the next day to coincide with Hélène’s return. Surprised not to find her in the sitting room, Nicole asked a nurse where her she was.

  ‘Mrs Ferbrache’s been a bit off-colour today and she’s in her room. But I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.’

  Nicole knocked on the door, receiving a faint ‘Come in’ she found her grandmother lying in bed.

  ‘What’s the matter? The nurse said you were off colour, whatever that means.’ Nicole scrutinised the old lady’s face. She did look pale and drawn.

  ‘Oh, I’m just a bit tired, that’s all. Be right as rain when I’m back home.’

  ‘Hmm. Have they asked Ben to check you out? You might need some medication.’

  Eve shook her head.

  ‘There’s no need to bother the doctor. He was only round a couple of days ago and seemed pleased with me.’ Eve scowled at Nicole. ‘Promise me you won’t bother him. I’ll be fine.’

  ‘Okay. But if you’re not any better tomorrow I think he should take a look at you. Agreed?’ Sighing, Eve agreed.

  Nicole stayed long enough to have a cup of tea with her and then left her to rest. On the way out she spotted one of the senior nurses.

  ‘I’m a bit worried about my grandmother. She tends to play down how she’s feeling, not wanting a fuss. Do you think she’s okay?’

  The nurse steered her into an empty room.

  ‘Mrs Ferbrache is quite poorly, as you know. She has good days and bad days. Today’s a bad day but there’s nothing to worry about. If there was, rest assured, I’d call the doctor.’ She patted Nicole’s arm. ‘It’s been a bit of an upheaval for her, coming here after the routine of her own home. Perfectly natural, of course. And she’s really looked forward to your visits, helped her to feel more at home.’ The nurse added briskly, ‘Unless there’s a change for the worse we’ll be sending her home tomorrow as arranged. I’m afraid I have to go now, so if that’s all?’

  Nicole nodded and continued out to her car. Even the sight of her “ray of sunshine” not lifting her mood.

  Ben arrived to spend their last evening together at La Folie. Nicole had suggested she cook, but he’d offered to bring an Indian takeaway and the aroma of lamb curry preceded him to the kitchen.

  ‘Let’s eat outside. There’s beer in the fridge if you could grab a couple of bottles, please,’ Nicole said as she loaded a tray.

  ‘What have you been up to today?’ Ben asked after taking a gulp of beer.

  ‘I visited Grandmother this afternoon and found her in bed. “Off colour” the nurse called it.’ Nicole frowned.

  ‘Sorry to hear that. But I’m sure I would have been called if they were worried.’ He stroked the back of her hand. ‘She’s an old lady. There’s not much anyone can do about that,’ he murmured. ‘But I’ll check her out when she comes home tomorrow to be sure.’

  ‘Thanks.’ She smiled at him

  ‘My pleasure! And, changing the subject, you’ll be pleased to know that the gardener started today and I can now see what the garden really looks like!’ Ben grinned. ‘According to Jim, at some point it’s been properly planned and the bones are still evident. I’d love your take on what we can do to bring it back to life.’

  ‘We? So you’ll be helping, will you?’ Nicole said, with a tilt of her head.

  ‘Well, if I have any time and energy after finishing off the kitchen, dining-room, bedrooms, study…’ He counted off his fingers.

  ‘Point taken!’ she laughed.

  ‘I’ll go home once your family’s back in the morning, so would you like to come round later? Have a look round the garden and stay for supper? I’ll cook.’

  ‘Now that’s an offer a girl can’t refuse!’

  Nicole and Ben tidied up the kitchen the next morning after he’d had stowed his bag in the car.

  The ambulance pulled up at ten thirty and Eve’s wheelchair was pushed to the front door.

  Nicole, hoping to see her grandmother looking brighter, caught her breath as she saw her grey face. Ben, standing by her, squeezed her hand before helping to wheel Eve indoors.

  ‘How are you feeling today?’ Nicole asked, planting a kiss on her cheek.

  ‘Tired. I think I’d like to rest for a bit. Those ambulances shake my bones about.’ Eve grimaced. She must have seen Nicole’s worried frown because she went on, ‘But it’s lovely to be home, my dear,’ patting her arm. Looking at Ben she said, ‘I’ve quite a welcoming committee, haven’t I? Has she,’ nodding her head at Nicole, ‘been telling tales about me?’

  Ben’s face gave nothing away. ‘I’m here as a friend of the family, to welcome you and Hélène back. But as I am here shall I give that heart of yours the once over? My bag’s in the car.’

  ‘Harrumph. If you must,’ Eve said.

  Ben wheeled her to her bedroom, telling Nicole he’d manage.

  Feeling in need of something to occupy herself, Nicole wiped down the kitchen surfaces again before putting the kettle on.

  Ben appeared, his face serious.

  ‘So? How is she?’

  ‘Her heart’s struggling a bit so I’ve given her something to help her sleep. I’ve left her dressed in bed and she’s quite comfortable.’ He put his arms around her. ‘I’m afraid it’s not looking too good. Unless she has the operation…’

  Nicole choked on a sob.

  ‘How…how long?’

  Ben shook his head.

  ‘I really can’t say. But it’s likely to be weeks rather than months. I’m so, so sorry.’

  Nicole clung to him as tears trickled down her cheeks. The image of her grandmother’s grey face filled her mind. It’s not fair! I’ve only just met her, getting to know and love her…

  Ben lifted her chin and kissed the tears.

  ‘Hey, come on. You can’t let her see you’re upset. And Hélène will be home any minute. She’ll have to know, of course, but perhaps not today.’

  Nicole nodded and wiped her face. Taking a deep breath she asked Ben if he’d like a coffee. Nodding a yes, she filled two mugs and they went outside.

  By the time Nicole heard the sound of a car crunching on the gravel, she’d had a chance to compose herself. She didn’t want to spoil Hélène’s return.

  ‘Hi! You look wonderful! So brown and…and glowing!’ Nicole cried as she embraced a transformed Hélène. She really did glow, there was no other word for it. Her eyes shone and her mouth seemed somehow fuller, younger.

  Hélène laughed.

  ‘I feel wonderful. We’ve had a great time, haven’t we?’ she turned to a beaming Adrian, his arm linked through hers. He looked equally brown and radiant.

  ‘Yes, we have. It was just what we needed, I feel rejuvenated,’ he grinned.

  He carried in Hélène’s case and Nicole suggested they head for the terrace.

  ‘Is Mother home?’

  ‘Yes, but she’s sleeping. She said the ambulance shook her up.’

  ‘Right, well I’ll pop in later. How did she get on in the home? Did she settle in all right?’

  ‘She was fine. And I saw her every day.’

  Hélène smiled her relief.

  ‘Thank you, Nicole. I’m not sure if we’d have gone if you hadn’t been here.’ She turned to Adrian with a tilt of her head. He nodded.

  ‘We…we’ve got something to tell you. Adrian asked me to marry him and I said yes!’ She held out her left hand, the diamond catching the sunlight. ‘We’re engaged!’

  chapter 32

  ‘Oh my God! That’s fantastic!’ Nicole
threw her arms round Hélène before hugging Adrian. Ben kissed Hélène before shaking hands with her beaming fiancé.

  ‘I didn’t want to risk losing her a second time,’ he told Ben. ‘Life’s too short.’

  Nicole felt a lump in her throat. So true!

  ‘Let’s open a bottle of wine to celebrate. There’s some cava in the fridge, not exactly champagne, but…’ Nicole said, going off to the kitchen.

  On her return Ben opened the wine and Nicole said, ‘I’d like to propose a toast to the happy couple, Hélène and Adrian!’

  They clinked glasses before sipping the pink bubbly.

  Hélène linked her arm through Adrian’s, saying ‘We’d meant to tell you and Mother together, but I couldn’t wait. And the ring’s a bit of a giveaway!’ she laughed, gazing at her solitaire.

  ‘I’m sure Grandmother will be thrilled, she’s very tired but should be awake at lunchtime.’ Nicole looked at Ben who gave a small nod.

  The talk turned to the holiday in France and Adrian described in detail the chateaux and vineyards they’d visited. Safely stacked in the car’s boot were cases of the wines they’d particularly enjoyed. He disappeared to bring in a case, together with a whole Brie and boxes of chocolates.

  Hélène handed a large box of chocolate liqueurs to Nicole, saying, ‘It’s not much, but I’d like to thank you for keeping an eye on Mother while we were away. And here’s a few bottles of wine for you and Ben to enjoy.’

  Nicole’s heart sank. Knowing that her grandmother was gravely ill, it didn’t seem right to accept the gifts. But there was no choice, she couldn’t bear for Hélène to know the truth yet.

  Muttering a quick thank you, Nicole was relieved when Ben said that he had to be off and she went with him to the car. He stowed the wine and turned to hug her.

  ‘I know how you feel, I saw it in your face. Telling her in a couple of days isn’t going to make much difference.’ He stroked her hair. Nicole held on tight, glad of his support. How would she manage without him at this time?