Chaotic Anger: The Seven MC Book 1

by Breck, A. R.

  “We had to see if you were a risk. Or a threat.” He lifts an eyebrow.

  “Am I?” I feel more like a bad omen than anything else.

  He stares at me like he’s about to deliver terrible news. He doesn’t say anything for a beat too long, to the point it gets uncomfortable. I’m about to stand up and try to leave this place again when he starts laughing. “No, you’re not a threat, Ivy. And no one has a problem with you, so don’t worry about that. If anyone does, we’ll put them in their place. Mostly Aziel, he’s been a fucking wolf since you got here.” He keeps laughing.

  “What does that mean?” I squint at him.

  He stops laughing, looking at me seriously. “Nothing, I’m kidding. You’ll be fine here, kid.”

  “How come every time I go looking for you, I find you with this ugly mug?” The irritated voice comes from behind me.

  I look over my shoulder, seeing Aziel glaring at West.

  “Oh, hi.” I stand up from the couch, walking around and standing beside Aziel. “I didn’t know where you were and wouldn’t even know where to look. I thought I’d wait here for you and found West laying on the couch.”

  “Uh huh.” He scowls at West who ends up laughing at him.

  “Dude…” West breaks off to laugh again. “You’re done for.” He clutches his head. “Fucking hell.”

  Aziel ignores him, turning towards me. “You ready?”

  “Yeah, sure.” I wave to West on our way out. “Have you seen Lilah anywhere? I figured I’d find her down here eating.”

  “Yeah, I saw her on my way to get you. Her and Violet were outside by Charlie eating.”

  I grab onto his forearm, stopping him before we get outside. “The swing set… I don’t know how I’ll be able to repay you for it. And the clothes, they’re too much.”

  He frowns. “I never bought it thinking I’d be paid back.”

  “I know, but…” I feel so fucking guilty.

  “Hey,” he grabs onto my chin, tilting it up so our eyes meet. His warm finger spreads heat throughout my entire body. “it was a gift. Just accept it and move on.”

  I bite my lip and watch as he zeros in on it. Nodding, I whisper, “Thank you, Aziel.”

  He nods at me, brushing my lip with his thumb. “Did you want to go say goodbye to Lilah before we head out?”

  I shake my head. “No, I probably won’t be able to leave her if I see her again.”

  It’s him that stops me this time. “Are you sure you’re okay? Leaving her? We don’t have to go if you aren’t comfortable with it.”

  “No. No, I’m fine.” I wave him off.

  He stops at his motorcycle, hopping on. I do nothing, staring at him with a confused look on my face.

  “What the hell are you doing? Hop on.” He says.

  “We’re riding this?” I point at it like it’s a murder weapon.

  “Yeah. I don’t ride a car. Not unless I have to.”

  “I’ve never been on one of these before.” Nerves twist my stomach into an uncomfortable knot.

  “One of these? It’s a fucking motorcycle, Ivy. And I’m not asking you to ride it. All I’m asking is that you wrap those arms and sexy little legs around me and enjoy the ride.” He gives me a rare smirk, a dimple popping out and almost making me fall to my knees.

  He turns on his bike, the loud roar vibrating deep in my chest. “You comin’ or not?” He revs a couple times, showing off his sharp teeth as he gives me another smirk.

  “Fine.” I say, more to myself as I slide on behind him and wrap my arms loosely around his abdomen.

  He grabs onto my arms, giving them a yank until my front molds to his back.

  “Better.” I can barely hear his voice over the rumble of the motorcycle. I can feel the heat radiating off him and seeping into me.

  He revs the engine again and we’re off. I jolt backwards and my fingers clutch onto his shirt. His back moves, and I can’t tell for sure, but it feels like he’s chuckling at me.

  I pinch his side.

  The bike swerves to the side for a moment but he quickly rights it.

  This time I settle in, lacing my fingers together around his stomach and rest my cheek against his back. I watch the desert landscape turn into city as we ride down the highway. Palm trees start to pop up and before I know it, we’re making our way to the top of a hill. Once we make it to the peak, I can see the expanse of the Pacific Ocean laid out in front of me.

  “Wow.” I say, lifting my face off his back and looking at the monster in front of me. It’s the scariest thing I’ve ever seen, even scarier than Santiago in some respects. The ocean could swallow me whole and I could never be seen again in the blink of an eye. It doesn’t care for my feelings or my beliefs. The waves will cover obliterate anyone in its path, its arms curling around you and sweeping you out to its darkest waters.

  It’s tragic, and beautiful. And I love it.

  We ride down the hill and ride along the coast for quite some time. We ride past teenagers in swimsuits. Kids on skateboards. Mom’s hanging out together with overly expensive handbags. Dad’s looking like they’re running late to a board meeting. Life going on as normal as I ride with a man I barely know on the back of his motorcycle.

  The warm air slides across my cheeks and the sun heats my skin. There’s a touch of a breeze that mixes in from the ocean air. It smells different here. Not stifling. Different from Mexico, but also different from the mountain air. Out here it smells fresh. The smell of beach and sand. A hint of sunscreen lingering in the air. Out here I can finally breathe, and I love the salty air.

  Aziel slows down and pulls down a back alleyway, parking in a makeshift parking spot. Kicking down his kickstand, he slides off, lifting me off and settling me on the ground beside him.

  “What’d you think?” He flips his hat backwards and pulls a cigarette out of his pocket, sparking it and leveling me a look.

  “Frightening, but fun.”

  He laughs as he sucks on his cigarette. The smoke trails out of his nose. “Frightening?”

  I shrug. “I’m used to the walls of a car. When there’s nothing blocking me from the pavement when we’re going seventy down the freeway, yeah, it’s a little terrifying.”

  “I guess if you don’t know how to whip the ride, sure.”

  “How long have you been riding for?”

  “Since I was thirteen, maybe.” He flicks the cherry off with his finger. “Come on, I didn’t bring you here to show you a parking lot.” He grabs my arm and pulls me towards the sandy beach.

  “Wait, thirteen? Were you even big enough?” I try to catch up to his big steps, but he’s walking fast as hell.

  “I was a tall kid.”

  He was a tall kid. I nearly snort at his seriousness.

  “Holy shit.” My thoughts halt when I see where he’s taking me. It looks to be a secret cove between two large cliffs. The water is angry as it rams against the sharp rocks, but towards the side the water is calm. Night and day, only feet apart from each other. The beach is deserted, as if Aziel is the only one to know about this private spot.

  “Yeah?” He asks, plopping down on his ass right under the sun. He stares at some surfers way off into the distance, probably from a beach I noticed as we were driving down the highway, about a mile down the coast.

  I stare at him.

  “Yeah. Where’d you find this place?” I cross my legs and sit next to him on the sand. The grains are hot between my fingers. The grains feel soft here, like thousands of feet haven’t pummeled through it. It’s pure, untouched.

  “Sometimes being at the clubhouse can be too much. It’s like… being in a fucking frat house or something. I was born into the club, it’s all I know. I love it, and it’s a part of me. More than a part of me, actually. It’s most of me. But the other part of me get tired.”

  “Tired of what?” I ask softly. This is the first time I’ve heard anything personal about him. It feels like I’m discovering my own secret cove myself.

&nbs
p; “The noise, mostly. The people. I’ve got my own place, you know.”

  My eyebrows lift. “No, I didn’t. Why do you stay at the clubhouse?”

  “I don’t, or, not mostly. Then you showed up. I don’t know, haven’t been to my house in a couple days. But, anyway, even though I have my own place, the guys still show up whenever they want. I feel like we live in a commune or something sometimes. It’s … loud. My anger gets the best of me sometimes. So, one day, I was real pissed off. Before I knew it, I was on my bike and riding towards the ocean. I found this place, and just like that, it’s become a spot for me. No one is ever here when I come here.”

  “Your own hideout.” I smile.

  “The thing is, the ocean feels louder than all the guys at the clubhouse put together. But it’s still better to me. Quiets the noise.” He taps on his head.

  “I get it.” I say softly. And I do. The noise in your head can be unbearable sometimes. It’s nice he’s found a place to drown out the thoughts.

  “So, how many girls have you brought to this place?” I start tracing my name in the sand to hide my embarrassment. I sound like a jealous girlfriend. Yuck.

  “None.”

  I look up at him. “None? Not even one? That’s a little hard to believe.”

  He shrugs. “What for? I come here for the quiet. Bringing some broad here defeats that purpose, doesn’t it?”

  “Then why bring me here?”

  He lifts his hand and runs his finger over my braid, then flips it over my shoulder. “Because I can tell you need to quiet the noise, too.”

  My face softens. “Thanks.”

  He flips his hat forward, lays back with his arm behind his head.

  I copy him, laying back and propping my head on my arm. Turning my head towards him, I say, “I mean it. Thank you for bringing me here… and for opening up.”

  He rolls so he’s hovering over me. “Don’t get used to it. I’m usually a dick all the fucking time.”

  I bat his hat off, running my fingers through his messy hair and down his stubbled cheeks. “Meh, I don’t believe it.”

  He curls his lip, showing off his teeth in a snarling smile. “You fucked up.” He swoops me up in his arms and runs towards the water.

  “Oh, no. Please! Please don’t. It’s going to be so cold!”

  “You think I’m some pussy. Let me tell you, baby, I may fuck you good but I’ll sure as hell piss you off while I’m doing it.”

  I forget momentarily where I am as his words sink into me. My mouth goes dry moments before I’m thrown in the air. My legs and arms go out like a fucking starfish. Plunging into the frigid water, I doggy paddle my way back up and choke, “You fucking bastard!” I wipe the water from my eyes as my body shakes.

  “That’s more like it.”

  “I’m serious! Who the hell throws someone in the water with no warning? What a dick!”

  He laughs. “Yeah, I know. Think of this next time you go spewing soft shit about me.” He grabs me around the waist, lifting my legs and wrapping them around his waist. My soft thighs press against his rigid muscles. I squeeze them, loving the feel of him between me. He lifts my arms and tosses them over his shoulder. My hands go up to the base of his skull, my fingers threading through the wet hair and giving it a pull. He grunts as he puts his hands on my back, sliding them down and ending around my waist. His hands are so large his fingers can almost wrap the entire diameter around my waist. He squeezes, and a shiver breaks out along my spine.

  I suck in a breath, barely able to breathe as the waves crash against my back and Aziel crashes against my front. “I’m not a nice man, Ivy. I don’t do romance, and I don’t even really like it, to be honest. I like to ride, smoke, and shoot shit. But then you show up… and now it feels like what I liked is inconsequential compared to everything else. Compared to you.”

  My breath shakes on its way out of my chest. I can’t tell if I’m shaking because of the cold or if his words have completely obliterated my insides and turned my mind on its axis. I go with the latter. Because holy shit.

  “I don’t… I don’t know what to say.” I breathe.

  His hands drop below my waist, sliding around my ass and gripping it roughly.

  “You’re fucking incredible.” He sighs, leaning down and sinking his teeth into the skin above my breast. My head tilts back and I let out a groan, the cold water turning warm from our heated bodies.

  “Aziel.” I sigh. His erection presses between my legs and don’t even hesitate to grind down on it.

  “Shit.” He growls, reaching up and pulling my shirt down, exposing my breast. The cold water has my nipple puckered and Aziel grabs a handful of my breast, leaning down and swiping his tongue right over the sensitive peak. I can barely breathe, because for the first time in my life, foreplay is what it’s meant to be. Foreplay. Playful. Fun. Sexual.

  It’s not a chore. It’s not embarrassing. It’s not threatening.

  It’s mind blowing.

  I grind down even further, and we find a rhythm beneath the rippling water in our secret cove. Moan’s escape me louder and louder and I feel a low boil in the pit of my stomach.

  Then my shirt is slapped up and his hands slam down on my thighs, holding me in place. “Stop.”

  I freeze, the water suddenly turning ice cold as Aziel’s mood tumbles to the bottom of the ocean.

  “What? What is it?” I say, trying to look over m;y shoulder. Aziel stops my movement, holding my chin between his thumb and forefinger.

  “Don’t.”

  “Don’t what? What’s going on? You’re scaring me.” I feel the panic building in my chest.

  “Fucking stay calm. I’m going to start walking towards the shore. You’re going to get out and pretend everything is fine. We’re going to walk towards my bike and go back home, and you’re going to act completely fine. Got it?”

  “Got it.” I totally don’t have it.

  He holds me as he walks to shore, and I can now tell the difference in the way he holds me. Before his grip was strong. Tense, but relaxed. Now his arms are rigid, stiff, and pulsing with anger. I don’t know what he sees up ahead, but whatever it is, is freaking him the hell out.

  “I’m going to put you down. Just act normal.” He mumbles next to my ear.

  I nod, settling my feet into the sand mixed with wet, sloppy seaweed on the shore. Grains and rocks wedge between my toes as I walk, and I wish for just another second of peace in this secret cove. In the loud ocean. I could have stayed there with him forever.

  I walk out of the water, walking over to pick up Aziel’s hat off the beach and carry it with me towards his bike. I do my best to not let my eyes stray from my destination. Whatever it is that’s going on, I can’t fail this sort of test that Aziel put me on. I don’t know what the repercussions would be for him, or me, but I do know I don’t want to find out.

  I look over my shoulder to hand Aziel his hat. He takes it from me, not even cracking a smile or glancing my way. His focus is directly on his bike, and there is no straying from his eyes.

  He lifts me by the waist and sets me on his bike and then leans over the seat, turning it on and revving it a couple times.

  Then he goes behind me to the bag that sits on the back, opening the top and pulling out a gun.

  A fucking gun?!

  “What the—”

  “Not a word, Ivy.” He growls, turning around and walking away from the bike. I look up, seeing a familiar looking car at the other end of the alleyway. I can’t see inside, but the twisting of my stomach tells me it’s one of Santiago’s men staring at me.

  Or worse…

  The window was cracked, but it suddenly rolls up and the car starts reversing.

  Aziel cocks the gun back and aims at the tire.

  Bang.

  The tire goes flat. Aziel quickens his pace, walking up to the driver’s side and slamming the butt of his gun against the window. It cracks, and then he slams his elbow into the window, shattering it and scatte
ring glass all over the street and inside the driver’s side door. One of Santiago’s workers looks at Aziel angrily as he swears at him in a string of Spanish. Aziel doesn’t even give him a moment, his finger pulls the trigger and sends a bullet straight through the man’s skull.

  I sit there stunned on the back of his bike as Aziel runs back to me, all tattoos and wet clothes and slips in front of me with ease, revving the bike again before taking off down the street. He says nothing, does nothing. His body sits tense in front of me, nothing like he was earlier. I can’t help but feel like it’s me that put us at risk today. My being here that made this guy show up at Aziel’s safe place.

  I’m the risk.

  But Aziel didn’t even blink. Instead, he saved me.

  Again.

  15

  Aziel

  Fuck.

  I whip down the road on the way back to the clubhouse. I can feel Ivy’s fear as she clings to me. Her fingertips dig into my abdomen like she wants to burrow underneath my skin.

  It was stupid as fuck to kill the guy in broad daylight. In front of Ivy.

  Fuck.

  I weave in and out of traffic, going well over the speed limit as I try to get home. I can tell Ivy is moments from losing her shit, and I don’t know how well I’ll be able to reign it in when we’re out in public.

  I see another conspicuous van trailing me from behind. They’re fucking idiots. They think I can’t tell that they’re slowing following me, keeping a safe enough distance but close enough they can keep track of me.

  I’m only about ten minutes from home at this point, but I don’t want to bring this shit to the club. Seeing an exit with no services, I cut right quickly and slide off the exit. Looking in the rearview mirror, I watch as the van quickly swerves into the right lane to follow me. I speed up, feeling Ivy clutch me harder.

  She can tell something’s off.

  I turn left, going underneath the underpass and slowing to a stop behind a dried bush. They’ll be able to see me, but it’ll take a moment for them to notice where I am. By then, they’ll already be dead.