Serenity

by Jesse J. Thoma

  “Sure thing. I’ll get you a glove and cut a little hole in it to accommodate your new Wolverine claw,” Felix said.

  “Funny man.” Kit grimaced against the pain.

  She appreciated that even in this situation Felix and Billy were giving her a hard time. They cared about her.

  She looked at her hand for the first time. She shouldn’t have looked. The nail had gone all the way through her palm, so she had a new claw palm up or down.

  Once Josh had finally calmed down the scrum, he came to check on her. She had taken a seat on the big cooler of water while she waited for Felix. The pain was fierce, and her hand throbbed with every heartbeat.

  “I asked you to keep an eye on the new guys. Not get shot by them and then start a brawl.”

  “Hate to break it to you, but after spending time with them all day, the new guys suck.” Kit held up her hand to show Josh.

  “That’s what I hear. I had to fire them.”

  Felix returned with a towel. Kit wrapped it carefully around her hand, avoiding the nail sticking out of her hand.

  “Felix, Billy, send everyone home for the day. Make sure everything is cleaned up first and the site is locked up tight. I’m taking Kit to the hospital. Call the police and have them deal with Micky and David. Let them know where we are so they can come by and talk to us.”

  “You got it, boss.”

  Josh started walking and Kit followed. She protested as they walked. She felt bad causing so much trouble. She knew it wasn’t her fault, but she still felt guilty. Time was money for Josh, and shutting down for half a day wasn’t good for business. Maybe she should have handled Micky and David differently.

  “What did those guys have against you?” Josh looked over his shoulder as they walked.

  “My moral failings.” Kit shrugged and tugged the towel tighter.

  “Gay thing?”

  “No, surprisingly. Drug thing. They were really hung up on it.”

  “Huh, I bet if you’d asked nicely, they’d have given you an earful about the gay thing too. They seem like those kinda guys. But neither one is a moral failing.” Josh yanked open the truck door and tried to help Kit inside. “Drug thing’s brain chemistry.”

  Kit shoved him away and awkwardly got into the seat one-handed. “They would vehemently disagree. I have no idea how they even knew about my past. It’s not like I wear a sign on my shirt.”

  “You should.” Josh cranked the engine and headed to the hospital. “You should be proud of how hard you’ve worked. But I think a couple of the guys were talking about your recovery. The twin idiots must have overheard.”

  “Why were they talking about me?” Kit didn’t like knowing people were talking about her behind her back. The pain in her hand was wearing on her and the hospital didn’t feel close enough. Even on her best days she didn’t like people in her business and today wasn’t her best day.

  “I think Joe’s brother is struggling with an addiction to painkillers right now. Billy was telling him you’ve been clean over a year, so he shouldn’t give up hope.”

  Kit thought about Frankie. She wondered if Joe knew anyone who had gotten clean aside from her. But maybe he didn’t even know anyone who used aside from his brother. This was the second time someone knowing her story seemed like a good thing for them. But it didn’t always feel like a good thing for her.

  When they got to the hospital Josh insisted on coming in with her. She tried to tell him he didn’t need to, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer, and truthfully, Kit was glad for the company. She was also glad for the support. She knew she’d be offered pain medicine repeatedly. Although there wasn’t any rule that said she couldn’t have it if she was injured, she didn’t want it. She’d fought so hard to rid her life of opioids, and she couldn’t welcome them back, not now, not for any reason. She needed Josh to help her say no as many times as necessary.

  In the end it wasn’t so bad. They numbed her hand when they took out the nail and cleaned out the hole it left. She was up to date on her tetanus shot so she didn’t have to endure that fun. By some miracle, it’d missed doing damage that required surgery or extensive bracing. She couldn’t work while it healed and it hurt like hell, but overall, it was the best outcome she could ask for after tussling with a nail gun.

  The real problem was all the headaches the injury was going to cause Josh. There was workman’s comp, injury recording forms for Josh, the decision whether to pursue legal action against Micky for harassment and assault and battery. Not to mention now they were half a day behind and three men short.

  Josh had told her not to worry about paying rent that month since she couldn’t work, but she did worry. She worried a lot, which was compounded by the fact that she was still sleeping on his couch. It felt like she was taking advantage of him. In the morning, she would figure out a way to pay the rent for the month even if she couldn’t work her regular job. When she was using, she’d needed other people to help her get through her days and get her next fix. But now, she’d worked too hard getting back on her feet to feel completely dependent again.

  Chapter Eight

  Thea set her coffee on her desk and pulled up a particularly challenging research request from a local business. She loved getting requests from the community to help find information that wasn’t easy to track down. It made her feel like a super sleuth and she usually learned a lot about a topic she otherwise wouldn’t explore.

  On a few of her favorite projects she’d helped with an extensive family history research project, learned more about community zoning than she probably would ever need, and pulled models of clinician ride-along programs in police departments around the country for the local force.

  While she waited for her computer to boot up, she popped the lid off her coffee and contemplated the unsweetened latte. She would never admit it to anyone, but she was having trouble looking at her morning cup of heaven and not thinking it a bit boring. There was no way she was going back to turmeric, but she had added hazelnut syrup a week ago. That felt outrageously bold. It had also been delicious.

  Kit, I just might end up cursing you or loving you. I’m not sure I want to do either.

  She put the lid back on, stuck with boring this morning, and returned to her computer. She opened the spreadsheets and documents she would need to record her findings. She labeled everything and made a list of the details she wanted to search. There was nothing more exciting than an outline and an organized plan of attack.

  I need to look for other sources of excitement in my life if this is what I count as entertainment. Thea was about to get started when Walter knocked on her door. Thea was happy to see him. She always was, but their schedules hadn’t lined up recently so she’d seen even less of him than usual.

  “Walter, did you come by for a chat?”

  “I do love our stimulating repartee.” Walter leaned against the doorframe and tilted his head, clearly examining Thea. “And I hate to interrupt your coffee, but there’s a patron upstairs who may need your attention.”

  Thea couldn’t read Walter’s expression.

  “Is everything okay? Do I need the naloxone?” Thea’s stomach dropped. She hurriedly locked her computer and shuffled through her drawer. Usually, she kept the naloxone on her during the day. If someone was overdosing, she wouldn’t have time to run to her office, but it was early and she was still working in her office.

  “No, no. Nothing like that. Just someone I think would be best handled by you personally.”

  There were a few patrons that Thea handled, but they were regulars and followed a predictable routine. And Walter wouldn’t need to be so secretive if it was one of them. Thea followed Walter upstairs. She’d known him long enough to know he would’ve shared more if he were so inclined. Pestering him with questions wasn’t going to do her any good. She would find out more when she got where he was leading.

  Once on the main floor, Walter led her to one of the banks of computers. The stations were about half filled wit
h early morning visitors. Walter stopped a few feet from the first row. Those using the computers had their backs to them. Walter subtly motioned at a woman hunched over one of the workstations. It was Kit.

  “She seems frustrated. She’s cursing under her breath.” Walter leaned in close so only Thea could hear. “Not disruptive,” he said quickly when Thea looked at him for clarification. “And her hand.”

  Thea couldn’t see Kit’s hands so she didn’t know what he was talking about. She patted Walter’s shoulder in thanks and approached Kit. She came around the front so as not to startle her. When she turned she could finally see Kit’s hands.

  Kit was using her left hand to hunt and peck at the keyboard. Her keystrokes were aggressive and the frustration was evident in her expression. Her right hand was resting on the desk next to the keyboard and it was heavily bandaged. Only the tips of her fingers and thumb were visible. Thea felt a flutter of anxiety in her chest. Clearly, Kit was okay since she was sitting in front of her assailing the keyboard, but she was injured. That bothered Thea in a way she didn’t expect.

  Thea took a quick calming breath since Kit hadn’t yet seen her, and then stepped forward and knelt next to her. She leaned against the desk and caught Kit’s eye.

  “Who’s winning?”

  Kit glanced up and looked happy to see her. Thea counted it as a win.

  “Not me.” Kit leaned back in her chair and tried to run her hands through her hair. She put the bandaged one down and looked disgusted. “I wasn’t spending my years of drug use improving my computer skills, and with one hand I can’t type for shit.”

  “What happened?”

  “I need a job.” Kit waggled her right hand. “Just until this heals. I have bills to pay.”

  “Did it happen at work? What about workman’s comp, or disability?”

  “Thea, I need a job. It’s not enough, okay?”

  Thea swallowed her retort. Who was she to argue what Kit needed? Her argument was based on her own desire for Kit not to be hurt in the first place and for her to trust her enough to tell her what happened. Since she hadn’t figured out time travel yet and Kit didn’t seem to be feeling chatty, there was only one thing to do.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay? Okay what?” Kit turned away from the computer and looked at Thea again.

  “Okay, let’s find you a job.”

  “Thea, that’s not your job. I’ll be nicer to your computer. Walter didn’t need to call you over to tell me to behave.”

  “That’s not why he got me. He knew I’d be worried about you, which I am. And it is my job, actually. So scoot your ass over so I don’t have to watch you hunt and peck us both into old age.” When Kit didn’t move fast enough Thea put her hand on her hip and utilized her stern librarian face.

  Kit moved over, although she looked reluctant.

  “Explain to me how it’s your job to find me a job? Is this charity?”

  Thea sat down and opened a new browser. “Not charity at all. You are a library patron. You have a research query. I’m a librarian with the skills and resources to assist. Doesn’t matter if you’re looking for a specific book, the best paella recipe in the world, or the meaning of life. We’re here to help.”

  Kit was looking at her incredulously. “That’s not really how I pictured librarians.”

  Do not ask her what she pictured. Do not do it. You promised no flirting. She squelched the desire to be playful. “I get that a lot. Now, what kind of job are you looking for?”

  Kit looked thoughtful, a very different posture from the tight shoulders and aggressive typing of earlier. She’d seemed angry before. Less so now.

  “I guess I hadn’t really gotten that far. I just needed to make some progress.” Kit nodded toward the computer. “Which I was clearly doing.”

  “Obviously. Let’s start with what you do know. You said something short-term. And you need to cover your expenses. Driving seems like it would be difficult with only one hand, so no ride share services.”

  “One hand, no car, and no driver’s license,” Kit said. “Are those important?”

  Thea held her thumb and index finger up half an inch apart. “Nothing that requires your own transportation then.”

  “Hey, I’m very good at transporting myself on the city bus. And my own two feet. I probably still remember how to ride a bicycle. But I don’t have one.”

  Thea stole a glance at Kit, who caught her looking and grinned. Kit was wildly attractive, but right now the best word to describe her was irresistibly adorable. Her hair was a bit of a mess, she was leaning on the desk haphazardly, and trying to convince Thea a pair of sneakers counted as viable transportation.

  “There’s an entire gig economy out there.” Thea loved this part of her job. “Let’s see if you can fit into it.”

  It wasn’t hard to rule out anything that required a car, heavy lifting, or the use of Kit’s hands, alcohol or substance use or promotion, and beauty and brand promotion. Kit had drawn a firm line at peddling any products. She also wasn’t interested in being a foot model or sleeping in a research lab for two weeks, no matter how well it paid.

  “Ready to get back to work and give up on this?” Kit was alternating between pacing behind the computer and being slumped against the desk.

  “I already told you, this is work, and we’re just getting started.”

  “Seriously?”

  Kit didn’t look like she was feeling Thea’s enthusiasm. She clearly wasn’t acquainted with the thrill of the chase.

  Thea looked at the clock. They’d been working for longer than she thought. It was nearly lunch.

  “Ten more minutes and then I’m taking you to lunch.”

  “You are?”

  “I am,” Thea said, although it sounded a bit weak, even to her.

  “Hey, you can take it back. I won’t be offended.” Kit made sure to catch her eye.

  “Absolutely not. I’m taking you to lunch. I’m not usually so impulsive. It caught me off guard. The invitation was sincere.”

  “Okay, but I’m not your charity case. I can pay my own way.” Kit stretched and rolled her shoulders.

  Thea looked her over carefully, then made sure she was paying attention. She leaned in closer.

  “My charity cases are mangy dogs and stray cats. They most certainly don’t look anything like you.”

  Stop flirting. Stop it right now. Enough.

  She didn’t give Kit a chance to answer before she turned back to the computer and began a new search. She could see from the corner of her eye that Kit looked slightly flummoxed, but not at all displeased.

  Although if you are going to flirt, that’s the look you should get when you do.

  When the ten minutes were up, Thea had a promising lead. Kit was reticent but hadn’t ruled it out. A local nonprofit that provided peer support and crisis services to those experiencing mental health or substance use problems needed someone to do filing and other office work for a few weeks. Kit wasn’t sure about stepping into a center related to substance use. Thea understood. It was up to Kit whether she was comfortable or not. But that wasn’t the work for hungry stomachs.

  Walter looked surprised when Thea told him she was going out for lunch. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever done it before. Sylvia had never stopped by to take her out, and she wouldn’t go with Walter or Carrie because the library would be too shorthanded. She wondered if that made her as pathetic as she felt. Who hadn’t ever gone out to lunch at work? Should she change that? Did she want to?

  “Hey, you okay? You look like you’re wrestling with something big and mean all of a sudden.”

  Thea lead the way out of the library, oddly liberated by leaving work in the middle of the day. “Not at all. Just realizing I haven’t gone out to lunch in way too long.”

  “I’m happy you’re making an exception for me. Just don’t hold it against me when I look like a complete idiot using a fork with my left hand. My cousin Josh thought it was hilarious last night.”
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br />   “I would never.” Thea tried to keep a straight face.

  Frankie bounded up the front steps as they walked out. “Hey, Thea. Hey, Kit. Thea, I’m almost done with all the stuff you gave me to do last time I was in. I think maybe an hour and a half and I’ll be done. What do you want me to do if you’re not back when I finish?” Frankie was a bundle of frenetic teenage energy. “I’m free until the library closes today, so I can stay as late as you want me to. I’ll stay until closing anyway, so if you have work for me to do, let me know. Even if you can’t pay me, I don’t mind helping out.”

  “I’m going to lunch, Frankie. Not…” Thea wasn’t sure exactly how she intended to finish that sentence when she started it. “Not leaving for the day. Homework first. I will not be the reason your grades slip. You understand?”

  She waited for Frankie to nod her understanding before continuing. She was happy to have Frankie onboard as a library assistant, but not if she sacrificed her future even temporarily.

  “Good, if you finish early with what I gave you, check in with Walter. He probably has some things you can help out with.”

  “Sure thing. Have fun.”

  Thea watched her run up the stairs, taking two at a time. A little part of her wanted to follow. Have fun? She wasn’t sure how to have fun at lunch in the middle of the workday. Was it the same as any other time? She looked at Kit, who smiled at her. Thea relaxed.

  “Ready?”

  As I’ll ever be.

  She pointed Kit in the direction of her favorite restaurant and an entirely new direction for herself. She wasn’t the woman who went out to lunch in the middle of the day. But maybe she wanted to be. One way to find out.

  Chapter Nine

  Kit knew Thea was uncomfortable with the idea of going to lunch with her as soon as she’d offered the invitation. She’d tried to give her a way out, but Thea hadn’t accepted. Kit assumed it was because leaving the library in the middle of the day didn’t seem like something Thea would do. But Kit had shown up with a bandaged hand and hot, simmering anger. Not exactly characteristics in the handbook for fifty hottest dates.