One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  When the king heard this, his mind was occupied [with the story he had heard and that which the vizier promised him], and he bade the latter depart to his own house.

  The Twenty-Eighth and Last Night of the Month

  When the evening evened, the king summoned the vizier and bade him tell the story of the King of Hind and his vizier. So he said, “Hearkening and obedience. Know, O king of august lineage, that

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  STORY OF THE KING OF HIND AND HIS VIZIER.

  There was once in the land of Hind a king of illustrious station, endowed with understanding and good sense, and his name was Shah Bekht. He had a vizier, a man of worth and intelligence, prudent in counsel, conformable to him in his governance and just in his judgment; wherefore his enviers were many and many were the hypocrites, who sought in him faults and set snares for him, so that they insinuated into King Shah Bekht’s eye hatred and rancour against him and sowed despite against him in his heart; and plot followed after plot, till [at last] the king was brought to arrest him and lay him in prison and confiscate his good and avoid his estate.

  When they knew that there was left him no estate that the king might covet, they feared lest he be brought to release him, by the incidence of the vizier’s [good] counsel upon the king’s heart, and he return to his former case, so should their plots be marred and their ranks degraded, for that they knew that the king would have need of that which he had known from that man nor would forget that wherewith he was familiar in him. Now it befell that a certain man of corrupt purpose found a way to the perversion of the truth and a means of glozing over falsehood and adorning it with a semblance of fair-seeming and there proceeded from him that wherewith the hearts of the folk were occupied, and their minds were corrupted by his lying tales; for that he made use of Indian subtleties and forged them into a proof for the denial of the Maker, the Creator, extolled be His might and exalted be He! Indeed, God is exalted and magnified above the speech of the deniers. He avouched that it is the planets that order the affairs of all creatures and he set down twelve mansions to twelve signs [of the Zodiac] and made each sign thirty degrees, after the number of the days of the month, so that in twelve mansions there are three hundred and threescore [degrees], after the number of the days of the year; and he wrought a scheme, wherein he lied and was an infidel and denied [God]. Then he got possession of the king’s mind and the enviers and haters aided him against the vizier and insinuated themselves into his favour and corrupted his counsel against the vizier, so that he suffered of him that which he suffered and he banished him and put him away.

  So the wicked man attained that which he sought of the vizier and the case was prolonged till the affairs of the kingdom became disordered, by dint of ill governance, and the most part of the king’s empery fell away from him and he came nigh unto ruin. Therewithal he was certified of the loyalty of his [late] skilful vizier and the excellence of his governance and the justness of his judgment. So he sent after him and brought him and the wicked man before him and summoning the grandees of his realm and the chiefs of his state to his presence, gave them leave to talk and dispute and forbade the wicked man from that his lewd opinion. Then arose that wise and skilful vizier and praised God the Most High and lauded Him and glorified Him and hallowed Him and attested His unity and disputed with the wicked man and overcame him and put him to silence; nor did he cease from him till he enforced him to make confession of repentance [and turning away] from that which he had believed.

  Therewith King Shah Bekht rejoiced with an exceeding great joy and said, ‘Praise be to God who hath delivered me from yonder man and hath preserved me from the loss of the kingship and the cessation of prosperity from me!’ So the affair of the vizier returned to order and well-being and the king restored him to his place and advanced him in rank. Moreover, he assembled the folk who had missaid of him and destroyed them all, to the last man. And how like,” continued the vizier, “is this story unto that of myself and King Shah Bekht, with regard to that whereinto I am fallen of the changing of the king’s heart and his giving credence to others against me; but now is the righteousness of my dealing established in thine eyes, for that God the Most High hath inspired me with wisdom and endowed thee with longanimity and patience [to hearken] from me unto that which He allotted unto those who had foregone us, till He hath shown forth my innocence and made manifest unto thee the truth. For now the days are past, wherein it was avouched to the king that I should endeavour for the destruction of my soul, [to wit,] the month; and behold, the probation time is over and gone, and past is the season of evil and ceased, by the king’s good fortune.” Then he bowed his head and was silent.

  When King Shah Bekht heard his vizier’s speech, he was confounded before him and abashed and marvelled at the gravity of his understanding and his patience. So he sprang up to him and embraced him and the vizier kissed his feet. Then the king called for a sumptuous dress of honour and cast it over Er Rehwan and entreated him with the utmost honour and showed him special favour and restored him to his rank and vizierate. Moreover he imprisoned those who had sought his destruction with leasing and committed unto himself to pass judgment upon the interpreter who had expounded to him the dream. So the vizier abode in the governance of the realm till there came to them the Destroyer of Delights; and this (added Shehrzad) is all, O king of the age, that hath come down to us of King Shah Bekht and his vizier.

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  SHEHRZAD AND SHEHRIYAR.

  As for King Shehriyar, he marvelled at Shehrzad with the utmost wonder and drew her near to his heart, of his much love for her; and she was magnified in his eyes and he said in himself, “By Allah, the like of this woman is not deserving of slaughter, for indeed the time affordeth not her like. By Allah, I have been heedless of mine affair, and had not God overcome me with His mercy and put this woman at my service, so she might adduce to me manifest instances and truthful cases and goodly admonitions and edifying traits, such as should restore me to the [right] road, [I had come to perdition!]. Wherefore to God be the praise for this and I beseech Him to make my end with her like unto that of the vizier and Shah Bekht.” Then sleep overcame the king and glory be unto Him who sleepeth not!

  When it was the Nine hundred and thirtieth Night, Shehrzad said, “O king, there is present in my thought a story which treateth of women’s craft and wherein is a warning to whoso will be warned and an admonishment to whoso will be admonished and whoso hath discernment; but I fear lest the hearing of this lessen me with the king and lower my rank in his esteem; yet I hope that this will not be, for that it is a rare story. Women are indeed corruptresses; their craft and their cunning may not be set out nor their wiles known. Men enjoy their company and are not careful to uphold them [in the right way], neither do they watch over them with all vigilance, but enjoy their company and take that which is agreeable and pay no heed to that which is other than this. Indeed, they are like unto the crooked rib, which if thou go about to straighten, thou distortest it, and which if thou persist in seeking to redress, thou breakest it; wherefore it behoveth the man of understanding to be silent concerning them.”

  “O sister mine,” answered Dinarzad, “bring forth that which is with thee and that which is present to thy mind of the story concerning the craft of women and their wiles, and have no fear lest this endamage thee with the king; for that women are like unto jewels, which are of all kinds and colours. When a [true] jewel falleth into the hand of him who is knowing therein, he keepeth it for himself and leaveth that which is other than it. Moreover, he preferreth some of them over others, and in this he is like unto the potter, who filleth his oven with all the vessels [he hath moulded] and kindleth fire thereunder. When the baking is at an end and he goeth about to take forth that which is in the oven, he findeth no help for it but that he must break some thereof, whilst other some are what the folk need and whereof they make use, and yet other some the
re be that return to their whilom case. Wherefore fear thou not to adduce that which thou knowest of the craft of women, for that in this is profit for all folk.”

  Then said Shehrzad, “They avouch, O king, (but God [alone] knowest the secret things,) that

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  EL MELIK EZ ZAHIR RUKNEDDIN BIBERS EL BUNDUCDARI AND THE SIXTEEN OFFICERS OF POLICE.

  There was once in the land [of Egypt and] the city of Cairo, [under the dynasty] of the Turks, a king of the valiant kings and the exceeding mighty Sultans, by name El Melik ez Zahir Rukneddin Bibers el Bunducdari. He was used to storm the Islamite strongholds and the fortresses of the Coast and the Nazarene citadels, and the governor of his [capital] city was just to the folk, all of them. Now El Melik ez Zahir was passionately fond of stories of the common folk and of that which men purposed and loved to see this with his eyes and hear their sayings with his ears, and it befell that he heard one night from one of his story-tellers that among women are those who are doughtier than men of valour and greater of excellence and that among them are those who will do battle with the sword and others who cozen the quickest-witted of magistrates and baffle them and bring down on them all manner of calamity; whereupon quoth the Sultan, ‘I would fain hear this of their craft from one of those who have had to do theiewith, so I may hearken unto him and cause him tell.’ And one of the story-tellers said, ‘O king, send for the chief of the police of the town.’

  Now Ilmeddin Senjer was at that time Master of Police and he was a man of experience, well versed in affairs: so the king sent for him and when he came before him, he discovered to him that which was in his mind. Quoth Ilmeddin Senjer, ‘I will do my endeavour for that which our lord the Sultan seeketh.’ Then he arose and returning to his house, summoned the captains of the watch and the lieutenants of police and said to them, ‘Know that I purpose to marry my son and make him a bride-feast, and it is my wish that ye assemble, all of you, in one place. I also will be present, I and my company, and do ye relate that which ye have heard of extraordinary occurrences and that which hath betided you of experiences.’ And the captains and sergeants and agents of police made answer to him, saying, ‘It is well: in the name of God! We will cause thee see all this with thine eyes and hear it with thine ears.’ Then the master of police arose and going up to El Melik ez Zahir, informed him that the assembly would take place on such a day at his house; and the Sultan said, ‘It is well,’ and gave him somewhat of money for his expenses.

  When the appointed day arrived, the chief of the police set apart for his officers a saloon, that had windows ranged in order and giving upon the garden, and El Melik ez Zahir came to him, and he seated himself, he and the Sultan, in the alcove. Then the tables were spread unto them for eating and they ate; and when the cup went round amongst them and their hearts were gladdened with meat and drink, they related that which was with them and discovered their secrets from concealment. The first to relate was a man, a captain of the watch, by name Muineddin, whose heart was engrossed with the love of women; and he said, ‘Harkye, all ye people of [various] degree, I will acquaint you with an extraordinary affair which befell me aforetime. Know that

  John Payne’s translation: detailed table of contents

  THE FIRST OFFICER’S STORY.

  When I entered the service of this Amir, I had a great repute and every lewd fellow feared me of all mankind, and whenas I rode through the city, all the folk would point at me with their fingers and eyes. It befell one day, as I sat in the house of the prefecture, with my back against a wall, considering in myself, there fell somewhat in my lap, and behold, it was a purse sealed and tied. So I took it in my hand and behold, it had in it a hundred dirhems, but I found not who threw it and I said, “Extolled be the perfection of God, the King of the Kingdoms!” Another day, [as I sat on like wise,] somewhat fell on me and startled me, and behold, it was a purse like the first. So I took it and concealing its affair, made as if I slept, albeit sleep was not with me.

  One day, as I was thus feigning sleep, I felt a hand in my lap, and in it a magnificent purse. So I seized the hand and behold, it was that of a fair woman. Quoth I to her, “O my lady, who art thou?” And she said, “Rise [and come away] from here, that I may make myself known to thee.” So I arose and following her, fared on, without tarrying, till she stopped at the door of a lofty house, whereupon quoth I to her,”O my lady, who art thou? Indeed, thou hast done me kindness, and what is the reason of this?” “By Allah,” answered she, “O Captain Mum, I am a woman on whom desire and longing are sore for the love of the daughter of the Cadi Amin el Hukm. Now there was between us what was and the love of her fell upon my heart and I agreed with her upon meeting, according to possibility and convenience. But her father Amin el Hukm took her and went away, and my heart cleaveth to her and love-longing and distraction are sore upon me on her account.”

  I marvelled at her words and said to her, “What wouldst thou have me do?” And she answered, “O Captain Muin, I would have thee give me a helping hand.” Quoth I, “What have I to do with the daughter of the Cadi Amin el Hukm?” And she said, “Know that I would not have thee intrude upon the Cadi’s daughter, but I would fain contrive for the attainment of my wishes.’ This is my intent and my desire, and my design will not be accomplished but by thine aid.” Then said she, “I mean this night to go with a stout heart and hire me trinkets of price; then will I go and sit in the street wherein is the house of Amin el Hukm; and when it is the season of the round and the folk are asleep, do thou pass, thou and those who are with thee of the police, and thou wilt see me sitting and on me fine raiment and ornaments and wilt smell on me the odour of perfumes; whereupon do thou question me of my case and I will say, ‘I come from the Citadel and am of the daughters of the deputies and I came down [into the town,] to do an occasion; but the night overtook me at unawares and the Zuweyleh gate was shut against me and all the gates and I knew not whither I should go this night Presently I saw this street and noting the goodliness of its ordinance and its cleanness, took shelter therein against break of day.’ When I say this to thee with all assurance the chief of the watch will have no suspicion of me, but will say, ‘Needs must we leave her with one who will take care of her till morning.’ And do thou rejoin, ‘It were most fitting that she pass the night with Amin el Hukm and lie with his family and children till the morning.’ Then do thou straightway knock at the Cadi’s door, and thus shall I have gained admission into his house, without inconvenience, and gotten my desire; and peace be on thee!” And I said to her, “By Allah, this is an easy matter.”

  So, when the night darkened, we sallied forth to make our round, attended by men with sharp swords, and went round about the streets and compassed the city, till we came to the by-street where was the woman, and it was the middle of the night Here we smelt rich scents and heard the clink of earrings; so I said to my comrades, “Methinks I spy an apparition,” And the captain of the watch said, “See what it is.” So I came forward and entering the lane, came presently out again and said, “I have found a fair woman and she tells me that she is from the Citadel and that the night surprised her and she espied this street and seeing its cleanness and the goodliness of its ordinance, knew that it appertained to a man of rank and that needs must there be in it a guardian to keep watch over it, wherefore she took shelter therein.” Quoth the captain of the watch to me, “Take her and carry her to thy house.” But I answered, “I seek refuge with Allah! My house is no place of deposit and on this woman are trinkets and apparel [of price]. By Allah, we will not deposit her save with Amin el Hukrn, in whose street she hath been since the first of the darkness; wherefore do thou leave her with him till the break of day.” And he said, “As thou wilt.” Accordingly, I knocked at the Cadi’s door and out came a black slave of his slaves, to whom said I, “O my lord, take this woman and let her be with you till break of day, for that the lieutenant of the Amir Ilmeddin hath found her standing at the door of your house,
with trinkets and apparel [of price] on her, and we feared lest her responsibility be upon you; wherefore it is most fit that she pass the night with you.” So the slave opened and took her in with him.

  When the morning morrowed, the first who presented himself before the Amir was the Cadi Amin el Hukm, leaning on two of his black slaves; and he was crying out and calling [on God] for aid and saying, “O crafty and perfidious Amir, thou depositedst with me a woman [yesternight] and broughtest her into my house and my dwelling-place, and she arose [in the night] and took from me the good of the little orphans, six great bags, [containing each a thousand dinars, and made off;] but as for me, I will say no more to thee except in the Sultan’s presence.” When the Master of the Police heard these words, he was troubled and rose and sat down; then he took the Cadi and seating him by his side, soothed him and exhorted him to patience, till he had made an end of talk, when he turned to the officers and questioned them. They fixed the affair on me and said, “We know nothing of this affair but from Captain Muineddin.” So the Cadi turned to me and said, “Thou wast of accord with this woman, for she said she came from the Citadel.”

  As for me, I stood, with my head bowed to the earth, forgetting both Institutes and Canons, and abode sunk in thought, saying, “How came I to be the dupe of yonder worthless baggage?” Then said the Amir to me, “What aileth thee that thou answerest not?” And I answered, saying, “O my lord, it is a custom among the folk that he who hath a payment to make at a certain date is allowed three days’ grace; [so do thou have patience with me so long,] and if, [by the end of that time,] the culprit be not found, I will be answerable for that which is lost.” When the folk heard my speech, they all deemed it reasonable and the Master of Police turned to the Cadi and swore to him that he would do his utmost endeavour to recover the stolen money and that it should be restored to him. So he went away, whilst I mounted forthright and fell to going round about the world without purpose, and indeed I was become under the dominion of a woman without worth or honour; and I went round about on this wise all that my day and night, but happened not upon tidings of her; and thus I did on the morrow.