One Thousand and One Nights

by Richard Burton

  Richard Francis Burton’s translation: detailed table of contents

  The Adventures of Mercury Ali of Cairo.214

  Now as regards the works of Mercury ‘Alí; there lived once at Cairo,215 in the days of Saláh the Egyptian, who was Chief of the Cairo Police and had forty men under him, a sharper named Ali, for whom the Master of Police used to set snares and think that he had fallen therein; but, when they sought for him, they found that he had fled like zaybak, or quicksilver, wherefore they dubbed him Ali Zaybak or Mercury Ali of Cairo. Now one day, as he sat with his men in his hall, his heart became heavy within him and his breast was straitened. The hall-keeper saw him sitting with frowning face and said to him, “What aileth thee, O my Chief? If thy breast be straitened take a turn in the streets of Cairo, for assuredly walking in her markets will do away with thy irk.” So he rose up and went out and threaded the streets awhile, but only increased in cark and care. Presently, he came to a wine-shop and said to himself, “I will go in and drink myself drunken.” So he entered and seeing seven rows of people in the shop, said, “Harkye, taverner! I will not sit except by myself.” Accordingly, the vintner placed him in a chamber alone and set strong pure wine before him whereof he drank till he lost his senses. Then he sallied forth again and walked till he came to the road called Red, whilst the people left the street clear before him, out of fear of him. Presently, he turned and saw a water-carrier trudging along, with his skin and gugglet, crying out and saying, “O exchange! There is no drink but what raisins make, there is no love-delight but what of the lover we take and none sitteth in the place of honour save the sensible freke216 !” So he said to him, “Here, give me to drink!” The water-carrier looked at him and gave him the gugglet which he took and gazing into it, shook it up and lastly poured it out on the ground. Asked the water-carrier, “Why dost thou not drink?”; and he answered, saying, “Give me to drink.” So the man filled the cup a second time and he took it and shook it and emptied it on the ground; and thus he did a third time. Quoth the water-carrier, “An thou wilt not drink, I will be off.” And Ali said, “Give me to drink.” So he filled the cup a fourth time and gave it to him; and he drank and gave the man a dinar. The water-carrier looked at him with disdain and said, belittling him, “Good luck to thee! Good luck to thee, my lad! Little folk are one thing and great folk another!” — And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying her permitted say,

  When it was the Seven Hundred and Ninth Night,

  She continued, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that the water-carrier receiving the dinar, looked at the giver with disdain and said “Good luck to thee! Good luck to thee! Little folk are one thing and great folk another.” Now when Mercury Ali heard this, he caught hold of the man’s gaberdine and drawing on him a poignard of price, such an one as that whereof the poet speaketh in these two couplets,

  “Watered steel-blade, the world perfection calls, * Drunk with

  the viper poison foes appals,

  Cuts lively, burns the blood whene’er it falls; * And picks up

  gems from pave of marble halls;”217

  cried to him, “O Shaykh, speak reasonably to me! Thy water- skin is worth if dear three dirhams, and the gugglets I emptied on the ground held a pint or so of water.” Replied the water-carrier “’Tis well,” and Ali rejoined, “I gave thee a golden ducat: why, then dost thou belittle me? Say me, hast thou ever seen any more valiant than I or more generous than I?” Answered the water-carrier; “I have indeed, seen one more valiant than thou and eke more generous than thou; for, never, since women bare children, was there on earth’s face a brave man who was not generous.” Quoth Ali, “And who is he thou deemest braver and more generous than I?” Quoth the other, “Thou must know that I have had a strange adventure. My father was a Shaykh of the Water-carriers who give drink in Cairo and, when he died, he left me five male camels, a he-mule, a shop and a house; but the poor man is never satisfied; or, if he be satisfied he dieth. So I said to myself, ‘I will go up to Al-Hijaz’; and, taking a string of camels, bought goods on tick, till I had run in debt for five hundred ducats, all of which I lost in the pilgrimage. Then I said in my mind, ‘If I return to Cairo the folk will clap me in jail for their goods.’ So I fared with the pilgrims- caravan of Damascus to Aleppo and thence I went on to Baghdad, where I sought out the Shaykh of the Water-carriers of the city and finding his house I went in and repeated the opening chapter of the Koran to him. He questioned me of my case and I told him all that had betided me, whereupon he assigned me a shop and gave me a water-skin and gear. So I sallied forth a-morn trusting in Allah to provide, and went round about the city. I offered the gugglet to one, that he might drink; but he cried, ‘I have eaten naught whereon to drink; for a niggard invited me this day and set two gugglets before me; so I said to him, ‘O son of the sordid, hast thou given me aught to eat that thou offerest me drink after it?’ Wherefore wend thy ways, O water-carrier, till I have eaten somewhat: then come and give me to drink.’ Thereupon I accosted another and he said, ‘Allah provide thee!’ And so I went on till noon, without taking hansel, and I said to myself, ‘Would Heaven I had never come to Baghdad!’ Presently, I saw the folk running as fast as they could; so I followed them and behold, a long file of men riding two and two and clad in steel, with double neck-rings and felt bonnets and burnouses and swords and bucklers. I asked one of the folk whose suite this was, and he answered, ‘That of Captain Ahmad al-Danaf.’ Quoth I, ‘And what is he?’ and quoth the other, ‘He is town-captain of Baghdad and her Divan, and to him is committed the care of the suburbs. He getteth a thousand dinars a month from the Caliph and Hasan Shuman hath the like. More-over, each of his men draweth an hundred dinars a month; and they are now returning to their barrack from the Divan.’ And lo! Calamity Ahmad saw me and cried out, ‘Come give me drink.’ So I filled the cup and gave it him, and he shook it and emptied it out, like unto thee; and thus he did a second time. Then I filled the cup a third time and he took a draught as thou diddest; after which he asked me, ‘O water- carrier, whence comest thou?’ And I answered, ‘From Cairo,’ and he, ‘Allah keep Cairo and her citizens! What may bring thee thither?’ So I told him my story and gave him to understand that I was a debtor fleeing from debt and distress. He cried, ‘Thou art welcome to Baghdad’; then he gave me five dinars and said to his men, ‘For the love of Allah be generous to him.’ So each of them gave me a dinar and Ahmad said to me, ‘O Shaykh, what while thou abidest in Baghdad thou shalt have of us the like every time thou givest us to drink.’ Accordingly, I paid them frequent visits and good ceased not to come to me from the folk till, one day, reckoning up the profit I had made of them, I found it a thousand dinars and said to myself, ‘The best thing thou canst do is to return to Egypt.’ So I went to Ahmad’s house and kissed his hand, and he said, ‘What seekest thou?’ Quoth I, ‘I have a mind to depart’; and I repeated these two couplets,

  ‘Sojourn of stranger, in whatever land, * Is like the castle based

  upon the wind:

  The breaths of breezes level all he raised. * And so on

  homeward-way’s the stranger’s mind.’

  I added, ‘The caravan is about to start for Cairo and I wish to return to my people.’ So he gave me a she-mule and an hundred dinars and said to me, ‘I desire to send somewhat by thee, O Shaykh! Dost thou know the people of Cairo?’ ‘Yes,’ answered I”; — And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.

  When it was the Seven Hundred and Tenth Night,

  She pursued, It bath reached me, O auspicious King, that when Ahmad al-Danaf had given the water-carrier a she-mule and an hundred dinars and said to him, “I desire to send a trust by thee. Dost thou know the people of Cairo?” “I answered (quoth the water-carrier), ‘Yes’; and he said, ‘Take this letter and carry it to Ali Zaybak of Cairo and say to him, ‘Thy Captain saluteth thee and he is now with the Caliph.’ So I took the letter and journeyed back to Cairo, where I paid my debts and plie
d my water-carrying trade; but I have not delivered the letter, because I know not the abode of Mercury Ali.” Quoth Ali, “O elder, be of good cheer and keep thine eyes cool and clear: I am that Ali, the first of the lads of Captain Ahmad: here with the letter!” So he gave him the missive and he opened it and read these two couplets,

  “O adornment of beauties to thee write I * On a paper that

  flies as the winds go by:

  Could I fly, I had flown to their arms in desire, * But a bird

  with cut wings; how shall ever he fly?”

  “But after salutation from Captain Ahmad al-Danaf to the eldest of his sons, Mercury Ali of Cairo. Thou knowest that I tormented Salah al-Din the Cairene and befooled him till I buried him alive and reduced his lads to obey me, and amongst them Ali Kitf al-Jamal; and I am now become town-captain of Baghdad in the Divan of the Caliph who hath made me over-seer of the suburbs. An thou be still mindful of our covenant, come to me; haply thou shalt play some trick in Baghdad which may promote thee to the Caliph’s service, so he may appoint thee stipends and allowances and assign thee a lodging, which is what thou wouldst see and so peace be on thee.” When Ali read this letter, he kissed it and laying it on his head, gave the water-carrier ten dinars; after which he returned to his barracks and told his comrades and said to them, “I commend you one to other.” Then he changed all his clothes and, donning a travelling cloak and a tarboosh, took a case, containing a spear of bamboo-cane, four-and-twenty cubits long, made in several pieces, to fit into one another. Quoth his lieutenant, “Wilt thou go a journey when the treasury is empty?”; and quoth Ali, “When I reach Damascus I will send you what shall suffice you.” Then he set out and fared on, till he overtook a caravan about to start, whereof were the Shah-bandar, or Provost of the Merchants, and forty other traders. They had all loaded their beasts, except the Provost, whose loads lay upon the ground, and Ali heard his caravan-leader, who was a Syrian, say to the muleteers, “Bear a hand, one of you!” But they reviled him and abused him. Quoth Ali in himself, “None will suit me so well to travel withal as this leader.” Now Ali was beardless and well- favoured; so he went up to and saluted the leader who welcomed him and said, “What seekest thou?” Replied Ali, “O my uncle, I see thee alone with forty mule-loads of goods; but why hast thou not brought hands to help thee?” Rejoined the other, “O my son, I hired two lads and clothed them and put in each one’s pocket two hundred dinars; and they helped me till we came to the Dervishes’ Convent,218 when they ran away.” Quoth Ali, “Whither are you bound?” and quoth the Syrian, “to Aleppo,” when Ali said, “I will lend thee a hand.” Accordingly they loaded the beasts and the Provost mounted his she-mule and they set out he rejoicing in Ali; and presently he loved him and made much of him and on this wise they fared on till nightfall, when they dismounted and ate and drank. Then came the time of sleep and Ali lay down on his side and made as if he slept; whereupon the Syrian stretched himself near him and Ali rose from his stead and sat down at the door of the merchant’s pavilion. Presently the Syrian turned over and would have taken Ali in his arms, but found him not and said to himself, “Haply he hath promised another and he hath taken him; but I have the first right and another night I will keep him.” Now Ali continued sitting at the door of the tent till nigh upon daybreak, when he returned and lay down near the Syrian, who found him by his side, when he awoke, and said to himself, “If I ask him where he hath been, he will leave me and go away.” So he dissembled with him and they went on till they came to a forest, in which was a cave, where dwelt a rending lion. Now whenever a caravan passed, they would draw lots among themselves and him on whom the lot fell they would throw to the beast. So they drew lots and the lot fell not save upon the Provost of the Merchants. And lo! the lion cut off their way awaiting his prey, wherefore the Provost was sore distressed and said to the leader, “Allah disappoint the fortunes219 of the far one and bring his journey to naught! I charge thee, after my death, give my loads to my children.” Quoth Ali the Clever One, “What meaneth all this?” So they told him the case and he said, “Why do ye run from the tom-cat of the desert? I warrant you I will kill him.” So the Syrian went to the Provost and told him of this and he said, “If he slay him, I will give him a thousand dinars,” and said the other merchants, “We will reward him likewise one and all.” With this Ali put off his mantle and there appeared upon him a suit of steel; then he took a chopper of steel220 and opening it turned the screw; after which he went forth alone and standing in the road before the lion, cried out to him. The lion ran at him, but Ali of Cairo smote him between the eyes with his chopper and cut him in sunder, whilst the caravan-leader and the merchants looked on. Then said he to the leader, “Have no fear, O nuncle!” and the Syrian answered, saying, “O my son, I am thy servant for all future time.” Then the Provost embraced him and kissed him between the eyes and gave him the thousand dinars, and each of the other merchants gave him twenty dinars. He deposited all the coin with the Provost and they slept that night till the morning, when they set out again, intending for Baghdad, and fared on till they came to the Lion’s Clump and the Wady of Dogs, where lay a villain Badawi, a brigand and his tribe, who sallied forth on them. The folk fled from the highwaymen, and the Provost said, “My monies are lost!”; when, lo! up came Ali in a buff coat hung with bells, and bringing out his long lance, fitted the pieces together. Then he seized one of the Arab’s horses and mounting it cried out to the Badawi Chief, saying, “Come out to fight me with spears!” Moreover he shook his bells and the Arab’s mare took fright at the noise and Ali struck the Chief’s spear and broke it. Then he smote him on the neck and cut off his head.221 When the Badawin saw their chief fall, they ran at Ali, but he cried out, saying, “Allaho Akbar — God is Most Great!” — and, falling on them broke them and put them to flight. Then he raised the Chief’s head on his spear-point and returned to the merchants, who rewarded him liberally and continued their journey, till they reached Baghdad. Thereupon Ali took his money from the Provost and committed it to the Syrian caravan-leader, saying, “When thou returnest to Cairo, ask for my barracks and give these monies to my deputy.” Then he slept that night and on the morrow he entered the city and threading the streets enquired for Calamity Ahmad’s quarters; but none would direct him thereto.222 So he walked on, till he came to the square Al-Nafz, where he saw children at play, and amongst them a lad called Ahmad al-Lakít,223 and said to himself, “O my Ali, thou shalt not get news of them but from their little ones.” Then he turned and seeing a sweet-meat-seller bought Halwá of him and called to the children; but Ahmad al-Lakit drove the rest away and coming up to him, said, “What seekest thou?” Quoth Ali, “I had a son and he died and I saw him in a dream asking for sweetmeats: wherefore I have bought them and wish to give each child a bit.” So saying, he gave Ahmad a slice, and he looked at it and seeing a dinar sticking to it, said “Begone! I am no catamite: seek another than I.” Quoth Ali, “O my son, none but a sharp fellow taketh the hire, even as he is a sharp one who giveth it. I have sought all day for Ahmad al-Danaf’s barrack, but none would direct me thereto; so this dinar is thine an thou wilt guide me thither.” Quoth the lad, “I will run before thee and do thou keep up with me, till I come to the place, when I will catch up a pebble with my foot224 and kick it against the door; and so shalt thou know it.” Accordingly he ran on and Ali after him, till they came to the place, when the boy caught up a pebble between his toes and kicked it against the door so as to make the place known. — And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased saying her permitted say.

  When it was the Seven Hundred and Eleventh Night,

  She resumed, It hath reached me, O auspicious King, that when Ahmad the Abortion had made known the place, Ali laid hold of him and would have taken the dinar from him, but could not; so he said to him, “Go: thou deservest largesse for thou art a sharp fellow, whole of wit and stout of heart. Inshallah, if I become a captain to the Caliph, I will make thee one of my lads.” Then the boy made off and Ali
Zaybak went up to the door and knocked; whereupon quoth Ahmad al-Danaf, “O doorkeeper, open the door; that is the knock of Quicksilver Ali the Cairene.” So he opened the door and Ali entered and saluted with the salam Ahmad who embraced him, and the Forty greeted him. Then Calamity Ahmad gave him a suit of clothes, saying, “When the Caliph made me captain, he clothed my lads and I kept this suit225 for thee.” Then they seated him in the place of honour and setting on meat they ate well and drink they drank hard and made merry till the morning, when Ahmad said to Ali, “Beware thou walk not about the streets of Baghdad, but sit thee still in this barrack.” Asked Ali, “Why so? Have I come hither to be shut up? No, I came to look about me and divert myself.” Replied Ahmad, “O my son, think not that Baghdad be like Cairo. Baghdad is the seat of the Caliphate; sharpers abound therein and rogueries spring therefrom as worts spring out of earth.” So Ali abode in the barrack three days when Ahmad said to him, “I wish to present thee to the Caliph, that he may assign thee an allowance.” But he replied, “When the time cometh.” So he let him go his own way. One day, as Ali sat in the barrack, his breast became straitened and his soul troubled and he said in himself, “Come, let us up and thread the ways of Baghdad and broaden my bosom.” So he went out and walked from street to street, till he came to the middle bazar, where he entered a cook-shop and dined;226 after which he went out to wash his hands. Presently he saw forty slaves, with felt bonnets and steel cutlasses, come walking, two by two; and last of all came Dalilah the Wily, mounted on a she-mule, with a gilded helmet which bore a ball of polished steel, and clad in a coat of mail, and such like. Now she was returning from the Divan to the Khan of which she was portress; and when she espied Ali, she looked at him fixedly and saw that he resembled Calamity Ahmad in height and breadth. Moreover, he was clad in a striped Abá-cloak and a burnous, with a steel cutlass by his side and similar gear, while valour shone from his eyes, testifying in favour of him and not in disfavour of him. So she returned to the Khan and going in to her daughter, fetched a table of sand, and struck a geomantic figure, whereby she discovered that the stranger’s name was Ali of Cairo and that his fortune overcame her fortune and that of her daughter. Asked Zaynab, “O my mother, what hath befallen thee that thou hast recourse to the sand-table?” Answered Dalilah, “O my daughter, I have seen this day a young man who resembleth Calamity Ahmad, and I fear lest he come to hear how thou didst strip Ahmad and his men and enter the Khan and play us a trick, in revenge for what we did with his chief and the forty; for methinks he has taken up his lodging in Al- Danaf’s barrack.” Zaynab rejoined, “What is this? Methinks thou hast taken his measure.” Then she donned her fine clothes and went out into the streets. When the people saw her, they all made love to her and she promised and sware and listened and coquetted and passed from market to market, till she saw Ali the Cairene coming, when she went up to him and rubbed her shoulder against him. Then she turned and said “Allah give long life to folk of discrimination!” Quoth he, “How goodly is thy form! To whom dost thou belong?”; and quoth she, “To the gallant227 like thee;” and he said, “Art thou wife or spinster?” “Married,” said she. Asked Ali, “Shall it be in my lodging or thine?228 and she answered, “I am a merchant’s daughter and a merchant’s wife and in all my life I have never been out of doors till to-day, and my only reason was that when I made ready food and thought to eat, I had no mind thereto without company. When I saw thee, love of thee entered my heart: so wilt thou deign solace my soul and eat a mouthful with me?” Quoth he, “Whoso is invited, let him accept.” Thereupon she went on and he followed her from street to street, but presently he bethought himself and said, “What wilt thou do and thou a stranger? Verily ’tis said, ‘Whoso doth whoredom in his strangerhood, Allah will send him back disappointed.’ But I will put her off from thee with fair words.” So he said to her, “Take this dinar and appoint me a day other than this;” and she said, “By the Mighty Name, it may not be but thou shalt go home with me as my guest this very day and I will take thee to fast friend.” So he followed her till she came to a house with a lofty porch and a wooden bolt on the door and said to him, “Open this lock.”229 Asked he “Where is the key?”; and she answered, “’Tis lost.” Quoth he, “Whoso openeth a lock without a key is a knave whom it behoveth the ruler to punish, and I know not how to open doors without keys?”230 With this she raised her veil and showed him her face, whereat he took one glance of eyes that cost him a thousand sighs. Then she let fall her veil on the lock and repeating over it the names of the mother of Moses, opened it without a key and entered. He followed her and saw swords and steel-weapons hanging up; and she put off her veil and sat down with him. Quoth he to himself, “Accomplish what Allah bath decreed to thee,” and bent over her, to take a kiss of her cheek; but she caught the kiss upon her palm, saying, “This beseemeth not but by night.” Then she brought a tray of food and wine, and they ate and drank; after which she rose and drawing water from the well, poured it from the ewer over his hands, whilst he washed them. Now whilst they were on this wise, she cried out and beat upon her breast, saying, “My husband had a signet-ring of ruby, which was pledged to him for five hundred dinars, and I put it on; but ’twas too large for me, so I straitened it with wax, and when I let down the bucket,231 that ring must have dropped into the well. So turn thy face to the door, the while I doff my dress and go down into the well and fetch it.” Quoth Ali, “‘Twere shame on me that thou shouldst go down there I being present; none shall do it save I.” So he put off his clothes and tied the rope about himself and she let him down into the well. Now there was much water therein and she said to him, “The rope is too short; loose thyself and drop down.” So he did himself loose from the rope and dropped into the water, in which he sank fathoms deep without touching bottom; whilst she donned her mantilla and taking his clothes, returned to her mother — And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.