Until Us

by Cristin Cooper

  He stood, pulled her from her seat and held her in his arms. An hour later, he said goodnight to Katie and waited at the bottom of the stairs until he heard her bedroom door close. He made his way to the spare bedroom and fell into bed. In that quiet moment, all the pent up emotions of the day caught up with him. He could no longer hold it in. He clenched his jaw and covered his mouth with his fists to muffle the sob. His body shook from the force of his tears.

  His friend was gone.

  Chapter Five

  September 2015

  Katie

  After the funeral, the McHenrys held a celebration of life party for Eric. Close friends and family were taking turns standing in front of the room telling funny and sweet stories of Eric. Katie laughed between tears hearing about the mischievous boy who grew into the slightly awkward preteen to the rebellious teenager who used to sneak out of the house with Tyler to go to parties or to see girls.

  Katie closed her eyes to hold back the wave of tears. She had known Eric, or at least the Eric that was with her two to four days a month, but it saddened her she would never get to see the everyday Eric and would never know him the way they did.

  Katie covered her flat stomach with the palm of her hands and took in a shaky breath. The pressure in her chest made it difficult to breath, especially when she thought about the baby never getting to know its father. He or she would never hear Eric laugh or be cradled in his strong arms. The thought was almost too much to bear.

  A beautiful redhead moved to the front of the room and smiled. “Hi, I’m Audrey.” She waved her hand. “My first introduction to Eric was nearly three years ago. I was dating Tyler at the time, and he thought it would be fun if we had a double date with Eric and girl we later named Crazy Cass.” A soft giggle came from Alexis, who closed her eyes and shook her head. It was the first time Katie saw even the slightest smile on her friend’s face since the day Eric died.

  “Cass invited us to her house for a barbecue and to hang out in her pool. A few hours into our date Eric and Cass disappeared into the house.” Katie drew in a deep breath, trying to block out the girl’s voice. She didn’t want to hear about Eric with another girl, but the redhead went on with her story as if Katie’s heart wasn’t being ripped in two.

  “About thirty minutes after they disappeared, Eric came running out of the house naked, carrying his clothes with a naked Cass behind him screaming ‘We have to go!’”

  Katie’s heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest as a wave of jealousy hit her hard. She looked over at Tyler, who glared at Audrey with his jaw clenched. At least she wasn’t the only one not laughing.

  “Eric and Cass streaked across the back yard and jumped over the fence, leaving Tyler and me confused until a man walked out of the house with a phone in his hand, calling the cops.”

  The smiles turned to laughter as she went on to explain that Cass not only didn’t live in the house, she didn’t even know who did.

  Suddenly, the walls felt like they were closing in on her, and she needed some space to alleviate the sensation of being suffocated. Katie excused herself and stepped away from Alexis, Tracy, and Jeff who were smiling with tears in their eyes.

  She inched her way through the crowded room, trying not to breathe in the scent of people and food. Her stomach was already sensitive from morning sickness and with her anxiety on the rise, it was only be a matter of time before her stomach would rid her of her most recent meal.

  She reached a quiet corner of the room, where nobody seemed to notice her, and she could no longer hear whoever was talking. Leaning against the wall, she took in a deep breath, when that wasn’t enough she opened the window hoping fresh air would help.

  When her breathing evened out, she glanced around the room, making sure nobody noticed her. Of course, Tyler did. He always noticed.

  His face drew tight with worry and he mouthed, “You okay?”

  She gave him a watery smile and shook her head no. He made a move to come to her, but she held up a hand to stop him. His brow furrowed. She wished he could take some of the pain away, but there wasn’t anything he could do to help, and she needed a moment alone.

  His mother, who stood next to him, followed his line of sight to her. She tilted her head and gave her a sad smile. Katie was touched to feel the honest sympathy from the woman, even though they barely knew each other. She could see where Tyler got his carrying nature.

  The moment his mother and sisters walked through the front door of the McHenrys’ that morning, Tyler was pulled into a group hug. It was times like that she wished she had grown up with siblings. She had a great life, but sometimes it was lonely growing up being an only child. It was also why her decision to leave Arizona was so difficult. She hated not being near her only family.

  Tyler had introduced her to his mother Joyce and his sisters, Rebecca, Esther, Leah, and Naomi, a few days before, but Katie hadn’t needed introductions. He talked about his family so much she was able to pick them out by name without him giving any cues.

  After their introductions, she escaped to one of the bedrooms and allowed herself to have a pity party. Tyler had the family life she wanted and the one she dreamed of creating with Eric. Instead, she was at his funeral pregnant. The baby would grow up without a father…just like her.

  It was in the low moments during the past few days that she thought about her options. She could abort, and nobody would even know except for her and Jason … He wouldn’t understand but it didn’t matter. She didn’t think she could go through with it, especially knowing her mom had the same option with her and didn’t.

  Adoption flittered in and out of her head. The child could have everything she wished she’d had growing up. That reason alone made her want to look into it.

  The front door opened, pulling Katie out of her thoughts. She looked over to see Phillip, Jenny, Bridget, and Billy walk in holding her baby brother Will. Even though Phillip and Jenny lived less than an hour away, they stayed at the same hotel as Bridget and Billy. It made her feel cherished how they all came together to support her.

  Billy caught sight of her first and led the rest of the group to her hiding spot. They circled around her and took turns giving her a hug. She thought about all the years she wanted more than just her and her mother, and now she had four parents, one-half sister Kayla and two half-brothers James and Will. As much as she wished she had them all growing up, she was thankful she had them now.

  Bridget stood on one side of her, holding her hand while Phillip stood on the other with his arm around her shoulders. It felt odd not to have her Billy next to her but she now had to share him with Will who was fussing in his arms.

  She leaned into Phillip as he rubbed his hand up and down her arm.

  Phillip had been at her side every time she needed him the past few days. He came with her to pick up Bridget, Billy, and Will from the airport and was there every time she needed to cry. She could tell it was tough on Billy, who had always been her “dad”, to share his spot, but he would always her Billy. She needed him as much as she needed her dad.

  Being loved by them gave her some peace not only for herself but also for the baby. Billy’s actions were a reminder that just because she wasn’t his blood, he still loved her like his own. She prayed the baby would have someone like him.

  Without thought, she covered her stomach with her hand. Billy leaned in with a sleepy Will on his shoulder and asked, “You feeling okay, Sweets? We can take you back to the hotel if you need to lay down.”

  Right before they left for the funeral, Billy and Bridget found her in the bathroom with her head in the toilet. They worried she was making herself sick from grief. It didn’t seem to be the right moment to tell them it was morning sickness.

  Nobody but Jason knew about her pregnancy, and she wasn’t sure when she was going to tell everyone, but it had to be soon. She wanted to do it while all the parents, including Eric’s, were here. It wasn’t something she was looking forward to, but maybe knowin
g there would be a part of Eric still here, it would bring a little happiness into his parents’ lives.

  She rubbed her belly with a sad smile. “I’m okay,” she whispered. Well, as okay as she could be. The grief seemed to roll in and out like waves. One minute she was fine and knew that everything would be okay, then the next, all the memories of her and Eric played in her head, like a movie stopping and starting at her favorite moments, and she would be right back swimming in her grief. It was thick and heavy, and she knew if she didn’t keep moving it would pull her down until she could no longer breathe.

  Just as she felt the heaviness in her chest, nausea hit. She excused herself, promising she would be right back. She hurried up the stairs and down the long hallway to the bathroom.

  Chapter Six

  September 2015

  Tyler

  “I know what you’re thinking, but Audrey wasn’t trying to hurt anyone by talking about you, Eric, and Cass,” Tyler’s mother whispered in his ear. He wished he could believe it, but after she effortlessly threw away everything they had together, he doubted it.

  Tyler put an arm around his mother, she leaned her head against his shoulder and whispered, “You’re going to have to forgive her, eventually.” His chest constricted not for the first time that day. This wasn’t the time or place to deal with his feelings for Audrey. Today was about Eric.

  He squeezed his mother’s shoulder and kissed the top of her head and avoided responding to her. He looked around the room until his eyes landed on Jeff, Tracy, and Alexis. They seemed to be holding it together fairly well. Last night he and Alexis stayed up half the night, talking and crying about Eric. He held her until her tears dried.

  Alexis was a great mix of smart, nerdy, and beautiful. She worked as a model to pay for her degree in biology. When they were younger, their parents teased them about getting married. Unfortunately, neither was attracted to the other. She was just another sister to him.

  Their families had always been close. Tyler’s and Eric’s parents grew up together in Bend. They were next-door neighbors until the McHenry’s had to move to Portland for Jeff’s job when Eric was sixteen. By then Tyler was in college so they still saw each other all the time. He spent his weekends at their house instead of the dorm. It was why their house had always felt like a second home.

  He looked beyond Alexis to check on Katie…again. He was a little hurt when she held her hand up to keep him from going to her. It was obvious she was in distress and asking him to stay put was like asking him to hold back the tide. She was strong, there was no doubting that, but knowing what she went through this past year with her parents and dealing with a long distance relationship, he worried she finally hit her breaking point.

  The pressure in his chest eased slightly when her parents walked in, but her usually bright blue eyes were dull and her skin pale as she placed her hand on her stomach. She was making herself sick with grief. A day hadn’t gone by since he arrived that she hadn’t thrown up or had to lie down from feeling unwell.

  He practically had to force feed her this morning. He’d made her promise to take better care of herself. She gave him a forced smile and promised, but he didn’t believe her.

  Even though her parents surrounded her in a protective bubble, he felt a pull to go to her, hold her in his arms, and tell her everything would be all right. He knew those words wouldn’t ease her pain, but he needed to do something.

  Tyler moved from his spot next to his mother to roam the room, stopping to give hugs and to say a few words to Eric’s family, but his eyes never left her for long. No longer able to hold back, he made his way to the other side of the room just as she broke through her parent barrier and hurried up the stairs. Her parents didn’t follow but watched with worried expressions as she disappeared at the top of the stairs.

  He didn’t hesitate to follow her. It wasn’t a choice. He had to make sure she was okay. By the time he got to the upstairs landing, she was nowhere in sight. He walked down the hall, checking each room until he reached the bathroom at the end of the hall. He gave a slight knock. “Katie?” She didn’t respond, so he gave one more knock and gave her a warning. “I’m coming in.”

  He stepped inside and found her leaning against the wall next to the toilet. Her knees were pulled up to her chest and she silently cried into her hands. A stab to the heart would have been less painful than seeing her so broken. He closed the door behind him and locked it to make sure they had privacy. He sat down next to her, and she automatically leaned into him.

  “I’m pregnant,” she said between muffled cries. He pulled her onto his lap and held her. He ran a hand up and down her arm, trying to soothe her, but her cries only grew louder. “I’m pregnant and my boyfriend is dead,” she said between sobs.

  He had no idea what to say. His head was spinning from shock and that stabbing pain in his chest only worsened. Instead of speaking, his arms tightened around her, anchoring her to him as she opened up to him. “Ever since I was little, I’ve wanted to be a mom, but I always pictured myself having a stable career and being happily married.” He let go of her long enough to reach for the box of tissues sitting on the counter and handed it to her before putting his arms back around her.

  She relaxed in his hold and went on. “My husband would be just as excited to have a family. Now… Oh God. This child is going to grow up without a dad just like I did. I only have a part-time job and I’m a sophomore in college. I have nothing to give this child.”

  Picturing the life she wanted, he couldn’t help smile. It was beautiful and sweet, just like her. “Katie, you are going to be an amazing mom. Your life might not look the way you hoped, but you can still have that life. It’ll just come in a different order.”

  She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. Her glasses were sitting on the bathroom counter, so he got an obscured view of her beautiful blue eyes. They were slightly glassy from tears, but she looked at him in a way he felt throughout his whole body. Like he could move mountains. “How do you do that?” She shook her head and sighed.

  “Do what?” His right brow lifted in question.

  “Say exactly what I need to hear in the sweetest way possible.” She laid her head on his shoulder again, and he held her as her breathing evened out.

  “Did Eric know?” Tyler figured Eric would’ve called him the moment he found out, but maybe they were keeping it a secret for a while.

  “No. I was going to tell him the evening he died. You and Jason are the only ones who know. I’m not looking forward to telling the parents, but I need to before Mom and Billy go home.” She groaned.

  He had a pretty good idea why. “Your mother?” he asked. She nodded her head.

  “She’s going to go crazy. This is her worst nightmare. Me single, pregnant, and still a teenager. At least I’ll be twenty by the time the baby comes...but still.”

  “I can be there when you tell them if you want some moral support.”

  She lifted her head and gave me a sad smile. “Really? You would do that for me?” she asked while wiping at her eyes.

  “Anything for you, Katie.”

  A half-hour later, they left the bathroom and made their way down the stairs. When they reached the bottom step, he noticed Tracy watching them. Her eyes followed Katie as she returned to her parents then turned back to him and gave him a sad smile. She reached a hand out to him and pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek. “Thank you. I know he would appreciate you being here for Katie and us.” Her eyes glanced over his shoulder to Katie again. She let go when Tyler’s mother came over to say goodbye. She and his sisters had been here a few days, helping the McHenrys with arrangements, but his sisters had to get home to husbands, kids, and jobs.

  After a tear-filled goodbye between his mother and her longtime friends, he followed his mom and sisters to his sister’s minivan. He gave them each a hug and told them he would see them soon.

  As he took off his jacket and loosened his tie Audrey stepped out of the house,
her steps unsure as their eyes met. “Hey,” she said. He didn’t respond, instead stared at Eric’s truck still parked in the driveway.

  “I’m so sorry, Tyler. Eric was a great guy,” she said sincerely.

  He nodded and finally faced her.

  “If you ever want to talk or…” Her voice trailed off as he tried to keep any emotion from his expression. “Right.” She sighed. Shaking her head, she said, “You broke my heart too, Tyler. I understand if you don’t want to be my friend, but I had hoped we could at least speak to each other like adults. I guess I was wrong.” She turned to leave, but he reached for her hand and looked into her eyes. Feeling her hand in his, he was reminded of what he loved and missed about her. She was affectionate and kind. He knew in that moment the story she told wasn’t meant to hurt anyone but to make everyone smile.

  The wound from their breakup mixed with his grief forced tears to fall down his cheeks. She let go of his hand and put her arms around him. “I’m so sorry, Tyler. So sorry.” He wasn’t sure if it was for Eric or for leaving him. Maybe both, but at the moment, he didn’t care. It felt good to have her arms around him.

  “He really liked you, Audrey,” he whispered.

  “Please call me,” she said as she pulled away from him. “My cell phone number is still the same.” He knew but didn’t tell her that. She waved goodbye before turning and crossing the street to her parked car.

  He turned back to the house wanting to check on Katie. He still couldn’t believe she was pregnant. She was going to have a baby. The idea of there being a little Katie and Eric in the world brought a sad smile to his face.

  As if she knew he was thinking about her, Katie stepped outside and sat on the cement steps and leaned forward with her arms wrapped around her waist. Without saying a word, Tyler took a seat next to her and put an arm around her. He grieved for his friend who would never get to marry this sweet girl or ever see his child. He tightened his hold on her as if somehow he could transfer all of Eric’s love for her through him.