Bunyips and Billabongs

by Amy Hopkins

  “Young people. Humph. No respect for their elders. Back in my day, my father would have me whipped for insolence like that!” Regardless of her complaints, Mrs. Chu moved over and pressed a button on the ancient cash register, bringing it to life with a short beep. “What do you want?”

  The four students quickly placed their orders, and Penny grabbed four Cokes from the dripping fridge. She put them on the counter. Boots wriggled off Penny’s shoulders onto the floor, slithered to the fridge, and tapped her nose on the dripping wet glass.

  “A strawberry milk?” Penny asked.

  Boots nodded.

  “We don’t sell rats!” Mrs. Chu snapped. “Or raw eggs.”

  “Come on, Mrs. Chu.” Penny placed a child-sized bottle of bright pink milk next to the soft drinks. “You know she doesn’t eat stuff like that.”

  “Oh, and I suppose she doesn’t eat raw fish, either?” Mrs. Chu looked down her nose at Boots, who had perked up at the mention of a favorite treat. “Twenty-eight-twenty.”

  Penny handed her credit card to the old Chinese woman.

  Mrs. Chu gave her a sly smile. “Fifteen percent tip?”

  Snorting, Penny shook her head. “This is Australia, Mrs. Chu. We don’t tip here, remember?”

  “Ha! You’re American now, Penny. Americans tip! Fifteen percent!”

  Penny haggled her down to five, not begrudging the extra charge, but knowing that if she agreed to fifteen, Mrs. Chu would try and sting her for twenty-five next time she visited.

  Once she had paid, Penny gestured for her friends to join her outside. “She doesn’t like people hanging around when she cooks.”

  Penny leaned against the cool concrete wall and fanned her face with her hands. “I missed this weather.”

  “You miss it?” Amelia asked. She pointed to her hair, frizzy and curled from the humidity. “This weather hates me!”

  “I like it,” Red assured her. “It makes you look like a wild lass straight off the moors, as likely to stab her beau in the neck as kiss him.”

  “Dude, your taste in women is weird,” Cisco said. He dodged Amelia’s withering glare. “I didn’t mean it like that, Amelia!”

  “Are you okay?” Penny asked her. “The heat must really be getting to you. You didn’t even punch him.”

  Amelia wiped a sheen of sweat off her brow. “Could you do it? I just don’t have it in me right now.”

  Penny obliged, spinning around to throw a lazy fist at Cisco’s arm.

  He slipped away easily. “Ha, you missed.”

  “I wasn’t even trying.” A prickle of delight ran over Penny’s skin as she slipped into a proper defensive stance, fists raised to protect her face, her legs loose and ready to move. “You wanna give me another go?”

  Cisco immediately matched her stance. “Not really. You hurt when you punch.”

  “I’ll try to be nice.” Before Penny had finished speaking, she shot one fist out in a quick jab. Cisco easily dodged, but she hadn’t intended to hit him. Not yet, anyway.

  They circled each other, moving out onto the sticky asphalt of the parking lot. Heat rose in shimmering waves, and the sun beat down on Penny’s arms.

  She took a step, then flicked up a leg. Cisco blocked the kick and the spinning back-fist that came after it. He edged back before jumping toward her in a scissor kick. Penny spun out of the way, landing a strike across his shoulders. She thrust a leg out, foot striking his side hard enough to make him stumble.

  They parted, then came together in a flurry of punches, blocks, kicks, and spins, then separated again.

  Cisco gave her a wicked grin. “Loser buys the drinks tonight.”

  “No way. Dave already said he’d get the tab.” Penny waited until Cisco struck with a fist. She slapped it away with an open hand and spun behind him, using the momentum to plant a knife-hand strike in his left kidney. She dropped back, raising her fists again. “Winner gets a foot rub?”

  Cisco chuckled and agreed. He feinted to the left, catching Penny out in her eagerness to spar. He jabbed at the opening she left, striking a shoulder, quickly followed by an elbow to her gut. Penny growled, kicked the back of his knee, and wrenched his arm up behind his back.

  “I surrender!” Cisco gasped as she tightened her grip. “Mercy! I give up!”

  Penny let his arm go, stepped back, and bowed deeply to their audience.

  Sometime during the sparring session, Mrs. Chu had emerged from the shop. She stood watching, arms folded, lips pursed. “How many people are coming?” she asked.

  Penny frowned, confused. “People for what?”

  “The wedding.” Mrs. Chu jutted her chin at Cisco. “He’s short, but he will do. Mrs. Chu’s Chinese Take-Away will cater your wedding. How many people?”

  “I’ll let you know,” Penny said. The heat that flooded her face was from the sparring, she was sure. Definitely just the sparring.

  “Dumplings on a wedding menu sounds amazing,” Red gushed. “Are we invited, Penny? Cisco, can I be your best man?”

  “Best man?” Cisco scoffed. He seemed awfully flushed from the heat, too. “More like man’s best friend.”

  “Your lunch is ready.” Mrs. Chu blocked the doorway, hands on her hips. She glared at Boots. “No. Rats!”

  Boots chuckled a laugh and slithered between Mrs. Chu’s feet. The old woman snorted and strode back inside to grab the two plastic bags packed high with takeout containers. “Don’t forget your drinks. No refund if you leave without them!”

  Red grabbed the food and Cisco juggled the cans of Coke.

  “Where are we eating?” Amelia asked.

  Penny pointed back to the car. “There’s a rest stop just up from here. It’s shady, and the dunnies aren’t awful.”

  Chapter Nine

  It was a fifteen-minute drive down a dirt road to get to Dave's place. The Barina did an admirable job of navigating the ruts and bumps in the dusty road, although Penny's jaw ached from the teeth-chattering ride by the time they arrived.

  "Did the girlie drinks survive?" she asked Cisco as she climbed out of the car.

  He hefted a six-pack of drinks, a brightly labeled combination of pineapple, coconut rum, and grenadine. "They got a little fizzy. We might have to open them last."

  "Is it really a good idea to start the night on rum, and then move to the soft stuff?" Amelia asked, screwing up her face. "Apart from the fact that rum tastes awful unless you're already drunk."

  "If you think rum is a hard drink, wait until Dave busts out the moonshine." Penny chuckled. "Don't get me wrong, it tastes great. Just don't let him mix it for you. I swear the guy puts three parts alcohol to one part mixer. A couple of his drinks, and we won't be able to drive home for a week without blowing over the limit."

  "The more you tell me about Dave, the more I like him," Red said with a grin.

  Penny led the way up the steps of the old Queenslander, but instead of knocking on the front door, she followed the verandah around the side to the back of the house. She cupped her hands around her mouth and hollered, "Dave!"

  She was answered by the rumble of an engine and the squeaky toot of a horn. Looking toward the giant tin shed across the yard, Penny spotted Dave. He was driving a ride-on mower with a trailer attached to the back. He waved to them, the noise of the mower growing louder as he approached.

  When he reached the porch, he turned the key and switched off the engine.

  "Load her up, boys!" Dave called. He gestured to the trailer in the back, which held a large Esky, some pillows, and a duffel bag.

  Red hefted one of the beer cartons into the trailer, and Cisco carefully set the six-pack of fruity drinks beside it, then laid down the spirit bottles. Red peeked into the Esky, his eyes widening with delight when it revealed slabs of red meat on Styrofoam trays, covered in catering wrap.

  "Wow, that's a spread!" Cisco exclaimed.

  Dave grinned. "When was the last time you had real Aussie-grown steak cooked on an open fire?"

  Cisco shrugg
ed. "Never. Well, not Australian-grown beef, anyway. It's been years since I've had a proper steak at a campout, though."

  "It's gonna knock your socks off," Dave promised. He pointed to the trailer. "Hop in. I'll drive you down."

  It wasn't a tiny trailer, but Penny still felt squished once the four of them had squeezed in beside the cooler and the drinks. "Are we going down by the creek?" she asked.

  Dave nodded, starting the mower again. "Too damn hot for anything else," he yelled over the noisy motor. "Go for a swim, dry off by the fire, and drink the night away. It doesn’t get better than that!"

  Penny shared a contented glance with Cisco. "Sounds like we're in for a good night."

  He grinned. "That's if I can even move after you beat me up before. I might just float downstream, waiting for you to tow me back to shore. You know, I thought you were going to dislocate my knee."

  "I couldn't embarrass myself in front of Mrs. Chu," Penny protested. "She never would have let me live it down. Besides, now she approves of our relationship."

  "I didn't realize that was a prerequisite for us being together," Cisco remarked.

  "She's crazy, but she cares about me," Penny explained. "Then again, that goes for most of the people in this town."

  "I'm beginning to see that," Cisco said with a knowing glance toward Dave. "I gotta tell you, this is the most fun I've ever had on vacation."

  Penny shook her head. "We're not on holiday, remember? We've got a couple of nights of freedom, but then we're back on the job. Not to mention the exams we've got coming up."

  Amelia winced. "Did you have to remind us about that? This semester has been crazy. Between the adventure we had rescuing Trevor, and then being scooped up to come to Australia?" She shook her head. "I can't believe they still expect us to take our exams."

  Penny frowned. "That reminds me. Do any of you guys have your intake paperwork for next semester? I didn't before I left. It's normally sent out by now."

  Red and Amelia shook their heads, but Cisco frowned. "Something is up with that.".

  "What do you mean?" Red asked. As he spoke, he cracked open the carton of beer and pulled a few bottles out. He slipped them into the Esky, burying them deep in the ice to chill them for later.

  Cisco hesitated before answering. "I'm not sure. I just know that the FBI has really been pushing Dean March to get this first bunch of students qualified and out in the field. I think they might be restructuring this last semester or something. I don't know details, just that Dean March is pretty pissed off about it all. She doesn't think we're ready."

  Penny spent the rest of the trip in silence, musing about what that might mean. There was a very real probability that within the next six months, she and her friends would no longer be students at the Academy. Instead, they would be fully qualified FBI operatives, expected to hunt down and resolve conflicts with Mythers on a full-time basis. There is still so much to learn, she thought. So much we don't know.

  Of course, the lecturers at the Academy didn't necessarily know much more either. She had known from the beginning that most of her learning would be on the job, out in the field, getting hands-on experience. She glanced at Boots, who gave her a comforting head butt on the jaw.

  "What do you think, Boots?" Penny asked softly. Despite their noisy surroundings, Boots seemed to hear and understand her. "Are we ready for this?"

  Boots nodded exuberantly.

  The mower lurched to a halt, and Penny sprawled into Cisco's lap. Rather than help her up, he grinned cheekily. "You can stay if you want," he said.

  Penny rolled her eyes and climbed out of the trailer. "Help me get this Esky out, will you?"

  Cisco helped her heft the heavy cooler and carried it near the already crackling bonfire. He eyed the heat warily. "And to think, I thought it was hot before."

  Penny shook her head. "It's disgusting during the day, but it can still get a bit nippy at night. You'll be glad of it later. Besides, you can't cook without a fire."

  “I’m the one who’s cooking,” he insisted. “But I’d rather boil than bake. Where’s the creek?”

  Dave waved Penny and her friends off, insisting they go swim while he tended the fire. Penny led Cisco down the narrow track through the scrub that lined the waterway, dumping her bag beside the water. “Turn around.”

  The boys let Penny and Amelia change into swimsuits first, not bothering to do more than strip down to shorts. Penny waded into the water, pushing off as the sandy bottom dropped away. She lazily swam to the middle and drifted downstream a bit before swimming back to her friends.

  “Where’s my pool noodle?” Penny called.

  Boots responded by spitting water into her face. Penny tweaked her tail, and the snake darted forward and wrapped Penny in a python’s death grip. Penny let Boots pull her under the water, playing dead until the serpent let go in a huff. Boots nudged Penny’s feet and guided her up to the surface in a whoosh. Penny, familiar with the trick, waited until her body broke the water before pushing off Boots’ nose and launching into a flip, splashing back down into the water with glee.

  “Woah!” Cisco clapped. “Boots, do me next?”

  Penny swam over to Amelia and watched as the boys played with Boots, diving and flipping, and once, using Boots as a rope swing as she dangled from a branch hanging over the water.

  “See?” Penny giggled. “She’s a glorified pool noodle.”

  Shadows soon stretched over the water, and the air cooled enough to give Penny goosebumps.

  When they returned to the makeshift camp, Dave had finished setting up and was sprawled by the fire beside one empty beer and one still full. The drinks were stacked by the Esky, pillows spread against a fat log, and some blankets were spread out over the ground.

  Dave gestured at the accommodations. "It's no five-star hotel," he said with a shrug. "But you can't beat the view. Especially once the stars come out."

  He was right. As afternoon turned to dusk and dusk turned to twilight, stars pierced the purple sky one by one. Embers from the fire flew up toward them, sweeping and twirling in the soft breeze.

  Penny reached for another beer, but Dave waved her hand away. "Are we ready for the good stuff?"

  "Sure," Penny said. "But I'll pour it myself, thanks."

  "Look, I only made you throw up that one time. I didn't know you were so soft." Dave reached behind the log and pulled out two bottles, one filled with a clear liquid, the other bright purple.

  "What the hell is that?" Penny asked skeptically.

  Dave gave a proud grin. "I call it unicorn piss. It's basically gin with some fairy floss flavoring in it. Trust me, you'll love it."

  He poured five shots and handed one out to everyone. Penny sniffed the sickly-sweet brew and wrinkled her nose. "I'm going to spend the rest of the night throwing up, aren't I?"

  Dave shrugged. "I give you more credit than that, personally." He nodded at Red, who was staring at the fire with a dopey smile. "Not sure about your friend, though."

  Amelia looked from Dave to Red, then plucked Red's shot glass out of his hand. "You have a point. I'm not cleaning up his mess tonight—or any night."

  “I’m Irish,” Red protested. “I can hold me drinks.”

  Penny squeezed her eyes closed, then threw the shot back. She almost spat it out again. "Dave, that's disgusting! I'm pretty sure actual unicorn piss would taste better."

  “You’ve never met a unicorn,” Dave said, tipping his head to one side. “Have you?”

  “Damn straight, I have,” Penny said proudly. “I raced it on a motorbike.”

  “Ah, come on, love. Not like you to tell a furphy.” Dave shook his head, disappointed. “I saw you on old Mike Wallace’s trail bike. No way were you racing anything on two wheels.”

  “She was pretty bad when we started,” Cisco admitted. He caught Penny’s offended punch, laughing. “You were! But you got the hang of it eventually.”

  “I could kick your ass in a race,” Penny shot back.

&nb
sp; Cisco snorted. “Don’t bet on it. You’re okay, but you’re still not as good as me.” He waved his hands to diffuse her outrage. “You can kick my ass on four wheels, that’s a given. Just not on a bike.”

  Dave gave a low whistle. “Little Penny racin’ around on a motorbike? That uni must be teaching you some pretty cool stuff.”

  “It’s an Academy.” Penny corrected him with a posh British accent and a wave of her hand.

  “Oh, right.” Dave grinned. “Graduated from the school of hard knocks, meself. Don’t think I’d fit in at one of those Academies.”

  Penny waved away his statement. “You’d fit in fine. I mean, if I can not only share a room with a glitzy shopaholic but end up best mates with her, you would make friends with half the campus before the first week is out. And the classes aren’t what you’d expect. There’s book work, sure, but it’s all old legends and myths. You know more stories than anyone I know! And the rest is practical, things like defensive driving, shooting, hand to hand combat...”

  Red clapped a sloppy hand on Dave’s shoulder. “Aye, she’s right, mate. You might be a wee bit older than the rest of us, but you’d be welcome. You look like a practical man, and more importantly, you have a lot of booze. I’ve never seen anyone with so many bottles of liquor. We’d love to have you come visit!”

  Dave patted Red’s hand and poured him another drink. “You’re a good one for an Irishman.”

  “Aye, I am.” Red squinted at the sky, where stars clustered amongst the Milky Way across from a bloated half-moon. “Until the full moon. Then I turn into a right prick for a while.”

  Dave shot Penny a quizzical look, but before she could attempt to explain, he held up his hands. “Shh! You hear that?”

  A scuffle in the nearby grass made the hairs on Penny’s neck prickle. She slowly turned over onto hands and knees and peered over the fat log. “Is that a wallaby?” she asked in a whisper.

  “Penny, what’s wrong with it?” Amelia sounded worried.

  The small mammal waddled a few steps in their direction, bright black eyes reflecting the firelight. Then, it turned and scurried away with an awkward gait. A stick dragged behind it, scraping over the ground.