If It Isn't Love

by Hodges, Cheris

  Ingrid smiled and slipped her hand inside his pants to see how ready he was. Closing her hand around his thick erection, she rose to her feet, stroking him up and down nearly causing his knees to buckle.

  “Ooh, don’t do that or I won’t be able to walk up those stairs.”

  “I know,” she said, still stroking him as they took baby steps to the staircase. They made it midway up the stairs before Jason decided he was way too hot to take another step. Gently he pushed Ingrid back on the stairs. “Need to taste you,” he moaned, desire making his mouth water and his tongue heavy. He snatched her pants down to her ankles, then in a swift motion, he had her legs spread apart and the waistband of her panties between his teeth. With his finger, he traced her wet flesh, making her wetter and wetter. Ingrid swallowed moans of desire fearing she’d wake DeShawn as Jason pressed his finger deeper into her valley. Jason removed his finger and brought it to his lips then licked her sticky sweet essence. Ingrid shuddered as his head dipped between her thighs. Biting her lip, she braced for the moment when his tongue would touch her throbbing bud. When it did, she grabbed the edge of the stair and trembled. Jason drew circles inside her, tasting her love and branding her as his with his tongue.

  Though she wanted to lose herself in his intimate kiss, Ingrid pushed his head to the side. “We have to get up these stairs,” she said. “I can’t take it anymore.”

  “Now you know how I felt,” he said as he kissed her inner thigh and finished removing her pants and underwear. On shaky feet, Ingrid stood up and held on to the railing as she headed up the stairs to her bedroom. When they made it to the door, Jason wrapped his arms around her waist and slowly kissed the back of her neck. Ingrid felt chills vibrate up and down her spine. Jason slipped his hand between her thighs as she stumbled across the threshold of her bedroom. Gently, he stroked her until her knees buckled. Ingrid fell back on the bed and Jason stripped his clothes off.

  He joined Ingrid in the middle of the bed and she wrapped her arms around him then began to kiss him slowly. She reached down and stroked his hardness and pressed it against her thighs. Ingrid parted her legs and mounted Jason. He struggled not to dive into her wetness. Leaning into him, she kissed his neck gently, flicking her tongue up and down his muscular column. Jason squirmed underneath her kiss as Ingrid inched down his body, spending time around his nipples and moving down to his sculptured abs. When Jason felt her warm breath at the tip of his penis, he arched his back in anticipation. She took the length of him into her mouth, her hand moving swiftly up and down his shaft as she sucked.

  “Oh yeah,” he moaned as she took him deeper into her mouth. Jason struggled not to climax, struggled not to give in to the passion. He held her head between his hands and pulled her back. “Need. You.”

  “You got me,” she said. “You got me.”

  Jason wrapped his arms around her waist and turned her on her side then he brought her between his legs and stared into her eyes. “Do I really have you? Body, mind and soul?”

  “Yes,” she breathed. “Yes.”

  “I want you to be mine, forever, no more distractions. No more heartache.”

  Ingrid brushed her lips against his. “Can you give me that? Can you make sure we have no more distractions, no more heartache?”

  He kissed her gently then said, “I’m committed to making this work. I want to be with you forever.”

  Ingrid wrapped her leg around his waist, pulling him closer to her womanly core. “Love me,” she moaned.

  Jason dove into her, relishing in her wetness and loving the feel of her body wrapped around his. They rocked slowly, building heat between them that could set a city block on fire. Ingrid’s moans were like the sweetest music to his ears. When she ground against him, Jason felt as if he was about to explode. She was so wet, so hot and everything that he’d ever want.

  “I love you,” he groaned. “Ingrid, I love you.”

  She closed her eyes and in a voice that she didn’t even know she had, she proclaimed, “I love you, too. Always. Loved. You.”

  Together, they rode into bliss, reaching their climax together and holding each other tightly as they drifted off to sleep.

  Chapter Eighteen

  It was the middle of night when Ingrid woke up with a start. Jason’s arms held her and she’d initially thought she was dreaming. But she wasn’t. They’d made love and he was still here. But how long would all of this last?

  Stop second-guessing yourself, Ingrid chided. Jason doesn’t have to be here. Not when Debony is willing and waiting to screw his brains out. I’m sure Ruby would import any woman he wanted to get him out of my life. But he wants to be here and DeShawn deserves to know the truth. She inched out of his embrace, stole out of the bed, put her robe on and headed down the hall to check on DeShawn. Thankfully he was still sleeping. She walked into his bedroom and kissed his forehead as she adjusted his Batman blanket. Looking down at her son, Ingrid felt a rush of guilt wash over her. Why did she feel the need to hide him from Jason three years ago? Why was she foolish enough to believe Ruby’s lies? If anything, she should’ve believed in the love she and Jason had.

  Yes, he wanted to sing and be a star, but how could she think he would’ve abandoned his child after the family life he had growing up?

  Because she was Lois Russell’s daughter and she believed what her mother had always said about her own father. He was a faceless man who’d disappeared when she was three years old. Lois had said that her father loved the Army more than he loved his family. While he sent a monthly check, Ingrid never met her father and Lois instilled in her that men didn’t always take care of their responsibilities if it got in the way of their desires.

  Maybe that was why she’d allowed Ruby’s words stab her and force her out of New York.

  I can’t do to DeShawn what my mother did to me, she thought.

  “Hey,” Jason whispered from the doorway. “I was wondering where you disappeared to.”

  She waved him into the room. Jason stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Nothing’s wrong is it?” he asked, his voice filled with concern.

  “He’s fine, I always check on him in the middle of the night,” she said. “Just to see what it’s like to have a peaceful night of sleep. He has no worries and is probably dreaming about his next art project.”

  Jason smiled as he stared at his son and Ingrid. “What’s it going to take for his mom to sleep like that too?”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “Telling him the truth and giving him the family that he deserves.”

  “And we’re going to do that, together. He's going to have his mother and father and you’re going to have the husband I should’ve been three years ago.”

  Ingrid leaned against his chest and smiled. “Is it really going to be that easy?”

  “If we want it to be,” he said.

  She turned around and faced him with a slight smile on her lips, “Then I guess we know what we have to do. I’ve got to get some sleep, I have to open the restaurant in the morning.”

  Jason kissed her on the cheek and they headed back to the bedroom. Once they were in bed, Ingrid nestled against Jason and slept peacefully just like DeShawn.

  Morning came around too soon for Jason’s taste. The blaring of Ingrid’s alarm clock hit him like a ton of bricks, especially since it was still dark outside. He groaned as Ingrid reached over him and hit the snooze button. It didn’t feel like five minutes when the clock buzzed again. This time, Ingrid got up and Jason groaned again. He was enjoying the warmth of Ingrid’s body against his.

  “Do you have to leave?” he asked, his voice thick with sleep.

  “Get used to it,” Ingrid said groggily then padded into the bathroom. Jason listened as the shower started and smiled. He was going to have to talk to her about getting someone to open up in the mornings so that they could spend their mornings sleeping and wrapped up in each other’s arms.

  Moments later, Ingrid walked out of the bathroom wrapped i
n a fluffy pink towel. Water glistened on her skin and Jason’s body took notice.

  “You really have to leave?” he asked as he sat up in the bed, tossing the blanket back.

  Ingrid glanced over her shoulder as she dropped her towel. “Yes, but I can certainly make it up to you later.”

  Jason leapt out of bed and crossed over to her, he took a hold of her naked body and kissed her on the back of her neck.

  “Umm,” she said. “You’re not making it easy for me to leave and open my restaurant.”

  “I know.”

  “Jason,” she moaned as he rained gentle kisses down on her neck.

  “You know you don’t want to go,” he said as he blew on her neck, making her shiver.

  “But I have to,” she said as she reluctantly pulled away from him.

  Jason stepped back and took a seat on the edge of the bed. He watched Ingrid as she dressed. “I know why you keep that place open, but have you given any thought as to what’s it going to take to make you happy?”

  “I thought about working on my book, but. . .I don’t know, I don’t really have time to finish it and you might not like it,” she said with a smile as she slipped on her black pants.

  “So, you’re writing about me?”

  “About my life, calling it fiction because no one would believe it really happened that way.”

  “If you want to get it published, I know some people in New York at different publishing houses.” Jason shrugged his shoulders. “As long as you say it’s fiction.”

  Ingrid pulled her shirt over her head and crossed over to him. “Afraid of what I might say about you?”

  “I know your story is going to have a happy ending, though your first draft may not have.”

  “Work, I have to go to work,” she said as she broke his intense gaze. “I’ll be back around noon. Why don’t you bring DeShawn to the restaurant for breakfast?”

  “Sounds like a plan, but it won’t be for a while.” Ingrid gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before she headed out of the room.

  Jason lay back in the bed listening as she stopped in DeShawn’s room before heading downstairs. It was time to face the music, Jason knew he was going to have to talk to Lois and Ruby in order to clear the path for a happy life with Ingrid and his son. But he knew for certain that he was talking to anyone until he got some more sleep.

  The next time he woke up, DeShawn was standing at the head of the bed poking him in the shoulder.

  “What’s up, little man,” Jason said groggily.

  “Where’s my mommy?”

  “She’s at work.” Jason sat up with the blanket across his lap. “Why don’t we get dressed and go have breakfast at the restaurant.”

  DeShawn smiled. “OK,” he said happily then dashed out of the room. Jason stood up and reached for his discarded boxer shorts, put them on and headed to the bathroom in the hallway behind his son.

  “You need some help in here?”

  DeShawn turned around and looked at him. “I’m a big boy. I can wash my face and brush my teeth by myself.”

  “All right,” Jason said, unsure if he should walk out of the bathroom or watch the little boy until he was dressed and ready to go. He thought about all of the stories he’d heard about kids drowning in a few ounces of water. What if something happened to his son? Ingrid would kill him.

  DeShawn looked back at Jason and pointed to the door. “You can go take your shower now,” he said.

  “I’ll wait until you finish,” Jason replied. “You get in the shower and I’ll brush my teeth.”

  “OK,” DeShawn said.

  Jason turned the shower on for the little boy then grabbed a towel from the linen closet and placed it on the back of the toilet as DeShawn got into the shower. Jason washed his face as he listened to his son splash around in the shower. Smiling, he thought about how he used to take his time in the shower when he was younger. That’s where he used to sing and dance as if he were on stage.

  Jason wondered if his son wanted to sing. That would be amazing if he could cultivate a love of music in his son. Then one day they’d be like Brian McKnight and his sons, singing and recording music together.

  After DeShawn was finished in the shower and headed into his bedroom to dress, Jason took a quick shower of his own, even though he had to dress in the same clothes he had worn the night before. When the two were dressed, they headed out to Jason’s Mustang. He strapped DeShawn into the back seat and they headed down the street to the restaurant. Jason spent as much time glancing in the rear view mirror checking on his son as he did paying attention to the road.

  DeShawn was oblivious to his father’s concentration on him as he watched the landscape passing him by. Jason smiled, thinking that his son would probably draw a picture with trees and bushes soon.

  As they pulled up to the restaurant, Jason wondered if Ingrid would be able to walk away from this place ever.

  Ingrid had been floating on air since she walked into the restaurant that morning. “Miss Ingrid,” Dina said, “why are you so happy?”

  “What are you talking about?” Ingrid asked, fighting the urge to smile brightly.

  “Are you and Jay Slade back together?”

  Before Ingrid could confirm or deny, the door to the restaurant opened and Jason and DeShawn walked into the restaurant. “Mommy,” the little boy called out when he spotted her. He and Jason hopped up two stools in front of the bar. Jason winked at Ingrid and Dina clapped her hands before dashing off to her table of customers.

  “Mr. Jason said you were going to make us a special breakfast,” DeShawn said.

  “Really? What did Mr. Jason say I was going to make?” Ingrid wanted to lean over and kiss Jason but she could feel every eye in the restaurant watching their every move.

  “Pancakes with chocolate chips,” DeShawn said.

  “That sounds like something DeShawn wants,” Ingrid said. “And what can I get for you, Jason?”

  “Well, I doubt that it’s on the menu,” he said in a low voice.

  Heat rose to Ingrid’s cheeks as she thought about the night they’d shared together. “So,” Jason said. “I’ll take what the kid is having and a cup of coffee.”

  “Chocolate chip pancakes for everybody, huh?” Ingrid said as she headed back to the kitchen. After she set the pancakes on the griddle, she headed back out front with Jason’s coffee and orange juice for DeShawn. “Here you go.”

  “Why don’t you sit down with us?” Jason said.

  Ingrid waved her hand around the half full restaurant. “I can’t,” she said as Dina walked by her.

  “Yes, you can,” she said. “I’ll take over your tables.”

  Ingrid smiled and poured herself a cup of coffee then sat down beside Jason. He took her hand in his and kissed it. “Your staff loves you,” he said.

  “They do and that’s one reason why I’ve decided to keep this place open,” she said as she took a sip of her coffee.

  “Have you ever thought about letting them run the place?”

  “Can we talk about this later? I don’t want all of these prying ears to hear what we’re talking about and start spreading the word of me doing something with this place. But I wonder, why is it so important to you that I let someone else run this place? Is it because of Louis?” she asked. Before Jason could answer, the bell rang from the kitchen, indicating that their order was ready.

  Ingrid got up and grabbed the plates, leaving Jason to ponder her question. He knew what the real deal was with her and Louis. But for some reason, he still had a problem with her ties to Louis.

  “Here’s breakfast,” Ingrid said to her son as she set his plate of chocolate chip pancakes in front of him. She leaned in and kissed him on the forehead.

  “Thanks, Mommy,” he said as he dug into his food. Ingrid turned to Jason.

  “You’re not eating,” she said.

  “I was thinking about what you said,” he replied quietly. “Maybe I’m a little jealous of this place.”


  “Why? It makes no sense,” Ingrid said. “Unlike Debony, Louis is dead and we never slept together.” She looked around to make sure no one had heard her revelation. “Debony’s still around, so if anyone should feel jealous, don’t you think I hold that card?”

  “There was never anything real between me and Debony. The whole time I was with her that night, all I could think about was you. And I know it sounds cliché, but it’s the truth. Maybe I just want a clean slate on both our parts.”

  “But it’s not a clean slate when Debony is still here,” Ingrid said. “Especially since Ruby is the same snake that she’s always been. I know she wants to keep us apart now just like New York.”

  “You want me to send them away?”

  Ingrid placed her hands on her hips and looked into his eyes. “Yes. No. Don’t you have to do this contest? I’m not going to be petty. I trust that you love me and we’re going to be together no matter what or who’s in town.”

  Then the door to the restaurant opened and Lois Russell walked in. She opened her mouth to speak to her daughter until she recognized Jason was the patron Ingrid was talking to.

  “Well,” Lois said as she stalked over to the bar. “Isn’t this just cozy.”

  “Hi, Grandma,” DeShawn said. Lois leaned over and kissed her grandson, then offered him a forced smile.

  “Ingrid, what’s going on here?” Lois asked, not trying to keep her voice low.

  A few heads turned in their direction, but Lois continued with her railing. “Are you going to let him walk back into your life and pretend that he didn’t hurt you and force you into living a lie?”

  “Mother!” Ingrid yelled. “This isn’t the time or the place.”

  “Mrs. Russell, things have changed with me and Ingrid,” Jason said. “We have. . .”

  “A child, now you think you can come in and be a father after someone else did all the heavy lifting. You’ve always been trash. You came from trash, you treated my daughter like trash and you didn’t even acknowledge your own child. I guess this is good publicity for your new album or something. Because I know you don’t give a damn about DeShawn or Ingrid.”