Silenced

by Alicia Renee Kline

  Matthew and Lauren got up to leave soon after I went back inside. Though I hated drawing the proverbial line in the sand, if anything, my toes were slightly over on Chris’s side. My championing for Blake had only cemented this position in their eyes. And though they didn’t blame me for it, the same notions of support weren’t voiced as I told them goodbye. Instead, Lauren looked at me silently, trying to gauge my next step.

  “I’m doing all I can,” I promised. “You have to give her more time.”

  Lauren bit her lip, then moved along when Matthew slid his arm around her waist, ushering her to his Camry. I knew he’d take it upon himself to go pick up Sadie from Regina’s home, where she had been stationed during our impromptu meeting. I closed the door behind them, leaning into it for a moment as I regained some of my rapidly draining strength.

  “Takes a lot out of you, doesn’t it?” Will asked as he came up behind me.

  “For once, I’m just glad that I’m not the person everyone is worried about. Who’d have thought that the single ones would be the least fucked up of the bunch?”

  “We aren’t exactly single,” he hedged. “And we’ve got plenty more time to develop neuroses of our own.”

  “So reassuring.”

  “I try.”

  “Want a beer?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood. Friends had a tendency to put a damper on things sometimes.

  “Please. I think we deserve a couple after that.”

  When I returned from the kitchen, a couple bottles in each hand, Will had already taken up residence on the couch. Remote control in one hand, feet propped up on my coffee table, he looked just as comfortable there as he did in his own place. I hovered in the doorway for a moment, taking in the view.

  Chris could say all he wanted to about lack of commitment on Will’s part, but for me, this tableau was huge. For once, all the crazy had left my house and what remained was perfectly normal. With just the two of us here, I could forget all of the other problems on the outskirts of my life.

  Well, once I broached the subject of him talking to Blake, anyway.

  “About time, woman,” Will quipped as I approached, pressing one of the beers into his outstretched palm. After smacking the top of his head, I set the two extras down before us, then settled onto the cushion beside him with my own drink.

  After taking a pull of liquid courage, I opened my mouth to speak.

  Will beat me to the punch.

  “You weren’t joking, were you?” he asked. “About me talking to Blake?”

  “Well no, not really.”

  He sighed. “What a way to emasculate me, darling. Make me talk babies with the pregnant lady.”

  “It’s not like that. And I wouldn’t make you go alone unless you wanted to.”

  “It might be easier if I did. The less people that see me die of embarrassment, the better.”

  “It’s just that like I said earlier, you’ve been through this before. And in any other circumstances, she’d be asking Lauren and Matthew for advice, but that’s not a possibility. Maybe if you could just say some things, put her mind at ease, it would make things better. And easier for me in the long run. See? I really do mean well.”

  He laughed. “I know you do. And consider it done.”

  “Awww. Really?”

  “Really.”

  “Thanks. Chris would have asked you himself, but he’s all over the place. And for some reason, it just seemed awkward for him to do it when it was my idea anyway.”

  Will’s face clouded over for a split second. I’d seen it before when Chris and I were in cahoots. Something that on other guys I’d attribute to jealousy, but with him didn’t seem applicable. Chris and I were like brother and sister. A demonstrative, touchy feely brother and sister, but siblings nonetheless. Just like I had been with Matthew at times, though on a decidedly more intense level. Either way, there was no need for him to be concerned.

  “So just stop by the shop someday on the pretense of picking me up for lunch or something,” I said quickly, attempting to avert his attention from the reminder of whatever the mention of Chris had evoked. “We’ll make it look natural, like you’re simply curious about how she’s feeling. Then offer up some of your wisdom to put her at ease. Nothing scary, nothing over the top.”

  “And here I thought that Gracie Alexander only had one setting: over the top.”

  “Only when it comes to some things. She’s my friend, and I worry about her. So I’ll do whatever it takes to help her out. She can’t go this all alone.”

  “No,” Will agreed, “that won’t do her any good. She needs to have someone she can confide in. And since you and Chris are both lacking in the parental experience department, I suppose that’s where I come in.”

  “I’m glad you understand. And speaking of parenting, is Emma still set on Minnesota?”

  The conversation shifting to something he clearly felt more comfortable with, the tension in his limbs released. Which was ironic, considering we were discussing his only child preparing to set off for the great unknown hundreds of miles away.

  “Yep,” he confirmed. “And the best thing is, it pisses Stephanie off something fierce.”

  “That was part of the plan all along, wasn’t it?”

  He shrugged. “I really couldn’t tell you. I think it’s just a fortunate side effect, actually. In the back of my mind, I wondered if Emma wouldn’t want to go back home.”

  Home. The thought put immediate ice into my veins. The word had fallen so easily from his lips, like he considered Minnesota home himself. I stole a glimpse of him in my peripheral vision, debating his meaning.

  When I couldn’t decipher anything, nor wait any longer for context clues, I voiced the question I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer to.

  “Is Minnesota your home, too?”

  Will took a gulp of his beer. I held my breath as I watched him swallow.

  “It used to be,” he stated.

  Air filled my lungs once more, and the unease in my stomach lifted considerably.

  “My parents are still there, and Emma’s kept in touch with some of her friends from back there, so she has more draw to the place than I do. And if she gets accepted up there, I’ll have an excuse to bring you along to visit.”

  “A meet the parents kind of thing?”

  “Perhaps.”

  “Hmmm.” It was my turn to take a long reflective drink. A burning question rumbled up from my core, not sated one bit by the alcohol. And since we were breaking down walls one right after the other, it didn’t surprise me when my thought popped right out of my mouth as soon as my lips left the bottle. “When is your lease up?”

  “What now?”

  Damn him. He was going to make me say it again.

  “On your duplex. When does your lease run out?”

  His green eyes bore into mine. I stared right back, refusing to stand down. We both knew what I was asking, even if it was in the most roundabout way possible.

  “Are you sure you want to do that?” he asked, in lieu of answering my question.

  “Are you sure you don’t?”

  Will leaned away from me, resting his beer on the table. Within a split second, he’d returned to my side, his hand cupping my chin. His thumb caressed my jawline, sending shivers down my spine. He just looked at me, saying nothing.

  So my immediate reflex was to babble.

  “Look, I’m not about to push you into anything that you don’t want to do. And if you want to wait until Emma’s gone away to school so we can pretend like we aren’t screwing each other already, that’s fine, too. I was just thinking that you already can’t say goodbye to me, and this way, you’d never have to. I’m not going anywhere. This is my damn house.”

  He silenced me with a kiss. The course hair of his goatee tickled my skin as he continued down my neck. His fingers worked to pry the bottle from my hand, sliding the empty to the floor by our feet. I took his actions to mean that he wasn’t entirely petrified of the prospect of us
living together.

  “Six months,” he whispered, his breath hot and lustful in my ear.

  “Okay,” I croaked, impressed that I could utter anything resembling the English language.

  He hadn’t flat out turned me down, and his contractual obligation to his current landlord bought me enough time to get him warmed up to the idea. It was already a wonderful sign that he hadn’t balked completely. Our relationship was growing by leaps and bounds, when at one time, I’d feared him leaving me forever.

  And then it came. The admission that made my heart fill with so much love for this man, even as I fisted both my hands in his hair.

  He looked me straight in the eye when he said it, so there was no room for misinterpretation.

  “I’m not sure I can wait that long.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Blake

  The bell over the front door to the shop chimed its happy little melody, and Gracie barely batted an eyelash. Visitors were an anomaly at our storefront, especially since the cast of usual characters had been permanently reduced by two. The mailman had already made his appearance, and Chris was at work, so my bets were on Will being the culprit. But my partner remained seated at the worktable, nose buried in her project as she sketched something on the notepad in front of her.

  “Anybody home?” came our guest’s voice from the foyer, confirming my suspicions.

  I waited for Gracie to acknowledge him. When she didn’t, I sighed dramatically and called out to him. “Back here!” I boomed, lowering my ever-growing body down from my stool.

  Only when Will stood on the other side of the table did Gracie look up and seem to realize that he was there. A small smile slid upon her face before she returned to her notebook, scribbling furiously away. If Will hadn’t have returned the favor, I might have been concerned that there was trouble in paradise. But neither one of them appeared worse for the wear.

  Instead, I felt like I was being set up.

  Clearly Will was not working today. Clad in jeans and a blue button down shirt, curly hair remarkably untamed, I could understand why Gracie was enamored. He was the type of guy who was attractive without intending to be, a rather unassuming type. He didn’t have the swagger of my brother, or even the confidence of Chris, but most women would consider him to be a catch despite that. A truly nice guy, easy on the eyes. And his eyes were focused on his own lady love, attempting to communicate with her telepathically. It didn’t work.

  “So,” he said awkwardly, “I was getting ready to go to lunch.”

  Gracie nodded, barely looking up from her drawing. “I’m not really hungry right now, dearest. Inspiration has struck, and it’s speaking to me louder than my stomach. You should go with Blake. She’s always hungry now.”

  Will, thankfully, didn’t run with that comment. I felt heat rise to my cheeks, but I couldn’t argue with her assessment. It was true.

  When both of us remained quiet, Gracie slammed her pencil down on the table top. “I said go,” she commanded.

  I jumped and Will sprang to attention. While Will provided Gracie with a chaste kiss, but notably not a goodbye, I grabbed my purse from my desk drawer. Apparently, this was all part of the plan. I idly wondered why she wanted the two of us alone together, but it really didn’t matter. Afraid to face her wrath if I didn’t obey her wishes, I was about to find out first hand.

  Will trailed me back out to the seating area, quickening his pace and sliding ahead of me to open the door. He ushered me outside, hand firmly on the small of my back. When a glass barrier existed between us and Gracie, he felt enough at ease to speak freely.

  “I’m sorry about that back there,” he apologized.

  I shrugged. “Don’t worry about it. When Gracie makes up her mind about something, she goes all in. And obviously, she wanted me to talk to you.”

  I hoped he’d grasp onto my leading statement and let me know what was up, but he didn’t.

  “I’ll drive.” He nodded towards his Wrangler, parked conveniently at the curb. I breathed a sigh of relief. Though I knew he didn’t utilize his take home car that much, I hadn’t completely pushed down the fear that he’d be hauling me around town in his police cruiser. In the short amount of time that our date had been a forgone conclusion, I’d never questioned his chivalrous intentions. There was no way we’d be taking my car.

  He opened the passenger door for me, holding out his hand for me to take as he assisted me into the Jeep. Stopping short of buckling me in, he shut the door for me when I had settled into my seat, then jogged around the front of the vehicle to get in on his side.

  I set my purse down on the floorboard and pretended not to notice that this was an uncomfortable situation. While I could talk to anyone, Will wasn’t exactly the social butterfly type. His nervousness was seeping over into my psyche.

  “So how did you get into law enforcement?” I asked, figuring it was a safe enough topic with which to break the ice.

  He shrugged. “I wish I had a great story about a long standing family tradition of public service or something. But I don’t. I guess it’s because I always wanted to help people.”

  “There’s lots of ways to help people that don’t require carrying a gun and risking your life on a daily basis.”

  He grinned, and the tension level in the vehicle lowered considerably. “The getting a cool car with flashing lights and sirens also was a deciding factor.”

  “Every little boy’s dream, right?”

  “One of them.”

  I ran my fingers through my hair, absentmindedly twisting the blue section around my index finger. “Tell me something I don’t know. Chris is all about the ambulance too, though his job is decidedly less cool because he’s minus the weapon and the handcuffs.”

  Will’s face reddened at my comment, and I questioned what I’d said to evoke that reaction. I decided to let it drop about the same exact time he deftly changed the subject, asking me where we were headed to for our impromptu meal.

  I directed him to my favorite Mexican restaurant just on the edge of downtown Fort Wayne. A place whose scenery would make me feel at ease, even if my companion couldn’t. Since I’d been instrumental in remodeling the place, its owner and I had become fairly close. I frequented the establishment on a regular basis, both personally and professionally. And thankfully, my pregnancy hadn’t altered my love for the food there.

  Predicting that he’d be as gentlemanly on the way out of the Jeep as he was on the way in, I sat tight in my seat after he’d parked. Will didn’t disappoint, quickly vacating his side and coming around mine to help me down. He extended his hand, which I took in mine, then waited as I dismounted with as much grace as I could.

  On my way down, I caught the eye of a woman walking across the parking lot. She smiled widely at the display, apparently buying into her own overactive imagination. It was obvious she was longing for her own knight in shining armor who’d help pregnant ladies out of cars, and that she thought Will was mine.

  “The lady at ten o’clock thinks we’re together,” I muttered to him. He let go of my hand like it was ablaze, prompting me to laugh.

  “No offense,” he amended.

  “None taken. You’re actually not a half-bad catch yourself.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  Our playful banter took us all the way to the front door, which Will held open for me. We were greeted by the owner herself, who quickly took us to a secluded table in the back of the place. Will and I didn’t receive the same scrutiny from her; she had met Chris on several occasions, even overhearing my now-husband as he’d propositioned me into dating him again and rekindling our former flame.

  “I know it’s a bit too late now, but I hope you like Mexican food.” I blushed as I slid my unnecessary menu to the edge of the table. He likely didn’t see the color in my face due to the dim lighting, but it was there all the same.

  “I do, and it wouldn’t be a problem anyway even if I didn’t,” he smirked from over his own menu. “I learne
d a long time ago not to argue with a pregnant woman.”

  “I take it Stephanie wasn’t the stereotypical glowing mother-to-be when she was expecting Emma?”

  He snorted. “Anything but. Emma wasn’t exactly planned. It was more like a giant wake up call to the both of us. We’d always thought that it would be just the two of us for a few years, not having a baby damn near straight out of high school.”

  As if he’d said something wrong, his eyes shot back down to the menu like it was the most interesting thing on the face of the planet. It took me a moment to catch up. If things had happened differently, then Chris and I would have been in exactly the same boat. Only Will’s child was alive and well, and mine wasn’t.

  Impulsively, I reached across the table and grabbed his hand. “It’s okay. You didn’t mean anything by it.”

  He lowered the menu and scrubbed his face with his free hand. “I’m sorry. I’m fucking this all up, aren’t I?”

  “Fucking what up?”

  He sighed, battling internally with whether or not to tell me what was really going on. By now, I already had my hypothesis formulated. So I decided to make it easier for him.

  “Gracie wanted you to provide me with some words of wisdom to make me feel better,” I theorized. “Because you’re a dad who’s been through a successful pregnancy. Not the same as another woman who’s lived through it, but about the best I’m going to get considering everything else going on. You’re supposed to calm my fears about things going wrong and make me believe that this is real.”

  Poor Will looked like a deer caught in my headlights. He wasn’t sure whether to confirm or deny what I’d just said.

  “Am I right?” I pressed.

  He averted his eyes as he told me yes.

  We were interrupted by the server coming over and taking our orders, which gave us both an opportunity to collect our thoughts. When he turned away to place our requests with the kitchen, Will and I both stared across the table at one another.

  “Your woman’s a keeper,” I smiled.