In Too Deep

by Mary Connealy

  “No, she doesn’t.” Ethan thought she’d made that really plain.

  “She wants him to help her explore the cavern.”

  “Rafe!” Ethan stopped walking. He saw Seth move faster to catch up.

  A pained expression flashed on Rafe’s face. “I promised her.”

  The smile on Ethan’s face got a lot bigger as he tried to cover up how he hated that cavern. The smile felt phony, but lucky for him, Rafe was worried about Seth, so maybe he didn’t notice.

  Audra chose that moment to swing the kitchen door open and yell again, “Dinner’s on, Ethan.”

  The three brothers went inside. To cover how unhappy he was about the cavern, Ethan slid his arm around Julia’s shoulders and said, “Did you know your ma was such a fine cook?”

  “My ma?” Julia stared at him, her brows lowered in confusion. Then she smiled. “Oh, right. Audra’s still my ma. I keep forgetting. You know, she’s my sister now, too.”

  Ethan laughed.

  Rafe, on Julia’s other side, shoved Ethan’s arm off her shoulder. “Go hang on to your own wife. Leave mine alone.”

  He pulled Julia close with rough affection. She smiled up at him in a way that made Ethan’s heart ache. Rafe and Julia really were in love.

  That was something he lacked, and he liked lacking it. Love always ended up hurting more than it was worth.

  Until he saw the affection pass between his brother and his sister-in-law. Then maybe he wanted it a little. He smiled bigger. “Hey, you know what that means, Julia?”

  “No, what?” Julia sounded suspicious of his high spirits.

  “Since I’m your ma’s husband, that must mean I’m your father.” Ethan grinned.

  At Julia’s flabbergasted look, he smirked. Audra snickered. Seth laughed out loud.

  “And,” Rafe added, “Audra’s babies are my sisters-in-law and my nieces, and if they’re my sisters, then they’re your sisters, too, right?”

  “So I’m my daughter’s brother?” Ethan shrugged, his smile a bit forced, mainly because he was still thinking about that blasted cavern. “Sounds about right.”

  “And if Julia’s married to the children’s father’s brother, then, Julia, you’re their aunt too, and I’m their uncle.” Rafe frowned in mock concentration as if he was trying to work it out. Rafe’s teasing smile was different—easy, relaxed.

  All in all, his brother had the look of a happy man, despite his contrary wife. Or rather, because of her.

  Which reminded Ethan that he had a contrary wife of his own. Which drew his eyes to the shining smile on Audra’s lips. She had a steaming pot in her hands.

  Julia noticed at the same moment.

  “Audra, you shouldn’t be lifting that heavy pot!” Julia went straight to being in charge. She wrestled Audra for the pot of boiling potatoes. Ethan saw the flash of irritation in Audra’s eyes, but Audra let Julia win.

  Seth picked up Maggie where she stood beside a chair. He sat down at the table, on the side that was closest to the wall. With Maggie on his lap, he began feeding her bits of bread.

  “Let me take her, Seth. Thank you for watching out for her.” Audra let go of the pot, then bustled around, setting a thick book under Maggie’s diapered bottom at the corner, with a chair between her and Seth. She wrapped a towel around the little girl’s belly, threaded through the back of the chair, tied tight to keep her from falling.

  While Ethan washed up, he noticed Lily lying in the drawer he’d brought downstairs. He was working on a cradle, but for now, the drawer, padded with a blanket, was more than big enough.

  “Seth, will you come home with us for the day and help me—?”

  “Us.” Rafe cut Julia off. “Help us.”

  “Yes, help us explore the cavern some more.” Julia gave Rafe a disgruntled look. “I’m not planning to leave you behind, Rafe.”

  “Seth might be.”

  “Sure, I’ll come with you.” Seth’s eyes took on a wild look of joy. Ethan didn’t like it.

  “No, he can’t go.” Audra tapped a metal ladle on the side of the potato pot she’d just emptied into a bowl. Her sharp voice turned everyone in the room to look at her.

  Ethan wondered at her tone. She spoke her mind with him, but when it came to Julia, and Rafe for that matter, Audra mostly just said “yes” and “I’m sorry.”

  “I think Seth should stay with us a while longer,” Audra said. She blushed and turned her attention to setting the bowl on the table.

  “I need him, Audra,” Julia said. “He knows that cavern better than any man alive. I mean, better than any man.”

  What did she mean by changing from the words “any man alive” to “any man”? Ethan wondered that as he moved close to sit between Seth and Maggie to watch her grabbing fingers. Audra hadn’t needed to tell him. He was learning.

  “I don’t want him down there. At least not yet.” Audra’s chin had a stubborn set to it, but she was talking straight at the platter of tender roast beef as she placed it on the table. She added a thick gravy and a bowl of carrots she’d dug up from their garden. Rafe’s men had tended the garden while Rafe had been busy getting himself married, and now Ethan and his family were eating like kings.

  “Audra, this isn’t your decision—it’s Seth’s.” The last of the food was served and Julia sat next to Rafe, who was at the head of the table.

  Audra looked at Seth, her eyes wide with regret. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound that way.”

  Seth was busy eating, so he didn’t say anything. He acted like he was ignoring the whole conversation and he probably was. In the end he’d do as he wished. And Ethan knew well that Seth usually wished to go into the cavern.

  Ethan scooped up some of the perfectly mashed potatoes and did his own tapping to get the food on a tin plate. He blew on the steaming potatoes and touched them with his fingers. When he was satisfied they weren’t too hot, he spooned them into Maggie’s wide open mouth.

  He’d like to stuff a spoonful of something in Julia’s mouth, so Audra would be happy and Seth would be kept aboveground.

  “Seth needs to face that cavern.” Julia had Lily in her lap, bouncing her with one impatiently tapping toe.

  “Julia, please. It’s too soon.” Audra finally sat down to eat her own meal, with Maggie between her and Ethan, but she kept that unusually stubborn look on her face.

  Ethan knew she was trying to prove she could be strong. She didn’t seem to have that much of a problem standing up to him, but he admitted that Julia was quite a test of a sturdy backbone.

  “He needs to learn to handle his fears if he’s ever going to stop having nightmares.” Julia seemed to be bouncing Lily faster all the time.

  “It’s probably not good for her to be bounced quite that hard when she’s so young.” Ethan relieved his sister and daughter, Julia, of his daughter and sister, Lily.

  “The cavern might make the nightmares worse.” Audra bit her lip, and Ethan found himself watching her every move. Which, considering he was feeding Maggie and holding Lily, was something to be proud of.

  “I don’t mind going.” Seth was still shoveling roast beef into his mouth.

  “You don’t know that, Audra.” Julia ignored Seth. And why not? It was Audra who needed convincing. “And I need him. But I wouldn’t ask him to go if I thought for one minute he’d be harmed by it.”

  “He’s not going.” Audra finished eating, then turned her attention to Maggie and wiped her little chin. Audra’s words were stern, yet her touch was gentle.

  “I kinda miss the cave.” Seth might as well have been talking to himself.

  “He is too going.” Julia cut the tender beef with way more energy than was called for.

  Audra untied Maggie’s little towel and stood her on the floor. Maggie toddled to Ethan with her hands outstretched. She bounced, her little knees bending as she reached for him, squealing to be picked up.

  Ethan slid Lily into one arm and scooped Maggie up with the other. He needed her to be quiet
so he could jump in and protect Audra if Julia got too bossy. Then he wondered where he’d find the fortitude to control Julia. He kind of liked watching them fuss at each other. Even Audra’s mild stubbornness was a big change from his ma’s quiet sadness. Ethan wondered if Julia had even noticed that Audra wasn’t taking orders as well as she used to.

  Finally, when the meal was finished and the women began clearing the table, Rafe said to Seth, in a low voice that carried under the women’s chattering, “So what do you think? Will it bother you to go into the cavern again?”

  Seth shrugged. “Don’t see why.”

  “Now, don’t just say it without thinking,” Ethan said. He decided menfolk ought to take over this decision, and he wasn’t giving Rafe a clear hand. Rafe relieved him of Lily. Ethan felt the need to back his wife. Although . . . Ethan froze as he thought of something else. If Seth rode off, he’d have his wife and children to himself for the afternoon.

  Maybe Seth could stay for a couple of days. A week even. Permanently maybe. Why not? Those nightmares were getting real old, Julia wanted him, and Seth loved the cavern. Suddenly Ethan liked the idea so much, he tried not to encourage Seth just because he wanted to get rid of him.

  “You’ve been having a lot of nightmares lately.” Ethan could really stand a good night’s sleep. Real selfish. And while he was being selfish, it wouldn’t break his heart to be alone with his wife for a while.

  Maggie bellowed and swatted him in the chin.

  Alone with the two young’uns, that is.

  “Part of it is the laudanum Tracker was feeding him.” Rafe leaned closer to stare at Seth as if he could see inside his head and judge whether there was a steady well-settled brain in there. “I think it takes some time to get that stuff out of your system. If that’s right, maybe you should wait awhile.”

  “Rafe!” Julia broke up their little discussion.

  “I’m just saying, honey, if it’ll hurt Seth, we should wait.” Rafe didn’t want to go hunting around that deadly cavern. Ethan could see Rafe didn’t have his usual cool control anymore. Married life had warmed him up.

  “Seth,” Julia said, leaning down and looking him in the eye, “how are you feeling?”

  “I’m fine. I like that cave. I miss it. Let’s go.”

  Audra came up beside Julia to face Seth. “It could give you worse nightmares.”

  Seth shrugged. “I doubt they can get any worse.”

  Ethan had to give him that.

  Rafe shoved his chair back and said, “It’s settled then.”

  Ethan had kinda stopped listening, so he wasn’t sure just what was settled.

  “What’s settled?” Julia asked.

  Ethan wasn’t the only one who’d lost the trail of this argument.

  “Seth is going with us.”

  “Now, Rafe . . .” Audra was doing her best to unsettle things. “I don’t think—”

  “I said it’s settled.” Rafe glared Audra into silence. “We said we’d let Seth decide.” Rafe’s glare didn’t have any real fire to it. Ethan knew Rafe could do much better. Still, Ethan felt his fists clench. Rafe wasn’t going to talk to Audra like that.

  “Audra, you know leaving the cavern behind was as much for you as for Seth, because we were worried about the children.” Rafe’s tone eased, which kept Ethan from stepping in. “When we first found him, I admit I thought he might vanish back down that hole and not come out.”

  “I’ll come back, Rafe.” Seth was talking with his mouth full. He’d loaded it up when the women started taking the food away. It gave Ethan a lot of pleasure to watch his skin-and-bones little brother pack away the food. Of course, he was probably hurrying to clean his plate so he could leave for the cavern. “Why would I stay down there when Audra and Julia are the best cooks in Colorado?”

  Rafe smiled and clapped Seth on the shoulder. “See what I mean? He’s a lot better. And if you’re still having nightmares, then I don’t see how it could hurt to go down. With Audra and the babies all the way over here, he can’t take them down. So there’s no reason Seth couldn’t wander in that cavern all he wants.”

  Ethan swallowed hard to keep from mentioning floors that broke like eggshells.

  “I’d really like to show Maggie the cavern sometime,” Seth said, then scooped up his potatoes with lightning speed.

  Rafe’s smile faltered. He looked at Julia as if he wished he could kidnap her and forget this whole cave mess. Ethan could sympathize.

  Then Rafe squared his shoulders and said, “Let’s go, Seth.”

  Rafe had always been like this. Ethan knew his big brother hated that cavern. Hated it almost as much as Ethan did. But he’d faced it. He’d been brave enough to go back down. Not Ethan. Going in after Maggie had been terrible. Before that, he’d gone in once, just a little, when Rafe called out for a lantern. That was it. He’d stayed far away, even though he knew that made him a coward.

  Now Rafe, hating the cavern as much as ever, was going down, facing it. Under control. It made Ethan ashamed.

  “We need to see to the foal, but even so we can be back to our cabin tonight, and we’ll explore come morning. Maybe you can stay a few days, Seth.”

  Rafe deposited Lily in Julia’s arms. Julia smiled as she took Lily, and Ethan wondered when his big brother might end up with a baby of his own.

  “We’ll take care of him, Audra. I promise.” With his arms empty, Rafe came around the table and swept Audra into a hug, which Ethan found annoying.

  His voice soft, Rafe said, “Thank you for caring about Seth. If I get any idea that his nightmares are worse because he’s been down there, we won’t try this again. I promise.”

  Audra’s brow was furrowed, and for a second Ethan thought he saw a shimmer of tears.

  “Let’s go see how your mare is doing.” Rafe clapped his hat on his head and led the way outside. In charge as always.

  As they left, Ethan thought about his wife’s tears for Seth. Ethan wasn’t sure he liked his little brother being such a favorite of Audra’s. Sometimes it seemed as if she liked Seth more than she liked him. And on that thought, Ethan found his smile.

  Somehow smiling helped him turn off all the things he fretted about. It had always been that way for Ethan.

  When something bothered him, he smiled and thought about something else. It usually worked, and right now it was working just fine because he realized he was going to get his pretty wife all to himself for at least one day.

  And night.

  Maybe it was time for his wife to find out what it meant to be a wife. And he could find out what it meant to be a husband while he was at it.

  Chapter

  9

  Jasper Henry, hearing footsteps rushing up behind him, ducked into an alley. He drew the little derringer he always carried and cursed himself for leaving his guards behind in his office. Especially at night. But he wanted to check the telegraph station by himself. He didn’t completely trust the men in his employ, and if the news was bad, he’d have to deal with it secretly.

  Anyway, he hadn’t been able to stay in that room for another second without exploding. And if he did explode, he didn’t want any witnesses.

  He had the name of a little Colorado town now. Beyond that, Mitch and Grove hadn’t found the money. Time was running out. Jasper had figured himself to be a thorough man. But despite a lifetime of plotting and planning, suddenly he realized his life was built on sand in a fast-emptying hourglass.

  The footsteps came closer and his heart pounded. He felt feverish, his stomach unsettled. It was fear.

  His hand clutched the derringer as if it were the only hold he had on life, and it just might be. Fear made him furious; it made him sick. Jasper Henry didn’t fear anyone. People feared him. He was the strongest man in the underbelly of this wide-open western town of Houston, and the town worked smoothly as long as everyone remembered to fear Jasper Henry.

  “Jasper, honey, come on out.”

  Trixie.

  He sagged against
the wall in relief. Trixie Bouvier was an old friend from back in their early days in New Orleans, when he poured drinks behind a bar and she worked upstairs. They’d both survived. When Jasper had gotten his own saloon, and a taste for having money, he found out that the way to money was through power. He began a step-by-step plan to gain both, and if a man had to die to clear Jasper’s path, Jasper had been willing to do the clearing.

  He’d brought Trixie along.

  Now she owned a saloon and had a string of girls, and Jasper had the rest of the town.

  “You come in here,” he said.

  Lights from the buildings on both sides of them poured enough light into the alley that he could identify Trixie and see she was alone.

  If the men he owed money were angry enough, they’d use anyone, including Trixie, who was the closest thing to a friend he had. He stood straight before she could see his slumped shoulders and weak knees. She had on her usual red dress. Her cheeks were red with rouge, and even in the darkened alley in the late evening, her lips glowed vivid painted-on scarlet.

  He saw the wrinkles, too. Trixie had been a beauty in her youth. She was still pretty when she was dressed right and had rouge on her cheeks. But now in the shadowed alley with a dim light coming from a nearby window, all her artifice was gone. All he saw was an old worn-out dance-hall girl.

  Yet he was her age, which meant he was old, too.

  Cringing in an alley seemed real worn-out.

  “I heard talk, Jasper.”

  “Talk?” Jasper’s stomach dived. Had the word gotten out about the theft? Jasper thought long and hard, hating Wendell for being at the wrong place at exactly the wrong time and walking away with Jasper’s money.

  “About somebody taking what was yours,” Trixie added.

  “What did they say exactly?” Jasper knew the rumors that ran through Trixie’s saloon were wild and undependable. But even a whisper about Jasper not being able to pay his bills would quickly reach the Hardeseys.

  “I heard you were cheated. Cheated big. That’s why I came. The fact that you got robbed at all is big, Jasper, honey. I’d say you’ve got until the payment is due at the end of the month. If there’s trouble then, Hugh Hardesey will start listening closer to the rumors.”